


Stages, from Tora's POV

by peanutbutterandchelly



Series: Stages [2]
Category: Midnight Poppy Land (Webcomic)
Genre: All the World's a Stage, Angst, Consensual Sex, F/M, First Impressions, First Time, Fluff, Heartbreak, Honesty, Hurt, Loss, Loss of Virginity, Opening Up, Oral Sex, Romance, Sex, Smut, Stages of Relationships, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 93,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutbutterandchelly/pseuds/peanutbutterandchelly
Summary: A retelling of Stages in its entirety, told from Tora's point of view.
Relationships: Tora/Poppy, Tora/Poppy Wilkes
Series: Stages [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1961800
Comments: 449
Kudos: 352





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BadWriterGoodIntentions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadWriterGoodIntentions/gifts).



> HAPPY MPL UPDATE DAY, EVERYONE!!!
> 
> Quick note: I just deleted the 24th chapter of Stages where I asked you all to vote for the scenes you'd like to see from Tora's POV. I replaced it with a new announcement regarding this story, but in case you missed it, I'm going to be writing the ENTIRETY of Stages through Tora's eyes :) There was an overwhelming amount of reponses/requests for it and let's face it, I kind of wanted to do it, too :)
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this first chapter! 
> 
> Biggest shoutout to BadWriterGoodIntentions for asking me about the possibility of a story told from Tora's POV. Great minds think alike and you're my shining staaaaar! 
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c 
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Time travels at different speeds for different people.  
I can tell you who time strolls for, who it trots for,  
who it gallops for, and who it stops cold for.”  
-William Shakespeare, _As You Like It_

\--- 

“Honey, come on, you have to drink _something,”_ Quincey whined at him. “Everyone else is drinking and they’ll wonder why you’re not. You’re spoiling your own party!”

“Don’t care what everyone else thinks,” Tora said gruffly, his arms crossed over his chest. “And I told ya not ta throw a fuckin’ party fer me, anyway.” 

Did he _really_ expect the princess to listen, though? Shit, he obviously wasn’t interested in hearing what Tora had to say a year ago, so why did he think that would change now?

Quincey puffed out his lower lip at him. “Come _oooooon,_ let me make you something! All you have to do is try it. If you don’t like it, you can just walk around with it and people will think you’re actually enjoying yourself at m- er, your party.”

Tora rolled his eyes. Of _course_ Quincey was concerned about appearances at this stupid party. It was about him all along. Always was. 

He’d try whatever stupid fruity drink his brother concocted and tell him he hated it, no matter what. It would get Quincey off his back, anyway. 

“Fine. Just pick somethin’ and then leave me alone.”

Quincey clapped his hands together. “Oh, yay! Okay, let’s see here,” he said as his eyes roamed over the bar. “I’ve got wine, but it’s a white Moscato. Somehow I think that’ll be a little too sweet for you. Um… there’s tequila, I could make you a margarita?” 

Tora gave him a hard glare. 

“No? Too much flavor? Too sour? Okay. Rum and Coke? Or… do you even drink soda? Are you watching your weight because-“

_”Quinceton.”_

“Okay, sheesh. How about a black Russian?” he asked as he gripped at a brown bottle with a bright orange label. “It’s a little dark and bitter, kind of like you.” Quincey smirked. 

Tora ignored him and pointed at the bottle. “S’that?”

“Kahlua, it’s a coffee liqueur.”

“Don’t like coffee.”

“Since when?”

“Since I was in prison fer a year, where they only made hot liquid garbage.”

“Well, you’re not making this easy!” Quincey cried. “I promise Kahlua tastes nothing like the sludge they served in that… that _place.”_

“Fer Christ’s sake, what do ya got in your fridge?” Tora asked and ripped the door open. This was getting fucking ridiculous. “Here, I’ll just drink this. Fuck.” He pulled out a jug of chocolate milk and slammed it down on the counter. 

“Oh my god, are you twelve?” Quincey shrieked. 

“Found it in _your_ fridge, princess.”

“Um, you’re not drinking chocolate milk by itself. I’m going to add it to your black Russian. It’ll be a white Russian with a twist.”

“Whatever, just hurry up.”

Tora watched as Quincey poured a shot of vodka into the glass, then added the Kahlua and chocolate milk. When the chocolate milk hit the dark liquid, a mini cream-colored mushroom cloud erupted in the cup. He probably wouldn’t drink it, but it was kinda cool looking. 

Quincey shoved the glass into his hand. “Well, try it. Tell me what you think.”

Tora sniffed at it and then took a healthy swig. Sort of creamy and sweet with the bitter aftertaste of coffee that reminded him of the mornings he’d spent in the prison cafeteria. He hated it. 

“This is gross, Quince,” he said and cradled it to his chest. 

“Well, at least you gave it a shot. There’s nothing wrong with trying something new, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I go now?”

“Sure, darling. Go. Go mingle!” Quincey said and shoved him into the living room. 

\---

Tora stalked slowly through the living room, keeping his back to the wall as he went. He visited with Ronzo, who stopped by for an hour before his shift started at Chevy’s. After that, he didn’t care to socialize with anyone else. Quincey said the guest list was for twenty people max and there were at least fifty currently packed into his penthouse. It felt like a pain in the ass clan gathering, with as many members as there were in the crowd. 

Tora sucked in his breath as he brushed past Claude, one of the last people to see his brother alive. He still wasn’t entirely convinced that he had nothing to do with Goliath’s death. He probably helped his buddy Kane set the whole thing up. 

His jaw clenched.

Quincey didn’t know what any of them were really like, didn’t hear about the shit they’d done, didn’t see the blood on their hands. He didn’t care that Goliath was gone, that Kane was the reason for it. Shit, he didn’t even believe it when Tora told him, his own _brother._

If there was no trust between them, in all the years they’d grown up together, were they even brothers at all?

Could he really not trust anyone but himself?

Tora kept his face blank as he skirted around to the other side of the room. He walked slowly along the wall and then stopped when he saw Shing Ma perched on a dining chair, one leg crossed over the other, sitting right in the middle of his path. 

Shing glanced up at him and smirked. He pointed at the glass Tora still held against his chest. “Chocolate milk, hmm? Interesting choice,” he said and motioned his own drink up to him, some piss-looking amber liquid, in a “cheers” gesture. 

For a moment, Tora stared at him with one eyebrow raised. He took in the sight of his polished suit, his weird socks and his braided hair tucked neatly away from his sharp face. Shing was in finances, but there was something deathly quiet and _calculating_ about him that Tora did not trust.

“S’cuse me,” he finally gruffed out and made a wide berth around him.

Creepy fuck. 

Tora had almost made a full circle around the room when he heard a voice that made his skin crawl. There, five feet in front of him, chatting up some leggy blonde chick, was Kane. 

He laughed at something the blonde said and then glanced over her shoulder. When Kane spotted him, he greeted him with a wide, toothy smile and it took everything in Tora not to rip it off his face.

“Hey, Big Bro! What’s up? Long time, no see.”

\---

Tora ducked into the kitchen and after a quick glance around, he found he was alone. Thank fuck. 

He clenched his drink tightly in his fist. For a moment, he considered downing the whole thing, getting a few punches in at Kane and then blaming it on the booze. He mulled this over as he swirled the contents around in his glass. On second thought, if Kane was going to be at this party for awhile, it was better to keep a level head.

He let out a shaky breath and began to pace back and forth across the tiled floor. Too many times he’d imagined what seeing Kane again might look like. It was usually a vision tinted in violent red with Kane sprawled out beneath him, his life slowly seeping out of him. Maybe in an alleyway or Goliath’s apartment, a fitting end to the man who ended _him._

It was never in his brother’s penthouse, in the middle of a party full of witnesses. What the _fuck_ was Quincey thinking, inviting him here? Even if he didn’t believe Tora about what Kane did, didn’t he at least _respect_ his feelings about him?

Obviously not. 

_Fuck._

Tora leaned against the counter and held his glass against his chest. What was that bullshit mantra his hippie cell mate always repeated to him? 

_My desires are on their way to me._

He inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly.

_My desires are on their way to me._

He would give Kane what he deserved. He’d waited a year; he could wait a little longer. 

_My desires are on their way-_

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the sight of a short little woman bustling into the room. She turned the corner sharply and with her back to him, she slammed something down; it made a clinking sound as it hit the counter.

She yanked out what he could now see was a glass bottle and began to use her hand to try to unscrew the lid. 

He stood silently for a moment, eyes wide, taking in the sight of this little whirlwind of a person. She was so _small._ Her brown hair was in two braids and she wore a bulky white sweater. It looked like it was a size too big for her, but it did _nothing_ to hide her curves. She was round in all the right places and he wondered if her face was as beautiful as the rest of her. 

_Turn around. Turn around. Turn around._

_Look at me._

There was no way she was part of the clan’s world; at least, he’d never seen her around before. He definitely would have remembered her. So what the hell was she doing here? Did she have brown eyes or blue? How did she know Quincey? Did she feel as soft as she looked? Was she here with another guy?

Why the _fuck_ did it matter?

He watched her wrestle with the bottle lid for a few seconds longer, then spoke up. 

“Don’t think those are twist-offs.”

She let out a gasp and spun around quickly.

_Brown._

Her eyes were big and brown, her lips were tinted pink and her face…

She looked like a goddamned angel.

He continued to stare at her while she appeared to study him. What was she thinking? What did she sound like? Soft and sweet, like every other part of her?

He blinked as she blew a piece of her bangs out of her eyes and then huffed at him. “Coming from the guy who poured himself a glass of Yoo-Hoo and forgot his crazy straw to drink it with?”

It took every ounce of strength he had not to laugh. She was so… _feisty._ Clearly she was upset over something and he was the nearest person to take it out on. Fine with him. She could do whatever she wanted.

And the hell was… did she say Yahoo? Whatever it was, he knew he’d never be able to drink chocolate milk without thinking of her again. 

“What makes you think they’re not twist-offs?” she asked.

Tora tried to keep his face as straight as he could. “Well, for one, with the way ya’ve been wrestlin’ with it, you woulda had it off by now. And two,” he said, peering around the side of her, “ya wouldn’t be bleedin’ all over the countertop.”

Her eyebrows furrowed and her head whipped around. “Oh, God,” she moaned and reached for the paper towels. “I’m sorry.”

And he thought she was cute when she was angry… Embarrassment looked even better on her. Her round cheeks were flushed with red and she kept her head tucked down as she quickly wiped up the mess. She bit her bottom lip as she worked and it took everything in him to pull his eyes away. 

“No need to apologize ta me. S’not my counter.” In two steps, he crossed the kitchen and set his milk down. He gripped the wine cooler from her hand and for the first time in over a year, he could feel himself slipping into bodyguard mode. “Band-Aids are in that cabinet there,” he pointed. “Ya need help gettin’ yerself cleaned up?” 

He reached for her injured hand and she snapped it back into her chest. 

“NO!” she shouted and he raised his eyebrows at her. Okay, so she was _very_ upset over something. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but he couldn’t get his mouth to form the words.

Her face softened. “I mean, no thank you. I can do it.”

He stood there looking down at her, this tiny, otherworldly thing. In a matter of minutes, she’d blown into the kitchen, huffed at him, stood up for herself and then rejected his offer to help. Normally people took one look at him and fled in the opposite direction. Not her. She wasn’t just feisty, she was _strong._ Brave.

If she ever agreed to have him, he would never let her go.

He nodded after a moment and used the edge of the countertop to snap the lid off her bottle. He placed it in her good hand and marveled at how small they were compared to his own. “Here,” he said. “Ya seem like you need this.”

He picked up his drink, turned to step out of the room and was stopped dead in his tracks by the sound of her voice. 

“Thank you.”

He spun around to face her and smiled brightly. “White Russian,” he said, hoping that she wouldn’t be able to ever drink one without thinking of him, either. 

“Huh?”

He shook his glass at her. “My drink. It’s a white Russian, but I made it with chocolate milk instead. I’m trying somethin’ new.”

Then he left her alone.

\---

For the next hour, Tora found himself gravitating toward the kitchen. 

He’d never seen her leave it and he wanted to check on her, not that she needed it. In a handful of moments, she had become the only person he wanted to talk to at this stupid party. 

As more and more people began to crowd inside the kitchen, he finally pushed his way in and propped himself up against the counter. His eyes scanned the room, seeking her out and suddenly he saw her, standing not far from where they’d first met. She was laughing and holding one of her braids over her upper lip like a mustache. 

She was… adorable.

He brought his glass to his lips, thinking he might give his chocolate milk another try when she looked straight into his eyes. He sucked in his breath and then she smiled at him. 

Fucking _smiled._ At _him._

If that wasn’t an invitation, he didn’t know what was.

He blinked and pushed himself from the counter. 

It was go time. 

\---

“Ya know, it shouldn’t be that easy fer a guy to get yer attention,” Tora murmured as he stood in front of her. He was so close that she had to look straight up at him. He was being cocky; he knew it, couldn’t help it. He wanted to fluster her and see if he could get her cheeks to turn that color red again.

Instead, she stared straight into his eyes again and said, “Don’t flatter yourself. You had my attention for a few seconds and you lost it. The only way I would be interested in talking to you now is if…”

She paused and he watched her eyes slope downwards across his chest and his arms. Normally he didn’t appreciate women checking him out like he was a piece of meat, but he liked it when _she_ looked at him.

She giggled as her eyes locked back onto his. “…is if you show me the rest of your tattoos.”

His eyebrows shot skyward. 

_Little shit…_

Was this the game they were going to play? In the middle of a crowd of people? Oh, it was fucking _on._

He kept his eyes trained on hers as he set his glass down behind her, then tugged his shirt over his head. He threw it on the floor and anticipated her reaction. 

Her big eyes grew even larger as they roamed over his upper body, pausing at his chest, then his hips. Distantly he heard Quincey yell something about tigers at him. He waited for it, but she didn’t blush. 

He could fix that. 

Tora leaned in close to her ear. “I have more, but I’m not gonna show ya here. Wanna head to my place?”

_There it was,_ that fucking strawberry-colored blush. Christ, why did he enjoy this so much?

“Um, I- uh, I’m good,” she sputtered, shifting her gaze away from him. 

He’d expected her to say no, but it didn’t stop him from feeling a little disappointed. If they went back to his place, he could talk to her openly and get to know her without the eyes of half of Clan Balthuman on their backs. 

Maybe he’d get her phone from her later and plug his number into it, his _real_ one. If he gave her the choice, maybe by some miracle she’d reach out to him. 

He laughed lowly at her and picked up his shirt. “Sure ya are. Let me know if ya change yer mind.” He pulled the shirt over his head and tugged it down. “Name’s Tora,” he said and then he couldn’t help himself; he _had_ to touch her. He gently coiled his hand around her upper arm, then slid it down until his fingers were intertwined with hers. 

So soft, small. Perfect.

“Um, I’m Poppy,” she said in a high-pitched squeal and wrenched her hand from his. 

Poppy, huh? Cute name. He liked it.

He leaned around her to collect his drink and as he pulled back, he could smell the scent of her shampoo lingering in her hair. It was light, pretty, sort of floral. 

Kind of like her. 

When he moved to step away from her, he decided he had to mess with her one last time. 

“See ya later… Bobby.”

He didn't wait for her reaction. Instead, he pushed past the people who had gathered around them and the smile fell from his face when he saw Kane leaning against the doorframe, wearing a shit-eating grin. 

Something told Tora he’d seen the whole thing.

\---

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

An internal onslaught of panic surged through Tora as he leaned against the wall in Quincey’s living room. If Kane thought he had the _slightest_ interest in her, it was hard telling what he might do. He had every reason to assume the worst from Kane and for all he knew, she was already on his radar. 

Why did he have to be so fucking stupid? Ripping his shirt off in a crowd of people, _clan members_ no less, just to make a woman blush? Since when did he do shit like that?

Christ.

He’d have to stay away from her, somehow pretend that he didn’t give a shit. 

But _how_ was he supposed to do that when every few minutes, he caught her staring from across the room? Every time her eyes landed on him, he couldn’t help but smirk and push his sleeves up at her to reveal more of his tattoos. She would turn red and quickly look away and he was living for it. 

His heart seized in his chest when he saw Kane slide into the armchair adjacent to Poppy. He didn’t pay her any attention; the fucker looked stoned out of his mind. But the fact that he saw fit to be anywhere near her did not sit well with Tora. The second he got up, Tora would be ready to slide into his seat.

Tora watched as Quincey’s weird friend Rowan gathered people around the coffee table for stone readings. He snorted. Quincey had always been gullible and he tended to collect shiny, quack people as friends. He’d seen this trick of Rowan’s several times; he thought he could read people’s futures on the faces of these little rocks. Like most fortune tellers, he never gave specific, detailed answers; it was always something vague that anyone could relate to if they thought hard enough about it. 

What a crock of shit.

Tora perked up though when he saw a blue-haired woman urging Poppy forward to have hers read. She appeared reluctant at first and finally held out her hands to accept the bag of rocks. She shook it vigorously, poking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she did so and then passed the bag back to Rowan. 

He scattered the rocks across the coffee table and studied them intently. Tora wished he were closer to hear what he was saying to her, or that he could read her mind to find out what question she’d asked. 

Poppy fixated hard on Rowan as he gave his reading and, in that moment, Kane pushed himself out of the recliner and ventured into the kitchen. Without a second thought, Tora silently slipped into the chair and when he did, Poppy’s wide-eyed gaze settled on him.

He lifted his eyes to hers and this time, she didn’t look away.

\---

Tora had her phone. 

He didn’t feel great about slipping it from her jean pocket, but it was the only way he thought to give her his number without attracting Kane's attention. At least this way he didn’t have to verbally ask for her phone and could play it off like he found it on the floor if Kane were to notice. 

He was just going to return it, with his number inside. 

If she ever needed help, maybe he would be the one she’d turn to. Or maybe she’d reach out just to say hi. Tora even allowed himself to hope that maybe she’d call and ask to see him again. Doubtful, but it felt good to think about.

The cell phone was tiny like her and his big fingers had a difficult time trying to punch in the numbers on the little keypad. When she finally noticed her phone was missing and saw it in his hands, she marched right up to him and asked him what he thought he was doing. 

He finished typing in his contact name and handed it back to her before answering. 

“Puttin’ the ball in your court,” he replied.

\---

Christ, he’d forgotten how annoying Quincey was when he was drunk. 

Not only was he tripping over himself through every room of his house, but every time he saw Tora, he whipped out a dollar bill and threw it at him, demanding him to “take it off.”

If he remembered it the next morning, he would never let Tora live down his little strip tease.

As the night began to wind down and most of the crowd had gone home, Kane included, Tora allowed himself to relax. Maybe now that it was quiet and certain eyes were not on them, he could sit down and talk to her properly, find out more about her. 

He was searching the rooms for her when Quincey stumbled up to him. “Bro, I think I’m going to be sick,” he moaned. 

“Do I look like a toilet to ya?” Tora asked, his eyes roaming for her. 

“Well, no, I just… I don’t remember where the bathroom is. Ugh, why is this happening to _meee?_ I don’t _want_ to puke,” he whined. “This is a new sweater and…”

“Don’t think ya have a choice on pukin’, Quince,” he replied and caught Quincey as he leaned too far forward. “Christ, how many drinks did ya have?”

“Um… let’s see. One, two,” he counted them off on his fingers. “All of them. I had all the drinks. Will you please help me? _Please?_ ”

This. This is why he never drank. It reduced people to helpless puddles, unable to control themselves. Tora huffed at him in annoyance, his eyes darting around the room one last time. She wasn’t in it. “Fuckin’ fine. S’go outside, the cold air will feel good to ya.”

He wound one arm around his brother and managed to get him outside by some bushes before he puked. Tora fired up a cigarette and absentmindedly patted Quincey’s back while he continued to hurl the contents of his stomach into the landscaping.

“I-I’m sorry,” Quincey eventually sobbed. “I-I just wanted you to have a good time. I missed you. I’m sorry I didn’t visit more often.”

Tora sighed. “S’fine. Didn’t really want anyone seein’ me like that, anyway. But I missed ya too, princess.”

As he put his cigarette out with his shoe on the concrete, his phone dinged in his pocket. 

_550-517-1314, 1 New Message_

Who the hell?

_This is Poppy. You didn’t drive, did you?_

Holy. Shit. 

She was looking for him? She was worried about him drinking and driving?

His eagerness to respond overrode his initial shock and he typed out a quick reply. 

_no I’m walking around the apartment complex. Quincey is feeling sick and I figured the cold air would do him some good._

She’d had more to drink than he did; did she need a ride?

_you okay to drive home?_

_Not at all, so we’re taking a cab,_ she sent back.

He sighed heavily, thankful she was being safe but disappointed that he wasn’t the one who was taking her home.

And then another text, one that made him dare to hope and smile from ear to ear. 

_I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried._

He almost deleted his reply. He knew it was cocky and forward, but he couldn’t help it. He was learning quickly that when it came to this woman, the last thing he wanted was to hold himself back. 

He wanted _her._

_with me, you never have to._


	2. The Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I have to get this off my chest: I am absolutely THRILLED that so many of you are excited to read this whole thing again through Tora's eyes. At first, I was dead-set against it, unsure why/if anyone would want to reread the same story. I wasn't ready for the original story to be over, but I didn't want it to feel like overkill or be too repetitive, which is where the idea for one-shots came from. 
> 
> Then SO. MANY. OF. YOU. (including my best friend) told me how much you wanted his view point on every chapter and I was floored in the best way. To know that you enjoy my writing enough to reread the same plot and that you _trust_ me to do it sends me over the freaking moon. I'm so honored and blessed to be part of this community. I love you all so so much and I'm excited to go on this ride alongside of you again: through the good parts, the bad and every one in between. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the second chapter and as always, thanks for reading!
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“This is the kind of affair to make you dance about  
But there's something to say for the things  
You wouldn't regularly let out  
At least this chase  
Makes you feel new”  
-Gavin DeGraw, “She Holds a Key”

\---

“The tavern was damp, dark and grimey, but the pirate didn’t care. All he saw was this magnificent creature in black leather and heavy armour, standing before him. And as the pirate ran his soft, velvety palm down the stranger’s strong, leather-clad arm, a sweet gasp escaped from his-“

Tora interrupted Quincey’s reading while he fired his rifle at the virtual soldier on the flat screen tv. The bullet missed and he sighed in frustration before turning to his brother. 

“Fucker never had to steer a ship or pull a rope in his life before?” He snorted. “How the hell is his palm still ‘soft and velvety’?” 

Quincey rolled his eyes skyward. “Hand cream, Tora. Copious amounts of hand cream.”

“Hand cream, huh?” he smirked. “Nice.” He returned to his game and popped off another shot at the soldier. Fuck yeah, a direct hit.

“Okay homeboy, are you just naturally this bad at beta-reading or do you do this on purpose?” Quincey huffed, splaying his journal out in his lap. 

“Look, you said ya wanted feedback and that’s what I’m givin’ ya. Now either keep readin’ or I’m going home.”

“Good Lord, what was I even thinking? This is some of my best, smuttiest work and it’s being wasted on a Neanderthal,” Quincey moaned dramatically. 

“Ain’t no Neanderthal,” Tora grumbled as his virtual self was suddenly surrounded by an enemy troop. 

“Oh, really? Then what was that… _display_ in the kitchen last night, Tarzan? Is the poor girl you cornered still asleep in your apartment?”

Tora’s heart thumped hard at the thought of her. He’d been dying to check his phone all afternoon to see if she’d texted him, but Quincey’s rules from a year ago were still firmly, annoyingly in place: no phones while beta reading.

She hadn’t responded to his message last night, the one about never having to worry and it caused _him_ to. Did he lay it on too thick, turn her off? He’d never fret over hearing from a woman before; if anything, after a one night stand, he prayed they wouldn’t contact him again. But her? He’d immediately saved her number in his phone and waited for the moment he’d see the name _bobby_ light up across the screen. 

He couldn’t stop fucking _thinking_ about her. He could still see her whipping around and insulting his drink, hear her cute little voice, still _smell_ her…

He cleared his throat and tried to focus on taking out the band of enemy soldiers advancing behind his character.

“Well, if I dunno what the fuck I’m doin’,” he finally said, ignoring Quincey’s questions, "then who was doin’ all the beta reading for you while I was locked up? Call their asses ‘n get ‘em over here.”

“Oh, well, Kane and Rowan did for about eight months. Then I signed on with my editor, Poppy and she’s been sitting in their place. She was here last night, did I not introduce you to her?”

Once again, Tora’s heart raced. She was his _editor?_ “Ah, no. No, ya didn’t.”

Once Tora finished with the onslaught of soldiers behind him, he set his sights on the one remaining in front of him. The idiot had his back to him; it would be easy to take him down. 

Quincey chuckled. “Well, that was rude of me, I’m sorry. I had too much to drink last night and forgot where I placed my manners. You should really meet her, she’s such a sweet little thing. Actually, something fun,” he said thoughtfully, ”she’s _exactly_ your type.”

Blood roared in his ears. Tora fucking knew she was, but he couldn’t have anyone else knowing it. Too dangerous.

He’d snuck forward until he was a few feet or so from the virtual soldier when it briskly spun around and aimed its rifle at him. It fired and shot his character right in the heart. 

Red, smudged words flashed across the screen. 

_GAME OVER_

Tora’s face fell and he lowered the controller. 

Damn. 

“Tch,” he said and Quincey frowned beside him. 

“’Tch’? Just ‘Tch’? My man, a rock is more loquacious than you. Anyway, I’m not going to bother my little Poppy today, she said she had plans with her friends. You can meet her some other time… Oh!” Quincey clapped his hands together. “I’ll have you drive her here for our next meeting. She really is the cutest girl, with the most _perfect_ bottom, I swear. You’re going to love her.” Quincey wiggled his eyebrows at him. 

Tora frowned.

“Oh well,” the blonde man sighed. “Until then, looks like I’m stuck with you.”

“Ya don’t gotta be stuck with me,” Tora snapped, irritated that he kept bringing Poppy up. He needed to drop that shit _fast._ He could just hear him, his loudmouth gossip of a brother, telling fucking Kane _all_ about how he was trying to set Tora up with her.

Christ, he needed a fucking cigarette. 

“Ya said it yerself, you had two other people sit in my place,” he continued. “Why don’tcha call Rowan and he can beta read some rocks for ya?” Tora snorted. “Or yer buddy Kane, since apparently him hangin’ around here is still a thing, even after what he did.”

Quincey’s face dropped. “Now, Tora, not this again… Kane’s not as bad as you-“

Tora shoved himself from the couch. “Tell that to fuckin’ Goliath,” he spat and threw the controller down on the coffee table. “We done here?”

Quincey’s eyes softened and he closed the journal in his lap. “Yeah, honey. We can be done for the day.”

“Good,” he hissed and snatched up his phone. He stole a quick glance at the screen. No missed calls, no text messages.

“I’m goin’ to the fuckin’ gym.”

\---

Several miles on the treadmill and countless reps on the bench press later, Tora was sweaty, worn out and only slightly calmer. His muscles throbbed, but they were nothing compared to the ache in his chest. He’d already lost one brother and felt dangerously close to losing another. Why the fuck did Quincey lean so heavily on Kane? ‘Cuz Kane was a yes man, and asked “How high?” when Quincey told him to jump? Because he didn’t challenge him the way Tora did? 

Was this all his fault?

Sure, he and Goliath hadn’t been the nicest to him growing up, but that’s just the way older brothers _were._ It was their dynamic, always had been. Quincey was the tattle tale and Tora and Goliath put him in his place. But they also defended him at every turn; _they_ could make fun of him and rough him up a bit but if anyone else did? Fucking world of pain, every time. Quincey was _theirs_ and no one could get in the way of that. 

At least, no one until Kane. 

_Fuck._

Tora hopped back on the treadmill, prepared to run until he threw up or passed out. He was a mile and a half in when his phone rang. He stepped off the machine and pulled his cell out of his pocket. Maybe it was Quincey, wanting to make one of his rare apologies. At worst, it was Vincent, wanting to send him out on a job.

He looked down at his phone and his heart thundered in his chest. 

The name _bobby_ was flashing across the screen.

\---

_Holy fuck._

At most, he’d wondered if she would text him again; a phone call was more than he had dared hope for. He’d been dying to talk to her again and now he could hear her voice, all with the press of a button. 

Why did that excite and scare the hell out of him at the same time?

He sat down on the weight bench and stared at her name. It rang two or three more times before he realized he’d better answer it or the call would be sent to voicemail. 

He sucked in a deep breath and hit the green _answer_ button.

“Hey, Bobby.”

He didn’t give a shit if she knew he’d saved her number in his phone; after last night, she had to know he was interested in her. Hell, after his stupid little strip tease, the whole party knew he wanted her.

“Um, hi, Tor- er, _baby,”_ she said. “How’s your day?”

His eyebrows flew up. 

_Baby?_

Was it possible that she could want him, too?

He forced a laugh out and tried to sound calmer than he felt. “Pfft. Baby, huh? Doin’ better now that I’m talkin’ to you, _sweetheart._ How are ya?”

“Oh, I’m good. I, um, I had fun last night,” she muttered. He could practically _hear_ her blushing. 

His reply was quick and forward; he just couldn’t help himself. “You thought _that_ was fun? I can show ya fun…”

She let out a weird laugh. “Oh, my god, Tora, you’re so funny!” 

He frowned. That wasn’t the reaction he’d been expecting. He wasn’t trying to be _funny,_ damnit. 

She continued, her voice a little rushed. “So, um, listen, my friends are here with me and they’re upset that they haven’t been introduced to my _boyfriend_ yet. Would you mind saying hello to them? _Please?”_

He laughed, trying to mask his disappointment. So she hadn’t called because she wanted to chat or see him again. Shit.

“Ah. So yer sayin’ ya need a favor?”

“Yes.”

All right, fine. He’d play along, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t getting something out of this, too. 

“I love those. What’s in it fer me?”

“Ummm…” She paused and then, “Whatever you want.”

It was instant. “Sleep with me.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line and it was quiet for so long that he thought she’d hung up. Fuck. Why did he have to be such a smug asshole?

“Bobby, ya still there?”

He let out a deep breath as she spoke up. “Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah. I’m still here.”

“Shit. Didn’t mean to make ya uncomfortable,” he said as he raked a hand through his hair. “I’ll talk to yer friends, just put ‘em on.”

“Well,” she said, “what’s something _else_ you’d want in return?”

He thought he heard someone squeal in the background. He paused and considered his answer carefully. He just wanted to _see_ her again, to talk to her without worrying about who was watching them.

“Dinner. At your place. Tuesday, 6 pm. Send me ya home address and I’ll find my way there.”

“Sure thing, baby. It’s a date. Just text me what you’d like to eat. I’m going to pass you over to Danae and Mirabelle now.”

_Date._

She called it a date. 

He cleared his throat. “See ya then, sweetheart.”

“Oh my god, Dani, put him on speaker!” he heard a girl shriek and he rolled his eyes. Christ. Seeing her again would make this worth it. 

He took a breath as they began pelting him with questions. He tried to remain as patient and collected as he could, treating them like he did Quincey when he was being over the top. He answered them carefully and honestly, not going into too much detail about his job or his looks. Finally, the one called Danae asked how he met Poppy. 

He thought about it a moment, knowing she was more than likely listening to his answers right alongside her friends. He could just stick to the facts and say they’d met at Quincey’s party, or he could lob a ball back in her direction. 

In the end, he decided to say it exactly as he felt it. His whole life he’d done nothing but hold himself back from being who he was, who he truly wanted to be. That was over now. He wanted her and more than that, he wanted her to know it. 

“We met at a mutual friend’s party,” he said. “She looked like a goddamned angel and I couldn’t stay away from her.”

The girls ooooh’ed and aaaah’ed over his answer, but their responses weren’t the ones he was interested in. He wanted to know what Poppy thought. 

He waited to hear what she had to say, but she remained silent. Hmmpf. Maybe he’d find out how she felt on Tuesday night. 

He chatted lightly with the girls for a moment more before hanging up. He sat on the bench for several minutes, grinning from ear to ear, trying to process what had just happened. 

She’d needed someone to pretend to be her boyfriend and she called _him._ Then agreed to have dinner with _him._

_”It’s a date.”_

Fuck, he hoped she meant it.


	3. Dinner - Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I'm so freaking excited and giddy to rewrite this scene through Tora's eyes! It's one of my top five favorite moments from the original story. I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Quick note about the song choice: I hadn't listened to "This is For Keeps" in _years,_ but it was the first song that came to mind when writing this. If you've heard it in its entirety, then you probably gathered that it's about a vampire inviting a human to be his lover and join his world. 
> 
> I felt it emulated Tora's feelings toward this dinner perfectly; he asks to be invited in, knowing that the second he steps inside, she may very well be doomed. But he's drawn to her desperately and so torn between wanting to stay away to keep her safe and wanting to be near her and build a relationship with her. Ugh, being inside this dude's head is doing all the things to me. And you guys want me to rewrite the break up scenes!! Gah! LOL 
> 
> Also, if you've read Lily's other comic, "Asura's Bride" and know its connections to "Midnight Poppy Land," then you'll understand another reason for my choosing this gothic song about men with fangs ;) 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and your constant support!
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“The air is thick with tension much like when we are together.  
My fangs are aching as I'm pondering about you and I forever.  
As I round your corner, I am nervous that you won't be my lover.  
Knock three times and hope that my pale complexion won't blow my cover.  
Answer the door with your innocent face,  
Would you like to leave this human race tonight?”  
-A Spill Canvas, “This is For Keeps”

\---

Monday evening found Tora scrubbing his hands hard as he washed them in his bathroom sink. Vincent had sent him out to collect long overdue rent from one of the clan’s tenants; a middle-aged man who operated a small casino. 

Same shit, different day, somebody else’s blood. 

Tora winced as he dug deep under his fingernails. He was supposed to send a message, rough the guy up a bit and get whatever money he could out of him. He’d landed a couple of punches on his face and once this motherfucker started bleeding, he didn’t _stop._ Must’ve been on blood thinners or some shit because it got everywhere: his hands, his face, his shirt, his brand new white shoes. 

He’d left in a hurry, but not before telling the man to sit down and pinch the soft part of his nose for ten minutes and to lean forward, breathe through his mouth so the blood would drain out his nose instead of down his throat. 

Fuck, what he wouldn’t give to never have to make anyone bleed again. 

He splashed some water on his face and rubbed at it with a towel until his cheeks were tinged pink. He looked at himself closely in the mirror and smiled softly as he realized he was wearing the same shade of red that could often be found on Poppy’s face. 

He hadn’t spoken to her since Sunday afternoon. After he’d hung up with her friends, she sent him a text with her home address, an apartment building he wasn't familiar with, about twenty minutes outside of the city. 

He couldn’t exactly pin why he hadn’t reached out to her. Maybe he was afraid of pushing his luck; what was to stop her from changing her mind the second she saw him calling? He didn’t want to pressure her into something she didn’t really want to do. He’d already done her the favor. It wasn’t like she _had_ to hold up her end of the bargain at this point. 

She was free.

As he began drying his hands with the towel, he realized he’d missed a spot on one of his knuckles where the blood had caked heavily into its creases. With a growl of frustration, he cranked the hot water back on. He shoved his fist under the blast of scalding water and clenched his jaw as he scoured at it roughly with the towel. 

What made him think he was fucking good enough to see her again, anyway? That his dirty hands were worthy of holding her tiny ones at the party Saturday night? He’d never held a woman's hand in his life; well, not if you counted pinning them to the mattress while he fucked her, which he didn’t. 

He’d never felt compelled to just reach out and _touch_ someone before. If he saw her again, he wasn’t sure he could keep his hands to himself. Now that he knew how soft she was, how pure… She didn’t deserve to be soiled by his touch, tainted by his filth. 

So he wouldn’t contact her and hope that she’d just forget all about it. She would just be Quincey’s editor, he would just be his bodyguard and at the very least, they would see each other in passing. At best, he’d be able to avoid her at all costs.

She’d be safer that way. Happier. 

Right?

And Tora? He would tuck their brief moments together in his pocket and pull them out on his darkest days, when he wanted to remember that her light existed somewhere, even if it would always be out of his reach. 

\---

After he finished in the bathroom, he heated up some leftover take out for dinner, then played video games for an hour. He took a nap on his couch and woke up to the sound of his phone beeping from the floor. 

_bobby, 1 New Message_

He blinked at the phone screen hard. Was he fucking dreaming?

He stabbed at the notification anxiously and sucked in a breath. 

_Still on for dinner tomorrow night? You never told me what you wanted to eat :)_

Holy shit.

She wanted him to come over. 

Tora set his phone back on the floor and rubbed his hands over his face. He’d just mentally prepared himself to let go of her not three hours ago and now here she was, asking him what he wanted for dinner. This was the last thing he expected; he never let himself think that she might want to see him as badly as he wanted to see her. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

How was he supposed to say no to this? He couldn’t and he was powerless to ignore her; he knew that much already. 

Fuck it. He _wanted_ this, more than anything. 

It was one dinner and it would be the last time he’d allow himself to see her. 

Then he’d get the hell out of her life. 

He picked up his phone again and typed out a reply.

_whatever you want’s fine sweetheart. wouldn’t miss it._

\---

“Oi, Quince!” Tora called out from the penthouse bathroom. 

His brother’s blonde head popped into the room. “Yes, Tiger Boy?”

“Ya got somethin’ in your make-up bag that will take care of this?” he asked, pointing at a long, unruly black curl that was sticking out on the top of his head. 

If this was the last time he was going to be alone with Poppy, everything had to be perfect. 

Quincey giggled and snorted at him. “Oh my god, what happened to you?! That is so _unfortunate._ Did you fall asleep with your hair wet again? You know how bad you look when you do that.”

Tora glared at him. “Not all of us blow dry our hair just to go get the mail, princess,” he grumbled. “Do ya have somethin’ or not?”

“Yes, honey, I have just the thing,” his brother answered and pushed past him to open the medicine cabinet. “I buy it straight from my stylist, he swears it’s the best-“ Quincey paused and turned to look at him, a sly smile on his face. 

“Wait a minute. You _never_ care about how your hair looks. Are you going to see a girl? Is it the girl from… Oh my god, does… does Tarzan have a date with Jane?!” Quincey squealed. 

Tora rolled his eyes hard. “Christ, it’s a meetin’. Business. S’all.”

“Mmmmhmmm,” Quincey hummed mockingly. 

“God damnit, Quinceton, are ya gonna give me the hair shit or not?” Tora huffed. 

“Ooooh no,” Quincey chirped as he tucked the product behind his back, “not until you tell me where you’re really going.”

Tora slammed the medicine cabinet shut and stomped out of the bathroom. “Fuck it,” he called out over his shoulder. “I’m goin’ downstairs to get my ball cap.”

As he stepped out the front door, he could distantly hear Quincey singing in the background.

_”Tarzan and Jane, swinging from a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”_

\--- 

At 5:15, Tora lowered himself into Aniki’s blue sports car. As much as he missed driving it, he knew that he couldn’t take his own red car to Poppy’s; he couldn’t risk anyone seeing it sitting outside of her apartment. 

He’d originally planned to take Quincey’s car but after driving it around that weekend, his brother decided to tell him it needed a tune up; he hadn’t had it serviced the entire time Tora was away. Tora had thumped Quincey on the back of the head and dropped it off at the shop, where they _still_ had it. Last time he was taking a car to a mechanic his brother recommended. _His_ guy would’ve had it done in two hours. 

Earlier that day, he’d run an errand on the south side of Ares Street and saw the well-known gigolo’s car parked outside of the bakery. The driver side door was unlocked and when he slipped inside, he saw the keys poking out of the ignition. What was the dumb fuck thinking? He was just asking to get car jacked. 

A pile of papers sitting on the dashboard caught his eye and curious, he quickly flipped through them. Notices for past due bills, parking fines, warning letters… the guy was a mess. Tora closed himself in the car and pulled out smoothly into the street. He’d make sure he left enough cash in the car to cover the bills when he returned it. 

\--- 

He pulled up outside of Poppy’s apartment building at 5:42. He hadn’t meant to be so early, but his foot had turned to lead on the gas pedal and he’d sped the whole way here. He couldn’t fucking wait to see her again. 

He swung himself out onto the pavement and did a quick scan of the parking lot. It had a security booth; that would have made him feel better if the douchebag sitting behind the window wasn’t playing on his cell phone. There was a metal gate at the front and concrete walls that bordered the lot, but they were low as shit, barely reaching his eyes. Almost anyone could get over them if they really wanted to. 

He frowned as he leaned against the hood of Aniki’s car and fired up a cigarette. 

Why couldn’t she live in a safer building? 

He pulled at his cigarette for a moment and then sent her a text. 

_i’m here. wanna let me in?_

\--- 

A couple of minutes later, Tora knocked on her door while his heart pounded in his chest. Finally, he’d get to talk to her alone like he wanted, get to see where she lived and then that would be it. It wasn’t enough, it never would be, but it was all he’d ever get and he’d have to learn to be okay with that. 

The sound of a lock unclicking reached his ears, the door swung inward and… there she was. 

His breath caught in his throat. 

Her brown hair hung in loose waves around her shoulders and she was wearing a low-cut red blouse with lipstick to match. She had on jeans that hugged her curvy hips just _right_ and her feet were bare. 

She was more fucking beautiful than he remembered. 

And she was staring at him like she did on Saturday night, right when he’d taken his shirt off. 

His heart raced in his chest. 

She stared at him unblinking for a moment longer and when he felt heat beginning to rise to his cheeks, he let out a laugh. “We havin’ dinner in the hallway, sweetheart?” 

She said nothing, just quickly shook her head and stepped aside so he could walk in. He ducked inside the doorway and toed off his shoes, then made sure to close and lock the door behind him. 

“You know, they just let any old riff raff in here,” she mumbled. “I had to make sure you were good.” 

He had to laugh at her. 

_Christ, why was she so stinkin’ cute?_

“I’m not good,” he teased, internally frowning at the truth behind his words, “I coulda saved you some time and told ya that. And aren’t you the one who had to buzz me in?” 

“Um… yeah.” 

He unzipped his hoodie and shrugged out of it, glancing around for a place to hang it up. “Honestly, ya really didn’t have to,” he said. “I coulda just climbed over. The walls are so fuckin’ low.” 

He mentally slapped himself. Why the fuck did he say that to her? Why couldn’t he just be… normal? 

She cocked her head at him. “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” 

Okay, maybe he could save this by making a joke out of it. “Just because I shouldn’t, doesn’t mean I _can’t.”_

“Hmmm,” was all she said back. 

Shit. 

“S’there a place ya want me to put my jacket?” he asked, hoping to distract her from the weird fucking comment he'd just made. 

She immediately perked up. “Oh sure! There’s a wall hook in… my bedroom,” she said in a rush and grabbed his hoodie from him. “I’ll put it up for you, just make yourself at home!” she squeaked and scampered off down the hall. 

He smirked. So she didn’t want him to see her bedroom. Embarrassed, maybe? 

So cute. 

He paused a moment and took this opportunity to look around her house. It was warm and bright, with knick knacks and artwork on every available shelf. There was a decal on one wall that read, _Why Be Moody When You Can Shake Yo Booty_ and he laughed. Such a dork. 

He stepped over to a bookshelf that housed dozens of books, all with their spines facing in. Huh. He went to take one from the shelf when he caught sight of a hanging plant out of the corner of his eye. 

He pushed the book back in and reached up to touch one of the green shoots; it was long and wavy and it reminded him of her hair. He smiled and wondered how it would feel to run his fingers through it. 

“It’s a zig zag cactus,” she said as she came up beside him. “They’re really easy to care for, but it’s rare for them to bloom. If it does, the flowers are soft pink and they open at night.” She reached up and stroked one of the plant’s leaves. “They only last one day, so you have to pay attention or you might miss it.” 

His heart wrenched painfully in his chest. He understood that feeling all too well; he already knew he was going to miss her. 

He smiled despite himself. “Has it ever bloomed for ya?” he asked hopefully. 

“Not yet,” she said on a sigh. “But I hope it will. I grew it from seeds and I’ve kept it healthy for years. I like to think it’ll reward me one day.” 

He hoped it would. “Fer such a stubborn lil’ shit, s’pretty cute,” he said and she giggled. Fucking _giggled_ at him. 

He looked down at her and then without thinking, pulled her hand away from the plant and grasped it in his own. This time, she let him hold it. 

As he interlaced their fingers, he heard a voice in his head scolding him for not keeping his paws to himself and then it was drowned out by another voice, a kinder, more curious one. 

_What does holding my hand feel like for her?_

All he knew was he’d never felt more at home than right here in this moment. 

He could see pink starting to spread across her cheeks. God, he'd never get tired of that.

She gently pulled her hand away from his and began to back away from him slowly. “I, um, I should… I s-should-“ 

“You should what?” 

“I should um, get our plates ready. Have a seat at the table! I’ll bring it out to you.” 

\--- 

“S’that?” he asked as she set a glass full of red liquid down in front of him. 

“Oh, that’s strawberry juice! It’s my favorite. Have you ever had it?” 

He didn’t really do anything sweet. “Can’t say I have.” 

“I know it’s no chocolate Russian, but I figured it would do,” she grinned at him. 

_She remembered his drink._

“Pfft. Didn’t even have one whole glass on Saturday night,” he said, raking a hand through his hair. “I only tried it ‘cuz the princess wouldn’t quit harpin’ on me to drink alcohol. Said I was spoilin’ my own party.” 

“Princess?” she asked. “And I didn’t know it was a party for you! Was it your birthday?” 

“Oh, I call Quincey ‘princess’ on account of he is one,” he chuckled. “And nah, not my birthday. I was…” Fuck. Why didn’t he just say it was his birthday? Dumbass. 

“Away fer awhile,” he continued, “and just got out- er, back on Friday. Kind of a welcome home thing, I guess.” He shrugged. 

_Smooth, Tiger. Real smooth._

His eyes darted around for a distraction and they landed on the glass of juice. He took a swig, prepared to be unimpressed and then he could feel his eyes widen. Kind of sweet, kind of tart. Holy shit, it was delicious. 

“What do you think?” she asked. 

“Damnit, that shit’s good,” he said and downed the rest of the glass. “Fuck. Wasn’t expectin’ ta like it,” he told her honestly. 

“Well, you can have as much as you want,” she said and stood up. “I’ll bring the carton in here. And a bar of soap.” 

Huh? 

“Bar of soap?” he asked. “The hell for?” 

“To wash your dirty mouth out,” she grinned. 

He was about to make the joke that he could show her how dirty his mouth could get, but she darted into the kitchen before he had the chance. 

\--- 

“Is something wrong?” she asked as she leaned over the table. 

He was staring hard at the bento bowl in front of him. She’d made a rice ball that looked like a tiger, with stripes, big eyes, long black hair. She’d only seen him one time before this and remembered that he had gauges; there was one black circle in each of the cat’s ears. 

He could feel warmth spread through his chest, his cheeks. She’d been studying him just as closely as he had her. 

His heart rattled against his ribs. 

“It’s a tiger,” he managed to get out. “With hair.” 

“Oh, that’s you! I thought it looked a bit like you, anyway. And I also made you some fishies and flowers because they reminded me of your tattoos.” She pointed to the little shapes she’d cut from tofu. She remembered his tattoos, huh? Thought about him shirtless? 

“Do you like it?” she asked. 

“It’s… fuckin’ adorable,” he rasped and pulled out his phone to take a picture. Fuck it. He didn’t care if Quincey knew he was out with a girl. He _had_ to show this to someone. Just so he could remember it was real and that one time in his life, someone had cared enough to make him a dinner like this. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Takin’ a picture of this damn tiger to send to Quincey…” 

“Oh no, please don’t!” she cried out and lunged across the table at him. 

What the fuck? 

“Why not?” he asked as he held his phone over his head. “What’s the big deal?” 

Suddenly she was halfway in his lap, her fingers curled tightly around the collar of his shirt. “It’s for your eyes only! If you want to send him a picture, I can make something else for you some other time, something better!” 

His eyebrows rose as her breasts pushed into his chest. He looked at her eyes, desperate to distract himself. “So ya already wanna have dinner with me again, huh?” he smirked. God, what he wouldn’t do to see her again. 

“What? No! I mean, er- yes, that would be fine. Just please don’t send him a picture of that tiger. The last thing I want is for him to make fun of you-“ 

She tried for the phone again; she angled herself just so and suddenly he could see straight down her shirt. Her breasts were so _full,_ they were spilling out of her bra and… 

His cock stiffened to life in his jeans and he forced himself to glance away. 

Jesus. 

“All right, kid, all right, just… _sit!_ If it means that much to ya, I won’t send it.” 

She sat back down on her cushion, her cheeks flushed with red. This wasn’t like the other times; there was something _wrong_ about the way she was feeling and he didn’t like seeing her upset. 

“Besides, Quincey wouldn’t make fun of me, he knows I’d beat his ass,” he joked, eager to put a smile back on her face. “He’d only be jealous ya didn’t make one fer him, too.” 

There it was, that pretty little smile. “Well, maybe I will someday,” she said and he prayed that she wouldn’t. He wanted to be the only one she ever made rice ball animals for. “Sorry I overreacted.” 

“S’okay,” he assured her and slipped his phone back into his pocket. He picked up the tiger. “How do I eat this thing?” 

“Oh, well, I usually like to eat it ears first,” she said brightly, the tension from earlier now gone. “Or head first, you know, if it has a body.” 

He blinked at her. That was… _not_ the answer he’d been expecting. This little woman was full of surprises. 

“Jesus. A little sadistic, ain’t ya?” he teased. 

Her face changed then; her eyes closed halfway and she stared him down intensely, like she was out for blood. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said in a low, even voice. 

He laughed at her. “Damn Bobby, yer almost as scary as me.” 

“I don’t think you’re so scary, Tora,” she said as she bit into a piece of broccoli. 

What? She didn’t? 

Maybe it would be better if she did. 

Tora set his rice ball back in the bowl and brushed his hands off on his jeans. Slowly, he slid off his pillow and scooted around the table until he was on her side, facing her. 

He placed his hands on either side of her on the floor and leaned in until he could feel her body heat and smell her shampoo. 

“How about now?” 


	4. Dinner - Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good lord, let me tell you I was heartbroken and swooning at the same time while I was writing this chapter. Pretty sure I held my breath the entire time! I love writing these two and even more than that, I love writing them for _you._
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> As always, thank you so so much for reading, commenting and being so supportive throughout this endeavor. I'm blessed with the best readers there are. 
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“But if I get too close  
Will the magic fade?  
Would I turn you off or away?  
If I pull you in  
Would I push you out  
Of something here you care about?  
I'm at a loss for what to do  
I'm drawn to you”  
-The Avett Brothers, “I Wish I Was”

\---

“How about now?” Tora asked against Poppy’s cheek. 

For a moment, she didn’t move, a wide-eyed deer in headlights. Then she did something that shocked the hell out of him. 

She brought her hand up, brushed a lock of his hair out of his eyes and tucked it behind his ear. 

His heart caught in his throat. He’d been touched by countless women before, but never his face, he didn’t allow it. And never so _intimately._

“You’re going to have to try harder than that,” she murmured. 

Poppy’s big brown eyes locked onto his, _daring_ him and he could feel his resolve breaking. They were so close, he could feel her warm breath on his mouth. He could kiss her, just lightly touch his lips to hers. It would be so easy. He cupped his hand around her cheek; he heard her breath hitch and her eyes slipped closed, her lips parted. 

Just one kiss. And by the look of things, she wanted it as much as he did. Just thinking about it was causing the front of his jeans to tighten. 

Jesus. What was this girl doing to him?

Tora leaned in and then paused. That was all it would take; one kiss and he’d be lost. He would never be able to let her go.

He had to. 

He sighed internally and removed his palm from her face, then pinched the apple of her cheek hard between two fingers. She cried out in surprise and her hand flew to her face. He eyes burst open. 

“Wha- what did you do that for?!” she yelled at him. 

In an attempt to mask his disappointment, he grinned widely at her. “You had a piece of rice on ya face, I was just gettin’ it off. Why? What did you think I was doing?” he asked, knowing the answer all too well.

“I- uh, well, not _that!”_ she shrieked and pushed her tiny hands against he broad chest. He didn’t budge. 

“You. _SIT,”_ she commanded, jabbing her finger at his side of the table. 

Shit, this was too fun. 

He grabbed her other cheek in his hand and pinched her again. “So squishy. Like a damn hamster or some shit.”

 _”Acck! Stop doing that!”_ she screeched and swatted at him wildly, cradling her abused cheek with her other hand. 

He laughed hard as he retreated back to his seat; she was so fucking cute and _feisty._

“Why would you call me a squishy hamster, anyway?” she huffed at him. “It’s not very nice.”

“How’s it not nice?” he asked. “Yer small and feisty and… goddamned _cute.”_

He really needed to stop talking before this went too far. 

She blinked those big eyes at him. 

“You… you think I’m cute?” she asked.

Shit.

He sighed. “Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” he mumbled and shoveled so many veggies into his mouth that he resembled a hamster himself.

\---

“So what’s the story with yer friends?” Tora asked as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. He’d eaten every single bite of his dinner; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a homecooked meal and she was a damn good cook. “Why’d ya want ‘em to think I was yer man?”

“Oh, _that,”_ she said. “Well, they harp on me a lot for not dating anyone. They have good intentions and I know their hearts are in the right place, but I just get tired of it, you know? I told them I was seeing someone so they’d get off my back for once.”

“Seein’ someone or seein’ _me?”_ he asked, anxious to hear her answer. 

“Um…” she looked down at her lap. “Just seeing someone.”

Pfft. She wasn’t a very good liar. 

He could feel his chest swelling. “And ya thought of _me.”_ he said.

She met his eyes. “Well, I tried calling Kane first but it went straight to his voicemail. That guy never charges his phone.”

White hot anger sizzled behind his eyes and he crossed his arms over his chest. Of course, it always came back down to that motherfucker. First he’d taken his brother Goliath away, then he was working on his brother Quincey. Now the girl Tora liked? 

Did she like Kane? Did he take her out on dates while he was locked up? Did he touch her, hold her, kiss her? Fucking god damnit all to hell. One way or another, he was going to kill him. 

_”Kane?”_ he spat, his name leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. “That little prick? Listen to me, sweetheart. You need to stay the _fuck_ away from Kane.”

For her own safety. And because she belonged with _him._

Fuck. Thoughts like that were going to get him in trouble and even worse, get _her_ in trouble. What the hell was he even doing here?

“What? Why?” she asked, her hands balled into fists on the table. “What’s wrong with him?”

Christ, where did he begin?

“Let’s just say we don’t see eye to eye,” he said. “S’all I can tell ya.”

There was a long pause as the air crackled between them. Maybe he should just leave. 

“Well, can _anyone_ see eye to eye with you, Mr. Six Foot Three?” she finally said and he could feel himself soften at her joke. He dropped his arms to his sides and he rounded the table, then squatted down beside her. 

He held his hand out to her. “C’mon, go relax, put yer feet up. I’ll clean the dishes.” 

She smiled brightly at him, took his hand and he knew he was forgiven. “Okay,” she said as she stood up. “But I’m going to help you.”

“No, yer not. Ya cooked, go sit yer cute ass down.”

“Would you stop bossing me around?” she said and smacked at his chest. “I can do what I want.”

Pfft. So. Feisty. 

He could be feisty, too. 

“I’ll give ya somethin’ to do…” he said, excited for her reaction. 

She did not disappoint. “Oh my god, Tora!” she hollered at him. “Fine! But I’m not just going to go plop down on the couch,” she huffed. “At least let me make us some green tea for afterwards.”

His heart thudded hard in his chest. 

Afterwards?

“Not ready for me ta leave yet, huh?” 

“No,” she smiled at him. “Not yet.”

\---

They chatted lightly as they stood side by side at the kitchen sink. Something about being there with her in that tiny room, doing something so domestic and _normal_ made him feel… warm. Why could he see himself doing this every night with her?

After awhile, she went quiet and he peered over at her. She was watching his hands in the water as they worked and he smiled to himself. He liked it when she looked at him. 

“S’on yer mind?” he asked softly.

“Um… well, you’re just so… _gentle,”_ she said. 

Gentle, huh?

“Hmmpf. Not a word anyone’s used ta describe me before,” he told her. 

“Well, it’s just… um, your hands…” she trailed off and a blush crept slowly over the apples of her cheeks.

Oh, this was going to be good. “Go on,” he smirked. 

“Well, your hands are just so… big,” she squeaked. 

It was too easy. “Ain’t the only thing ‘bout me that’s big,” he said in a low voice. 

Poppy’s cheeks turned as red as the strawberry juice they’d had with dinner. “Oh my god, Tora! Forget it, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

He laughed. “I’m just teasin’ ya, Bobby. I’ll stop. What about my hands?”

“I just couldn’t help but notice how gentle you are with them,” she said quickly. “I’m so clumsy, I break dishes all the time. But you… you handle the glasses so carefully. You know your own strength and it’s… nice. Watching you.”

He thought it was nice when she watched him, too. “Had to learn how to be careful with ‘em,” he told her. “Started washin’ dishes for Alice when I was 13 and if I broke one, she took it outta my paycheck.”

She cocked her head at him. “Alice?”

“Cranky old lady I worked for growin’ up. She kinda helped look after me, kept me outta trouble. She runs a lil’ sushi place a few blocks down from The Black Swan. I can take ya there sometime… if you want,” he said and then mentally scolded himself. 

What the fuck was he thinking? He was supposed to be getting out of here, not asking her out on another date. To meet _Alice,_ of all people. That old bat would never let him live it down.

“I’d like that,” she said and his head snapped up. 

She would?

Shit.

\---

After he’d washed the last dish, Poppy asked how he took his tea and then shooed Tora out of the kitchen. She ordered him to take a seat on the couch and she would bring everything out. 

He’d sat on the sofa for all of two seconds when his gaze settled on her glass patio door. Curious, he crossed the room and opened it. The pitter patter sound of rain flooded his ears as he stepped out onto the balcony. He inspected the lock and frowned; Weslock 671, one of the cheapest, easiest locks on the market to pick. That didn’t make him feel great. 

He then turned his attention to the wood railing. He wrapped a hand around the top rail and attempted to wiggle it. It was old and splintered but held firmly in place. He glanced down at the parking lot. She was only four floors up. Not high enough to deter anyone who was serious about getting inside. And if he knew Kane as well as he thought he did, he’d do anything to get to her if it meant hurting Tora.

Suddenly her voice spoke up from behind him. “It’s nice, isn’t it?” she asked. “The sound of the rain, the _smell._ It’s one of my favorite things.”

He looked over his shoulder at her. She was too relaxed around him and standing out here on her sitting duck of a balcony made him realize he couldn’t have that. Maybe he could scare her just enough to ward her away from him. Maybe it would force her to take her safety a little more seriously.

“Yeah, s’great. And so are ya chances of a break-in.”

Her head snapped up at him. “H-huh?” she asked and he noted a slight quiver in her voice. “I don’t know why you’re telling me this…”

“Just four stories high, railin’s old, but still holdin’ up well… I woulda scaled this building in thirty seconds.” He hooked a finger back at the door. “Picked that lock in ten.”

Instantly tears sprang to her eyes and he hated himself for it. What a great last impression. She’d always remember him as the guy who told her how he’d break into her goddamned house. 

Fuck his life. Fuck everything about it. 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t see what this has to do with anything…” she trailed off and then a light came on inside her muddy brown eyes. “Oh. _Oh._ You work in private security, right? You must take your job pretty seriously,” she said in a more lighthearted tone and pointed her finger at him. 

The hell? “What? Poppy, certain people have seen ya with m-“ 

He paused as his eyes locked onto her trembling hand. Shit. He was scaring her to death and here she was, trying to move past it. He sighed heavily. He hated seeing her upset. 

Tora gently wrapped his hand around hers and cradled it to his chest. “Uh, yeah. Yeah. Somethin’ like that.” He paused; even engulfed in his fist, he could feel her fingers twitching. He didn’t deserve to be here with her any longer. He knew he was already standing here on borrowed time and the last thing he wanted to do was watch her fall apart because of him. 

“It’s gettin’ late,” he said. “I can head out now if ya want.”

She smiled up at him and his heart shattered. “Don’t be silly,” she said and wiped her tears with her free hand. “Come on, let’s head in. Our tea is getting cold.”

She tugged at his hand and he thought she meant to pull it out of his grip, but her fingers curled through the spaces between his and she led him inside. Once he’d cleared the doorway, he went to slide the door closed behind him. He stopped when he felt a tap on his arm. 

“Ah, leave it open?” He glared at her and she laughed. “No one’s going to break in, okay? And if they do, I know they’re not getting far with you around.”

He could feel his eyes widen. She trusted him. She trusted _him._ He smiled at her and released his hand from the door. “Damn right,” he said. “Balcony burglary’s on the rise though, Bobby. S’all over the news. Don’t be leavin’ this door open at night. Just… get better locks and install grilles if ya can.”

She finally withdrew her hand from his and saluted him with it. “Yes sir, whatever you say.”

He chuckled at her. Such a goof.

She settled herself down on the far side of the couch and slid one of the tea mugs to the center of the coffee table. He wanted to sit next to her, but then thought better of it. He’d been breaking enough of the rules he’d set for himself tonight and needed to keep his distance. He grabbed the mug and planted himself on the far opposite cushion, leaving the middle one open and he thought he heard her huff. 

They quietly sipped at their green tea and listened to the water fall outside. It was… calming. Peaceful. He could get used to this. But he wouldn’t; he'd never allow himself.

“So how do you know Quincey?” she asked. 

“Uh, guess he’s sorta my brother,” he replied. No way was he about to tell her anything else about what Quincey was to him. 

She giggled. “What do you mean, you _guess?_ Don’t you know?”

“His old man took me in when I was five,” he explained, sticking only to the facts. “Been around him my whole life.”

“Oh. Well, it seems like he cares a lot for you. At least, enough to throw you a welcome home party. He talked about his brother a couple of times, but he never told me your name.”

“Hmmpf,” he said, surprised Quincey hadn’t told her more than that. He was such a loudmouth. “Yeah. He can be a real pain in the ass, but he’s one of my closest friends.” He threw her a sharp look. “Don’t tell the princess I said that.” 

But maybe… maybe he should tell Quincey himself. Had he ever?

She giggled again. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

They pulled at their tea for a few more silent moments before he noticed that she was watching his hands again. God, he liked being in her sights so much. He wanted to run his hands across her face, over her eyes, her lips, through her hair. He wanted to show her just how gentle he could be, how much he cared about her. 

His breath seized in his throat when he felt her slide onto the cushion next to him. 

“Hey, Tora?” she asked quietly. 

He set his mug down and looked at her, unsure if he was ready for what she was about to say next. 

“Um, when you told my friends I looked like a… _goddamned angel…”_ she whispered, “did you mean it?”

“Jesus, Bobby,” he breathed. 

_Did she really not know how beautiful she was?_

“Just look into your damn mirror and tell me who wouldn’t think so.”

Before he knew what was happening, her hands were gripping the collar of his shirt. She pulled him in, pressed her mouth to his and he was lost.


	5. Dinner - Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand it's a two chapter kinda day. It's one of my favorite scenes from Stages, told from the point of view of one of my favorite men. How could it be helped? :) 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Thanks so much for being here <3<3
> 
> Love you all and see you soon!
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“I don't know how or why  
Or who am I that I should get to hold you?  
But when I saw you all alone against the sky  
It's like I'd known you all along

I knew you before we met  
And I don't even know you yet  
All I know is you're someone I have always known”

-“All I’ve Ever Known” performed by Eva Noblezada and Reeve Carney  
-from _Hadestown,_ written by Anais Mitchell

\---

Tora couldn’t move. 

He couldn’t close his eyes or melt into the kiss Poppy had suddenly thrust on him. As much as he’d wanted to since the first moment he saw her, he never expected he’d _actually_ get to kiss her. And now that it was happening… 

Fuck. 

She wasn’t even aware of what she’d done. The moment she’d sealed her mouth over his, she’d also sealed her fate. She would be a target for Kane, for anyone else who might have it out for Tora. Now that this was happening, now he knew how much she wanted him _back,_ he knew he’d never leave her side. 

The only way he was going anywhere was if she made him. 

Slowly, one of her big brown eyes opened and stared into his own. She quickly pulled her mouth from him and shuttered her hands over her face. “Uh, um- Oh, God. I’m sorry,” she sputtered. “I’m _so_ sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped you like that. I just- I thought…”

At first, her words confused him. Why was she sorry? This was the best thing that _ever_ happened to him. Then he remembered he didn’t kiss her back; he’d just frozen in place and she’d taken it as rejection. 

Christ. 

He curled his fingers around her tiny wrists and gently pulled them from her face. “Poppy,” he whispered, desperately racking his brain for the words that would make her understand how much he cared about her already. But they didn’t come. There were none. 

Tora would show her instead. 

He framed her face in his giant hands and drew her into him. This time he closed his eyes and moved his mouth against hers. 

_Sweet._

Everything about her was sweet. Faintly, he could taste the lingering sugar from the strawberry juice she’d drank and then the slightest bitterness of green tea sweetened with honey. 

He needed more. 

He moved one hand to the back of her head and pulled her in deeper. She sighed into his mouth, _sighed_ and his tongue darted out, desperately seeking hers. She met it eagerly and he could feel himself instantly grow hard as their hot, wet tongues slicked together. 

Jesus fuck. 

This could be dangerous. He’d have to control himself or else he wouldn’t be able to stop. He didn’t want her thinking that the only reason he’d come over here was to get into her pants. 

But then Poppy threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in until her body was flush against his. He couldn’t help it; he fucking _moaned_ at the feeling of her breasts crushed into his chest. He slid his hands over her sides and around her back, where he traced the path of her spine. She shivered under his touch and he was undone. 

Tora pushed forward until she was flat on her back on the couch and he stretched his long body over hers. Where his mouth had failed to form words before, it succeeded in conveying how he felt for her with hungry, intense kisses. He kissed her so hard, so deep that she pulled her mouth away and began to pant and gasp in his ear.

_Fuck._

He continued to ravage her mouth and then her hands were in his hair; she gripped the lid of his ball cap and flung it to the side. He didn’t forget about his bad hair day; he just didn’t give a shit. As her palms moved over his scalp, he didn’t care if she ran her fingers through his hair, if she pulled it or ripped it out. 

She could do _whatever_ she wanted to him. 

He balanced his weight on his right elbow and used his other hand to explore the curves of her body; the arc of her breast, her side, the swell of her hip. 

Fuck, she was perfect. 

He slipped his arm behind her lower back and hugged her to him; he needed to be closer. Being on top of her, pressing hard into her soft body made his cock twitch in his pants and he thrust against her leg involuntarily, desperately seeking friction. 

Shit, you’d think he’d never done this before. 

He waited for her to pull away, to tell him this was going too fast or too far, but she didn’t. Instead, her hips rocked into his and he gasped. At her response, he shifted until he was settled between her legs and pressed his length into her pussy as hard as he could. 

She moaned in his ear and he swore it was the sexiest thing he’d ever heard. His lips found hers again as he continued to thrust into her. His cock was straining hard against his jeans and every time it hit her center, jolts of pleasure crackled through his body and sparked behind his eyes. 

For a moment, he imagined how good it would feel to fuck her for real. If it ever reached that point, anyway. He’d wait as long as she wanted, touch her however she wanted. He’d only known her for a couple of days, but fuck if there wasn’t much he _wouldn’t_ do for her, this tiny little woman who was writhing and gasping beneath him. 

Her pelvis met his thrust for thrust and his head reeled. He needed more, needed to feel her bare skin. He slipped his hand under her shirt, then tugged the cup of her bra down. He spread his palm over her breast and marveled at the size of it; he could barely hold it all in his hand. It was so soft and full and _warm._

Tora’s hand came to a point on her nipple and when he rolled it between his fingers, she cried out in pleasure. He watched her face as he did it a second time; her eyes screwed shut, her eyebrows furrowed, her lips curled up in a smile as she cried out again. 

Jesus. 

He fitted his mouth back over hers and suddenly she stopped responding to him. His brain told him to stop kissing her, but his body was currently the one in control and it defiantly urged him to continue. 

“Um, Tora?” he distantly heard her say. 

“Mmm?” he moaned against her lips.

“Um, I just wanted to put it out there… I don’t think- I’m not ready for sex.”

Honestly, this made him feel better. Now the line was drawn. He gazed down into her eyes, big and brown and wide with concern. He slipped his hand out from her shirt and let it rest on her side. 

“S’fine,” he assured her. “Not what I came here for, anyway.” And he meant it. He was lucky she’d even let him inside her house and he was prepared to go as slow as she needed. He didn’t come over here to see her naked. He just wanted to see _her._

Instantly Tora felt her relax under him. “Really?” she asked.

“’Course,” he replied. “I’m not about to make ya do somethin’ you don’t want to.”

“Okay, good.” She paused. “Why- why did you come?”

Christ, there were so many possible answers to that question. He was curious about her, not only as a woman he was attracted to, but the life she led that was so different from his. He wanted to tease her, know where she lived, what her house looked like on the inside. He wanted to leave a mark in her memory, the way she’d branded herself in his. He wanted to share food with her, share stories with her. 

He wanted _her_ and anything she was willing to give him. 

“Simple,” he said at last, even though the real answer was anything but. “I wanted ta see you again.” He mimicked her gesture from earlier and tucked a long lock of hair behind her ear. 

“Couldn’t stay away, huh?” she smiled as she tossed his own words back at him. 

Cutie.

“Nope. Second I saw ya, I was a goner,” he told her truthfully. 

She giggled. “The big bad thug defeated by a squishy little hamster.”

She had no idea how right she was.

“Hmmpf. Somethin’ like that,” he said and smiled brightly at her. 

Poppy licked her lips and his eyes zeroed in on them. “Um, so… I don’t want to have sex, _but…_ can we still make out for awhile?”

He laughed at her; he was still rock fucking hard and pinning her into the couch. What did she think? “Sure, Bobby. I was hopin’ we weren’t done, anyway.”

Tora lowered his head to hers and kissed her deeply. Soon they were back to thrusting hard against one another and gasping at the feeling of their lower bodies meeting. She was panting in his ear again and the sweet little sounds were driving him _crazy._ He needed to feel closer to her, needed more of her warmth. 

His hand twitched down to the waistband of her pants and he had just enough control to look up at her and ask if it was okay. 

She nodded and he eagerly unbuttoned her jeans. He let his fingers roam over her pussy and rub at her drenched slit through her underwear. Her lips buzzed against his as she hummed with pleasure and he smiled like an idiot. Fuck, the things this girl was doing to him. And even more than that, knowing the things he was doing to _her…_

“Tora?”

His head snapped up and his hand paused over her mound. “S’matter? Too much?”

“No. I… I lied to you. Before.”

“’Bout what?”

“About calling Kane.”

 _Fuck._ His name was the last thing Tora wanted to hear out of her mouth while he had his hand down her pants. He withdrew his fingers and rested his hand on her side. 

He sighed heavily. “Do we hafta talk about that fuck right now?”

“I just… I wanted you to know that you were the first one I wanted to call. The _only_ one I wanted to call.”

His heart fucking soared at her confession. She’d wanted him, _only_ him, all along. 

“Mmm. Thanks fer tellin’ me. Wasn’t too keen on hearin’ I was his runner up.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“S’okay,” he said and kissed her. “Now shhh.”

He kissed her again and let her tongue explore every corner of his mouth. His hand retreated under her pants and he traced a finger over her pussy. He flicked his fingertip up and when he found her clit, she moaned low and sweet and her hips bucked against him. 

_Fuuuck._ He could do this all day, as long as she wanted. 

His fingers were toying with the waistband of her panties when he heard her voice say his name again. 

“Tora?”

He didn’t mean to get frustrated, but there wasn’t enough blood in his head to keep him thinking straight. He pulled his hand out from her pants and sat up. He adjusted his cock in his jeans and then leaned back into the cushions. He just wanted to make her feel good, damnit. 

“You talk this much every time someone is tryin’ to kiss on ya?” he asked and immediately regretted it as she sat up and tucked her knees into herself. 

“No. Sorry. I just… Why didn’t you text me? Or call? After Sunday. You sounded so eager to have dinner with me and then… nothing.”

Tora looked away from her and out the window at the rain. Shit. Another question he couldn’t give the whole answer to. It’s not like he could say, “Wanted ta stay away from you to protect ya from Kane. Also, did ya know we’re in the mafia and we’ve killed people?”

He thought carefully about his answer before finally turning back around to face her. “I… I didn’t wanna pressure ya,” he said, which was part of the truth. “I thought if you were serious about wantin’ ta see me again, ya’d let me know. Ball in your court, remember?”

She nodded. 

“I woulda talked to yer friends for nothin’, but you insisted on a favor. Made me fuckin’ hopeful that you actually meant it.”

“But… I did want to see you again,” she told him. “It’s why I called you in the first place.”

He shrugged. He already knew it by now, but it felt good to hear her say it. “Didn’t know that at the time. Shocked the hell outta me when I saw ya callin’,” he admitted. “Took me awhile before I could pick up the phone.”

She tilted her head at him. “You’re not as cocky as you pretend to be, are you?”

Damnit, she made it too easy. He smirked at her. “I’ll give you cock-“

“Oh my god. Tora!” she cried out and lunged at him. He shifted her hips around until she was straddling him.

“Anythin’ else you want to say?” he asked as he gazed up at her. Her hair was tousled from rubbing into the couch and her eyes were heavy with lust, her lips plump from his kisses. She was goddamn irresistible and he wasn’t through with her yet. 

“Nope,” she said and squirmed against his groin until his swollen cock was nudged between her legs. 

“Good,” he smiled. “I can’t kiss ya properly when yer doin’ all that talkin’.”

\---

“Be right back,” Poppy said later as she pushed herself from the couch. “I’m just going to use the restroom.”

“I’ll be here,” Tora said, flopping onto his back and stretching out as far as the sofa would allow. He grabbed his hat from the floor and plunked it over his face. 

Shortly after she headed down the hall, he found himself grinning under his cap as he thought about what they’d just done. 

Once she was in his lap and kissing him again, she started rocking her pelvis against his and rode him _hard._ Even though they ached, he thrust his hips up into her until she was mewling and crying out. 

But a handful of moments into riding him, she stilled her movements. 

He looked at her in confusion and then he noticed her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. 

“You can… take my top off,” she blushed. “If you want.”

Oh, he want. She was crazy if she thought he didn’t.

He slipped his hands beneath her shirt and drew it over her head, then flung it to the floor. His hands went for the hook of her lacy bra but she stopped him. 

“Just my top this time,” she’d said and he didn’t even feel disappointed. There was going to be a _next_ time?

He’d kissed her then and moaned as her hips once again began to build a rocking rhythm against him. He bent his head and brushed his lips over the tops of her breasts; they were spilling so invitingly out of her bra and bouncing so _hard_ with her movements that he’d almost come in his pants right then and there. 

Tora’s hand twitched down to his still rigid cock. He needed relief; probably have to jerk off tonight when he got home. 

He stood up from the couch and pulled his hat on, prepared for her to tell him to leave when she came back out. It was late and she probably had work in the morning, like most normal people. 

He walked over to the balcony door and was halfway into sliding it shut for her when he heard her voice. 

“What happened to leaving it open?” she asked. 

He sighed. She was going to go to bed soon; she had to be tired and he didn’t want her to forget to close it. “Bobby…”

“You’re not leaving, are you?” she asked and wrapped her arms around herself. 

Shit. He wasn’t going anywhere if she didn’t want him to. 

He sighed. “Nah, not yet. If ya want me to stay, I’ll stick around a bit longer.”

A smile replaced the frown on her lips and her arms dropped to her sides. “Good. As long as you’re here, it’s staying open,” she said and pulled the door all the way back open. He internally rolled his eyes; he _hated_ open doors. You never knew who would come bursting through them and you couldn’t hear it when they did.

“Will you… lay with me on the couch? And listen to the rain? Just for a little while.”

His eyes widened. She wanted him to just… lay there? Let him hold her?

“Sure, Bobby. Whatever ya want.”

Tora settled down on the couch first, then she curled up on his side and sprawled her upper body across his. It was strange, foreign to him; he wasn’t used to having something on his chest that wasn’t anger, pain or aching. That wasn’t an unwanted grope from a strange woman or a punch he’d failed to dodge while out on a job.

Or the weight of a body that he was dragging away. 

This was innocent, pure. This was _cuddling_ and it felt more intimate and personal than any sex he’d ever had. 

He… liked it. 

“Tora?” she yawned.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” he rasped out. 

“I’m glad we met.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and tightened his arms around her. A few minutes later, her breathing grew deeper, her head was heavier and he knew she’d fallen asleep.

\---

Tora held her for an hour, listening to her deep breathing and the peaceful thrumming of the rain. He wanted to fall asleep with her and share in that closeness for the first time, but he couldn’t. The balcony door being open made anxiety drum in the back of his mind. 

He could see Kane snarling at him over the railing, his dark eyes fixed on Poppy. He shuddered and gripped her tighter. He needed to get going; he’d do a quick drive by Kane’s place before he went home and make sure he was staying put.

It was midnight when he reluctantly decided to wake her with a soft whisper in her ear. 

“Bobby?”

“Mmm?” she mumbled back and lifted her head to look at him. 

“It’s pretty late, I’m gonna head home. Ya gotta work in the morning, right?”

“Mmm, I quit. Let’s just stay here like this forever. Right like this,” she said and buried her face in his chest. 

He chuckled, warmed by the thought that she didn’t want him to leave. “We’ll do this again, promise,” he said and sealed it with a kiss on the crown of her head. “C’mon kid, ya gotta lock up behind me.”

She grumbled at him but sat up and stretched before standing. Once he was able, he stood and made a beeline for the balcony door. 

She laughed at him as he smirked and then gripped the handle with both fists and slowly, dramatically drew it closed. “Oh no, please, you do the honors.”

Tora locked it with a flourish and gave her a small bow. 

She reached out her hand to him and he took it. She walked him to the front door and he tugged on his shoes as she unlocked the deadbolt. When he straightened, he pulled her into his chest and held her there quietly. Why was this so fucking hard?

He kissed the top of her head, her forehead, her lips and then looked down into her sleepy eyes. “Thanks for dinner, Bobby,” he smiled softly at her.

She stood on her little tiptoes and strained upwards to press another kiss to his lips. “Anytime.”

Tora opened the door and then turned to her as he gestured at the deadbolt. “I mean it, don’t forget to lock up behind me.”

He made it one step into the hallway when he felt her hand on his arm. He stopped and faced her.

“Tora… will you…” she trailed off.

 _Anything._

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Will you call? Or text me? It’s just- last time you didn’t and…”

Last time, he’d been determined to stay away. And now? Now he knew it was impossible.

“Hey,” he said and her eyes flickered to his.

“Try’n stop me.”

\---

At 12:30, Tora arrived at his apartment after cruising past Kane’s complex; his car was parked in the lot and his unit’s lights were out. Fucker must've been sleeping, though Tora wasn’t sure how he was able to, after everything he’d done.

He stripped down to his boxers and flopped onto his couch. He pulled out his phone and typed a quick message to Poppy to show her he was determined to make good on his promise.

_sleep tight, sweetheart._

A handful of seconds later, his phone lit up with her response.

_Sweet dreams, Tiger._


	6. Pride and Plants - Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one ended up being so long that I decided to break it up into two chapters! As I go back through Stages, I find opportunities to fill in scenes that I may have glossed over originally. I think it provides a little more insight while spicing up and differentiating the same story that's being told from Tora's point of view. Plus, writing these two's interactions is just way too easy and fun :) They seriously don't shut up in my brain, which is such a testament to the wonders of Lily's writing and ability to develop complex characters. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and the next one when it updates... a little more smut never hurt anyone, right? ;)
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and being here with your endless support and kind words! It truly means everything to me and has gotten me through some of my darkest days <3
> 
> Love you all and see you soon!
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“In the morning when I wake  
And the sun is coming through,  
Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,  
And you fill my head with you”  
-The Paper Kites, “Bloom”

\---

Just like everything else that she touched, Tora’s life with Poppy in it was sweet. 

The next two weeks were the best of his life by far. Nearly every morning he awoke to a text from her calling him handsome and asking how he slept or what his plans were for that day. The first time it happened, he was thrown for a damn loop. Nobody’d ever asked him that before and _meant_ it. At most, Quincey did, but it was only a segue into him talking about himself and his own damn day. Nobody gave a shit until her. It was new and exciting and… _nice._

Tora tried to call her every day if he could; he liked listening to the sound of her voice. It was bubbly, light and so animated that he could _hear_ her blush through the phone when he flustered her on purpose. 

He spent most of his evenings at her house, eating dinner and watching movies with her, teasing her, touching her, holding and kissing her. Not every night, but a majority of them ended with them fooling around on her couch, her floor and eventually her bed. 

It was a week after that first dinner when Poppy finally decided to show him her bedroom and her face was as red as a ripe strawberry. She’d scurried into the room right before him and he saw her stoop to pick up clothes from the floor, then shove a giant gray stuffed animal and a book into her closet. When she shut the closet doors and spun around to look at him, she wore a nervous smile on her face. 

“Well… this is my room,” she squeaked. 

He chuckled at her and let his eyes soak it in. Blush pink comforter with frills on the edges. Fairy lights and pastel colored paintings of owls, cityscapes and plants hung on the walls and cute little knick knacks decorated the top of her dresser. His gaze settled on the wall hook adjacent to her closet; a polka-dotted raincoat, a fuzzy pink robe with bunny ears on the hood and… his sweatshirt.

Had she worn it yet? It was the whole reason he’d left it there. 

“S’cute,” he said at last and stretched himself out on her bed; his feet hung just over the end of it. “Bed’s comfy.” He smirked at her. 

Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned a shade of red he had yet to see on her. “Mmmhmm, yup. It’s a pillowtop… queen-size,” she said, her words coming out in a rush. “Ironically I got it from Mattress King. They were having a huge sale and I almost got the full-size, because, you know, it was just me, but for the price, it made more sense to-“

He laughed. Damnit if she wasn’t the cutest thing on two legs. 

“Bobby.”

She stopped and met his eyes. 

“Relax, sweetheart. Don’t want ya to be uncomfortable. We can go hang out in the livin’ room, s’fine.” As he went to push himself up from the bed, he was stopped by her hands on his legs. 

The mattress slightly shifted under him as she came onto the bed on all fours. She was staring at him… _hard,_ her eyes dark in the soft lighting. 

“No, let’s stay,” she said and crawled up the length of his body until she was straddling him. The next thing he knew, her hands were in his hair and her lips were pressed firmly against his. She took complete control with her tongue, her hands. She explored his mouth thoroughly and rocked herself against his hips until his cock was throbbing behind his jeans. 

Just when he thought he couldn’t take anymore, she pulled her shirt off, followed by her bra and his eyes nearly fell out of his head.

Poppy took hold of one of his hands then and placed it over her breast. Christ, they were so _big_ and soft, creamy and white against his olive skin. 

He wondered if they tasted as perfect as they looked.

He squeezed lightly and suddenly, the blush returned to her cheeks at full power and she looked away from him, biting at her lip.

She was uncomfortable again. He couldn’t have that. If she wasn’t enjoying herself, they had to stop. 

He removed his hand from her breast and pushed himself up into a sitting position. He wrapped his arms around her bare back and held her close. “We don’t gotta do this if ya ain’t ready,” he said into her ear. Almost instantly he felt her body relax in his embrace. “S’okay if yer shy and ya don’t want to, but I’m gonna tell you somethin’ and I mean it, kay?”

She nodded into his shoulder. 

“You don’t have anythin’ to be embarrassed about,” he murmured and hugged her tighter. “Yer the most… _beautiful_ woman I’ve ever seen in my whole fuckin’ life. I love how ya look, Poppy. Every part of ya. Okay?”

She mumbled something that he couldn’t quite hear. 

“S’that?” he asked. 

She pulled her head back and looked into his eyes. “Poppylan. My real name is Poppylan. But it’s kind of… weird, so I just go by Poppy.”

He smiled and ran a thumb over her cheek. “I like it.”

She smiled back. “You do?”

“Yeah. S’pretty.”

Just like everything else about her. 

She’d slid off his lap then and settled herself on the mattress, flat on her back, her naked breasts on full display. She reached a hand up to his arm and began to try to pull him down on top of her. 

“Poppy, really, s’fine,” he said, his voice hoarse at the sight of her.

“No… I want you to.”

Tora swallowed. “Ya sure?”

She nodded and tugged at him again. 

He’d stretched the length of his long body over her and kissed her until she was breathless, then peppered her neck with his lips, her collarbone, the valley between her breasts. He’d gently kneaded them in his palms first, marveling at the size and weight of them. He pinched at her nipples lightly and she let out a gasp, then thrust her hips into his leg. 

He smiled, continued to touch her for a few more moments, then covered one nipple with his mouth. Her whole body arched into him and she cried out, which caused the last of his hesitation to dissolve. He gently sucked, nipped and bit at her until she was sobbing and begging him for more. He’d forced himself to pull away from her then; if they kept going, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop. 

Poppy had been frustrated with him at first and then later, after they’d calmed down, she thanked him for being responsible and not letting them get carried away. 

“I like you… a lot,” she admitted. “But I’m still not ready for _that.”_

“I like ya too, kid,” he’d told her. “Take yer time. I’ll be ready whenever you are.”

For her, he’d wait forever.

\---

Tuesday, two weeks later, found him and Poppy sharing a pillow and laying across from each other on her living room floor. She’d offered several times to visit him at his home or to fix him dinner there, but he always shot her down when she asked, making up excuses about his landlord and repairs. 

His ugly, dark, _sad_ apartment was no place for someone like her and he’d keep her away from it as long as he could. 

Then she started asking what happened to his blue car. He’d only driven it to her house twice before returning it to Aniki with a stack of cash inside; he didn’t want to keep the car from him too long and he also didn’t want anyone who might be watching Poppy’s apartment to notice a pattern. 

So he drove Quincey’s car to her a couple of times and then his brother needed it back or rather _Kane_ needed to borrow it because his own car was in the shop. This pissed Tora off to no end and he had Ronzo scour Craigslist until he found an old beater for sale. He paid $1,500 in cash and that was what he continued to drive to her apartment. 

He paused the game he was playing on his phone and stole a quick glance at her. Her nose was buried deep in one of Quincey’s pervy books and he smiled to himself. As they’d settled themselves on the floor and she pulled the book from her shelf, he couldn’t help but tease her for it. 

Poppy’s cheeks flushed bright pink. “I’m his editor!” she’d shrieked. “It’s for… research purposes!”

Tora laughed at her and tapped open the game app on his phone. “Whatever ya say, sweetheart. If you get turned on, ya know where to find me.”

Of course, he knew not all her books were porny. He found that out when he dropped by her apartment unannounced one evening. He’d had a hell of a day, between running errands for Quincey, a pain in the ass clan gathering and disposing of one particularly nasty body for Vincent and he just… needed to see her. 

Poppy had taken one look at his face and tugged him inside. She made him a mug of hot tea and then he’d stretched out on the sofa with his head cradled in her lap. She absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair and then he saw her pick up a book that was propped open on the armrest. 

“Did I interrupt ya readin’?” he asked. 

“Yeah, but I don’t mind,” she told him. “I was just going to get back into it, if that’s okay. You seem like you’ve had a rough day and could maybe use some quiet.”

“Would ya read to me?” he asked. 

She looked down at him and smiled. “Really?”

“Yeah, I like listenin’ to ya.”

“Okay,” she said and lifted the book to her face. What did the cover say? Pride ‘n Portugal or somethin’?

“’Have you any other objection,’ said Elizabeth, ‘than your belief of my indifference?’” she read. 

“’None at all. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.’”

“’I do, I do like him,’ she replied, with tears in her eyes, ‘I love him. Indeed he has no improper pride. He is perfectly amiable. You do not know what he really is; then pray do not pain me by speaking of him in such terms.’”

Tora’s eyebrows furrowed. The hell kind of language was she reading? And who were they talking about?

“’Lizzy,’ said her father…”

“Who the hell’s this unpleasant man they’re talkin’ about, Pops?” he interrupted her. 

She giggled. “Mr. Darcy. You really don’t like him in the beginning; he comes off as arrogant and prideful. But then he falls in love with Elizabeth and you see him for who he truly is. He’s… wonderful,” she sighed. “Actually, he kind of reminds me of you.”

He shifted his head to look up at her. “Oh, yeah?” he smirked. She thought he was wonderful?

“Mmmhmm,” she murmured and traced his eyebrows with her fingertip. 

“Hmmpf. Keep readin’.”

\---

“Hey, Bobby?” Tora said as he peered up from his game. 

“Hmm?”

He pointed at the light green leafy plant hanging beside the zig zag cactus. He didn’t remember seeing it before. “Ya get a new plant?”

Poppy turned around and looked at where he was gesturing. “Look at you, Mr. Perceptive. Yes, I did. I hung it up today, right before you came over. It’s a golden pothos.”

“Thought ya already had one of them on the other wall. Why ya need two of the same kind?”

She giggled at him. “I have a heartleaf philodendron, in that corner.” She pointed to it above the couch. “Different, but they look kind of similar. They’re both trailing plants, anyway.”

The hell did she just say? A heartleaf… _what?_

“Jesus. How do ya even remember the names of all of ‘em?”

She shrugged. “I guess I kind of see them the same way I see people. They all have their own look and they each have different needs or personalities. I care about them and I think when you love something, you have an easier time getting to know all about it.”

He considered her answer heavily. It always amazed him, how she viewed the world. In his life, people were all the same. They existed in dark shadows where they did even darker things; they had no need for light. They snuffed it out whenever they could. 

Outside of Quincey, Ronzo and Tyson, he didn’t bother to get to know any of them. All they cared about was gambling, strip clubs, drinking, violence, clawing their way to the top. He didn’t give a shit about any of it. He craved more, needed warmth and sunlight, a safe place to just _be._

And that was what Poppy gave him. 

She touched him, asked him questions and listened intently when he told her things about himself. Not only that, but she _remembered_ those details and brought them up in later conversations. 

_I care about them and I think when you love something, you have an easier time getting to know all about it._

Could she? Could she… love him?

He cleared his throat and pointed to the plant hanging on the other side of the pothos. “S’that one?”

“It’s a spider plant,” she answered. 

Okay, that was an easy one. Even he could remember that. It even looked like a spider.

He pointed at one on the balcony. “And that one?”

She laughed. “Testing me, huh? It’s a fiddle leaf fig.”

He smirked. What the hell did the plant need a middle and last name for?

“What about the one next to it?” he asked.

“Dracaena.”

Hmmpf. She was good. 

He gazed around the living room and then pointed at a pink plant. “That one? What’s her story?”

“She’s a red aglaonema.”

_Huh?_

“The hell? Did ya just sneeze?”

She laughed again. “No. That’s her name.”

“Say it again.”

“Ag-lao-nema.”

“God fuckin’ bless you.”

She swatted at him. “Are you done now? Did I pass your test?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “Fer now. I’m gonna stump you one day.” And while he attempted that, he was going to try to remember the name of every plant he could. 

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that, tiger.”

He flipped over onto his stomach and rested his head on his arms. “S’pretty impressive, though, Bobby. I don’t know shit about plants or flowers. Well, ‘cept peonies,” he said and tapped at his ink.

Poppy set her book down and spread her tiny hand across his arm. “Can I see?”

He stretched out his arm in front of him and she rolled up his sleeve as far as it would go. Then he felt her fingertip slowly tracing the lines of his tattoo. 

Christ, he loved when she put her hands on him. 

“Feels nice,” he murmured after a moment. 

“Mmm. Good,” she said and then asked, “Why peonies?”

“Mean good luck and prosperity, two things I can use a lot of in the…” he caught himself. “In my line of work. I dunno, I just feel better if I have ‘em on me. Maybe that sounds stupid…”

He looked away from her then; as far as he knew, she didn’t have any tattoos. She was _allowed_ to express herself in any way she wanted. She probably thought that was the dumbest thing she’d ever hea-

“Tora, no,” she said and wrapped her fingers around his hand. “It’s obviously something that means a lot to you and makes you happy, right?” He nodded. “That’s beautiful. There is _nothing_ ugly or stupid about what brings you happiness.” He watched her press a kiss to the center of one of the flowers. 

Fuck. 

He felt ashamed for ever doubting her. She wasn’t cruel or one to mock people. She was kind and caring, the best person he’d ever known. 

“Bein’ around ya makes me happy, kid.”

“You make me happy too, Tora.”

He smirked at her. “So ya think I’m beautiful?”

She giggled. “Mmmhmm, pretty,” she said and tapped him on the nose with her finger, then used it to trace his koi fish tattoo. 

He laid his cheek down on his arm and he hummed with pleasure. It felt so fucking good. 

“Tora?” she asked after a few silent seconds. 

“Hmm?” 

Then she said something that made his head snap up.

“Can I see your other tattoos?”


	7. Pride and Plants - Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold the smut! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the second and final part of this scene. And sorry for the repeat song usage, but I couldn't HELP myself. In my defense, it IS a different stanza than the one I used in the second chapter lol. That song just screams Poppy and Tora to me and Gavin DeGraw has had a huge part of my heart since high school *swoon*
> 
> I know I say it a lot, but I truly mean it when I say thank you all so much for being here! I absolutely love writing for you and I'm so glad you enjoy these little pieces of my heart and soul. 
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“She holds a key  
Tight in her hand  
Clutching his neck  
She is breaking the man  
Listen you sinner  
I'm sinning too  
Just wait until the darkness falls so I can sin with you”  
-Gavin DeGraw, “She Holds a Key”

\---

“Can I see your other tattoos?” Poppy asked.

Tora’s head was off his arm like a shot. He gaped at her. 

Did she realize what she was asking?

“What?”

“At Quincey’s party, you said you had other tattoos, but you would only show them to me if we were alone. And…” she bit her lip and he could feel his cock beginning to harden. 

“We’re alone now.”

_Fuck._

He sucked in a deep breath. “Bobby…”

“Where is it?” she asked. 

“On my leg.”

“Well, that’s not so bad.”

“I’d hafta take my pants off to show ya the whole thing.”

For a long, endless moment, she said nothing. He was rock hard after thinking about stripping his pants off for her and she was completely unreadable. Had he made her uncomfortable? Shit. He was just telling her the truth. She’d already seen the kanji on his back; his tiger was the only one he’d never shown her and-

Tora’s thoughts were interrupted as she silently began to crawl around to his side of the pillow. He slowly rolled over onto his back and kept his eyes locked on her. 

Poppy perched herself on her knees beside him and began to unbutton his jeans. 

Holy. Shit. 

He inhaled sharply as he felt her fingertips play at his waistband. 

He didn’t know where this was going or what she was about to do, but he had a feeling he was going to like it.

She tugged his jeans down his waist and his thigh muscles shivered involuntarily under her hands.

Christ, you’d think he’d never been touched by a woman before. He’d been with plenty, but none that made him feel the way _she_ did, this cute, impulsive, headstrong little thing. 

He knew she could see the effect she had on him, too; it was throbbing and pointing straight at her from under his boxers. 

Finally, his pants were bunched up at his ankles and she helped him as he kicked them off. He watched her as she took in the sight of his tiger tattoo; it was huge and took up nearly the whole span of his leg. He’d sat thirty hours total for the damn cat, each one more painful and annoying than the last. But every single second was worth it, if only for the look on her face while she studied it. 

He watched her hand reach out and then he felt her fingers on his ankle; he clenched his fists at his sides and threw his head back onto the pillow as she traced the pattern of his tattoo up his calf muscle and to his thigh. 

Christ, was she _trying_ to kill him? 

Poppy’s hand splayed out on his thigh and rested there. He squeezed his eyes shut against the thought that he was going to explode. His dick _ached_ to the point of pain and he had the shameful thought of taking care of himself in her bathroom if she wasn’t going to do it for him. Fuck, what would she think if she knew what was going through his head?

He could control himself. 

He _would,_ for her. 

Then, gently, he felt her hand wrap around his length. 

He hissed in surprise and his head flew up, eyes wide as he looked at her. “Bobby, you don’t hafta-“ 

She continued to stroke him through his boxers and then she said the three sexiest words he’d heard her say yet. “I want to.”

Fuck, this was the best day of his life.

He gazed at her tiny hand as it worked the length of his cock; he was dying to watch what she was going to do to him, but he couldn’t keep his eyes open against the jolts of pleasure she was sending through him. Eventually he moaned in surrender and his head fell back onto the pillow. 

She pumped his shaft steadily and evenly before picking up her pace. As her movements became quicker and bolder, his hips began to thrust into each jerk and stroke. He felt her hand leave him and then the tug of his boxers as she slid them down his legs. 

His cock sprang free and he wondered what she thought about it. Did she think he was too big? Was he the biggest she’d ever seen? Had she even _been_ with another man before? She never really talked about it. Of course, he never really recounted his strings of one-night stands eit-

The feel of her warm hands on his bare cock put an end to the thoughts that were racing through his mind and they were replaced with blissful static. “Oh, _fuuuck,”_ he moaned and his eyes rolled back into his head.

The quicker she stroked his dick, the more fog overwhelmed his brain; he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. He was completely detached to everything but the feel of her tugging at his cock and he was powerless to do anything but buck his hips in time with the fevered motions of her hands. 

The pleasure lapped at him in waves, threatening to spill over and it wasn’t long before he teetered on the edge of an orgasm. He looked down at her. “Fuck Bobby,” he growled. “I’m close. Where do ya want me to come?”

Her response was instant. She pulled her hands away from him long enough to pull her shirt and her bra from herself, then they returned to his shaft. “On my chest,” she rasped.

Those three words and the sight of her half-naked body was all it took for him to come undone. 

_”Fuck,”_ he cried out and yanked his length from her grasp. She flipped onto her back and eyes screwed shut, mouth open and panting, he emptied himself across her bare breasts. 

Spent and satisfied, Tora settled himself onto his back and waited for his breath to return to him. He turned his head to the left and looked at her face. Her eyes were so soft, warm and… did he see a fleck of _pride_ shining back at him?

Hmmpf. Sexy little thing. 

“Bobby, I’ll help ya clean yerself off in a second,” he said after he was able to string a sentence together again. “But first I gotta know… where the _fuck_ did that come from?”

Not that he was complaining.

She laughed. “I don’t know. I just wanted to do that for you.”

“Well. Shit,” he rasped out and squeezed her thigh. If that was how she responded to seeing hidden tattoos… she could look at his any fucking time she wanted. 

He told her so and she laughed again, clapping her hands over her face. 

“Oh my god,” she mumbled. “What have I started?”

“Somethin’ I hope yer prepared to finish, sweetheart,” he told her. “Think yer stuck with me.”

He couldn’t go anywhere if he tried. She’d ruined him for anyone else, any other way of life. 

Poppy peered out at him from behind her hands and smiled. “Good.”

\---

When Tora walked into her kitchen to grab paper towels, all he could think about was touching her, being inside of her. Poppy had just given him the best hand job of his life and he was determined to make her feel just as good. Would she let him? Was she ready for that?

He’d also come over here to have a difficult conversation with her. Quincey had been out of town on vacation for the past two weeks and Tora foolishly allowed himself to feel free, as though he was the type of man who could date a woman openly without worrying about the dangerous consequences.

What a fucking pipe dream. It was something Goliath would’ve done, but not him. 

When Quincey came back later that week and jumped into regular meetings with Poppy, he knew they couldn’t behave like a couple in front of him. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed or couldn’t handle Quincey’s teasing, but it was that he could not allow his brother the opportunity to spill his guts to Kane. 

Kane could never know what she meant to Tora, no matter what. It could cost Poppy her life. 

It had cost Goliath his. 

If Poppy agreed to keep their relationship a secret until he could figure out what to do about Kane, he’d spend the rest of his life making it up to her. 

He held his breath as he returned to her in the living room. He wiped his semen off her full chest and already he could feel his cock stirring to life again. He gently kneaded one of her breasts in his palm and her cheeks turned a burning pink. 

Fuck it. He’d talk to her in a bit. If she’d let him, he wanted to pleasure her first. 

He helped tug her to her feet and retreated to the kitchen to throw the soiled paper towels away. When he came back, he was disappointed to see she’d already slipped her shirt and bra back on.

“Got somethin’ I need ta talk to ya about,” he said as he stood close to her, “but there’s somethin’ else I wanna do first.”

“What’s that?” she asked. 

“I wanna return the favor,” he rasped and reached down to unbutton her jean shorts. 

She grasped at his wrists to stop him and he frowned internally. “Tora, you don’t have to do that. I didn’t, um- _touch you_ so you’d ‘return the favor.’ I did it just because.”

Normally he would have backed off right then and there, but Tora was determined. He was going to have to ask something so huge, so _heartbreaking_ of her and he wanted to do this for her first, wanted to feel her. He _needed_ to.

He bent his head until his mouth was pressed against the shell of her ear. “Don’t ya remember what I said about favors, Bobby? I _love_ them.”

He could hear her breath catch in her throat and then she was silent. 

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

He removed his hands from her. “Do ya not want me to? I want to, but s’okay if yer not ready.”

“No, no!” she blurted out. “It’s not that I’m not ready. I am ready. I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to-“

He’d heard all he needed to. 

He covered her mouth with his and her lips opened to him as she moaned long and low. He took the opportunity to sweep his tongue across her own and she sighed. Without breaking their kiss, he picked her up, wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her down the hall to her bedroom. 

Once he’d settled her on her back on the bed, he wasted no time in tugging off her shorts and underwear. Fuck, if she wasn’t the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen; so soft and pink and inviting. 

Tora laid down beside Poppy and kissed her as he lightly began to trace slow circles on her clit. She bucked her hips against him hard and he eased up on the pressure a bit. After a moment, he could feel her growing wetter; her hips began to sway and respond to his movements and her breathing was replaced by deep moans and pants. 

Slowly, he slipped one finger inside of her. 

Christ, she was _tight_ but she was so wet there was no resistance; he nearly groaned himself as he could feel her inner walls slicking and clenching around his finger. If fucking her with his hand was this hot, then fucking her for _real_ would be…

He pushed his finger into her as deep as it would go.

She cried out as he filled her and her hips, her legs took on a life of their own. She began squirming against his hand as he thrust at her. 

“Tell me if it’s too much,” he murmured as he buried his face in her neck. 

“More,” she whispered around a moan. 

He lifted his head and looked at her.

Jesus Christ. 

He added a second finger and her head slammed back against the pillow. As he pumped his hand in and out of her, her cries came out closer and closer together. 

“Yer beautiful, Bobby,” he whispered and with one large thumb, he teased at her clit; he could feel the telltale tightening of her muscles around his fingers and then she arched soundlessly off the bed. 

She came hard on his hand, her body shuddering against it again and again until finally she dropped back to the mattress. 

Once she finished, Tora withdrew his hand and stared at her. Some of her hair had escaped the ponytail she’d tied it into and her cheeks were flushed with his favorite color. She didn’t speak as she tried to catch her breath and finally, she turned on her side to face him. 

He smiled at her. “Was it good?” he asked. 

Her head nodded at him heavily. “It was better than good. Honestly, I didn’t know it could be like that.”

Tora felt his chest swelling with pride; damn right it was better than good. He was fucking thrilled he could make her feel that way. 

“There’s more where that came from, sweetheart,” he smirked and then laughed as she swatted at his arm. 

“C’mere,” he said to her after a few moments. “I need to talk to ya.” He pulled her tight against his body and sighed. Christ, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so afraid. 

_Here goes… everything._

“Everything okay?” she asked him. 

“S’fine, Bobby. I just gotta ask somethin’ of ya and it’s a lot.”

“Okay.” She burrowed in closer to him. “I’m listening.”

Tora sighed again. “So, ya know how I’m in private security?”

“Uh huh.” He felt her grip on him tighten ever so slightly. 

“Well, s’not just that. I’m actually a bodyguard. For Quincey.”

“Okay, that makes sense,” she said. “So… what did you need to ask me?”

Fuck, how did he put this? Maybe he could make light of it? It might be easier on her. 

“Well, me seein’ ya the way I have been’s a… conflict of interest. Gonna be hard to focus on my duties to Quincey when yer havin’ meetings with him and I can’t keep my hands off ya,” he joked and squeezed her bare ass. 

He heard her suck in a breath and he looked at her face. She was frowning. 

Shit.

“Look, kid, I’m not about ta stop seein’ ya. Walkin’ outta yer life’s just not an option fer me. I _can’t.”_

And he wouldn’t. Ever. 

But he would give her the choice to walk out of _his._

“Okay, good. It’s not really an option for me either. I kinda like you,” she smiled. 

He didn’t return the smile. Couldn’t. 

“That bein’ said, I need to ask ya not to tell Quincey we’re together. Probably be better if ya didn’t tell anyone, least not fer awhile.”

He watched as Poppy’s smile crumpled; her eyes glassed over with tears and she jammed the heels of her hands into them. 

God damnit all to fucking _hell._

“Are… are you ashamed of me? Of being seen with me?”

Tora felt as though she’d slapped him in the face. 

What. The. Fuck. 

When had he made her feel that way? His mind raced as he tried to conjure up every moment he’d spent with her. He couldn’t think of one instance, but maybe she had interpreted his words or actions differently. She had to know what she meant to him. He would tell her and… 

His heart sank. 

He’d have to scare her a little.

He’d rather her be frightened of his job, even frightened of _him_ than have her thinking he was _embarrassed_ to be with her.

Tora gripped her wrists in his hands and pulled them away from her face. “Listen to me, Poppylan,” he said sternly. “That is _not_ the fuckin’ case. And I don’t want ya ever thinkin’ it is. Damnit, if I could, I’d throw you over my shoulder and carry ya down every street in the city, just so everyone knows ya mine.”

He stared hard into her eyes. “But my job is more fuckin’ dangerous than ya might think and I gotta concentrate, not only on keepin’ Quincey safe, but you too.”

He could feel himself beginning to panic. Christ, was he even making sense? “Quincey’s my brother, but he’s a loudmouth. And he’s well known. If he let it slip ‘bout us to the wrong person… well, some of these fucks get bright ideas in their heads and hurt people you care about just to make you suffer. I can’t have a target on yer back, I won’t. ‘Specially not ‘cuz of me.”

Tora raked a hand through his hair. “Fuck, why ya think I was parkin’ a different car outside of ya place every night? I couldn’t have anyone tracin’ me back here and findin’ out where ya live.”

Tears poured freely from her eyes and in that moment, he’d never hated himself more. 

Fuck, fuck, _FUCK._

Why couldn’t he just be normal for her? 

He tugged her into his chest. “Damnit, Bobby, I didn’t mean ta scare ya, but it’s the truth. S’not fair for us ta continue and you not know what ya gettin’ yerself into by bein’ involved with me.” He stroked her hair and brushed a kiss against her forehead. “I wanted ta give you a choice.”

She blinked at him as she soaked in his words and then… was that _anger_ on her face? 

“A- a choice? To do what? _Leave?”_

He nodded, unsure what she was going to say next. “It’s a lot ta ask of ya, sweetheart.”

“I’m not leaving you, Tora,” Poppy blurted out. “It’s like you said, I _can’t._ You mean too much to me and the thought of not being with you…” She shook her head at him vigorously. “I just can’t. I won’t. Out of the question.”

A small part of him hoped that she would have left. She’d be safer then, could find someone better. But the self-serving part of him, the part that wanted her desperately was the dominant one, it always had been. 

He’d never been prouder of her, never been happier. 

He smiled softly at her. “Ya sure? It’s a big load ta shoulder fer someone ya only known about a month.”

“You’re stuck with me, remember?” He grinned like an idiot at her and nodded. 

“So if keeping this a secret for awhile is what I have to do to keep _you,_ then that’s what I’m going to do.”

Tora crushed her against him and kissed her hair. This cute, little woman was going to be the death of him. 

“Feisty little hamster. Don’t think ya can’t change yer mind if at any point it gets too hard. I won’t hold it against ya.” And he meant it, but he secretly, selfishly hoped she’d never leave, even if it was the right thing to do. 

“I’m not going to change my mind.”

So strong. Brave. 

“Kay. I’m… I’m sorry. Fer not tellin’ ya sooner. And that this is my life. I don’t… like it,” he said quietly. 

“It’s okay,” Poppy said and tilted her head to kiss him. “It’s not like it’s forever, right?”

He didn’t answer.

\---

“So, I can’t tell Quincey,” she said a few moments later. “Not Rowan, not Kane…”

Tora’s chest tightened at the sound of his name leaving her mouth. _”’Specially_ not that sick fuck, Kane,” he said. 

She looked taken aback at his response. “Why- why do you hate him so much?”

Christ, if only he could tell her. 

“S’between us,” he said. “That’s all ya need to know.”

“Well,” she said thoughtfully, “it’ll be fine. I won’t tell him, but Kane doesn’t talk to me anyway, Tora.”

This relieved him. A little. 

_”Good,”_ he said. 

They laid silently together on the bed until he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to tell her how much he appreciated her willingness to keep their relationship a secret. Needed to show her. 

He looked over at her. “Hey.”

She turned her head to meet his eyes. 

“Thank you,” he said and stretched out on top of her. He brushed her mussed up hair from her eyes and kissed her deeply until their breaths quickened and they were both moaning into each other’s mouths. 

“Tora?” she asked as their mouths separated. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“If I’m going to do this, I have one condition.”

Tora laughed. He’d do anything for her. “So feisty. Anythin’ ya want. Just say the word.”

She said seven and each one jabbed at his heart. 

“I want to see where you live.”


	8. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Just a quick note- the first scene is based on panels already written by Lily for Midnight Poppy Land, and while I included my own spin on it, I wanted to give her credit where it's due... ALL the credit**
> 
> \---
> 
> I'm back with possibly the longest update I've EVER written for MPL. Honestly, at first, I thought I'd have a harder time writing from Tora's perspective; as much as I absolutely adore him, he's a man, he's in the mafia and incredibly wounded. He's gone through horrors that a lot of people can't even imagine. Though I've had my own hardships like anyone else, I don't know what any of THAT is like, but good lord if I don't relate so much to him (both Lily's and my own version of him.) 
> 
> I thought it would be easier to write from Poppy's point of view because I love her, I'm also a woman who leads what some people would deem an "ordinary" life, I enjoy writing and editing, I know how it feels to be with a man, etc. She seems like the obviously relatable one, right?
> 
> WRONG lol. Tora _pours_ out of me and while he is difficult to write (yesterday's chapter ended with me having a tension headache) he is also my favorite to dive into and I'm so glad you're all enjoying reading this story through his eyes. It's an honor to write it for you! 
> 
> Thank you for being here. You mean the world to me. 
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“While you were sleeping, I figured out everything  
I was constructed for you and you were molded for me  
Now I feel your name, coursin' through my veins  
You shine so bright, it's insane, you put the sun to shame”  
-A Spill Canvas, “Lullaby”

\---

“Tora, come join us at the table,” Claude said. “Everyone’s there except for you, my dude.”

This fucking asshole.

Tora ignored him as he sat with his elbows propped on the bar at Chevy’s. As Claude moved closer to stand beside him, Tora fired up a cigarette. 

“What are you having?” he asked, peering around at Tora’s face. 

He exhaled a plume of smoke. “Strawberry juice.” The only fucking thing that was going to get him through the next couple of hours was tasting like her.

“Strawberry juice, huh?” Claude asked as Gyu set the glass of red liquid down in front of him. “Never took you as a guy who did anything sweet.”

Tora ignored him again. “Thanks, Gyu.”

“You’re really somethin’, huh?” Claude continued, lowering himself onto the stool beside Tora. “Prized bodyguard and right-hand man of Boss Balthuman. Haven’t seen you in awhile, though.”

Tora inhaled deeply on his cigarette.

“It feels like there’s something else going on here. What, are you shacking up with some chick or-“

It was reflex. 

Tora stood quickly and with the speed of a jungle cat, his hand snapped out and clenched around Claude’s throat. He hauled him out of the stool and it clattered to the tiled floor behind him. 

“You talk a lot,” he told Claude and blew a puff of smoke directly into his face. Then he took a quick glance around. 

“Ah. Looks like there’s no ashtray here. Any idea where I should stub my cigarette out?” he asked and yanked Claude’s face up until it was inches in front of his own. 

“L-let me go, you bastard. My fuckin’ eye is burning up!!” Claude yelped as tears streamed down his face. 

Then the soft, nervous sound of Gyu’s voice floated over to them from behind the bar. 

“Big Bro Tora, please use this ashtray,” he said, holding it out in his shaking palms. “Silly me, I forgot to take it out.”

Claude huffed heavily while Tora stared at Gyu hard. “So ya do have one after all.” 

“Yeah…”

“Better leave it out so everyone can see it, huh?” Tora told him firmly as he stubbed out his cigarette in it. Then he shoved Claude away from him. 

“Got it, Big Bro.”

Tora plucked the cut strawberry from the rim of his glass and as he made his way to the private party room, he could faintly hear Gyu asking Claude if he was okay.

Tora took a bite of the fruit and when the sweetness burst across his tongue, he exhaled deeply.

Fucking pain in the ass clan gatherings. 

\---

Tora sat in the corner of the clan’s usual table, bored out of his fucking mind. He hated putting on this stupid black suit and acting like he gave two shits about what Vincent and Martin discussed. He couldn’t relate to anyone here and more than that, he never wanted to. 

He sighed as Vincent began expressing his concerns about some rival gang threatening some members of Balthuman on the streets. Hmmpf. See if he cared if anything happened to his boss or the clan. Maybe he’d be able to get out and give Poppy the life she deserved. 

“They’re calling themselves the Ninedaggers,” Vincent scoffed. “If I remember correctly, wasn’t that the name of the clan your _brother_ was forming, Tora?”

Tora’s head snapped up and both Vincent and Kane were staring hard at him. The fuck? Ninedaggers? It _was_ but he never thought it went past Goliath ranting to him about it. That was all his brother was: a good bluff and a bunch of talk. 

“Never heard of it,” Tora grunted indifferently and stared out into the room.

“Hmmm,” was all Vincent said. 

As his boss moved on to other topics Tora could care less about, his eyes scanned the restaurant. It was a nice place; warm atmosphere and decent food. He wished he could bring Poppy here on a date. 

His eyes fell on a large plant in the corner; it had big, fan-like leaves with holes in them. He smiled and pulled out his phone under the table. He zoomed in on the plant and managed to snap a picture of it without drawing anyone’s attention. 

Tora opened his text conversation with Poppy and sent her the photo.

_what’s this one?_ he typed, hoping this was the plant that finally stumped her.

He tucked his phone back into his pocket and stood as Vincent adjourned the meeting. He walked out behind a couple of younger members and then felt his phone buzz.

_bobby, 1 New Message_

_That’s easy, I have one at my apartment. You’ve seen it! Monstera deliciosa :)_

Jesus, how the hell was he ever going to remember all these weird fucking names?

_well fuck,_ he typed back. 

Then he sent another message, one that he hoped would make her face ripen red.

_i think you’re delicious_

He smirked down at his phone as he waited for her response and faintly heard the two men talking about Tora’s incident with Claude at the bar. He looked up as they paused in front of him. One was staring at him wide-eyed and he immediately dropped the smile from his face. 

“The fuck you two lookin’ at?” he spat. “Turn around and keep walkin’.”

\---

Tora pulled up outside of Poppy’s apartment a nervous wreck. As he shifted Quincey’s car into park, he lit up a cigarette and punched out a quick text to let her know he was there. 

Loud, angry music blared from the stereo, but it did nothing to drown out the thoughts that were flooding his mind. 

She was going to see his house; his ugly, cold, depressing, shithole in the wall apartment. With its concrete walls and cell-like windows, it was more of a mausoleum than a place to relax. Especially when you compared it to her warm little corner of the world, filled with light and books, art, homecooked meals and all her plants. 

A plant wouldn’t last two seconds in his goddamn house; he’d be lucky if it didn’t shrivel up and die as soon as he stepped through the door with it. 

Tora didn’t want her to think anything was wrong with him. He never wanted to risk snuffing out her light.

But he’d made her a promise and he always kept them. It was the least he could do for her, anyway, after she agreed to keep their relationship a secret. 

He sighed. She definitely deserved more than the prison cell he had to offer; she deserved a house like Mr. Darcy’s, a castle, the whole fucking world. 

Tora peered in his rearview mirror at the guard in the security booth and frowned; the fucker was kicked back _sleeping._ He wasn’t going to have that at all. He’d contact Ronzo about it, maybe get some intel on him. If it was up to Tora, that lazy shit was going to be out of a job by the end of the week.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement from the inside of the gate; it was Poppy and she was lugging a giant pink bag with her. 

Shit. 

He berated himself as he quickly swung out of his car and stubbed out his cigarette on the ground with his foot. Why didn’t he head up and walk her down like he always did? Fucking idiot, she’d had to carry that big ass bag down all those stairs…

He really needed another cigarette.

He jogged over to her. “Fuck, sorry, wasn’t thinkin,’” he said as he slipped the bag from her shoulder. “Didn’t know ya were bringin’ yer whole fridge with ya.”

He grimaced internally. If he was a normal man, she wouldn’t have _had_ to. He’d have a fridge stocked with food, a full kitchen complete with pots, pans and dishes. If he was a normal, _better_ man, he’d be the one cooking for _her._

“It’s fine, you didn’t have to take my bag,” she said. “And I wanted to make sure we had everything we needed. I brought some cute napkins for us to use. And I packed extra meat for you.”

He was so tortured by his own thoughts that he barely heard her. He gave her a small smile and opened the passenger door for her. 

Once she was inside, he rounded the car, flopped himself down into the driver’s seat and fired up another cigarette. She turned the volume down on the radio and looked at him. 

“Tora, if you don’t want to do this, it’s okay. The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable. We can just stay here and eat dinner.”

Christ, what a real fucking class act he was, making her feel guilty for making the simple request to see where he lived. 

His finger jabbed at the auto-lock button and the doors clicked shut. 

She spun around. “Tora, really, it’s-“

“Bobby, s’okay,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You agreed to do somethin’ pretty big fer me and I know it couldn’t’ve been easy on ya. Least I can do is the same for you.”

“But-“

“I said s’fine,” he cut her off. “Now let’s get this over with.”

\---

Ten minutes into their drive, Tora had smoked two cigarettes and kept both hands gripped tightly to the steering wheel; it was the only way he could stop them from shaking. He wanted to say something to Poppy, _anything,_ but his mouth wouldn’t work. He was so terrified of losing her and after seeing how he lived, why would she stick around?

She wouldn’t. She’d cut and run. And he couldn’t even fault her for it.

The sound of her voice drifted from the passenger seat. “Hey, Tora.”

He glanced over at her and when he did, she smooshed her palms into her cheeks and scrunched her mouth up into fish lips. 

His eyebrows rose. Pfft. The hell?

“What the fuck ya doin’, Bobby?” he asked.

Poppy didn’t answer him; instead she kept distorting her face into silly, ugly mugs. Finally, he allowed himself to laugh at her. What a fucking goof. 

“Jesus Christ,” he chuckled and shook his head. He reached out and pulled on one of her cheeks. “Ya real cute.”

“Ow, okay, oh my god, stop! Seriously, that hurts,” she giggled and he dropped his hand from her face. 

He tapped his cigarette out in the car ashtray and reached for her over the center console. She laced their fingers together and planted a kiss on the back of his hand. They talked and teased the rest of the ride and when Poppy switched the music over to something cheerier, he couldn’t help but tap along to the beat.

\---

As he turned the car onto his street, Tora could feel his nerves pricking away at him again. When he pulled into the apartment parking garage, he lit up another cigarette. 

“Do- do you live with Quincey?” she asked. 

Shit. Duh. That’s right. She’d been here before. 

“That princess wouldn’t survive it,” he told her. “I’d kill him the second he tried ta dress me.”

She smiled. “So just in the same building then?”

“Yeah. C’mon,” he said as he exited the car. “I’ll get ya bags.”

Like a fucking gentleman this time. 

Tora called out to her as she made a beeline for the lobby entrance of the building. “We’re goin’ round back,” he said, pointing.

She followed him around the corner and stopped behind him when they reached his old, beat up front door. 

“Ya ready for this?” he asked bitterly. 

She smiled widely at him. “Yes.”

With that, he walked inside.

\---

Tora didn’t want to watch Poppy observe his apartment for the first time; he didn’t want to see pity or horror cross her face, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. 

She silently took stock of the place; her eyes roamed over his few belongings, the cold bare walls, the pile of electronics on a small console table, the trash in the corner. Her face remained unreadable and he had to know what she was thinking. 

“Well, this is me,” he said sarcastically and gestured out at the room. “Ya ready to leave yet?”

“Been drinking strawberry juice, huh?” she asked quietly and pointed at the empty cans in the corner. He watched her slip her shoes off. 

_Huh?_ She wanted to… _stay?_

_”What?”_ he asked incredulously. _”That’s_ what ya decide to-“

Poppy interrupted him. “Well, the girl who introduced you to it must be pretty cool.”

Tora could feel a wave of relief cresting in his chest. She was the coolest, his absolute favorite person in the world. 

“Pfft. She’s all right. Got a cute ass,” he teased.

“Tora!” she cried. A pink blush rose across her cheeks and the color warmed the entire room. “I brought us strawberry juice to share, but now I don’t know if I want to.”

He caught her as she attempted to walk past him and he wound one arm around her curvy waist. “Please share it with me, Bobby,” he whispered against her ear. “I love tastin’ like ya.”

“Oh my god. Tora!” she cried again and smacked playfully at the arm holding her. He laughed hard and finally released her. 

“All right, you thug, you’ve had your fun,” she said and blew a piece of hair out of her eyes. “Now, where’s your kitchen? I’ll warm up our food.”

\---

Once they’d settled on the couch side by side with their dinner, Tora popped the top off his bento box and smiled when he was greeted by a crouching tiger made of rice. 

“See ya made me another one of these handsome devils,” he chuckled. “Bet the guy it takes after is pretty cool.”

Poppy rolled her eyes at him. “He’s all right. Got a cute butt.”

Butt? What was she, twelve? Who said butt anymore? 

He wanted to hear her cuss; she _never_ cursed in front of him and he’d bet his ass it would make her blush. 

“Pfft. I didn’t say butt, Bobby. I said ya gotta cute _ass.”_

“I know what you said,” she murmured. “I don’t have a potty mouth, unlike some people in this room.”

“C’mon, I wanna hear you say it.”

“No.”

“Please, sweetheart?”

She turned to him then and hooded her eyes; even with her somber expression, he could detect the lightest shade of red blooming on her face. 

_Yes,_ she was going to say it.

“Tora… stop it. You’re being an _ass.”_

Holy shit, no one made him laugh the way she did. 

“Damnit Bobby, yer fuckin’ adorable,” he chuckled. 

“As adorable as my mini-me?” she asked and held a smaller rice ball in front of her face. This one was in the shape of a hamster, with little whiskers and a pink nose. 

Fuck, why was she so amazing? So perfect. He loved everything about her. He… he _loved her._

He loved her so goddamn much it hurt. He wanted to tell her, but what if she didn’t feel the same? What if it was too much, too fast and it scared her? Shit, he didn’t even completely understand the concept himself, let alone be able to say it out loud to someone else.

Tora would show her instead. 

“S’pretty cute,” he told her and set his dinner down on the floor. He leaned in close and watched her replace her rice ball in the box. “Guess that makes _two_ hamsters I’d eat,” he whispered. 

“Tora…” she breathed deeply and he smiled at the effect he had on her. “You… you didn’t finish your dinner.”

He took her bowl and set it down beside his. “Not what I want right now,” he said and firmly pressed his mouth to hers. Before long, he was dipping his fingers into her wetness and he didn’t stop until her body was racking against his hand. She came on a low moan with her back lifted from the couch and he marveled at the sight of her. 

He was the luckiest goddamn man alive. 

\---

After Poppy came down from her orgasm and righted her clothes, they stretched out on the couch together. She’d reached for Tora’s cock through his jeans, but he’d moved her hand away. She pouted and puffed her cheeks at him in annoyance, but he wouldn’t let her touch him. It was about her, this whole night was, and he wanted to make her feel as good and comfortable in his apartment as he could. 

“Ya can touch me some other time,” he told her. “I just needed to feel ya.” He inhaled deeply and caught the scent of her flowery shampoo. “Mmm. Ya smell nice, sweetheart.”

“You smell nice, too,” she said, and he felt her bury her face into his chest. “Oh, I meant to tell you, I brought your gray hoodie with me. You forgot it at my apartment that first night and I wanted to make sure I gave it back to you.”

Pfft. It wasn’t his anymore; the second he shrugged it off in her living room, it belonged to her. 

He chuckled. “Didn’t forget it, left it there on purpose. I liked the idea of ya wearin’ it. I don’t need it back.”

“Okay, good,” she murmured against his shirt. “I _do_ like wearing it.”

An image flashed through his mind of her wearing his hoodie and nothing else. “Ya wear it to bed?” he rasped. Christ, why was he such a perv for her?

“Sometimes,” she admitted. “Speaking of bed, can I see your bedroom? It’s only fair, since you’ve seen my girly one.”

Shit, was she… suggesting what he thought she was suggesting? He would’ve been aroused out of his mind if he wasn’t overwhelmed by the sadness he felt at having to tell her no. 

“Don’t have one,” he said.

“What? You don’t have one?”

“Nah. I’m not here often. Don’t sleep much and don’t sleep well. Be a waste of a room, so I never set one up.”

“Then… then where did you put your bed?” she asked, eyes wide.

His heart thudded hard in his chest. 

“We’re layin’ on it.”

And there it was, passing over her face like a dark cloud, the pity and horror.

“Tora…”

Why did she have to say his name like that, like it was some broken thing?

He sighed deeply. “This is exactly why I didn’t wanna bring ya here. It’s… not a home. It’s a place where I shit, eat and sleep. That’s it. It’s not… good enough for someone like ya. Ya don’t belong in a hole like this.”

Not a place with no decorations, no light, no life growing inside it. Not the place where he didn’t see himself for long, whether he simply moved out to keep people off his trail or he was killed on the job. 

“And neither do you!” she cried out. “I don’t know what kind of twisted view you have of yourself, but I don’t share it. I don’t accept it. You are a good man and you deserve _everything.”_

If she only knew the things he’d done; Poppy wouldn’t think he deserved anything. Certainly not her. 

He sighed again. “C’mon, I don’t wanna fight with ya, Bobby.”

“We’re not fighting. I’m right and you’re wrong. That’s the end of it.”

He chuckled and squeezed her tight. Fucking feisty ass little woman. “Fine, whatever ya say.”

“Whatever I say, huh?” she asked, then crawled over the top of him and stood up. “Get up.”

Tora squinted at her. “What for?”

“You said whatever I say. Now, _up.”_

He stood up beside her. “Now what?”

He watched her stretch herself out on the sofa, her body pressed deep into the back cushions. She patted the space in front of her. “Lay down.”

The hell? “Ya want me ta-“

“Be little spoon?” she finished for him. “Yes, I do. I want you to lay down and relax and watch a movie with me while I play with your hair.”

Tora laughed. Would she ever stop surprising him?

He lowered himself on the couch beside her. “Yer outta yer goddamned mind, kid.”

“Is it so out of my mind to want to hold you and make you feel good? You do it for me.”

That was different. She deserved it.

He grabbed the remote from the floor and pulled up Netflix. “Whatcha wanna watch?” He wondered if she’d ask to watch that Pride n’ Paradise movie again. They’d seen it twice together already and he honestly didn’t mind it as much as he thought he would. It was actually pretty good and he liked that Darcy guy.

“Something you’ll like,” she replied as he felt her gently pull his hair from the half bun he’d wrapped it into.

He decided to put on some new action movie; if he put on Pride n’ Professional, she’d probably make him change it anyway, thinking he was only doing it to please her. 

He’d make her watch it with him again some other day.

“S’nice,” he said after a few minutes of her fingers combing through his hair. 

He vaguely remembered chatting with her about the fast cars and shitty dialogue in the movie before he dozed off. 

\---

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Tora’s eyes shot open from a dead sleep. 

Vincent’s ringtone. 

If he didn’t answer, he didn’t know what would happen. 

Something across his chest, blocking his movement. 

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Instinctively, he flung the obstruction off him and then… a sharp pain in his head, his heart.

Poppy, sprawled out on the floor.

Tears in her eyes. 

“Fuck, shit, fuck! Bobby, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” he asked in a panic, his eyes roaming over her body, seeking out any sign of injury. He wouldn’t dare touch her; she probably didn’t even want him to. Maybe she never would again.

She didn’t say anything; just offered him a small nod. 

Her silence spoke volumes; she was far from okay. 

Fuck his fucking _life._

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, sweetheart, but I gotta take this call.”

She nodded again. 

_”Fuck!”_ he yelled and stabbed at his phone. “Tora,” he barked out. 

“Hello to you too, son,” Vincent said. “Are you home? I’m at Quincey’s and I need you to do something for me.”

“Yeah, sure. Be up in a sec,” Tora said and hung up. 

God damnit, he was upstairs. Poppy was downstairs. In the same building. 

Too close. 

He crouched down to her. “Listen ta me. That was my boss, he’s upstairs at Quincey’s. I gotta go meet with him for a couple minutes. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Christ, she looked so hurt and confused. 

“Well, I can come with you…” she began. 

“NO!” he bellowed. She jumped and started to cry harder. He never wanted to scare her, but in this moment, it was better that she was. Then she would stay put down here and Vincent would never know she existed. 

She would be safe. 

“You fuckin’ stay down here until I come back for ya, _do you understand me?”_

She nodded. “Y-yes.”

“Do _not_ come upstairs and ya lock this door behind me.”

“O-okay, Tora,” she choked out around her sobs. 

Water began to blur his vision. “Fuck, fuck, _fuck._ I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ll make it up to ya, I promise.” He pulled his hair back into its usual half bun and dropped a rushed kiss on her forehead. He pointed at the door as he opened it. “Don’t forget to lock up.”

He turned away from her then and swiped furiously at the tears in his eyes before he left her alone.


	9. Seaside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **COUPLE OF WARNINGS, PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING**
> 
> 1) This chapter contains a scene of graphic violence that might be disturbing to some,
> 
> and 2) There is a smut scene that might read as angry/rough, because that's how Tora is feeling when it happens, but it is entirely consensual. If you've read Stages from Poppy's point of view, then you already know that she was THRILLED by it ;) 
> 
> Anyway, I wanted to throw those out there, just in case! 
> 
> \---
> 
> Oof. It was sort of scary for me to hit that 'post' button today. We're getting to _that_ part of the story and all I'm gonna say is buckle your seatbelts, everyone, because this one had me reeling. Tora is an incredible human being, but man, he is one tortured soul. While this chapter is a bit of a doozy, I will say that it ends on a positive, happy note, so if you can hang in there until the end, it pays off, I swear! :) 
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with me through this. It's exciting to write from Tora's POV but it is emotionally taxing and the next two chapters are the ones I've been absolutely _dreading._ I may need some time to navigate through that head space, so please forgive me in advance if there is a slight delay in the next couple of updates. I swear they're coming! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> PS - HAPPY MPL UPDATE DAY!!!
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“After all of this time  
After all of these seasons  
After your one decision  
To go to the water for reason  
It's only the ocean and you”  
-Jack Johnson, “Only the Ocean”

\---

“Again,” Vincent said. 

Unthinking, unfeeling, as if his arm, his fist no longer belonged to him, Tora slammed it into the side of the middle-aged man’s face. His head snapped violently to the side and a broken tooth flew from his mouth. 

\---

Tora knew when he’d gone upstairs to Quincey’s apartment to meet Vincent that the night was going to end badly. And it had started off so _well._

He’d had a belly full of homecooked food, the most beautiful woman in the world in his arms and was sleeping the best he had in months. He’d let himself believe he was normal, that this could be how every evening of his life ended. Feeling content, happy, cared for, _loved._

Amazing how one phone call could change everything. 

When he’d entered the penthouse, Vincent told him he had a debt he wanted Tora to collect. Sure, no problem. He’d go rough them up, make them bleed a little and drop the cash off with Smithy. It would be quick and then he could get back to Poppy. 

But then Vincent insisted on coming with him and that could only mean one thing. 

This was what they referred to in the clan as the _”final debt.”_ Vincent was determined to always be present for the last collection. If Big Boss Balthuman stepped through your door, you knew it was over. 

Tora thought his boss must have enjoyed the fear his presence instilled; he probably got off watching the blood, the _life_ leave a person. He imagined Vincent as a demon in a suit, reaping the souls as they left their bodies and consuming them for their power.

He _hated_ him.

Vincent gave Tora the address to a small casino on Ares Street and he recognized it immediately. He’d been at the casino mere weeks ago; it was the one that belonged to the heavy bleeder. The guy hadn’t paid the rest of what he owed and now his time was up.

Fuck.

\---

Tora thought to slip out of his shirt before he continued and hung it up on the coat rack beside the office door. It would make clean up easier. His pants were dark and would hide the stains. 

“Again,” Vincent said. 

Tora’s arm snapped back, taut as a bow and then his fist connected with Heavy Bleeder’s nose. 

The sickening crunch of bone.

Red blood everywhere. 

The worst smell, the worst color in the world. 

“Again,” Vincent said. 

Tora cocked his arm back and Heavy Bleeder began to cry. 

“P- please, _please,_ don’t kill me,” he moaned and looked to Vincent. “Business has been slow and I… I needed to pay for my medication. I needed it to _live._ Please…”

“Not my problem,” Vincent told him calmly. “And in a moment, it won’t be your problem, either.” He turned to Tora.

“Tora, _again.”_

\---

When Tora returned to the apartment building, he went straight to Quincey’s empty penthouse. Once inside the bathroom, he snapped the water on as hot as it would go and viciously scrubbed at his hands until they felt raw. He looked at his face in the mirror; it was peppered with dark blood. 

He splashed some of the scalding water on his face and then groped along the wall for a hand towel. When he opened his eyes, his gaze settled on the little jars and bottles on the countertop, all labeled with words like ‘moisturizer’ and ‘skin cream.’ Princess had his own little skin care routine and this… _this_ was Tora’s. 

His jaw clenched.

Life was so fucking unfair. 

With one firm backhand, he sent all the containers crashing to the marble floor; some were made of glass and shattered on impact, others were plastic and bounced open, sending sticky product flying everywhere. 

Tora clenched his fists around the lip of the counter and exhaled deeply. 

Great. Another fucking mess to clean up. 

He grabbed the towel and rubbed it hard over his face until he was sure he’d removed all of Heavy Bleeder’s blood. He didn’t want Poppy to see one speck of it. 

\---

When Tora finally walked into his apartment, he was met with the sight of Poppy curled up in his hoodie, fast asleep on the couch. Her cheeks were red and splotchy; they reminded him of splattered blood and he glanced away from her face. 

He moved over to the sofa and slid his hands under her body, careful not to jostle her. He gently lifted her up, turned and then lowered himself down onto the cushions, cradling her to him like a baby. 

She opened her eyes sleepily and blinked at him. They were puffy and _red,_ just like Heavy Bleed-

Tora stared straight out into the room and tried to slow his breathing. 

Then… the soft touch of her finger on his face. She trailed it across his cheek and he felt her trying to wipe something away under his eye. 

Did he miss a spot of fucking blood?

Tora flinched and blinked back at her face, trying to focus anywhere but on her eyes and cheeks. His hands curled around her and he stared at them, inspecting them for traces of blood.

His hands. 

Did he hurt _her_ with them?

He slowly ran his palms over her chin, her neck, then skimmed them down to her elbows and knees before stopping at her ankles. No obvious swelling and it didn’t look like she had any bruises forming. 

Thank fucking Christ for that. 

If he hurt her, he’d never be able to forgive himself.

“Feels nice,” she whispered and at the sound of her voice, he drew his gaze back to her face. She offered him a small smile. 

He didn’t smile back. 

What about her mind? Her heart?

“Did I hurt ya?” his voice cracked.

“No,” she said and sat up. “I promise.”

“I’m so sorry I had ta leave you alone,” he managed to say and let his forehead fall to her shoulder. “You didn’t deserve any of this.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him tightly against her. “Can we _please_ talk about it?”

Christ, he wanted to tell her everything. 

_I’m in the mafia. I’ve done horrible things, I DO horrible things, but I don’t want to. I’m going to make it stop. I’m going to get out and give you everything you would ever need._

But he couldn’t. The more she knew, the more danger she’d be in. 

“Can’t,” he replied. 

She sighed heavily and something in his chest cracked. He hated keeping secrets from her, disappointing her. 

“Okay,” she said at last and stroked her fingers through his hair. He let her do this for a few moments and then gently set her on her feet. He stood up beside her. 

“C’mon. Lemme take ya home. You’ve been in this place too long.”

He chain-smoked the entire ride back to her apartment; partly from stress and also because it was hard for him to talk around a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He didn’t want to fuck this up any more than he already had by saying something to her that he would regret. 

She didn’t speak either and it scared the hell out of him. 

When he pulled the car up outside her gate, he turned to her. “I’ll take ya bags in, make sure ya get settled in okay and then I’ll head out, all right?”

Poppy shook her head and he felt a small spark of hope ignite in his chest. “Stay the night with me.”

Fuck, anything she wanted. 

“Ya sure you want me to?” he asked cautiously. “I mean, after…”

Her reply was instant. 

“Yes. I don’t want to be alone tonight and I don’t want you to be alone, either.”

Maybe, somehow, they could get past this and things would be all right between them again. 

“Okay,” he said and swung himself out of the car.

\---

Tora pulled back the frilly pink comforter and tried to remember the last time he’d actually slept in a _bed._ Years, maybe? He’d never stayed over at a woman’s place before; he fucked her, found relief for one goddamn moment of his life and he always left shortly afterwards. He didn’t trust being defenseless in a place he didn’t know, he never had. 

And here he was, getting ready to sleep beside the woman he loved in her bed, after he’d just _thrown_ her off his. 

If there was a hell, it was waiting for him. 

Poppy padded into the bedroom after brushing her teeth and paused at the opposite side of the bed. He froze. Maybe she changed her mind and wanted him to leave. 

Instead, she slowly stripped off her clothes until she was completely naked. 

Fucking _hell._

His eyes greedily raked in the sight of her bare skin; they roamed over her collarbones, full breasts, the rosy peaks of her nipples. The soft rolls of her stomach, the curve of her hips, the valley between her legs. 

Perfect. There was no other word for it. She was perfect.

But tonight, he didn’t want to have sex with her. 

Though he could feel his body responding to the sight of hers, he worried that emotionally she wouldn’t be prepared for it. She was just feeling confused and vulnerable after what happened a few hours ago. She wanted comfort, to feel close to someone. 

If that someone was him, the person who had made her feel that way to begin with, he knew she would regret it. 

No. 

If they ever had a first time together, it would be because they loved each other, because she was comfortable and truly ready to be with him. Not because she was reeling with sadness. 

Poppy opened her mouth to speak and he opened his, ready to tell her no. 

“I… I don’t want to have sex,” she murmured. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. I just don’t want anything between us tonight. I want to feel you. Is… is that okay?”

Relief flooded the dam in his chest and washed over his body. 

Thank Christ. He didn’t want to make her feel even worse by rejecting her on top of everything else.

“Sure,” he rasped out and shrugged himself out of his own clothes. They stared at each other’s naked bodies for a few silent moments, studying, memorizing and finally, they slipped under the covers. 

They came together in the middle of the bed, a mess of tangled arms and legs. Tora coiled himself around her as tightly as he could; he felt like he couldn’t get _close_ enough. She was so goddamn soft and her curves fit into the muscled ridges of his body perfectly, like she was molded for him. 

Poppy’s head dipped beneath his chin; he felt her press warm kisses to his throat and gradually, he could feel his body start to relax.

“Tora?” she mumbled. 

“Mmm?”

“Have you really never been to the beach?”

“Huh?”

“When I asked you why you didn’t go on vacation with Quincey, you said you’ve never been to the beach. Is that true?”

Oh, yeah. They had talked about that. It wasn’t something he usually brought up. 

“Yeah, s’true. Always wanted to go, just… didn’t.”

He could, now that he was an adult, but Vincent had battered it into his mind that he wasn’t good enough, that he didn’t _deserve_ to see a place with water and sunshine. If he went, he was afraid it would just feel… _wrong_ or that it wouldn’t live up to his childhood expectations, so he stayed far away. 

“I’m going to take you,” she said firmly. “In the early summer, when the weather starts to get warm. We’ll build sandcastles, drink lemonade and take long, barefoot walks in the sand at sunset.”

Tora let these images flicker through his mind; making a small castle with Poppy, then stomping on it together and building one even bigger and better in its place. Holding her hand and walking through wet sand on the water’s edge; he wondered how it would feel under his feet. 

Sharing drinks while they sprawled out under the sun on a big blanket. 

But he didn’t like lemonade. 

“Can we drink strawberry juice instead?” he asked. 

He felt her smile into his neck. 

“Anything you want.”

\---

“Ya know,” Tora said to Poppy as she opened her apartment door to him, “the more professional ya look, the more I wanna do _unprofessional_ things to ya.” 

Her face turned as red as the flowery shirt she was wearing. “Tora!” she squeaked and swatted at his arm like she always did. He laughed, thrilled he’d gotten the reaction he wanted. He bent down to place a kiss on her scarlet lips and then pointed at the large package and bag she was carrying. 

\--- 

Quincey was back from his vacation and he’d requested to meet with Poppy at his apartment three times already that week. He told Tora he was feeling inspired after being in a tropical place and wanted to bounce _all_ of the ideas off his little editor. 

Fine by Tora. He did all the driving for Quincey and that meant he got to spend more time alone with his girlfriend. 

He liked how Poppy dressed every day, her style was goddamn cute. But there was something about the straight slacks she wore when she met with Quincey, the skirts that rested just above her knee, the strappy high heels that drove him absolutely _nuts._ When she got into the car wearing outfits like these, he could barely keep his eyes on the road and his hands on the steering wheel. 

She was so fucking _hot_ and knowing that he couldn’t touch her once they stepped inside Quincey’s penthouse made his cock hard with pent up frustration. Every time he pulled into the parking garage at the apartment building, he couldn’t help but throw himself across the center console at her. 

He’d attack her mouth with deep, bruising kisses and cup at her breasts, dip his hands to squeeze her ass. Once, he slipped his hand down the front of her yellow slacks and fingered her right there in the parking spot. He didn’t let her come though; as soon as she started rocking her hips into his thrusts, he withdrew his hand. 

_”Toooraaa,”_ she whined, “ _please_ don’t stop.”

Fuck, he liked the idea of her squirming while she sat across from Quincey, wet and ready for the second she was alone with him again. 

Christ, he’d never stop wanting her as long as he lived.

“I’ll let ya finish later,” Tora murmured into her ear and buttoned up her pants. “Now c’mon, let’s get yer cute ass to that meeting.”

\---

“S’all this for?” Tora asked. 

“Oh, um, they’re gifts. I’m allowed to bring gifts to the apartment, aren’t I?”

“Pfft. That princess don’t need any gifts. He has more money than he knows what ta do with.”

“Well, money doesn’t matter to me. It’s nice to do nice things.”

It was one of the things he loved most about her, how nice she was. But with as demanding, self-centered and _blind_ as he chose to be, Quincey didn’t always deserve it. 

“Hmmpf,” he grumbled and reached out for the tote bag. 

“No!” she cried. 

He squinted his eyes at her. What the hell?

“Um, I’ll get this one. You can carry this?” She handed him the large package; it was wrapped in brown paper, shiny pink string and was a lot lighter than it looked. Why wasn’t she carrying _this_ one? 

“Why ya bein’ weird?” he asked. 

“I’m not.”

“Ya always let me carry ya shit before.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything, mister. Ready to go?”

Pfft. Stubborn little woman. 

When they parked in the apartment garage, he quickly glanced around outside of the car. No one in sight. He slipped one giant hand around the back of her head and pulled her to him. 

She met his lips with fervor and before long, she was half-sitting in his lap, stroking at him through his jeans. He growled and pinched roughly at her nipples through her blouse. She cried out and then she was straddling his hips in the driver’s seat, rubbing her crotch against his rigid shaft. 

He kissed and bit at her collarbone, then he felt her hands on his zipper. He stopped her. 

“Wha-?” she asked in a daze. 

He pressed a kiss to her swollen lips. “Later,” he said. 

Poppy knitted her eyebrows at him and frowned. “You… you’re a bully!” she cried. 

Tora chuckled. “And yer impatient. Don’t I always make it worth the wait?” he asked. 

She bit her lip. “Yes.”

“Tonight, when we’re back at ya place, I’ll do whatever you want me to,” he murmured. 

A splash of red darkened her cheeks as he watched her consider his words. “Okay,” she finally said, a lusty glint shining in her big brown eyes.

They exited the car and when he grabbed for the large package, she told him to leave it, that she would get it later. 

Okay, what was with her and these gifts? She was being so _weird_ about them. Why not just bring it with them?

“Whaddya mean, woman? We can just take it all now and save ourselves a trip.”

She sighed. Fucking _sighed_ at him. For what? Making sense?

 _”Tora._ I said just leave it. It’s fine, I’ll get it out later.” She shut her door and walked away from the car. 

Tora hit the lock button on the keypad. “Goddamn little hamster is bossier than ever,” he grumbled under his breath and followed after her. 

\---

“Honey, I can’t wait to introduce you to my new beau,” Quincey said as he poured Poppy a second glass of wine. “Did I tell you how we met?”

Tora rolled his eyes. Fuck if he hadn’t heard about it fifty times already. 

“It’s the cutest story: so, we met on the beach; he purposely hit his volleyball in the direction of my towel _just_ to have an excuse to talk to me. And then I lobbed some balls of my own at _him.”_

Quincey winked at Poppy and she snorted. 

Tora was not amused. 

Maybe it wasn’t fair of him, but he resented Quincey for being able to talk so openly about his relationship. Tora wanted to come home from a long vacation at the beach with Poppy and tell his friends all about it. But he couldn’t. 

Not without putting a target on her back. 

“Christ sakes, Quince,” Tora mumbled from the armchair. 

“Oh hush, you Neanderthal,” Quincey waved his hand dismissively at him. “You don’t have a romantic bone in your body, even after beta reading for me all these years. Poppy, did you see this caveman whip off his shirt at my house party back in September?” 

Fuck, was he _ever_ going to let that go?

Quincey shook his head and laughed. “I’m surprised he didn’t start beating his fists on his chest and throw the poor girl over his shoulder.”

Tora looked over at her then; her face was bright pink behind her wine glass. She glanced at him and when their eyes met, he smirked at her. 

It was kind of… _fun,_ being the only two people in the room who knew about the shit they did together. 

“Actually,” Quincey said thoughtfully, “Poppy, you’re single, aren’t you?”

Tora’s eyes snapped to his brother, then to his girlfriend. 

He knew that tone of voice and he could practically _see_ the wheels turning behind the blonde man’s eyes.

Fuck, _Quincey…_

“Mmmhmm,” she murmured and took a long drink of her wine. 

“So is Tora. You know, you’re exactly his type. He may look like a brute, but he’s really quite harmless. To cute, little females, anyway,” Quincey said. 

He needed to shut the fuck up. Right. Now. 

“Quince…” he said, levelling a warning at him with his tone.

His brother rolled his eyes at him. “What?” Then he turned back to Poppy. “On second thought, maybe he’s not _your_ type. You know, when we were kids, he used to spend his summer breaks hunting down spiders and setting them on fire to hear them scream.”

Okay, that was it. 

The first story he said he’d tell any girl that Tora brought home. Quincey was already thinking of her as a possible match for him and he couldn’t have that. 

He leaned over in his chair and smacked the blonde man in the back of the head. Faintly, he heard Poppy giggle. 

“Oh my god, you fucking monster! I’m going to tell Dad you hit me,” Quincey cried out and cradled his head in his hands. 

His brother wouldn’t be threatening him if he knew about _half_ the shit Tora had done.

“Go right ahead and do that, ya little snitch,” Tora spat at him and settled back into his chair. 

Quincey smoothed his hair back and sighed. “Actually, I wouldn’t set you up with this animal if he was the last man on earth.”

Fucking good. Just what Tora wanted to hear. 

“But you know who else is single? Kane.”

Tora’s hand itched to deliver more than just a thump to his brother’s head. Why the _fuck_ was this guy’s name always on his lips? That fucking kiss ass. Kane had probably been brainwashing Quincey the entire year Tora was in prison. 

And now, Quincey was trying to sick that motherfucker on his girlfriend. 

His jaw clenched. 

“Honestly, you two would be _perfect_ together.”

Why in the actual _fuck_ did he think that? Because they both served him, Young Master Balthuman, without question, without challenge and that made them compatible in his eyes? Or… did Poppy like Kane before she met Tora? Did she tell Quincey that? 

Tora thought back to their first dinner together, when she told him she’d tried to call Kane first. She said she’d been lying about that. 

But… what if she wasn’t?

“I don’t know why I didn’t think to set the two of you up before,” Quincey said. 

Tora fired up a cigarette. 

“Ahh, Quincey, I’m honestly happy just being single and doing my own thing,” Poppy spoke up in a rush. “But if any of that changes, you’ll be the first to know. Based on your books, you seem like THE expert on love and relationships.”

Hmmpf.

At some point, Poppy had learned how to distract Quincey; probably came with the territory of being his editor. He was thankful, because his brother needed to drop this damn topic like a bad habit.

“Of course, honey! I mean, I must be doing something right. I’m living quite the fairy tale right now,” Quincey gushed. “And I can always respect a strong, independent woman. You _have_ to be, especially when _this_ one-“ he hooked a thumb in Tora’s direction “-is driving you to see me. I can’t imagine dealing with him is easy.” Quincey smirked at him. “The first time Tora gives you any trouble, you let me know. Just say the word and I’ll send Kane to collect you instead.”

Red. 

All Tora saw was red.

Then he saw flashes of images that stung his brain: Kane, carrying Poppy’s bag. Walking her down her apartment stairs and to his black car, holding her hand across the center console. 

Ravaging her in the parking garage. 

_Red._

He couldn’t stay here or he’d break Quincey’s goddamn neck. 

He leaned forward and stubbed out his cigarette, then stormed out of the room. 

\---

Tora stalked into the kitchen, pacing feverishly at the thought of Kane driving Poppy, touching Poppy, kissing Poppy. 

Poppy letting him. 

_Shit._

Kane could have Quincey.

Poppy was _his._

Tora was going to kill him.

 _Fucking Christ,_ he needed to calm down. 

He gripped the edge of the countertop and attempted to steady his erratic breathing. 

_My desires are on their way to me._

Deep inhale, slow exhale.

 _My desires are on their way to me._

A moment later, Tora could distantly hear Quincey excuse himself and then the click of his bedroom door shutting. 

_My desires are on-_

Poppy’s voice drifted into the room somewhere behind him, but he barely heard her over the blood roaring in his ears. 

“Tora?”

He could hear the clicking of her heels as she approached and then stood beside him. A soft giggle left her lips as she ran her hand over the surface of the counter. “Hey, isn’t this where I bled all over-“

She was _his._

Tora gave in to the animalistic urges inside of him and slammed his lips against hers. He demanded entrance to her mouth with his tongue and with a deep gasp, she granted it to him. Instantly, his cock went rock solid inside his jeans.

He circled his arms around her waist and hoisted her onto the counter, where he nipped and sucked at her neck so hard that he thought he’d leave a mark.

Fuck it. So what if he did?

Instead of telling him to stop, she moaned and panted in his ear so hard that he thought she might pass out. 

More. He needed more. 

He returned his lips to her mouth, ravaged it with hard, bruising kisses and roughly squeezed at her breasts through her blouse. He shifted his hands down to the hem of her shirt with the thought to pull it off her but stopped when he felt the waistband of her black skirt. 

He wanted to do something he’d _never_ done to her before, wanted to show her that he could take her pleasure with him to new heights. 

Tora hiked her skirt around her waist.

“I wanna taste ya,” he growled and looked to her eyes for permission. 

Breathless, she nodded and he dipped his head between her legs. 

He didn’t even tease her with his hands like he normally did; with one finger, he shoved her underwear to the side and slicked his tongue against her. 

Christ, she was soaking wet and the way she _tasted…_ Mostly sweet, a little sour, clean. 

Fucking _hell,_ he could lose himself down here and never want to be found. 

He heard her moan and immediately slid his free hand over her mouth. He may have been feeling feral and out of control, but the _last_ thing he wanted was for Quincey to have a reason to walk in and see his editor like this. He never wanted to compromise her job or her dignity, but he also wasn’t about to stop. 

She needed to be quiet.

Tora could feel her hot breath against his hand as he continued to work at her; he licked quick, random patterns across her dripping folds and then he thrust his tongue inside of her, mimicking the motions he wanted to do to her with his cock. 

Suddenly she fell onto her back on the counter and his eyes darted up long enough to see her clasp her hand around her mouth. 

As he continued to pump his tongue inside her, he heard small cries seep out from behind her palm.

Not good enough. 

He teased two fingers at her entrance; when her hips started to writhe against his touch, he plunged them into her and sucked her clit into his mouth, determined to make her come. 

Fingers, in and out, as deep and fast as he could. Tongue, rolling across her clit, over and over.

Then on a choked moan and a sob, she came; her back arched away from the counter and her thighs quivered wildly around his face. 

Tora pulled his head away and hovered over her. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her mouth was curled up in a smile. She was still panting and he realized his own breathing was as uneven as her own. 

“Ya like that?” he rasped out. 

For a moment, she didn’t answer him. She wiped the tears from her eyes and her breath eventually returned to her. 

“Yeah,” she finally murmured. “Can- can we do it again soon?”

Fuck _yes,_ they could.

Tora smirked down at her and then softly kissed her lips. “Yer mine, right?”

He knew it sounded stupid. He already knew the answer. 

But he needed to hear her say it. 

She blinked up at him. “Of _course,_ Tora.”

“Then I’ll do whatever ya want.”

\---

When they left the apartment and approached Quincey’s car, Poppy’s package and pink tote bag caught Tora’s eye from the back seat. 

“Almost forgot about those,” he pointed at them. “Did ya want to run ‘em up to the princess real quick?”

She shook her head. “Actually, they’re not for him.”

Huh?

“Then who are they for?”

She smiled at him. “They’re for you.”

Tora raised an eyebrow at her. “Fer me?”

“Mmmhmm. Come on, let’s get them out and you can open them in your apartment.”

_Poppy, sprawled out on the floor._

_Tears in her eyes._

“Bobby, I can open ‘em out here. Ya don’t need to go back in there.”

“Tora, it’s fine, really. I promise. This will be fun. Now, will you grab that one?” She pointed at the large package.

The bossy little hamster was back.

He sighed and reached into the car to grab it. “Whatever ya want, sweetheart.”

\---

After Tora had pulled the door closed and locked it behind them, she sat down on the sofa and patted the seat next to her. He planted himself beside her; she took the large package from him and balanced it on her knees. The tote bag sat at his feet. 

“Which one should I open first?” he asked. He’d never been given a… _choice_ before.

“I’ll let you pick,” she said.

He looked between both packages before finally settling on the bigger one. He needed to know what the hell he’d been carrying all day. 

He tore the paper and string away and was met with the sight of a painted canvas; a sunset beach scene full of rich shades of blue, orange and pink. If he squinted hard enough, he could see the two of them there in his mind, walking on the shoreline. 

In the bottom right hand corner was Poppy’s signature.

Tora sucked in his breath. 

What? _She_ made this… for _him?_

“Bobby,” he said softly, afraid that if he were to say it too loud, it might not be true, “ya painted this?”

She nodded. “Yup, just for you. I know it’ll be a few months before we can actually go to the beach, so I wanted to give you something to hold you over until then.”

He said nothing. Couldn’t.

“And,” she said, reaching down into the bag, “I didn’t think you’d be able to hang it here with nails, so I made sure to grab some of these adhesive strips and hooks. They should stick to the wall no problem.”

He couldn’t stop staring at the painting.

She had to love him back. She just _had_ to.

He was an idiot for ever thinking otherwise.

“Don’t forget, you have one more present down by your feet,” she said.

He gently passed the painting over to her and reached down for the bag. Inside was a plant he didn’t recognize in an orange pot; it had tall shoots with waxy, smooth dark green leaves. 

_Would it survive here?_

He looked over at her. “What’s this one?” 

Poppy smiled brightly at him. “It’s a ZZ plant.”

Okay, two letters. Easy to remember.

“It’s low maintenance, you shouldn’t have to water it more than once a week. The best thing about it is that it can grow just fine in low lit areas. It’s a pretty good starter plant.”

Tora looked back over at the ZZ plant and ran his hand along its shiny shoots before setting it down on the floor. 

He turned and faced her, this little woman who had whirled into his life and by some miracle thought him worthy of her cooking, time. Her body, her trust. Her art, her light and love. 

Her heart.

“Well,” she said after a few moments of silence, “do you like them?”

He leaned forward and kissed her firmly. “I _love_ them,” he whispered against her lips. “Bobby… I love ya. I love ya so goddamn much it hurts.”

He held his breath and then felt her smile against his mouth. 

“I love you too, Tora.”


	10. Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So these scenes were not initially meant to be as long as they turned out, but as always, you get Lily's characters chatting in your brain and they do not. shut. up. 😂 This update is not Poppy and Tora oriented, so you are safe from the break up scene! (Until the next update, anyway...) 😥
> 
> While our favorite couple is the main focus of the comic and my story Stages, told from both points of view, I thought it would (hopefully!) be interesting to provide more insight on Tora's relationship with Quincey. That being said, for some reason, I'm super nervous about this one haha. Maybe it's because it's a bit different from what I've written previously? Or because it's not Poppy/Tora centered. Who knows? lol
> 
> I'm hoping to get the next chapter up in the next few days; I've been listening to A LOT of Jeff Buckley to get myself in that particular mood lol. 
> 
> Thank you all for being here, I appreciate you more than you know 🧡
> 
> Love you all and see you soon! 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Words are flowing out  
Like endless rain into a paper cup  
They slither while they pass  
They slip away across the universe  
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy  
Are drifting through my opened mind  
Possessing and caressing me”  
-The Beatles, “Across the Universe”

\---

Tora pulled Quincey’s car into the alleyway outside of Goliath’s old apartment and when he shifted it into park, he sighed heavily. He hadn’t been here in a couple of weeks; he tried not to visit too often and risk someone noticing a pattern. No one knew where this hide-out was and Tora planned on keeping it that way. 

Tora climbed the stairs to Goliath’s unit and unlocked the door. This apartment was the closest thing to a grave site that he had for his brother, his _real_ brother. Moments after he was killed, Tora had been arrested and dragged away. The last time he saw Goliath’s body, it was bleeding out on the concrete floor of an old warehouse. 

His remains would have been released to family after the investigation ended, but Tora was his only living blood relative and he was serving a prison sentence. Eventually, he was cremated and his ashes were scattered somewhere of no significance. 

Dust in the wind, as if he never existed. 

He closed then locked the door behind him and settled himself on the old green couch. Though it was dead quiet, Tora could practically hear Goliath trying to rile him up as he paced back and forth in front of him.

_”Get the fuck up, ya behemoth. Yer a goddamn tiger, not a pussy. If you don’t get out there and do somethin’ ‘bout Vincent, then I will.”_

Little fucking punk. 

Christ, he missed him. 

Before this morning, it had been awhile since he’d spoken to anyone about Goliath; Quincey always changed the subject and Gyu was so busy working a million jobs that he hated to bother him with it. 

The one person he _truly_ wanted to talk to about Goliath was Poppy, but it was impossible. He knew himself well enough that once he got going about his brother, he’d end up telling her everything and that couldn’t happen. 

In fact, the only person he’d talked to recently about Goliath happened to be the _last_ one he wanted to discuss him with. 

\---

He thought back to earlier that morning and the desperate call he’d received from his boss. He was in rare fucking form, barking at him to come to his office immediately. Vincent was so shaken up, so rattled, that Tora didn’t even respond to Poppy’s good morning text. 

He fucking hated when Vincent got like this. 

It made him anxious as hell.

When Tora walked through the heavy, wooden double doors of Vincent’s office, he was met with the sight and sound of his boss slamming a marble angel statue to the floor. It broke into random pieces, some large, some shattered and some obliterated into dust. 

While he was happy to see the creepy fucking thing go, he wished he hadn’t been present for one of Vincent’s little tantrums. When his boss grabbed a golf club and began hacking away at what remained of the statue, Tora pulled a cigarette from his hoodie pocket and fired it up. 

“You done or do ya need another minute?” Tora asked indifferently as he exhaled a puff of smoke. 

Vincent glared his ice blue eyes at him and his whole body trembled. “If you’re _taunting_ me, Tora, now’s a very bad time,” he spat.

“Just anxious ta hear what it is ya gotta tell me,” Tora replied around his cigarette. 

“Hmmm. For some reason, I feel as though you already know what this is about,” the older man said. 

“Like I told ya on the phone, I don’t.”

Vincent stared at him silently, chest heaving, hair mussed. 

“If ya don’t trust me, then why’d ya call me over?” Tora asked casually. “If ya got somethin’ that needs done, get Martin or one of his boys to do it. I bet they’d love ta help you out. Then again, I’m just the muscle ‘round here, so what do I know?”

Suddenly Vincent was smoothing his hair back and straightening his suit jacket. “Of _course_ I trust you,” he smiled. “Come on over, have a seat. We haven’t had a chat in awhile.”

Pfft. Typical. Vincent could be played as easily as his son. 

“What do you mean, ‘you’re just the muscle’?” Vincent asked as they sat down on two lavish office chairs. “You’ve got more brains in a cell than Martin and his clowns put together. Take Kane, for instance,” he chuckled, “what a _damn_ fool. If Martin hadn’t been so adamant on giving him a chance, he’d be lying in a gutter somewhere, I’d make sure of th-”

Tora exhaled a plume of smoke in Vincent’s direction. “Just get to the point or I’m leavin’.”

He’d heard enough about fucking Kane to last him a lifetime. 

Vincent smiled at him. “Right,” he said and threw a newspaper down onto the coffee table in front of them. 

There were two major headlining articles; both about the Balthuman clan. One was about shareholders withdrawing from the organization after the explosion of a luxury yacht and the other focused on the infestation of hundreds of rodents at several clan-owned clubs and restaurants. 

“Do you know who’s behind this?” Vincent asked calmly. 

Pfft. He didn’t have a damn clue, but he wished he did. 

He wanted to shake their hand. 

“Those _friends_ of your brother’s, the Ninedaggers scum,” he hissed. 

_What the fuck?_

When they’d discussed the Ninedaggers at the last clan meeting, Tora thought it was just some punk kids making empty threats at Balthuman members on the sidewalk. They were probably all talk, just like his brother had been. He didn’t know they were capable of… _this._

They were an actual threat. 

Good. 

“I told ya, I ain’t ever heard of ‘em,” Tora replied, glaring hard into Vincent’s eyes. 

“So they… mean nothing to you?” his boss asked, reaching across the table for his glass of scotch on the rocks.

The clinking of the ice cubes sent sharp memories digging into Tora’s mind; they cut deep and made his head hurt. Vincent, slapping at him with a belt in one hand, drink in the other. Vincent shoving him into a dog kennel one-handed, sweating glass in the other. Vincent, eating and drinking in front of him after starving him for two days. 

_”No,”_ Tora hissed. 

Vincent perked up, seemingly pleased with his answer. “Well, then, in that case, I’d ask a favor of you, if I could.”

Tora said nothing. 

“I _know_ you don’t do this sort of thing anymore, not since you started looking after my Quincey boy, but… I need someone to send a message to these little Ninedaggers cunts and anyone else who may be thinking it wise to join them.”

Tora played dumb. “Kinda favor?”

Vincent furrowed his brows at him. “Take them out, son. Like I trained you.”

If he had a choice, the answer was no.

Tora stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray. “Yer right. Don’t do that anymore.”

“I know, I know, it’s _silly_ of me to even ask,” Vincent chuckled. “But you would be rewarded handsomely for… your _loyalty._ Don’t you want a new Ferrari? A penthouse apartment like Quincey? Or maybe a mansion on the beach… I know you’ve always wanted to go.”

Tora’s jaw clenched.

 _Prove_ himself to Vincent?

Hadn’t he been doing that his whole fucking life?

“Got enough money,” he said.

“Yes, yes, of course. Just think about it, won’t you, and let me know in a week’s time? I really can’t let this sit any longer than that.”

Tora pushed himself from the chair and stood. 

“I look forward to hearing from you, son,” he heard Vincent call after him as he stalked out the doors. 

\---

Tora stood from the green couch and wandered around the living room; it was dusty, cold and shadowed. It really did feel like a tomb. 

He padded over to a beat-up bookshelf and as he thumbed through some old comics and a dog-eared book called _The Mental Game of Poker,_ he wondered whatever came of Goliath’s notebook. He used to carry it everywhere.

_”I’m formin’ a rival clan and we’re gonna take down the Balthumans. We’ll stick it to Vincent nine ways to Sunday, me ‘n the Ninedaggers.”_

_”Those friends of your brother’s, the Ninedaggers scum.”_

“Hmmpf, ya really did somethin’ for once, didn’t ya? Ya got him shakin’ in his fancy shoes, at the very least,” Tora chuckled to himself and picked up a pack of cards from the shelf. It had a picture of the ace of spades on it, same as the tattoo that covered Goliath’s right hand. 

Little fucker loved to gamble.

“Hearin’ that name come out of Vincent’s mouth… almost felt like you were still here, tryin’ ta tell me somethin’...”

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

_Quince, 1 New Message_

_Hey booboo <3 Could you come help me out with some beta-reading? It’s the sizzling hot pirate love story, I know how much you like that one. Let me know when you’re on your way ;) xoxo_

Tora rolled his eyes.

Fucking Christ. 

He replaced the deck of cards on the shelf, took one last look around the room and said a silent goodbye to his brother before he left to meet Quincey.

\---

“The scent of salt water drifted through the open window and candlelight danced on the walls around them. Bastian kissed her deeply and Claudia’s breaths began to quicken under his touch. Bastian could feel her thighs trembling beneath his palms and he knew she was ready. Slowly, he drew out his…” 

Quincey sighed. “Okay, so _this_ is where I get stumped,” he said as Tora tapped at the game controller in his hands. _”Obviously_ I’m referring to his penis, but what’s a better word for it? His… cock? Dick? Member? Shaft? Prick? Maybe length? Or… something more piratey sounding? His… long sword? No, that’s silly, but something _like_ that could work…”

Tora snorted around the cigarette in his mouth and threw a grenade into the horde of zombie soldiers in front of him. Between his meeting with Vincent and visiting his little brother’s old hide-out, his whole morning had just felt… _off._

He was so worked up that he still hadn’t responded to Poppy’s text and by the time he realized it, he was in the middle of beta-reading with Quincey. He’d have to send her a message after. As if the princess would let him on his phone right now, in the middle of all this… penis talk.

“What do you think, honey?” Quincey asked. 

“Just… call it what it is, Quince,” he grumbled as he began to loot one of the undead soldier’s bodies. “S’a penis, plain ‘n simple. Why ya gotta dress it up? No matter whatcha call it, he’s only gonna do one thing with it, ain’t he?”

Quincey sighed heavily. “Because it’s _smut,_ Tora. People don’t want to read about penises and vaginas, like they’re flipping through a brochure at the doctor’s office. They want dirty, sexy words like cock and pussy… it’s the language of _lust._ Do you get what I’m saying?”

Tora shrugged and tapped open his weapons screen. He stole a quick glance at his phone screen on the coffee table. Another message from Poppy and his fingers itched to answer her. 

Fuck.

The blonde man clapped a hand to his forehead. “Honestly, why do I keep wasting my time trying to explain all of this to a Neanderthal? You just don’t… get it.”

Tora’s grip around the controller tightened. 

Just two nights before at Poppy’s apartment, his mouth had been buried in her and she’d cried out his name so loudly, it was a wonder the whole building didn’t hear her. Afterwards, when she was satisfied and lying in his arms, she told him she loved him. 

And he thought Tora didn’t get it? Like _fuck_ he didn’t.

But he couldn’t tell Quincey that.

Christ, he just didn’t _care_ about this shit anymore. Hearing about Quincey, talking about Quincey. They never talked about anything that mattered, so what the fuck was he even doing here?

Tora set the controller down on the coffee table and put his cigarette out in the ashtray. He turned to Quincey. “If I’m so fucking _bad_ at this,” he growled, “then why did ya text me?”

“Well, it’s not like you were my first choice! Poppy is busy trying to get her first article out, so I didn’t want to bother her. I called Kane this morning and-“

Distantly he could hear Poppy’s voice in the back of his mind.

_”Well, I tried calling Kane first, but it went straight to his voicemail. That guy never charges his phone."_

His jaw clenched.

What the _fuck_ was with his name coming out of everyone’s mouths?

Fucking _enough._

“What, yer precious yes man finally told ya no? And here I thought he was always so anxious ta talk yer cock off,” Tora sneered, cutting him off.

Quincey blinked at him and frowned. “For your information, he was running errands for Martin, but told me they could wait if I really needed him. I told him not to worry about it, I’d just text you instead.”

“Pfft. ‘Course he did. Anything for Big Boss Balthuman’s son, huh?”

Quincey opened his mouth, then closed it and gazed down into his journal. “Well, at least _he’s_ there for me,” he mumbled. 

Tora’s hands clenched into tight fists. “Wanna run that by me again, Quince?”

Red.

Red.

He snapped his journal shut and when his eyes shot back up to Tora’s, they were glassy with tears. _”He was there for me!”_ he cried out. “Remember everything that happened a year ago? Kane was there for me. You _weren’t.”_

_Red._

_Un. Fucking. Believable._

Tora stood up so his large frame towered over him. “So sorry, princess, but I musta missed the part where I _asked_ ta go to prison,” he hissed.

Tears poured freely down the blonde man’s cheeks. “That’s exactly what I mean! Goliath was killed and then you went to prison. You _never_ called and when you finally put me on your visitor’s list, it was right before you were getting out! It was like you _both died,”_ Quincey gasped out.

Tora felt something in his chest crack.

Fuck. Shit. _Fuck._

He’d never thought about it that way before. Tora didn’t call or see anyone until the last few weeks of his sentence. He’d been in such a dark, miserable place, eaten up with so much grief and rage that he didn’t want anyone to see him like that. It scared _him,_ so he could only imagine how it would make other people feel.

He didn’t think Quincey would take it so _personal._

But he should’ve known it would go down like that; he always thought about himself first.

“Quinceton, I didn’t talk ta _anyone_ -“

“That’s not true,” Quincey barked out. “Stop lying to spare my feelings! I know you called Kane and I know you put him on your list. He went and saw you three times before you had your latest little spat. He said you told him to stop coming or you’d kill him when you got out. Maybe your grief was speaking for you then, but _Jesus,_ Tora…”

Fucking Christ, he _knew_ it. Kane had been filling his brother’s ears with shit since the day he’d been locked up. 

But why was it so easy for Quincey to believe it?

“Quincey, listen to me. You and Gyu were the only two people on my visitor’s list. I wasn’t… ready to see anyone before that. And I _never_ called that sick fuck…”

“I saw the calls come through on his caller id, Tora,” Quincey said. “They were from the Narin Federal Prison. I saw the letters he sent you, too. Kane talked to you all the time.”

“I’m not the only one he knew in prison,” Tora said through gritted teeth. “Claude’s lil’ brother was in there, too. Still is. And just ‘cuz he wrote me letters doesn’t mean he ever sent ‘em. I’m tellin’ ya, I-”

A noise came out of Quincey’s mouth then; it sounded halfway between a sob and a laugh. He waved his hand dismissively at him. “It’s fine, Tora. I’m a big boy and I’m used to this. After all, it’s what we’ve been doing since we were kids. You shit on me, I sit back and take it and then we just pretend it never happened. It’s what brothers do, right?” he said, his tone mocking. 

Images of he and Goliath bullying him as kids flickered behind Tora’s eyes: throwing shit to knock Quincey off his bike when they saw him riding up behind them, drawing dicks and writing cuss words on his face with permanent marker while he slept, beating him up and taking his pants so he’d have to go back to class half-naked. 

Fuck, why wasn’t he nicer to him? Because he was hurting so _much_ that it made him feel better to hurt others? Quincey was a snitch and a crybaby, but he didn’t deserve half the shit they did to him. 

He guessed that’s why he agreed to the idea of “the code”, their SOS text messaging system, when Quincey came up with it. Tora felt guilty for always picking on him and this was a way of showing he cared without actually having to _say_ it.

Maybe he should.

“I’m sorry for how I treated ya when we were growin’ up, Quince,” Tora said quietly and lowered himself back down onto the sofa. “Don’t think I ever told ya that before. Just assumed ya always knew it. Yer…” 

He trailed off, the words waiting to take flight from his tongue. Fuck, not a week ago he’d told a woman he loved her for the first time in his _life._ He could say this to Quincey.

“Yer the closest friend I got,” he mumbled, staring at a corner of the room. 

Quincey sniffled away his tears and a wide smile broke across his face. “I know, honey,” he said and flipped his journal open on his lap. “It’s why I keep you around. I’d feel sorry for you if you didn’t have me.” He winked at him. 

“Pfft. Fuck you, Quinceton.”

“I mean, sure… but you might have to ask Jonathan for his consent first. He doesn’t like to share.”

Tora shook his head and chuckled, feeling lighter towards Quincey than he had in weeks. Was _this_ what happened every time you talked openly about your feelings? 

He thought back to the night he told Poppy he loved her. 

In his life, he’d been abused, shot at, stabbed, served a prison sentence, but waiting for her response was the scariest thing that ever happened to him.

But he said it, she heard him and smiled against his mouth. 

Then, she said it _back._

It had worked out exactly the way he’d hoped.

Maybe he could get Quincey to see reason when it came to Kane.

“Quincey, ‘bout Kane…” he began.

His brother waved a hand at him again. “Really, Tora, it’s fine. Let’s just move past it. Please leave me out of your drama with him, okay? I don’t want to be in the middle.”

Red.

Tora sighed deeply. 

He’d try again.

“Listen, that whole time I was in prison, he was _lying_ to-“

Tora was cut off by the sound of buzzing; someone was at the front entrance.

“You expectin’ visitors?” he asked Quincey as he crossed the room to the intercom.

“No, not that I’m aware of,” Quincey replied. 

Then the last voice, the last _words_ he ever wanted to hear came through the speaker.

“Hey, it’s Kane. I got Poppy here with me. Okay to let her in?”

Red. 

Red. 

Red. 

_Red._

_RED._

Tora stabbed the talk button so hard he thought he broke it. 

_”Send her up.”_


	11. Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter broke me all over again, to the point where I felt the need to shove my face into a thing of ice cream. And I just know the next one is going to be even worse lol. It's weird to say I hope you enjoy this update because of how sad it is, so instead, I'm just going to say... cry with me, won't you? 
> 
> Thank you all for being here, for reading, commenting and showing your support in all the other little ways you do. You've made slipping back into the writing game the easiest, most rewarding thing in the world.
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head  
And as I climb into an empty bed, oh well, enough said  
I know it's over still I cling, I don't know where else I can go 

Over and over

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head  
You see the sea wants to take me, the knife wants to slit me  
Do you think you can help me?”  
-“I Know It’s Over,” covered by Jeff Buckley

\---

Tora watched out the peephole for Poppy and as soon as he caught a glimpse of her, he whipped the door open before she could even knock. 

“Poppylan, what the _fuck_ are you doin’ here?” he hissed. “With _him?”_

She blinked at him and looked bewildered by his words, even saddened. He’d never talked to her like that before; in fact, if he heard someone treating her the way he was right now, he’d beat their ass. 

But he was so fucking _angry,_ so dangerously close to how he’d felt sitting in his prison cell all those months ago. He was scaring her, scaring himself, but he didn’t care. 

What the ever living _fuck_ was she thinking?

Her expression changed then, her features also twisted up in anger. “For your information, Quincey _invited_ me here,” she spat. “Maybe if you had checked your stupid phone and answered me-“

Oh, this little fucking shit. 

He opened his mouth to sneer back at her but was interrupted by Quincey’s voice calling out from behind him. “Tora? Are you going to let my little editor inside?”

His eyes bore down into hers, baiting her, challenging her. She stared furiously back at him, her little shoulders heaving with ragged breaths. Finally, he let out a growl and moved aside to allow her in. 

“Hi, honey!” Quincey waved from the couch as she stepped into the room, Tora hot on her heels. “What are you doing here, darling? Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, of course, but I don’t think we had a meeting scheduled today…”

Tora glared down at the back of Poppy’s head; he couldn’t _wait_ to hear what goddamn excuse she had for driving around with Kane. 

In the end, she couldn’t win; there was no reason good enough. 

“Oh, um, Kane picked me up from work. He said you were feeling inspired and requested to see me at the last minute,” she said. 

Of. Fucking. Course.

After Quincey’s phone call that morning, Kane knew that Tora would be held hostage beta-reading with him all day. He swooped right in when Poppy left work and offered her a ride, knowing Tora would be powerless to stop him. 

Kane probably wasn’t even running errands for Martin when Quincey called; knowing him, he’d set the whole thing up to get Tora pinned. 

Fuck, he _knew_. 

Why else would he go through all this trouble to bring Poppy here? And _lie_ about it? Somehow he’d found out about them and he wanted Tora to know it. 

Poppy was in danger. 

He had to try to get Quincey to see it; surely it would be easy to convince him of Kane’s lies now, with the proof laid right out in front of him. 

“The fuck is she talkin’ about, Quince?” Tora asked and with every word he spoke, he could feel his body vibrating with fury. “I’ve been beta reading with ya all afternoon and you haven’t touched yer phone once.”

His brother tapped his pen to his lip, looking thoughtful for a moment.

Christ, even someone as blind as Quincey could see that something was off. What the fuck was taking him so long?

“Hmm, I’m not sure. Sounds like it was just a simple misunderstanding,” he finally said and Tora’s eyes hardened; he could feel his body sparking with rage. 

“Maybe he was trying to do you a favor and relieve you of your reading duties by bringing in a substitute,” Quincey chuckled.

He’d never been so goddamn disappointed in his brother in his entire life.

“The hell? He fuckin’ _lied_ to her, Quinceton. Don’t tell me you-“

Quincey sighed at him, fucking _sighed_ and waved his hand at him carelessly. If he dismissed him with his hand one more _time_ today, Tora was going to break every single one of his fingers.

“Tora, not this again. I swear you’ve been squabbling with Kane like this since we were kids. Honey, when are you going to get over this weird little feud you have with him?”

His jaw clenched and he said nothing. 

Quincey was too far gone, too conditioned to think a certain way. It was useless to try to get him to see reason, Tora understood that now. Kane had his claws in too deep. 

“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble,” Poppy spoke up quietly. “I can take a cab home…”

Tora opened his mouth to protest, but Quincey beat him to it. “Don’t be ridiculous!” he said and patted the seat next to him. “Come, sit down. You can take Tora’s place for the evening. I’m sure you’ll have better feedback for me, anyway.” 

Quincey stood up. “I’ll go pour us some wine and put some pants on. Make yourself comfortable!” He turned and wandered off into the kitchen. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Poppy look up at him. 

“I-“

He couldn’t talk to her right now. Not here. 

_”Fuckin’ save it,”_ he spat at her. “Come downstairs when ya done up here.”

He stalked to the door and slammed it shut behind him before she could respond.

\---

Once Tora was inside his own apartment, he closed the door behind him but didn’t lock it. What if Kane showed up and Poppy needed to get to safety quickly? What if in the time it took Tora to turn the lock, something awful happened to her?

He shook his head, disappointed in himself for being so rattled, so shaken and out of control. God damnit, it wasn’t even that he was angry with her; he was fucking _terrified._ He knew what Kane was capable of, even if she didn’t. She didn’t really know Kane at all.

And she just got into the car with him, like he was a stranger with candy. 

_Fuck._

He thought about heading to the gym or going for a run to calm himself, but he didn’t want to leave the building, not after he’d seen how daring Kane had chosen to be with Poppy. No, he needed to stay close by in case she needed him. 

Tora couldn’t sit still. He paced the room and read the messages Poppy had sent him. She wanted to know if he'd like to go on a date: get dinner, go see a movie and maybe spend the night?

Hmmpf. It sounded like fun, he loved taking her on dates. But fat chance of any of that happening now. 

He set his phone down, watered the ZZ plant, then stood and stared at Poppy’s painting for a few minutes, thinking back to what she’d said the night she gave it to him. 

_”When you look at the ocean from a boat, it’s never in a straight line. The waves roll you back and forth and the boat leaves a wake behind it. It never looks perfect. Try to imagine: we’re on a boat, just you and me and we’re watching the ocean move and part around us. Do you see it?”_

He did see it. 

He wanted to be there with her now, more than ever. 

He stared silently at the canvas for another moment and then planted himself on the couch. He could play video games while he waited for her? Nah, the only ones he had were violent war and shooter games; they’d probably just upset him even more.

Tora tapped open the Netflix app, desperate for something to distract him from the burning pangs in his chest. He could put on the action movie he started with Poppy; he’d fallen asleep on the couch halfway through and never finished it. 

Thoughts of her crying, sprawled out on the concrete floor stabbed at his brain. 

Nah, something else. 

He flipped through the movie lists before he settled on Pride n’ Peaceful; it was quiet and soft and maybe it would relax him. 

\---

Tora made it to the part in the movie where Elizabeth confronted Mr. Darcy about his treatment of that douchebag Mr. Wickham and he was getting so worked up that he had to turn it off. 

What the _fuck_ was it with these women just taking the word of these goddamn assholes as truth? Why were they so blind and trusting? He guessed he couldn’t fault Elizabeth too much; Mr. Darcy never warned her that Mr. Wickham was a motherfucker. But Poppy? How many times had he told her to _stay away_ from Kane?

His jaw clenched and he threw the remote to the floor. He propped his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands; what the fuck was he going to do? How could he make her understand without telling her everything about the mafia, Kane and Goliath? Fuck, he couldn’t even get Quincey, his own _brother_ to believe him.

_Why didn’t anyone believe him?_

A knock at the door, followed by Poppy’s voice.

“Tora? It’s me.”

“Come in,” he barked back at her and the door opened. He didn’t look up, but he heard her walk in and then felt the cushion dip as she seated herself beside him. He felt the gentle grip of her fingers as they wrapped around his wrist. 

“Hey…” she began and Tora’s head snapped up at the door. 

He’d never heard it close.

Christ, did she _ever_ listen to a fucking thing he said?

“God damnit, Poppylan, don’t leave the fuckin’ door open,” he growled. He ripped his arm from her grasp and stormed over to slam the door shut.

He stood with his back to her. He couldn’t look at her right now, he just _couldn’t._

Timidly, he heard her speak up from behind him. “I’m- I’m sorry…”

 _”How many times do I have to tell ya to stay the fuck away from Kane?”_ he hissed. 

“Tora, it’s not that big of a deal,” she replied. “It was a misunderstanding. After you didn’t answer your phone _all day,_ he came to pick me up for a meeting with Quincey. What’s wrong with that? I’m safe and I’m here. I don’t understand why…”

_Not that big of a deal?_

Did her own boyfriend’s judgment and advice mean nothing to her? Did she… really think that little of his opinions, his insight?

He turned around to look at her and immediately tears began to form in her eyes. His eyes flitted away from hers; fuck, he felt close to crying himself. 

“Not that big of a deal? He fuckin’ _lied_ to you. He lured ya into his car. Quincey never sent him one goddamn message. Ya know how I know that? ‘Cuz I was with him all fuckin’ day. You know same as me that Quincey doesn’t touch his phone when he’s beta reading. Ya think he lets me on _my_ phone? Fuck no. S’why I didn’t answer ya. Christ.” 

Tora raked his hands through his hair. Fuck, he couldn’t get them to stop shaking. 

“I’m sorry!” she cried out. “I didn’t know.” She paused and sniffled back her tears. 

“Come to think of it,” she finally said, “I never know _anything,_ Tora.”

His teeth clenched together. 

“The fuck ya talkin’ ‘bout?”

In an instant, she was on her feet and facing him, tiny hands curled into fists at her sides. “You never tell me anything!” she yelled. “You want to get pissy and angry when I accept a ride from Kane _for work_ but you won’t tell me _why!_ He’s been a complete gentleman to me. What’s so wrong with him, huh? What’s wrong with _you?”_

Tora felt like she’d slapped him; the skin around his eyes stung from her words. What was wrong with _him?_

Quincey’s words from earlier jostled around in his head. 

_”He was there for me! Remember everything that happened a year ago? Kane was there for me. You weren’t.”_

_“He’s been a complete gentleman to me. What’s so wrong with him, huh? What’s wrong with you?”_

The last time Kane had been there for Tora, he was offering to help load bricks of coke into the back of a van. He'd fucking shorted them with the intention of getting the brothers killed and then ratted them out to the cops, just in case.

_Goliath’s body, bleeding out on a dirty concrete floor._

When his gaze finally flickered back to hers, tears were pouring freely down her cheeks and she pushed them away. 

“I’ve known that fuck since we were kids,” he spat. “If ya don’t want to trust my judgment…”

“I do trust you, Tora! But it feels like you don’t trust _me,_ not enough to tell me what’s really going on with you.”

_Fuck._

He didn’t know why he thought he could avoid this conversation with her forever. He’d thought about telling her every damn day, but it was never like this. 

He was never feeling hurt or… _furious_ at her. 

Poppy stomped up to him and shoved her palms against his chest. “Just tell me what’s wrong!”

With every question, she shoved the heels of her hands into him. 

“Why are we really sneaking around?”

Red. 

“Why do you hate Kane so much?”

Red. 

_”Why the fuck won’t you just talk to m-“_

_Red._

_”I’m in the fuckin’ mafia!”_ he bellowed. 

She froze.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

He wanted to stop, pause this conversation for when they were feeling calmer, but once those words had broken the dam of his mouth, he couldn’t stop. 

“Is that what ya want to hear? How I was forced in when I was a damn kid and I’ve done things that would haunt you _forever_ if ya knew?”

She said nothing while he continued to say _everything._

Tora pulled his hair away to expose the clan tattoo on his neck. “The Balthuman brand,” he snarled at her. “Held me down and drew it on me when I was ten years old.” He let his hair fall back and his hands tightened into fists at his sides. 

“And as for yer buddy, Kane? He’s the reason my brother is dead. Set us up on a bad drug deal and the cops knew where we were. Ya think I was back from some fuckin’ vacation the night we met, Poppylan? I was in prison for a _year._ Got out that Friday.”

She stared at him, a wide-eyed doe, and then she attempted to speak. “So, you… But Kane… he’s…”

His fucking name on her lips. 

He’d heard it for the last time. 

“What? Such a fucking gentleman?” he cut her off. “He’s a dangerous motherfucker and yer ass just got into the car with him! After I’ve been tellin’ ya since the beginning to _stay the fuck away from him.”_

“I couldn’t have Kane knowin’ we were together,” he said, relieved to have it off his back but also anxious, _guilty_ that it was now something she would have to carry on hers. “He’s had it out for me fer years and if he found out about us, about you…”

Flashes of the two of them seared behind his eyes. 

Kane, his hands beating the life from her. 

His little silver blade drawing a line across her throat. 

Poppy’s body, bleeding out on a dirty, concrete floor. 

_RED._

“God damnit, I’ve been tryin’ to _protect_ you. _Why couldn’t you just let me do that?!”_ he roared and scanned the room for the nearest thing he could get his hands on; they were itching to hurt _something._

His guitar. 

In one swift movement, he crossed the room, lifted it above his head and hurled it at the console table. 

The tv flew backwards into the wall, a long crack now going down the center of the screen. One of the speakers toppled over. The last thing he saw was the potted ZZ plant tumble to the concrete floor; it landed with a ceramic _clang_ and busted into several large pieces. 

_No, shit, fuck. No, please. No. No, no._

Immediately he rushed over, stooped down and picked it up. He gently collected the fragments in his hands; they might as well have belonged to his heart. 

“Fuck, shit, _fuck._ Bobby, I’m sorry. I can fix this. I’m going to fix it.”

If she let him, he’d spend the rest of his life trying. 

Tora looked over at her; she was gazing in his direction but unseeing, not focused on any particular thing. Slowly, he watched her eyes glass over with fresh tears. 

“The night we had dinner here…” she began.

He barely recognized her voice; it was so… _empty._

“…and your boss showed up…”

_No, please._

“…what happened?”

Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe; it felt like his own body was drowning him from the inside out. “Poppy,” he begged her, “don’t do this-“

 _”Tell me what happened,”_ she grit out. 

His mouth formed the words, but he couldn’t feel them. 

“He called me up to collect an old debt. Owed the clan a lotta money. Made me bash his head in while the guy begged for his life.”

Poppy collapsed to the ground and let out a long, low sob. 

Immediately he rushed to her side and pressed his hands to her face. If he could just get her to _look_ at him, to remember who he _really_ was…

“Bobby, hey. I’m sorry. I’m _so_ sorry this is my life. Ya didn’t deserve to find out this way. But now ya know.”

At these words, he was filled with a strange feeling of… _hope._ They were a team now, finally on the same page. They could work together and get past this. No more secrets, no more lies. 

Just the two of them, watching the ocean move and part around them.

“And more than that, Kane knows about us. Dunno how he found out. He wanted me ta know it was him that brought ya here today. He’ll use ya again to get to me. So that means we gotta be careful. I’ll talk ta Ronzo, get some surveillance goin’ on Kane…”

It was going to be okay. 

They were going to figure this out. 

“I can’t do this,” Poppy said. 

Tora dropped his hands from her face as though the words burned him. 

_Can’t… do… this?_

“What?” he whispered. “You can’t… you sayin’ it’s over?”

The words left a bitter taste on his tongue and he winced at their flavor. 

“I love you and I’m sorry, but _I can’t live like this anymore.”_

She… she loved him. 

And he loved her. 

Didn’t that mean they could do… _anything?_

His next words came out rushed, in a panic. “Bobby, at least lemme drive ya home. We can talk more about it. _Just wait…”_

“No, I- I’ll take a cab. Don’t worry about me.” He watched from his squatting position on the floor as she got up to leave. She moved to the couch stiffly and picked up her bag. 

“God damnit, sweetheart, _wait-“_

His mouth was working; it was saying words, but he couldn’t get the rest of his body to respond. His brain screamed at his muscles to move, but they remained frozen in place. He couldn’t budge, couldn’t run after her. 

_It’s not what she wants, dumbass._

Distantly, he could hear her voice telling him goodbye. 

The echoing sound of the door closing. 

Then he was alone.


	12. Alone - Week One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Just a quick note- the security guard scene is based on panels already written by Lily for Midnight Poppy Land, and while I included my own spin on it, I wanted to give her credit where it's due... ALL the credit**
> 
> \---
> 
> So I was chatting with BegoniaRex today and she said it best when she told me that some of these chapters just write themselves. You have zero control; the character takes the reins, tells you what to write and you do as you're told haha. 
> 
> I never intended for the aftermath to be this long, but Tiger Boy had other plans for me. And while I hate to prolong the pain and sadness, something tells me you guys (hopefully) won't mind?
> 
> This is week one of two and what I'm considering the "fluffier" part; the next chapter is darker and will definitely be harder for me to write. I'm already sipping on peach wine just thinking about it!
> 
> As always, thank you so so much for being here for me. And as I told JaxStarGazer in a comment on the last chapter, please remember I am here for you too <3 If you ever want to chat, whether it's about MPL, what your favorite flavor of ice cream is or life in general, I'm all ears. 
> 
> Love you all and see you soon!
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Broken down and hungry for your love  
With no way to feed it  
Where are you tonight?  
Child, you know how much I need it  
Too young to hold on  
And too old to just break free and run  
Sometimes a man gets carried away,  
When he feels like he should be having his fun  
Much too blind to see the damage he's done  
Sometimes a man must awake to find that, really,  
He has no one”  
-Jeff Buckley, “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over”

\---

_Gone._

She was just… gone. 

And in Tora’s experience, he knew that once people left, they didn’t come back. 

Once he could find it in himself to move again, he scooted across the floor and sat down, leaning against the wall. Was it normal to feel like your body couldn’t support its own weight? It was always one of the things he’d had control over before. 

He raked his hands over his head and held them there; Christ, they wouldn’t stop shaking. 

Tora’s head lolled to the side and his gaze landed on the remains of the ZZ plant, sprawled out across the floor in a pile of dirt and broken clay. Shit, he didn’t know the first thing about fixing it; he could glue the pot back together, but what about the plant?

Was it going to make it?

_What about Poppy?_

Slowly, he could feel his back straightening against the wall; his legs no longer felt like jelly and he pulled them toward his chest, then pushed himself off the floor. He could feel his senses returning to him, his training instincts, his mode of defense switching on. 

Tora crossed the room and picked up his phone from the couch. He opened a new message and selected _bobby_ as the contact. 

_just need to know you made it home safe._

If she didn’t respond within the hour, he would drive over there to see for himself. 

Then he scrolled through his contacts until he landed on Gyu. He hit the call button and waited. 

He picked up on the second ring. “Hey, Big Bro, ya caught me on my break. What’s goin’ on?”

“Ya still able to get a hold of trackin’ devices?”

“Yeah, sure. They’re one of the easier gadgets ta get. How many ya need?”

“Just one,” Tora replied. “What about motion detectors?”

Gyu paused. “Bro, ya sound a little strange. Everythin’ o-”

Tora cut him off. “Fine, Ronzo. Motion detectors. Can ya get ‘em?”

“Well, depends on what yer needin’ exactly. You want ‘em with all the fixin’s? Camera, audio?”

Christ, as much as he’d love to see her and hear her voice again, he wouldn’t do that to her. She deserved her space, her privacy. 

“No, no,” he said after a moment. “Just need ta know if there’s movement.”

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do. Might take me a little longer ta get than the trackin’ device, just so ya know.”

Shit. 

That wouldn’t do; he needed something on her apartment _now._ Christ knew he couldn’t rely on that security guard to keep her safe…

“S’fine,” Tora replied as an idea began to take up space in his brain. “Remember that security guard I had ya look into for me?”

“Oh, yeah, the lazy one at that complex outside of the city?”

“That’s him. What’d ya find out about him?” Tora asked. 

“Well, aside from the fact that he’s shit at his job, turns out he’s also a pretty shit husband. He’s havin’ an affair on his wife with a younger woman; she visits him at the booth and they’ll go at it right there when he’s on duty.”

Tora’s jaw clenched. Fucking bastard. 

His phone beeped against his ear and he brought it around to his face. 

_bobby, 1 New Message_

His chest cracked at the sight of her name on his phone; this would probably be the last time he’d ever see it flash across his screen and for a moment, he just stared at it, memorized the way it looked. Finally, he clicked it open.

_Made it._

Thank Christ. 

Then he could hear the faint sound of Gyu’s voice through the speaker. “Bro? Ya there?”

He lifted the phone back to his ear. “Ya got his name?” Tora asked. “His wife’s?”

“Ya know I do. Even got the name of his toy poodle.”

God damnit, Ronzo was the best. 

“You lookin’ for another job, Ronzo?”

Gyu sighed. “Yeah, had to quit the Black Swan last week. They were shortin’ me on hours and it wasn’t worth the gas money ta get over there anymore.”

“I’ll hook ya up with a full-time gig. Get with Quince after work, have him fudge yer resume a bit with a background as his bodyguard and put him down as a reference. I’ll send ya the name and number of the lady who’ll be hirin’ ya.”

“Shit, thanks, bro. Been worried ‘bout what I was gonna do for extra cash...”

“One thing I gotta know first.”

“Sure. Just name it.”

“What time does his lil’ girlfriend usually drop by?”

\---

The next afternoon, Tora parked Ronzo’s white pickup truck outside of Poppy’s apartment complex. He lit up a cigarette while he waited for the bimbo to show and pulled up the picture of her on his phone. 

She should be here any minute. 

Like clockwork, at 3:10, Tora watched as a slim woman with a bob haircut approached the front gate. He glanced down at the image on his phone and then back up at her. 

She waggled her fingers at Trevor, who waved back at her through the window. A moment later, the gate clicked open, she crossed the lot and then stepped inside the security booth. 

Tora slid his phone into his sweatshirt pocket and pulled the hood over his head. 

It was go time. 

\---

Tora quickly stealthed up to the wall and vaulted himself over it with both hands. He pulled at his cigarette and stalked across the parking lot until he was standing in the middle of it, right in view of the booth window. 

It took a couple of minutes, but eventually Trevor looked up and his face twisted into anger when he caught sight of him. Tora watched him hand the woman’s shirt back over to her before he hauled ass out of the booth, fly unzipped. 

“How the hell did you get in here?” he barked at him. Tora stared down at him, saying nothing. 

His girlfriend crept out to the front of the booth and watched them with wide eyes.

“I didn’t hear that gate click open for you, pal. And can’t you read? There’s a sign right there that says no smoking!” He pointed at the plaque mounted to the entrance of the building.

Tora snorted. If Trevor had been paying attention instead of sleeping or getting his dick wet, maybe he would’ve recognized him from all the times he visited Poppy over the past few months. He’d seen it _plenty_ , enough that he decided to use it to set Trevor up now. 

Tora continued to stare at him silently and Trevor’s cheeks turned bright red with blood.

“Did you hear me, punk? Put the cigarette _out.”_

Tora shrugged. “Sure, whatever ya say.”

He pulled it from his lips and poked out his tongue. He flipped the cigarette butt end up and pressed the other into his tongue; it sizzled and burned against his flesh, but he held Trevor’s gaze and didn’t flinch. 

The security guard’s jaw fell, his eyes wide. 

Behind Trevor’s shoulder, Tora watched the bimbo scuttle across the lot and out the gate. 

Tora turned his head to the side and spit the ash out onto the concrete.

“I put it out, just like ya asked me to,” Tora said and took Trevor’s hand in his. He turned it over and curled it around the cigarette butt. “Now yer gonna do somethin’ fer me, _Trevor.”_

The older man’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in his throat as he swallowed hard. 

“I’m not gonna tell anyone what ya been up to in this lil’ love shack of yours and in return, yer gonna march yer ass to Mrs. Haru’s apartment right now and resign.”

Trevor furrowed his eyebrows at him. “And… and what if I don’t?”

“Hmmpf. Then I’m comin’ after you, Vicky, even yer fuckin’ toy poodle, Sophie.”

The color drained from Trevor’s face and the scent of piss wafted up to Tora’s nose. 

Fuck, this dude was all kinds of disgusting. 

“Ya got it?” Tora asked. 

“Y-yeah, I g-got it.”

“Good. Now zip up yer pants and get the _fuck_ out.”

Trevor’s hands fumbled over his zipper, then he ran past Tora and launched himself into the building. 

Fucking prick. 

Tora allowed himself a moment to look up at her balcony; there were no string lights hanging from it anymore and he didn’t see any plants propped against the railing. It was getting colder out; more than likely she’d brought them all indoors to keep them safe and warm through the winter. 

She’d probably moved the fiddle leaf fig in first; she’d told him they were especially sensitive to the cold. 

He waited for a flicker of movement, a sign of life to come from her apartment, to remind him that she was still _real,_ but it never came.

\---

That night, after a few bouts of restless sleep, Tora sat up on the couch and checked his phone. 2:56 AM. Fuck, he’d thought it was later than that. He was wide awake; he couldn’t stop hearing the echoing sound of that damn door closing behind her. He wanted to turn the tv on to drown out his thoughts, but then he remembered that he’d broken it in his fit of rage the night before. 

If this had never happened, if they were still together, he’d probably be over at her place right now. Laying next to her in her bed, touching her, holding her, pressing kisses to her hair while she slept. 

He’d be happy and completely unaware of just how much it hurt to _miss_ her. 

Maybe this was what he deserved for keeping secrets from her, for asking her to keep their _relationship_ a secret: a quiet, cold night with nothing but the mere memory of her to keep him company. 

Fuck. 

After a few more moments of silence, Tora stood up from the sofa and paced the room. He made a few laps past the beach painting and then stopped in front of the console table. Earlier that day, he’d righted the television and speaker to their original places. He’d then set the ZZ plant on the table and propped it against the wall. 

He crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at the battered plant.

He didn’t know what the hell to do for it; he knew it needed soil, but how much? Was there only one type? Did he just let it soak in the sink until he could get more dirt or would it drown? _Could_ plants drown?

He guessed he could Google it, but those searches always overwhelmed him so quickly and who knew if it was even accurate info? 

Tora tapped his fingers against his arm absentmindedly and then gazed down at the tattoo on his left arm; his eyes ran over the pink petals and deep green leaves. If the ZZ plant were a tattoo like his peonies, it would be easier; he’d know exactly what to do for it: just go get it touched up by the guy Tyson recommended…

_Tyson._

That fucker had his own damn _greenhouse._ He could probably tell him exactly how to save the plant. 

Tora snatched his cell off the couch and dialed Tyson’s number. After a couple of rings, he answered. 

“Bro, somethin’ goin’ on? Ya know what time it is, right?”

He raked a hand through his hair and sighed. “Everythin’s… fine. Sorry ta wake ya, but I got a plant… emergency.”

“Uhh… sorry, think I’m still half asleep. Did ya say _plant_ emergency?”

“Ya heard me right. Got a ZZ plant and I broke the pot…”

“Aw, Christ, you didn’t throw the plant out, did ya?”

Tora frowned. “No, it’s here and it’s doin’ all right. Least, I think it is.”

Tyson paused. “Okay… do ya have another pot ta put it in? I might have a spare one I can bring ya…”

 _”No,”_ Tora said firmly. “Don’t want a new pot. Gonna fix the old one. My question for you is… how much dirt does it need? Does it need a specific type of soil?”

“Well, I had a couple ZZ plants in my life before I got into collectin’ the rare shit. I always found what worked best fer mine was… ya got paper and a pen?”

“Uh… yep.”

“Don’t lie ta me, bro. It’s 3:30 in the damn mornin’, ya ain’t gonna remember…”

God damnit, he didn’t need to write it down. What he needed was something to try to remember, something to occupy his thoughts besides _her._

“Tyson, just tell me what ta do, would ya?”

“All right, bro, all right. Listen ta me carefully. Yer gonna need three parts standard potting soil, one part succulent and cactus mix and one part coco coir.”

 _The fuck?_

There was a damn recipe?

Whatever. He’d do anything. 

“Kay,” he said, trying to grasp onto the words as tightly as he could. “That it?”

“It probably wouldn’t hurt ta grab some humic acid shiny balls; the ones I’ve always gotten were green. Ya sprinkle ‘em in the pot and they help with soil structure. Now when ya fix the pot and go ta put the soil in, make sure ya leave yerself about an inch below the lip of it for waterin’. If ya need help, lemme know and I-”

Tora nodded, determined to remember everything. “Thanks Tyson, but I gotta do this on my own. I appreciate ya pickin’ up this late at night; sorry to disturb ya.”

“No problem, man. You, uh- you… doin’ okay?”

Tora’s jaw clenched; he wanted to talk to someone about it so badly, to have any reason in the world to taste her name on his lips, but he couldn’t. 

The less people that knew about her, the safer she was. 

“I’m fine, Tyson. Thanks fer ya help. Now get some sleep.”

\---

“Um, sir, can I help you?”

Tora turned and looked down at the pimply, red-haired teenage sales associate who had wandered up to him. He’d been standing in the garden center, staring at a rack of soil for what felt like hours; why the hell did there have to be so many different kinds?

He knew he needed standard, but what were the other two? Suck… something. And cocoa. Like hot chocolate mix? No, that couldn’t be right. 

Also, some type of balls?

Fuck. 

He should’ve written it down. 

“Uh, yeah, guess ya can,” Tora replied to the younger boy. “Got a ZZ plant and I broke its pot the other day…"

The associate gasped. “Oh God, you didn’t throw the plant out, did you?”

Why the fuck did everyone keep saying that? Did he look like a serial plant killer?

“Fuck, no,” he sighed. “S’why I’m here. I-“

“Ooooh, looking for a new pot?” the boy asked. 

”No,” he told him sternly. “I don’t want a new pot. Gonna fix the one I got. I need soil and my buddy told me what ta get, but…”

“But you didn’t write it down?”

Tora’s jaw clenched. This little fucking punk…

“No, I didn’t. All I know’s I need standard potting soil, suck… something, cocoa and Hubrich? Heimlich? Fuck, they’re little green balls. And glue.”

The red-haired boy nodded along as he spoke. “Okay, standard potting soil, succulent and cactus mix, coco coir, humic shiny acid balls and PVA adhesive. Follow me.”

Pfft. Smart little bastard. 

Tora raised his eyebrows and walked after the kid. He led him to each aisle that housed the soils he needed and then walked him inside the building to the hardware department. They walked past power tools and window treatments before finally pausing in front of a shelf with glues and adhesives. 

The boy studied the labels for a moment and then plucked a bottle with the letters PVA plastered across it. “It’s the best glue for fixing terra cotta pots,” he said as he handed it over to Tora. “That’s the kind of pot you’re trying to fix, right?”

 _”Goin’_ to fix,” Tora corrected him. “And I dunno. It’s… orange?”

“Yep, standard terra cotta pot. PVA glue is best for porous surfaces and it’s easy to clean up with soap and water.”

Fuck. 

He still had so much to learn. 

“Welp, that was it, the last thing on your list. Let me know if you need help with anything else, okay?”

“Actually kid, do ya got any… zig zag cactus here?” Tora asked. 

“No, sorry. We had them a long time ago for one season and they sold out. Haven’t seen them since. They’re cute, right? And one of a kind. Did you know that it’s rare for them to bloom and when they do-“

“Ah… yeah,” Tora said, disappointment slackening his shoulders. “Yeah, I know. Anyway, um… thanks-" he squinted at the kid's name tag "-Jake. Appreciate yer help.”

The smaller boy beamed at him. “Any time. And hey, good luck with your pot.”

As it turned out, he needed all the luck in the world. 

Tora ended up getting glue everywhere; his hair, his hands, his pants and some of the fragments of the pot had broken into small pieces, too tiny for his giant hands to fit them together properly. He needed larger pieces if he was going to have a chance in hell of manipulating them. 

Or smaller hands. 

Tiny hands, even. 

Like hers. 

He needed _her._

\---

At 7:30 on Monday morning, Tora’s alarm went off, but he’d already been awake for hours. He’d been plagued with dreams about Poppy, the beach, her being washed away by the tide. When her body finally floated back to the shore, it was inside of a warehouse, bleeding out on the dirty, concrete floor. 

He’d woken up drenched in sweat and unable to breathe, as though he’d been the one who drowned. His fists grappled at his chest; fuck, why did this have to hurt so _much?_

After he calmed down, he finally managed to drift back to sleep and was enveloped by thoughts of her touching him, kissing him, panting and writhing beneath him, whispering how much she loved him. She felt so soft, so _real_ that when he woke moments later with a hard on and tears in his eyes, he was confused as to why he was alone. 

Tora didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. 

By 7:45, he was out the door and drove a couple of neighborhoods over to a newsstand he frequented. It opened at 8 am every day and he was afraid to wait too long. 

He wanted to make sure he got a copy. 

He grabbed a couple cans of strawberry juice from the cooler and approached the counter. “Pack of Marlboros and that magazine there,” he pointed directly behind the clerk. 

The clerk turned around. “The Giant Goldfish one?” he asked over his shoulder. 

Tora nodded. 

The cashier bagged up his items and after he paid, Tora tucked himself into his car and sped home. Once inside his apartment, he perched himself on the couch, cracked open a strawberry juice and flipped to the table of contents in the magazine. 

_Labor of Loss: The Life and Death of Chef Beau’s Fillet Mignon Tart by Poppylan Wilkes, page 47._

Tora turned the pages until he landed on her article. His eyes scanned over the title and then were met with her editor photo smiling up at him. 

_Fuck._

He hadn’t seen her face in three days and the sight of it now made his heart twist painfully in his chest. She was so _pretty._ He hated that they’d never taken a single picture together; he’d always been terrified of who might see them. They were both around Kane enough that he never wanted to take the risk that he’d catch a glimpse of it over one of their shoulders. 

What he wouldn't give to just be normal for her. 

Slowly, he read through the entire article. Then again. Then one more time. 

She was a talented writer, even better than Quincey. At least, she captured his attention more with her thoughts and use of certain words, anyway. Maybe he was biased, but all he knew was that pastries and French chefs had never been more interesting to him. 

Eventually he felt his eyes begin to cross over the words, so he stood from the couch and rubbed his face. He walked over to the cardboard box he kept by the console table and tucked the magazine into it for safe keeping. 

While he was crouched down by the box, his phone rang. 

A quick glance at the caller ID and he rolled his eyes. 

Fuckin’ Quincey. 

“Yeah?” he answered. 

“Hello to you, too, booboo!” Quincey chirped into his ear. “I wanted to run a favor by you, if you don’t mind.”

“What do ya want?”

“Well, you usually drive Poppy over to meet with me and…”

At the sound of her name, Tora perked up and his heart began to race.

“And?”

“Well, I was going to ask if you’d pick her up this Friday evening; her article came out today and I want to have her over for dinner, wine, beta-reading. You know, to celebrate. But you sounded like a… grumpy tiger yesterday when I called you and I don’t want to make you do anything if you’re… _upset.”_

Tora sighed, both excited and anxious about the idea of seeing her again. “Not upset, Quince.”

“Well, you certainly sound upset. Maybe I’ve been putting too much on you lately. It’s okay, I’ll give Kane a call and see if he’s available to…”

Tora’s jaw clenched. 

“What time do ya need me over there?”

“Oh, um, well, I guess six would work.”

“I’ll pick her up then,” Tora said and ended the call. 

\---

Thursday night found Tora once again tossing and turning on the couch. The past few days had consisted of rigging the tracking device on Kane’s car, listening to Quincey ramble about his weird pirate love story, going to the gym every day, sometimes twice a day. He’d received daily updates from Ronzo about his guard shifts and the motion detector he’d commissioned him on. Two body disposals for Vincent, overdue debt collections and he’d listened as his boss breathed down his neck about the Ninedaggers. 

By all accounts, he should have been exhausted. 

But he couldn’t fucking sleep no matter how hard he tried. 

Maybe it was his hair; it was still twisted up in its usual half bun. As he pulled at the hair tie in an effort to free his locks, he felt it snap and break against his hand. 

Fuck. 

It was his last one.

At 1:00 am, his phone beeped. 

He groped blindly for it on the floor and lifted it to his face. 

_bobby, 1 New Message_

His heart thundered in his ears as he stabbed at the notification. 

_Is Quincey sending you to pick me up on Friday? I can always take a cab._

He sucked in a breath. 

Like _fuck_ she was taking a cab. He’d always driven her before and there was no reason he shouldn’t now. She’d be safer with him, anyway. 

And he wanted to see her, just share the same space with her, if only for the length of a car ride.

He typed out a response and hit _send._

_be there at 6_

Ten minutes later, he was fast asleep.


	13. Alone - Week Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: there is a scene in this chapter that depicts violence and may be triggering to some.**
> 
> \---
> 
> Good LORD, this chapter was hard, quite possibly one of the worst things I've written. Maybe it won't read as that awful to some of you, but for me, this was emotionally draining. We're finally getting back into the sexy fun times between our favorite couple, but the story only gets worse from here lol. 
> 
> However, I do want to say thank you so much for your continued reading, support and comments; I would not be pushing myself out of my comfort zone by writing Tora's POV if it weren't for you all and my best friend, Gaby. It's been an taxing experience, but so rewarding and worth it at the same time :) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this update; I, for one, am looking forward to the next one! LOL
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> PS Also, sorry not sorry for the repeat use of the song hahaha. Jeff Buckley was/still is a god and knows how to make me properly sad in the best way possible. 
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“It's never over  
My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder  
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles  
When I slept so soft against her  
It's never over  
All my blood for the sweetness of her laughter  
It's never over  
She is the tear that hangs inside my soul forever  
But maybe I'm just too young,  
To keep good love from going wrong  
Oh lover, you should've come over”  
-Jeff Buckley, “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over”

\---

At 6:00 sharp, Tora pulled Quincey’s car onto the sidewalk outside of Poppy’s apartment. It was cold as hell out, but he’d driven with the windows down the whole way to her place; he’d chain smoked the entire ride and didn’t want her hacking up a lung when she got into the car.

He shifted into park and tapped out a message to let her know he was there. Fuck, he wanted to go upstairs, watch her open the door to him and bask in the light of her home, her art, plants, all of her books. But he wouldn’t do that to her; she deserved her space and he was an outsider now. The last thing she’d told him was that she couldn’t do this anymore. 

Which meant that, as badly as he wanted to, _he_ couldn’t either.

When he saw the building door swing open, Tora rolled up the passenger side window and left his own cracked a couple of inches. He sucked in his breath as her tiny frame made its way through the lot to him; she was lugging that giant yellow bag on her shoulder and his hands itched to take it from her. He wanted to round the front of the car, open her door, shut her safely inside. 

But things were different between them now; it was… over.

What was he even allowed to do?

The passenger door clicked open and then she was sliding into the seat next to him. She was so goddamn _small,_ but her presence took up the entire interior. She settled the bag on her lap and then looked over at him. 

“Hi,” she said quietly. 

“Hi,” he mumbled back and lit up another cigarette. He pushed his loose hair out of his eyes and shifted the car into drive. 

“Um, you don’t have your hair up,” she said. 

Tora paused and pressed his foot into the brake pedal. For the first time since she sat down beside him, he looked over at her and immediately wished he hadn’t. 

She looked so fucking _beautiful._ Her hair was done up away from her face, her cheeks were glowing a sweet pink color that matched her lip gloss. Beneath her long coat, she wore a black camisole that poked out under a white blazer with orange flowers and orange slacks to match. Black high heels were strapped to her feet. 

Fucking Christ, she looked so good. So pretty. Healthy.

Tora’s heart seized up in his chest as he realized she looked the _same._ Completely unaffected. 

Of course. Poppy was the happiest she’d ever been: working with Q.B. Noyouko and publishing her first article in her company’s magazine. She’d probably been sleeping like a baby every night in her comfy bed. 

Now that she didn’t have to worry that some six foot three mafia thug was going to throw her out of it. 

_Fuck._

She’d never looked this happy leaving _his_ apartment before. Twice she’d left crying after picking herself up from the floor and the night she’d given him the painting, she’d walked out looking… distraught, like she had something on her mind that she wasn’t willing to share with him. 

Christ, while she’d been the light of his life, all he’d done was bring darkness to hers. He was killing her _slowly,_ without even using his hands.

Now she was happy and free and it _showed._

She deserved to look and feel this way all the time; he wasn’t worthy of even sitting next to her right now. He deserved his cold, dark, empty apartment and the shadows in which he worked. 

Tora realized then that he was destined for violence, a life of crime and taking people’s lives. He was good at it. The mafia life had chosen him for a reason; people like him weren’t meant for anything else, least of all being with someone like Poppy.

He’d been a fucking idiot for ever thinking otherwise.

He cleared his throat. “Ran outta hair ties,” he gruffed out around his cigarette.

“Oh. I… I think I have an extra one.” He watched as she dug around in her front pocket. She pulled out a pink and red hair tie and offered it to him in her outstretched palm. “It’s got a strawberry on it, though… if you don’t mind…”

He stared down at it for a moment, not wanting to take anything more from her than he already had. But she was offering it to him freely, it was something so small and trivial; maybe she wouldn’t even miss it and that’s why she was giving it to him?

It didn’t matter to her. 

Finally, he picked it up out of her hand. “S’fine,” he told her and tugged his hair back into a half bun on his head. 

“Thanks,” he said and slowly eased the car out onto the street. 

“Welcome,” she replied.

\---

Ten minutes of silence and two cigarettes later, Tora heard Poppy's voice drift over from the passenger seat.

“Tora, I’m sor-“

God damnit, he couldn’t listen to this right now. She wasn’t the one who owed an apology. And besides, she wasn’t sorry, she _felt_ sorry. Sorry that he was obviously hurting, maybe. Sorry that she’d ever dated him in the first place. 

But not sorry that she left. 

Why should she be? She was safer now, better. 

“Don’t,” he cut her off. 

“Don’t?” she whispered. 

“Told ya you could change yer mind if it got too hard. Said I wouldn’t hold it against ya.”

“But-“

He sighed deeply. “Poppylan, s’better this way. Just… _enough.”_

They rode in silence the rest of the way.

\---

Tora walked her up to the penthouse and made sure she got inside safely. “Goin’ to the gym,” he said to Quincey over her head. “Lemme know when yer done and I’ll take her home.”

He stepped back through the door and she called out to him before he walked away. 

“Thank you.”

The words struck him between the shoulder blades and settled there, inches from his heart. He stiffened and turned his head halfway back to nod at her. Then he left. 

\---

When Tora got to the gym, he ran two miles on the treadmill, harder and faster than he’d ever done. Then he piled his usual amount of weight onto the bench press plus a little extra and lifted until he lost count of his reps. 

This. This is what he was made for. 

He was one giant muscle, a weapon to be used. 

This was the life he was born to lead, all that he was good for. Why not make the most of it?

Tora perched himself on the end of the bench and pulled out his cell phone. He selected the contact and took a long swig of water as the line began to ring. 

“Well, what a pleasant surprise, son,” the smooth voice of Vincent crooned in his ear. “Here I was thinking I wasn’t going to hear from you. Have you given any more thought to-“

“Names,” Tora bit out. 

There was silence on the other end. 

“Give me a list,” he continued. “No more than five.”

“So… so you’re agreeing to it?” Vincent asked. 

Tora said nothing. 

“Fine, fine. I know you don’t like to repeat yourself, especially when it comes to these things. I’ll have the list ready for you by Wednesday afternoon at the latest. Ronzo was having trouble identifying a couple of the men responsible…”

“S’fine,” Tora cut him off. “Lemme know as soon as ya can.”

His boss chuckled. “Suddenly so eager, are we?”

“Just doin’ my job.”

\---

The ride back to Poppy’s apartment was completely silent and so tense that Tora couldn’t help but chain smoke the entire way. There were a million things he wanted to say to her: he wanted to tell her that he bought soil for the ZZ plant and attempted to glue the pot back together. He wanted her to know how proud he was of her for publishing her first article, that he’d read it a dozen or so times. That the last text she sent him had made him feel so light and _relieved_ that it put him right to sleep after a week of restless nights. 

But he knew she wouldn’t want to hear any of it, so when he pulled up outside her parking lot, he told her the only thing he could think of. 

When she soundlessly swung herself out of the car, his hand reached out and wrapped around her purse strap to stop her. “Hey,” he murmured and she turned around to look at him. 

“Yes?”

“I- ah…” He let his hand fall from the strap. 

_Protect yourself and keep an eye out. The world is a dangerous place, full of evil people who do horrible things. They will hurt you and take advantage of you. I should know._

_I’m one of them._

“Just… be safe, okay?” he said. 

After a moment, she nodded and rubbed at her eyes. She must’ve been exhausted; she’d had quite the exciting week and to end it, having drinks and dinner with Quincey had probably done her in. 

“You too, Tora,” she finally said. Then she turned her back to him and headed inside.

\---

Late Thursday night, under cover of darkness, Tora readied himself and his sniper rifle on the rooftop of an abandoned apartment building on the south end of the Ares Street district. He’d taken into account every angle, lighting, shadows, the wind speed and direction before perching himself at a particular corner. It faced a dirty little bar on the opposite side of the street, where his four targets were wrapping up their dinner and drinks. 

When Vincent had texted him the list of four names and faces on Wednesday afternoon, Tora wasn’t expecting to _know_ two of them. 

Comer Bates. 

Arlo Wheeling. 

Friends of his and Goliath’s, Ronzo and Quincey, from childhood. Fun guys, _good_ guys he’d lost touch with over the years. Apparently Goliath hadn’t. 

After months of silence, Tora had assumed they were doing time. 

At worst, they were killed on the streets. 

And now, it was his job to make sure of it. 

The bar would be closing any minute and while he waited, he checked to make sure the front legs of the gun were fully extended and balanced on the concrete corner. Tora adjusted the night vision scope and lowered his head until his eye was level within the sights. His hand hovered near the safety switch and he gazed out the scope over south Ares Street. 

As he tweaked the focus of the scope, it pointed at an apartment building across the street from the bar. It was an old, run-down building but still housed occupants; he could see several lights dotted in the windows. 

He drifted the mount to the side, where it settled on a balcony illuminated with over head lighting. The platform was bare and the wooden railing was old and splintered. Suspended above it was two plants in those weird yarn and bead hangers. 

Tora frowned as he realized the plants were dead, long dead. 

He immediately recognized the one on the left as a variation of pothos; it was leggy and what leaves remained on the trailing shoots were yellowed and falling off. The other was a… fin? No, it was a _fern_ and where it should have had green, feathery fanned leaves, there were brown fronds, dried up and crumbling to dust. 

Fucking assholes. 

_She_ would’ve brought the plants inside and kept them safe and warm. She would’ve spent several minutes choosing the perfect place for them in her living room, making sure they got just the right amount of sunlight, humidity and air flow. 

Tora removed his gaze from the scope and absentmindedly spun the strawberry hair tie that was wrapped around his wrist. 

She wouldn’t have left them out in the cold to die. 

And she wouldn’t want him to, either. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement on the sidewalk below; Comer and Arlo were exiting the bar with the two other faces from his list. Tora swiveled the rifle around and clicked the safety off. He gazed into the scope, focused it on Comer’s chest and adjusted the butt pad beneath his armpit. 

His finger hovered over the trigger, he repositioned the rifle to aim at the top slope of Comer’s right shoulder and fired. 

It happened so quickly, none of them had time to react. 

In rapid succession, he aimed and shot at Arlo’s ankle, then the appendages of the other two men. 

All four of them collapsed on the sidewalk, screaming, howling and pawing at their fresh wounds. As Tora packed up his gear into his duffel bag, he threw one last look over his shoulder at his former friends, their two new friends and the crowd that was quickly gathering. 

They would live and he hoped they would listen to his warning; they would not be so lucky next time. 

Vincent would make sure of that. 

When Tora arrived at his apartment, he dropped the duffel bag to the ground and flipped on the news, where some brave reporters were already covering the sniper attack on Ares Street. 

_”…Four wounded and not a single fatality? What do you think of that, officer?...”_

_”…Well, they could be terrible at their ‘job’… or a highly skilled assailant… From the looks of it, the shots were fired not to kill… but to warn…”_

He dragged his heavy feet to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face, then looked at himself hard in the mirror. 

His phone beeped on the sink beside him.

_Vincent, 20 Missed Calls_

_Vincent, 2 New Messages_

_You fucking idiot! Pick up your phone!!_

_FUCKING IDIOT! Why couldn’t you follow simple instructions? PICK UP YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING phone!!_

Then, two more came through. 

_Call me back, son. I promise not to yell at you. You know I was just worried about you. The clan elders are very pleased. They believe that with your warning, it will be the end of the Ninedaggers as we know it._

_I know you’ve had a long night, so I won’t keep you. Let’s have dinner soon, just you and I, son, and we’ll catch up on the good old days._

Tora’s teeth gritted together behind his lips. 

“I’m not your son, Vincent,” he snarled. He cocked his fist back and with a cry of fury, sent it hurtling toward the wall. 

_Red._

A flash of red on his wrist. 

Abruptly, he stilled his arm and gazed at the dangling plastic strawberry. He touched the hair tie and ran his fingers gently over its face. 

_I’m not yours, Vincent._

_I’m hers._

\---

Friday afternoon, after being chewed out and then subsequently forgiven by Vincent, as he always was, Tora lounged on Quincey’s sofa and was playing video games while he read through the latest scene of his pirate love story. 

Halfway through the chapter, Kane had shown up and plopped himself down beside Tora on the sofa. Tora’s chest tightened, but he said nothing; he just kept popping shots off into the horde of zombie soldiers whose faces suddenly bore a striking resemblance to the man sitting next to him. 

Kane picked up a second controller on the coffee table and waved it at Tora. “Room for one more, big bro?”

Tora wasn’t in the mood for another argument with Quincey, so he grumbled his approval and fired up a cigarette as Kane joined the game. 

“Okay,” Quincey said after a few moments, “so Claudia runs away, I told you that part already, right?” 

Tora and Kane nodded. 

“She learns what Bastion has done: he killed her fiancé in a battle at sea, _not knowing_ that her fiancé had previously been a member of his crew,” Quincey continued. “He orchestrated a mutiny and left Bastion marooned on an island with no food or water. Also, maybe her fiancé murdered Bastion’s entire family, I’m not sure yet.”

“So Bastion is kinda like Jack Sparrow and the Punisher all rolled into one?” Kane asked. 

“Loosely inspired by,” Quincey said. “Anyway, Claudia runs away; she sneaks onto another ship when they’re at port. Bastion’s pirate ship sails off in the opposite direction of the one Claudia is on and my question to _you_ is does he chase after her once he realizes what she’s done?”

Kane nodded vigorously. ‘Yeah, bro, absolutely. That could make for another epic battle scene; maybe Bastion’s racing to catch up to them…”

Quincey’s eyes lit up. “And they start firing at him…”

“Thinkin’ he’s just another pirate who wants ta rob ‘em, but really, he just wants his girl back,” Kane finished. 

“No,” Tora said.

Out of the corners of his eyes, he could see both Kane and Quincey’s heads swivel to look at him. 

“What do you mean, honey?” Quincey asked.

“If he really loved her, he’d let her go. He wouldn’t go chasin’ after her and riskin’ her life like that. She made up her mind ‘bout him and he should respect how she feels,” Tora replied. 

Quincey sighed dreamily. “Wow… I’ve been waiting years for you to say something like that to me, honey. I love it! Why can’t you give me feedback like that all the _time?”_

“Pfft,” Kane chuckled. “Big Bro’s goin’ soft on us. Since when are ya such a romantic? Or… did ya get yer heart broken?”

Tora’s head snapped to the side. “Yeah. Yeah, I did. And ya wanna know how it feels, Kane?” he sneered and stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray. “Like someone put a bullet in my chest and left me bleedin’ out on a warehouse floor.”

From Tora’s right side, he heard Quincey begin to laugh nervously. “Okay, boys, that’s enough…”

“What?” Kane asked and shrugged. “I’m just concerned ‘bout Big Bro’s well-being. Sounds like the Legendary Tiger of Ares Street’s been whipped by a lil’ lion tamer. A short, busty, brunette lio-“

_RED._

In an instant, Tora was on his feet; his hands dropped from the game controller and wrapped tightly around Kane’s neck. He lifted him off the carpet and Kane’s legs flailed helplessly against his shins. 

Distantly, he could hear Quincey screaming at him in the background. 

“Ya’ve taken two brothers from me,” Tora said just low enough for Kane to hear. “But ya can’t have her. I’m gonna bury ya, Kane. Bury ya so deep that even _Quincey_ will forget you existed.”

Kane’s eyes bulged out of his head and a vein began to rise out of his forehead as he struggled to breathe.

_Good._

Then, Tora felt Quincey pulling at his arms. 

“Tora, _stop it!_ Put him down!” the blonde man shrieked. 

Tora held Kane there a moment longer, watched his face turn bright red and then dropped him to the floor. Immediately Quincey collapsed beside him and helped Kane sit up as he gasped and choked for air. 

“ _What’s wrong with you?!_ Just get out, you big idiot!” Quincey screamed at him. “Go work out your wounded animal complex somewhere else!”

Tora said nothing, just snatched his phone up from the coffee table and walked out the door.

\---

Tora changed his clothes, went to the gym and worked out until after dark. When he arrived at his apartment, it lightly began to snow. He stood outside in it for a moment, let it freeze the air in his lungs and numb the ache around his heart. As he headed inside, he shook his head at himself for being so stupid. 

He’d played right into Kane’s hands. He knew exactly how to get under his skin; one mention of Poppy from that prick’s lips and Tora lost all self-control. He’d purposely provoked him; he’d _wanted_ Tora to attack him, wanted Quincey to see what a loose cannon he really was. 

Anything to drive them further apart. 

He’d meant what he said to Kane, though. 

He could have Quincey. As far as he was concerned, they were no longer brothers. Maybe they never were. 

But fuck if he was about to let him get near Poppy. 

She may not have wanted Tora anymore, but damnit if he didn’t want her. 

Want her safe, want her to be loved, warm, healthy. 

Happy. 

Even if he wasn’t part of it; even if he was only there to protect it from the outside.

He wandered to his kitchen and filled a cup with water, which he brought to the ZZ plant. As he gently pushed some of the leaves back to reach the soil, he noticed a tightly curled shoot; it was shorter than the rest and bright green, almost white under the harsh lighting of his apartment. 

_Fuck._

Did he get the wrong soil? Measure out the recipe wrong? The little thing looked sickly as fuck. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture of it. Then he sent it to Tyson. 

_what did I do wrong?_ Tora typed. _this fucking thing looks like its dying on me. I did everything as best as I could._

A moment later, his phone beeped with Tyson’s response.

_Bro, it’s not dying on you. That’s one happy plant. It’s new growth. Don’t worry, you did a great job._

New growth?

He… he’d _saved_ it?

Suddenly he heard a knock at the door, followed by another text alert on his phone. 

_bobby, 1 New Message_

_I’m at your apartment. Do you want to let me in?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I wanted to include these notes at the end because they contain spoilers, but the conversations with Vincent/sniper-related scenes are based on panels already written by Lily for Midnight Poppy Land, and while I included my own spin on it, I wanted to give her credit where it's due... ALL the credit. I do not own them.**


	14. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good lord, let the angst be gone and the smutty times roll! 
> 
> I hope this update was worth the wait! Sorry for stretching out the hurt for THREE chapters... Tora just has a lot of feels and all the things to say haha. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and being the best peeps in the world <3
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“I'm short of breath  
Standing next to you  
I'm out of my depth  
At this altitude  
Like the world makes sense  
From your window seat  
You are beautiful  
Like I've never seen

Go ahead and laugh  
Even if it hurts  
Go ahead and pull the pin  
What if we could risk  
Everything we have  
And just let our walls cave in”  
-Sleeping at Last, “Heart”

\---

Tora’s heart stopped dead in his chest. 

Poppy was… _here?_

Did she stop by to see Quincey? Was he not there?

Fuck, was she scared or hurt?

He crossed the room faster than he ever had and opened the door. 

Suddenly, Tora felt as though he’d just run a marathon; he couldn’t catch his breath. 

There she stood on his doorstep, her hair full of snowflakes, loose and wavy around her shoulders. Poppy’s wide eyes were without makeup and her cheeks were red from the brisk winter air. A thick Sherpa coat swallowed her little frame and her feet were tucked into large, fuzzy boots. She looked nothing like she had when he’d picked her up at her apartment a week ago. She looked… sad, distraught but _determined._

She looked… more fucking beautiful than he had ever seen her. 

Softly, she spoke out against the falling snow. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he responded quietly. He couldn’t help but repeat after her; no other words would come to him. His body, his mind were completely taken captive by her. 

“I came here to tell you I’m sorry. About Kane. I should have told you the minute he first texted me-“

At _this,_ the sound of his name on her lips, a sudden torrent of violent words seared through his brain. Kane was _texting_ her? Did Quincey give him her number? Fucking Christ, he was going to kill them both. 

“That goddamn motherfu-“ he began, but he was cut off by her tiny hands covering his mouth. 

“Please don’t get angry, Tora,” she said. 

He could feel his eyes widen at the contact and all of the air in his lungs caught in his throat.

_Christ,_ she was here to apologize and she was looking at him like she had the night they first met, her hands were _touching_ him… 

Did she… 

Could she love him back?

Fuck, he’d been without her touch too long. He needed to feel her, too. 

Tora slipped his fingers under her coat sleeves and curled around her forearms. 

Had she lost weight?

Was she _okay?_

He gently pulled her hands down from his face. Water gathered in the corner of her eyes as they locked onto the strawberry hair tie he still had wrapped around his wrist. 

Fuck it, he wanted her to see it, wanted her to know how much she meant to him, how much he loved her. 

He wanted _her._

“Close the door,” he murmured. 

Poppy blinked at him and pulled her arms out of his grasp. “Oh- ah, sorry,” she said and pushed the door shut behind her, locking them inside. 

When she turned back around, she looked up into his eyes and swallowed hard. “I should have told you when he reached out to me,” she told him. “I know that. But you were hanging the painting, you were so _happy_ and I wasn’t going to let him take that from you.”

He said nothing; he couldn’t. The thought that this tiny, perfect woman wanted to protect him against the same man he’d tried to keep away from _her_ rendered him speechless. 

They really were on the same page, the same team. They always had been. 

“Every time he messaged me after that,” she continued, “it was about Quincey and his schedule. I didn’t think it was a big deal; I didn’t want to upset you or make you worry. It wasn’t fair of me. I was doing it to protect you, and I had no right to get angry with you for keeping certain things from me when I had a secret of my own. You were doing it to protect me too, right?”

Tora nodded. It had always been about protecting her, keeping her safe, since the moment he met her. But that didn’t excuse his not being honest with her; he should’ve been from the beginning. He knew that now.

“Yeah, but Poppy,” he said, savoring the taste of her name on his tongue, “yer secret was _nothin’_ compared to the ones I was keepin’ from ya…”

“I don’t care about that,” she interrupted him. “I don’t care that you’re part of this dangerous organization. I _know_ you’re a good man. I _know_ you don’t want any of this. I can live with what you _have_ to do if it means I get to keep you.”

Hmmpf. The little hamster was back and feistier than ever. 

She wanted him, despite knowing how dangerous that notion was. 

She wanted _him._

But she shouldn’t. 

It wasn’t safe. 

Tora sighed heavily and raked a hand through his hair. “You shouldn’t,” he told her. 

“Just because I shouldn’t doesn’t mean I _can’t,”_ she echoed his words back to him. 

A slow smile crept across his face. 

Little shit. 

Poppy let out a shaky breath then and tears streaked down her face. “I love you, Tora. I love you _so much_ and I don’t want to do this without you. If you’ll still have me-“

 _If_ he’d still have her?

Pfft. This woman needed to be quiet. 

Before she could continue her thoughts out loud, Tora closed the space between them and crushed his mouth to hers.

 _Fucking hell._

He’d never been drunk before, but he imagined that if he had, this is what it would feel like: reeling, dizzying, his lips buzzing as they moved against hers. She was still soft as ever, warm, _sweet._

She responded immediately to his kisses, pressing, molding her mouth firmly to his. He felt the tip of her tongue trace a line across his bottom lip and he parted them eagerly. When the touch of her slick tongue collided with his, his cock turned hard as iron. 

Suddenly she was kissing him harder, licking and nipping at his lips like she was trying to _devour_ him and then just as quickly, she pulled away. 

He watched her as she kicked her boots off and unzipped her winter coat. The zipper got stuck about halfway down and she wrenched at it helplessly. “This fudging thing,” she muttered just loud enough for him to hear. She looked up at him and he couldn’t help but smirk at her. 

How could she be so sexy and _adorable_ at the same damn time?

Poppy lifted her arms over her head and looked at him expectantly. He chuckled and happily tugged the coat from her. Once she was free of it, he threw it to the floor and then he was kissing her, lifting her and pinning her to the door. 

She flung her arms around his neck and wound her legs around his waist, pulling him to her tightly. Tora kissed her hard and then bent his head to trail his mouth along her neck. He pressed kisses to her jaw, her throat, her collarbone and she moaned, fucking _moaned_ long and low and sweet. The vibration of the sound tickled his lips and he smiled against her skin. 

God damnit, she drove him crazy; every part of her, every reaction, every word that left her mouth. Her body, her kindness. Her touch, her talent, her drive, her fucking _bossiness._

Did she _really_ think there was a chance that he might not want her back?

“You think I wouldn’t have ya, Bobby?” he whispered against her ear. “Told ya yer stuck with me.”

Tora didn’t give her a chance to respond; she didn’t need to. His mouth returned to hers and he poured everything into his kiss: the sadness and longing of the last couple of weeks, how much he’d missed her, how dark and cold life truly was without her in it. He kissed her so hard that she tore her mouth away from his and panted into his ear. 

Christ, it was his favorite sound in the world and he needed more. 

He ground his cock up between her legs and she cried out as he rubbed into her. He kissed her and thrust against her until she was panting into his neck. Then she stopped him with seven words that set his blood on fire. 

“The couch,” she whispered. “I want to feel you.” 

Fuck if she needed to tell him twice. 

Instantly he had her laid out beneath him on the sofa and her soft, curvy body molded to his like it was made for him. He bent his head to kiss her; Christ, he couldn’t get _enough_ of her, and then he paused as he felt her fingers pulling at the hem of his tank top. 

Poppy tugged it off him and flung it carelessly to the floor. Then her little hands were all over him, running over his bare skin, his tattoos, his muscles and he sighed quietly at the feel of her. In his whole life, she was the only one who touched him out of love, not anger or pain, desire or strictly because she _wanted_ something from him. She just wanted _him._

_She wants you._

_She wants you._

_She wants you._

These words drummed in the back of his mind as he tugged at her sweater. He threw it over his shoulder and then she was leaning forward so he could unhook her bra. Once it was off, he didn’t go straight for her breasts like he normally would; he just held her flush against him as he traced lines down her arms, her shoulders, the length of her spine. 

She’d _definitely_ lost some weight and he frowned at the thought that it might’ve been because of him, what he’d put her through. But she still felt soft, curvy, _perfect_ and she was clinging to him like her life depended on it. Like the last two weeks had been just as hard on her.

But she was here now, in his arms, and it felt like she’d never left.

Hs fingers twitched down to unbutton her jeans and he helped her shimmy out of them. Then he was standing over her and freeing himself of his sweatpants and boxers. Her wide eyes locked on him as he repositioned himself over her and then he lowered his head to her bare chest. 

He could feel her sliding her fingers across his scalp and then she gently pulled his hair from its half bun. It fell loose around his shoulders and he groaned as she raked her hands through it. 

Tora cupped her breast in one hand and still he marveled at how soft and _big _they were, so full that they spilled out of his palms. He rubbed one large thumb over her nipple and then sealed his mouth over the other. He rolled his tongue across the sensitive little point and she cried out, arching and pushing herself up into him.__

____

Yeah, he needed more of that. 

____

He swirled his tongue across her nipple over and over and _over_ again until she was panting and writhing beneath him. He’d missed this; the feel of her pinned under him, the soft flesh of her naked breasts against his mouth. Poppy ground her hips up into him _hard_ and his breath seized in his chest. Christ, she had to be dripping wet by now and he wanted to taste her. 

____

Tora began to pull at the waistband of her underwear and furrowed his brows at her when she stopped him with both hands pressed against either one of his shoulders. 

____

The hell? She didn’t want him to? 

____

“Not yet,” she answered his silent question as she tried to push him off her. “I want to do something for you first.” 

____

Oh, holy fucking shit. 

____

His eyebrows shot skyward and his eyes widened beneath them. He eagerly pushed himself from the couch and looked down at her. “Where do ya want me?” he asked, his voice gruff with desire. 

____

Poppy stood and pointed at the couch cushions. “Lay down.” 

____

Fuck, anything she wanted. 

____

He watched Poppy slip out of her underwear as he spread himself out on the sofa. He wanted to be there with his fingers, his tongue buried deep in the valley between her legs but he’d wait if that’s what she needed. 

____

Shit, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited to see what she was about to do to him, anyway. 

____

Tora’s gaze locked onto her every move as she planted one knee between his legs and the other foot on the floor. She leaned forward, kissed and nipped at his mouth and he groaned as she made her way down his neck, his chest, his abs and then he could feel her breath hovering over his cock. 

____

Holy. Shit. 

____

This was new; she hadn’t blown him yet and while he couldn’t deny he looked forward to the day it finally happened, he never wanted to rush her. She had to be comfortable with everything they did or he wouldn’t allow it. 

____

But she seemed comfortable _now,_ daring even. 

____

Poppy’s tiny hand wrapped around his length and she stroked at him with a slow, steady rhythm. He hissed at the contact and laid his head back as her touch sent jolts of electricity through his spine and behind his eyes. 

____

His eyes screwed shut as the sensation of her hands on him began to overwhelm him and he thrust his hips up into her grip. Then he felt the wet tip of her tongue roll across the head of his cock. 

____

_Fuuuuuck._

____

Tora couldn’t help himself; he cried out in ecstasy as she did it again. He looked down at her and her eyes met his, wide and excited. “Poppy…” he rasped. 

____

_Please don’t stop._

____

Without breaking eye contact, Poppy took him into her hot little mouth in one fluid motion. 

____

_Heaven._

____

He was in fucking heaven. 

____

She seemed hesitant at first as she tried to build a rhythm between her hands and mouth, then she dropped her palms to his thighs and slowly dragged her lips over him. She’d only taken in about half his length when he lost control and involuntarily bucked his hips into her, desperate for more of her warmth, her wetness. 

____

Poppy paused over his shaft. 

____

_Fuck._

____

Did he hurt her? Offend her? 

____

He was silently berating himself when he felt her splay her palm across his abdomen and continued bobbing her head onto him. 

____

He released a deep breath. He could behave himself, he _would._

____

She slid her mouth down his engorged cock in quicker, bolder motions and his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Fuck, he didn’t know what to do with them. The rougher, dominant part of him wanted to grab hold of her hair or push her head down with his hands. He wouldn’t, but he had to do _something;_ he’d been without touching her for far too long. 

____

Tora slipped his hands to either side of her head and was careful not to apply pressure. He rubbed a thumb over her temple and then to the corner of her mouth, where he could feel her lips puckering as she eagerly sucked away at him. 

____

Poppy sped up her movements then and brought her hand back to his length. Between the pressure of her mouth and the jerking motions of her fist, he could feel the telltale tingles and aches of an orgasm building in his groin. He was panting, moaning and he wanted so desperately to come, but he wouldn’t let himself yet. 

____

Not until she did first. 

____

He sat up quickly and clasped his fingers around her shoulders. He pushed himself out from under her and looked down into her eyes. 

____

“Turn over,” he told her. 

____

As soon as she flipped onto her back, Tora dipped his head between her legs. He planted a kiss on the inside of her left leg, then her right and he heard her gasp. 

____

On top of her mound. One on each side of her opening. One on her center. 

____

Then he flicked his tongue against her clit and she cried out. 

____

He’d been down here several times before and each one was better than the last; he loved her delicate flavor, how _wet_ she always was, how she moaned and squirmed against his mouth. _Nothing_ turned him on more than making her feel good. 

____

He continued to pleasure her with long, slow licks of his tongue; he traced letters against her, random patterns and then pumped his tongue inside of her. When she began thrusting her hips into his mouth, he smiled and mimicked her by placing his hand on her tummy to keep her still. She brought her own hand down and intertwined her fingers with his. 

____

He added one finger to the movements of his tongue and then another; he pumped them hard and fast, determined to make her come. Suddenly she did; she arched soundlessly away from the couch and then her body went limp on the cushions. 

____

Tora stretched himself over her as she rode out the last of her orgasm; his hand stroked at her side and he pressed kisses to her mouth. 

____

“Do you have a condom?” she asked against his lips. 

____

Tora froze. 

____

He’d been dreaming of this moment since the day he met her but after everything they’d just been through, she was ready? She _really_ wanted to do this? With him? 

____

“Are ya sure?” he asked, his eyes searching hers for the smallest trace of doubt. 

____

He found none as she stared at him unblinking and nodded her head yes. 

____

Tora planted a kiss on her lips and crossed the room to the console table. He plucked a condom from his wallet and tore the packet open with his teeth. He rolled it over himself and then positioned himself over her on the sofa. 

____

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her until she was breathless. He couldn’t fucking believe it. After all this time here she was, opening herself and her body to him, preparing to give him everything. 

____

This goddamned angel knew what he was, what he’d _done_ and wanted him anyway. 

____

When her hips began to writhe against his, he grasped his cock in his hand and guided it to her entrance. 

____

“Ready?” he asked. 

____

Suddenly, a row of lines appeared in her forehead and the corners of her mouth tugged down. 

____

_Shit._

____

She knew she could change her mind, right? 

____

“Bobby, ya good?” he asked. 

____

“Um, yeah. I just…” 

____

“S’matter?” 

____

“I’ve just never really done this before?” she squeaked. 

____

_There it was._

____

He’d always suspected it, but they’d never really talked about sex or their past experiences. He just always thought she would tell him when she was ready and the rest would happen naturally. 

____

“Oh,” he said, not wanting her to know he’d already assumed as much. After all, there was nothing _wrong_ with her never having done it. “Ya haven’t?” 

____

“No. Is… is that okay? I should have said something before. I mean, if it turns you off or you don’t want to-“ 

____

Didn’t want to? 

____

He glanced down at his throbbing erection, then looked to her and smirked. “Sweetheart, if ya think I don’t want to, ya obviously haven’t been payin’ attention. S’fine if yer a virgin and s’fine if _you_ don’t want to.” 

____

And he meant it. He’d wait forever if she needed him to. 

____

She blushed and a sigh of relief escaped her lips. “No, I want to. I want you so much it _hurts._ Just… will you go slow? And be gentle with me?” 

____

Tora pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “’Course I will,” he whispered. “I love you Bobby, and I’ll make it good for ya, I promise.” 

____

“I love you, too,” she murmured. 

____

With a shift of his fist, he entered her slowly and carefully. Christ, she was _tight,_ tighter than he’d ever imagined. While there was less pressure than there had been when she’d used her mouth, her inner walls clenched against him and his eyes slid shut as he let out a groan. 

____

God damnit, she felt so fucking _good._ It was going to take every ounce of his strength to control himself, but he was determined to. 

____

It needed to be good for _her._

____

He opened his eyes and poured all his focus onto her face, every micro expression and reaction. When her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth stretched into a grimace, he pulled out a few inches and waited for her face and body to relax before pressing himself back in. 

____

Gradually he began to thrust into her at a steady pace, deeper and deeper until he felt his groin brush against hers. It was all so _intense:_ the emotions, their reunion, the pleasure, the feel of her pussy squeezing and contracting around his cock, that it threatened to overwhelm him. 

____

It took all his years of practicing restraint not to draw himself out and slam into her. 

____

Tora looked down at her; she was cringing again. He froze inside of her and when he did, she cupped his cheek in her hand. 

____

“Please keep going,” she begged, her voice desperate. “Don’t stop, _please._ It won’t hurt forever.” 

____

He sighed. He knew a woman’s first time was supposed to hurt; it was nothing he’d done wrong. But he still hated the idea that she was in pain. 

____

But _Poppy_ had asked him to do something and so he would. 

____

Tora nodded and pressed a kiss to her palm as he continued to thrust into her. Gradually, he could feel her resistance give way and the condom was entirely coated in her wetness. When she began to buck her hips against his, his eyes widened. 

____

“Feel good?” he rasped out. 

____

“Yeah,” she panted and wrapped her legs around his waist to draw him closer. 

____

_Christ._

____

Again, he found himself unsure what to do with his hands. He didn’t want to brace them on either side of her head; he didn’t want her to feel pinned with no escape. 

____

He wanted her to feel safe, comfortable, to trust that he would stop at any point if she needed him to. When she looked up at him and smiled, he smiled back. Tora snaked his hands under her arms and over her shoulders to hug her to him; he wanted her as close as possible. 

____

“Tell me if it gets ta be too much,” he said against her ear. She nodded and pressed her mouth to his. 

____

He returned her kiss and this time practiced no restraint as he began to pump into her _hard._ Tora hummed against her lips as jolts of lightening and blissful, crackling static began to override his senses; he was nearing his last tether of control and he turned his head away from her to cry out. 

____

With every thrust he moaned low and deep and then he bent his head to her ear. “I love you,” he panted out. “I missed ya so _goddamn much.”_

____

She didn’t respond with words and she didn’t have to; the deep kiss that she drew him into told him all he needed to know. 

____

He moved inside of her in a frenzy; his hips slammed rapidly into hers and he saw her eyes roll back, the edges of her mouth curving into a smile. 

____

She was close. 

____

Tora began to rub firm circles over her clit with his thumb and then she was rolling and rocking against him, arching away from the couch. 

____

“Bobby? Did ya come?” he asked as he teetered on the edge himself. 

____

“Y-yeah.” 

____

_Good._

____

He pinned her hips to the couch then and rocked into her until waves of pleasure crashed over his body, his head and then he was drowning in his orgasm, in the feeling of her and the knowledge that she’d come _back._

____

When Tora’s breath returned to him, he slowly pulled out of her and looked into her eyes. He touched her cheeks gently and smoothed the hair away from her face. 

____

“I love you,” he said, savoring the flavor of it on his tongue. 

____

She smiled brightly at him. “I love you, too.” 

____

He shifted to pull the condom off himself and then flung it to the floor. Tora wrapped his big arms around her and hugged her tightly to his chest. 

____

She was _here._ She was warm, happy and healthy. Satisfied. 

____

And he was going to do everything in his power to make sure it stayed that way. 

____

“I’m gonna keep ya safe, Bobby,” he whispered to her. “Whatever it takes.”

____


	15. Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I want to say GET WELL SOON LILYDUSK. And not just because we're all anxiously awaiting the next episode LOL. My husband has over extended his arm before and when I told him about Lily's injury, he told me he felt awful for her. We don't like hearing that our girl is in pain!
> 
> I'm sorry there was no update yesterday; after three chapters of pure angst, one emotional, sexy reunion, not sleeping well for three nights and being attacked by my allergies Thursday morning, I needed a little breather LOL. 
> 
> The next couple of updates may be a bit sporadic as I'm going to be setting up my home office this weekend, but rest assured they are coming! 
> 
> Thank you so so much for being here and for all the love you show me here, on Facebook, etc. There are so many kind, wonderful people in this community and I'm blessed to be among you <3 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Love you all and see you soon, 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“I'll love you til we're black and we're blue  
There's no words I could say to make me change  
My mind’s made up, my thoughts stay the same  
Baby, I love you  
We'll make it through”  
-Carter Hulsey, “Black and Blue”

\---

It felt so good to _hold_ her again. 

After their lovemaking, Tora had stretched out flat on his back on the sofa and Poppy immediately shimmied herself into the space between his body and the cushions. She’d flung one leg over his and curled into him as closely as she could. 

Despite just having had sex with her, the sensation of her naked body pressed into his, her hot breath hovering over his neck, her fingertips trailing across his chest, were doing nothing but building up his desire for her again. Shit, now that they’d crossed that line, it would be a wonder if he ever let her leave the bedroom. 

_Fuck._

He didn’t want her thinking that was the only thing on his mind and she was probably sore after her first time, anyway. He could control himself, but after having been deprived of touching Poppy for two weeks, he needed to _feel_ her, needed to do something with his hands. He began to trace mindless patterns across her shoulder with his fingers and a little moan slipped out of her mouth. 

Tora’s eyes widened at the vibration of her lips on his skin and he felt his cock twitch against his leg. 

Well, shit. That had backfired. 

In an attempt to encourage blood to circulate _away_ from his cock, he yawned and stretched, reaching his arms as far as they would go above his head. There, that seemed to help. He brought his right arm around her and his left hand intertwined with hers across his chest. 

Not only was she the sexiest little thing alive, but he cared about _who_ she was, which made his first time with Poppy the best sex he’d ever had. She wasn’t just a warm body to stick his dick into; she was the first he’d ever loved, the only woman who truly _knew_ him and wanted every part of him, regardless of his deeds. 

Now there were no secrets between them; they could truly be open with each other in every aspect. Obviously, he would spare her the gory details of clan matters, but now he could tell her about his brother and his concerns regarding Kane. Now he could protect her better, keep her safer, knowing he could tell her the truth. 

Tora’s eyes flickered down to their clasped hands as she slowly pulled their fingers apart. She splayed her hand out in the air in front of them. 

“Put your hand against mine,” she said. 

Pfft. Bossy little woman. 

He did as she said and spaced his fingers out until they lined up with hers. 

“You’re so _big,”_ she murmured against his chest. 

Shit, she always made it so easy.

“Bet yer ass, sweetheart,” he said and smirked down at her. 

Poppy swatted lightly at his shoulder and he barked out a laugh. Christ, he’d missed that. 

“You old perv. I mean it. You’re so big, kind of like… larger than life?” He felt her nuzzle her face into his shoulder. “Why are you so much bigger than me, Mr. Six Foot Three?”

Tora curled the tops of his fingers over hers. “I dunno, just got a big body,” he told her. “Been this way since I was a kid. Why are ya so much smaller than me, Miss Five Foot Nothing?”

She scowled up at him and pulled her palm from his. “Hey, I’m five foot something!” she shrieked and lurched her hand toward his cheek. 

He’d been in enough fights to recognize when a blow was heading toward his face; he caught her hand in his left fist and with his right arm, he quickly flipped her beneath him. “Yer somethin’ all right,” he chuckled down at her. “One feisty lil’ hamster.”

She giggled as she attempted to wriggle out from beneath him. _Christ,_ if she kept squirming against him like she was, he was going to have her again. 

“And you’re a bully. Have you been that way since you were a kid, too?”

He caged her with his arms and held onto her tightly. “I was a fuckin’ delinquent. Ya woulda _hated_ me,” he teased her. 

“I’m sure I would’ve been scared of you,” she said as she finally stilled and relaxed her body.

_Thank fuck._

“I was the complete opposite as a kid,” she continued. “I was a huge nerd and got anxious if grownups weren’t around.”

 _Was_ a huge nerd? She was _still_ a nerd and it was one of his favorite things about her. He loved listening to her talk about her books and art, her plants and how she had mastered the perfect way to make hot tea after years of practice. 

She’d also made him watch nearly every Studio Ghibli movie that existed and she cried during each of them. He’d teased her for being a nerd then, but he secretly loved it. She was passionate, she felt more deeply than any other person he’d met and in turn, it made _him_ care about all the same things that she did. 

She was warm, his own personal sun creating life where there was none before and he was a lowly planet, desperate to rotate around her energy. 

Poppy had to know how he felt about her by now, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to tell her. He’d repeat it as many times as she needed, until he was blue in the damn face.

He would tell her… later. 

Right now, he was having too much fun teasing her. 

“Pfft. So lame, Bobby,” he mumbled and smiled against her cheek. 

“Well, not all of us could be cool kids like you and Quincey.”

His eyes glanced up at her and he laughed. “Quincey? That fuckin’ princess? He was never cool. He was a little crybaby piece of shit, always tattlin’ on me and Goliath. Guess I coulda been nicer to him, though,” he said. 

Maybe if he had, things would be different between them now. 

She cocked her head at him. “Goliath?”

At this, he lifted his head to gaze at her, every trace of humor leaving him. Shit, in all the time he’d spent hoping and imagining that one day he might be able to tell her about his brother, he’d completely forgotten that he never actually _did._

And now, he _could._

“S’my brother. My _real_ brother.”

Poppy slid her palm against his cheek. “I’m sorry, Tora. You don’t have to-“

“Nah, s’fine,” he assured her. “Think I got a picture of all of us somewhere if ya wanna see.”

Her eyes widened as she smiled up at him and his heart lurched in his chest; was she just as eager to find out more about him as he was to tell her?

“Sure, I’d love to,” she said.

God damnit, he loved her. 

Tora pressed a quick kiss to her lips before pushing himself off her. He crossed the floor to where the cardboard box sat against the wall and rummaged through it, careful not to bend or tear any of the pages of the Giant Goldfish magazine. His hands shuffled past a bandanna Goliath used to wear when they were kids, an old lighter Alice had given him and then there, at the bottom of the box, was the Polaroid of the Ares Street Kingz. 

Photo in hand, he rejoined Poppy on the couch and stretched out on his back as she curled into his side. He held the picture out in front of them so she could see it. 

How long had it been since he’d looked at it? There they all were, himself, Arlo, Goliath, Comer, Kane and Quincey. Outside of this little square, he couldn’t remember the last time they’d all been in the same place. Shit, up until a couple of nights ago, he was convinced Arlo and Comer were in prison or dead. 

Instead, they’d been pulling some secret shit with Goliath that had almost gotten them killed and Tora briefly wondered if he’d ever see them again. 

He cleared his throat. “I’m sure I don’t gotta tell ya which one’s Quincey,” he said. 

“No, he’s pretty easy to spot,” she giggled. “Where are you?”

He tapped at the image of himself hovering over the hurt little girl in the road behind Quincey. 

“That’s you?” she breathed. “Helping that little girl?”

It felt like it’d happened just yesterday; he could still hear her bike tires skidding across the gravel, the thud of her body hitting the ground, her soft cries as she cradled her knee to her chest. 

Kane barking at him to quit being a pussy and to leave the bitch alone.

“Yeah. Happened right before we took the picture. I was standin’ on the other side of Quincey when I heard her cryin’ behind us. She was ridin’ her bike and caught some loose gravel. Went over to make sure she was okay.”

Unlike Kane, Poppy seemed to be pleased with his softer side; she squeezed him and then planted a big kiss on his cheek. “Pretty sweet, coming from a delinquent.”

He wanted to bask in her own sweetness but was stopped by blood-tinted visions flickering behind his eyes: him, beating a man to death for the first time at 14. His first sniper kill at 18. The look in Heavy Bleeder’s eyes as he delivered the final blow to his head.

“Ya don’t know the half of it,” he murmured. 

“So,” she said after a pause, “who are the other boys?”

“Guy drivin’ is Ronzo,” he said, “the van was his. Then Arlo, Goliath, Comer and… Kane.”

“What was Kane saying to you? Do you remember?” she asked, tapping at Kane’s face, angled over his shoulder to yell at Tora.

He’d never forget it.

He nodded. “Was yellin’ at me ta stop bein’ such a pussy and get my ass back in the picture. Said the bitch would survive and if she didn’t, it wasn’t our problem.”

Tora felt Poppy stiffen beside him. “He said you were being a… a p-word for trying to _help_ someone? What’s wrong with him? Why would he even say something so awful? If I ever get my hands on that _fudging-“_

He wasn’t going to lie, he was happy he could reveal more about who Kane was to her; it would be easier to protect her if she understood. 

And what made him even happier still was that it disturbed her, where Quincey barely seemed to bat an eye at Kane’s issues. Finally, Tora had someone who was willing to listen, who _believed_ him.

He lightly slid a hand over her mouth. “Don’t get angry, ‘kay? I’m dealin’ with Kane, sweetheart. You just worry about avoidin’ him.”

After a moment, she pulled his hand away from her lips. “Tora? What does Kane have against you? Why would he do something so… so… horrible to you and your brother?” she asked. 

Christ, where did he even start? They’d both been orphans, plucked from the streets at age five by Vincent and Martin. Vincent had taken a particular interest in Tora because there was something “feral” about him, while Martin felt Kane held more potential because he was obedient to a fault; _he’d_ never had to be locked in a dog kennel before. Kane had never tried to escape. 

He was… _grateful_ to the clan for the life he now led and he resented Tora for fighting it every step of the way and _still_ ending up as Big Boss Balthuman’s right hand man. 

Tora never wanted it; he knew who he was, where Kane didn’t. He’d glommed on to the first person who granted him any shred of acceptance.

“Kane’s always been insecure ‘bout his place in life. I was sworn into the clan at an early age ‘cuz my boss _saw_ somethin’ in me, or so he says. Kane resented me for it; thought it was the coolest thing to be mafia.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t want any part of it, but I didn’t have a choice. He didn’t get the Balthuman brand ‘til about four years ago. Been tryin’ to prove himself to Vincent ever since.”

Tora would never forget the moment Vincent finally conceded to Martin’s begging of allowing Kane to wear the tattoo. He’d been standing beside him, pulling at a cigarette when his boss finally threw his hands in the air. 

“Fine, Martin, fine!” he’d huffed. “Set it up for your boy to bear the brand. But mind you, this is the _last_ favor I will ever do for you and I'm only agreeing to it because I hope he’s stupid enough to get himself killed.”

“So that’s why he set you up?” Poppy asked. 

He nodded. “Thinks I’m soft and don’t have what it takes to properly serve Vincent and the rest of the clan.”

She sat quietly for a moment, her big eyes blinking slowly as she absorbed everything he told her. “So how did you know it was Kane that set you up?”

“Day of the deal, the load passed through me ‘n Goliath’s hands. Men doin’ the drop are s’posed to be the only ones handlin’ it,” he explained. “Claude pulled us aside to go over some last-minute bullshit detail changes and Kane offered to stack the drugs in the van so we didn’t run late. He was the last one to touch ‘em.”

At the time, he and Goliath hadn’t thought anything of it. Up until then, Kane was just a lot of talk; he’d never _done_ anything to betray their trust. 

Maybe it was what he’d been counting on all along.

“So when you got there… you were short?”

“Mmmhmm. Buyers were furious, said we fucked ‘em over and drew their guns on us. We didn’t, was all there when we packed it. But they didn’t give a shit about that. There was some arguin’ and then one of ‘em… popped a shot off into my brother. Cops raided the place a minute later and arrested everyone.”

Shit, sometimes while he was trying to sleep, he could still hear the bullet leaving the gun, the hard _thud_ of Goliath’s body as it flew back into the concrete. Could hear himself screaming against the sound of the police breaking down the door. 

Suddenly he felt wetness on his chest and he realized that Poppy was crying. “Tora, I’m sorry. I’m _so sorry._ If I had any idea, I wouldn’t have ever gotten into the car with him. I wouldn’t have given him the time of day. I- I _betrayed_ you by trusting the man who got your brother kil-“

Fuck. 

It wasn’t her fault; it never was. If he’d just been honest with her from the beginning, there wouldn’t have been time or room for all this pain to fester and spread, to drive them apart. 

God damnit, he’d tell her anything she ever wanted to know if it kept her from hurting like that again.

Tora squeezed her in a tight embrace. “Hey, sweetheart, s’okay. Ya didn’t know and I shoulda told ya from the start. Don’t blame yerself.” He pressed a kiss to her hair. 

“Ya gotta big heart and try ta see the good in everyone. It’s one of the things I love most about ya.”

Poppy sniffled back her tears. “Well, sometimes it fails me big time. Isn’t there something we can do? Have you talked to Quincey?”

Pfft. He’d done all but literally pounded it into Quincey’s skull.

He nodded. “Tried. Quince is so outta touch with things in the clan and how they work; s’how his dad wanted it. He shielded him from a lot.”

“Who’s his dad?”

“My boss. Vincent.”

He’d always imagined hearing it would come as quite a shock to her and he was right; she laid in silence against him for a handful of minutes. “But wouldn’t Quincey help you?” she finally asked, a slight quaver in her voice. “You’re practically brothers.”

 _Practically,_ for all intents and purposes. But not real brothers. Not like it had been with Goliath. 

But he had to give Quincey credit where it was due; he was why Tora was able to lay here with Poppy right now. “Quincey’s the only reason I did a year in prison. Judge wanted ten minimum with my record, but I had a damn good lawyer.”

“And Quincey trusts Kane?”

_With his life._

“Yeah. Kane’s got that princess twisted ‘round his finger. He’s a manipulative fuck and Quincey believes everythin’ he says. Kane’s also buddies with high ranking clan members like Martin, so he’s got credibility.”

He sighed. “Quincey thinks it was just a drug deal gone wrong. Said he couldn’t believe I messed up so bad and to leave him outta my beef with Kane.”

Poppy sat up then and faced him. “Well, _I’ll_ help you. Maybe I can help you think of a way to get out of this all together. Just tell me what to do.”

There was no better feeling in the world than knowing she was on his side. 

He leaned forward and kissed her firmly. “So feisty,” he chuckled against her lips. “The only thing ya gotta do is keep pretendin’ we’re not seein’ each other, so nothin’ looks off.”

The last Kane knew, they were broken up and Tora was heartbroken. He wasn’t about to tempt him by parading around with her in front of him. 

“But- I-“

“Shhh. Just trust me. I’m gonna handle it. Kay?”

“Okay. I trust you.”

And he would fight like hell to keep it. 

“Good.”

He stood and offered his hand to her. “C’mon, sweetheart. Lemme take ya home.”

“Will you stay the night?” she asked in a rush. 

He chuckled. At this point, she’d be lucky if he didn’t whisk her away and marry her. 

“Try ‘n stop me.”

\---

_Marry her._

It was all Tora could think about as they drove to her place. He’d never considered marriage to _anyone_ before; for a successful marriage to work, there had to be love and he’d never loved a woman, not even close. 

His encounters with them were always so brief, just long enough to take what they needed from each other and afterwards, he couldn’t get away fast enough. He didn’t want to spend an hour with them, let alone the rest of his life. 

But Poppy was different. He knew from the moment her sassy ass turned around and insulted his chocolate milk that he would never leave her side if she agreed to have him. If he married her, he’d have the chance to say it in front of everyone they cared about. Marriage meant never having to hide, not from each other or anyone else. 

In order to marry her, he’d have to leave the clan. 

Tora had wanted to leave for years, since the day he’d been pulled off the streets. But he’d never considered it a possibility or something that he deserved. Vincent said he was feral and he was meant for this. After hearing this all his life, maybe there was a time when he’d finally accepted it. There’d been no reason to fight _back_ before, anyway. At least, no fight that he could win.

Maybe she was what he’d been waiting for all along. 

And fuck if he wouldn’t do anything to have her for life.

They stopped at Ronzo’s favorite diner on the way and while he ordered their meals and something for his friend, he felt a few pairs of eyes on him; looking the way he did, he’d developed a sixth sense for this sort of thing over the years. 

A middle-aged man in the corner, evaluating him beneath the bill of his ball cap. An old woman frowning in his direction. A younger waitress eye-fucking him from behind the counter. 

He paid them no mind, he was used to it and engaging anyone would mean potentially putting Poppy in a dangerous situation. 

As he pulled cash from his pocket to pay for their food, he glanced down at his girlfriend and held back a laugh. She was puffing out her cheeks, furrowing her eyebrows and staring _daggers_ at everyone who had their attention focused on him. She looked about as terrifying as a hamster in a plastic ball, but fuck if it didn’t warm his heart that she felt protective of him, too. 

This five foot woman wanted to help him out of a mafia clan and she looked ready to beat down anyone in this little café who caused him the slightest bit of grief. 

She loved him, he knew that now.

And maybe, if he asked her to marry him one day, she’d say yes. 

\---

“Oi, Ronzo!” Tora called out as he knocked on the security booth window in her parking lot.

He knew Poppy had already met Gyu; he’d gushed about the cookies she’d brought him for two days straight. But she didn’t know who he _really_ was and after her silent little fit at the diner, Tora was determined to show her how much he cared about her, so much so that he’d put one of his hardest working men in charge of her protection. 

And maybe he’d have a little fun with her while he did it. 

Poppy scurried up beside him and yanked hard at his coat sleeve. “Tora! What are you doing? His name is Gyu. I met him last week and…“

Ronzo appeared at the window and lifted it open. “What’s goin’ on, big bro?” He nodded in her direction. “Hey, Poppy.”

She said nothing, just waved at him slowly. 

“Brought ya take out from that damn diner ya like so much,” Tora said and held out a bag to Ronzo. 

He accepted it happily. “Hey, man, thanks! I haven’t had a chance to step away for dinner yet. That was real nice of ya-“

Pfft. Some tough security guard he looked like right now. 

Tora raked a hand through his hair. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said, interrupting his friend’s gush fest. “Eat up, then it’s back ta work.”

“You got it, bro,” Ronzo replied as he shoveled a handful of fries into his mouth. 

As they approached the front door, Poppy turned to him sharply. “Ronzo?” she hissed under her breath. “Your friend with the van?”

 _Fuck,_ was she angry? He hadn’t meant for her to be. He thought she’d appreciate it, but maybe she was still struggling with this whole thing, understanding what his life was really like.

If she truly wanted to stay, she’d have to make a choice. He’d laid everything out on the table and it was up to her to pull out the chair and take a seat. 

He smirked down at her. “Nah. Doesn’t have the van anymore. Got a truck now.”

“So not the point, mister!” she cried out and jabbed a finger into his chest. Christ, she was so damn _feisty._ If anyone could handle being with him, he knew she could. 

“When- how… why is he working here?” she asked. 

“Called him that night ya left. Job opened up the next day and Ronzo took it. Just coverin’ my bases, Bobby,” he said as he took a step into her building. “Told ya I’d make sure ya were safe and I meant it.”

She stood in the doorway unmoving, saying nothing. He allowed her a moment to think and then held out his right hand. “Ya comin’, sweetheart?” he asked, smiling down at her. “Don’t want ya catchin’ a cold.”

He hoped she could hear the questions he’d chosen not to ask out loud. 

_Are you sure you want every part of me? Even the ones that scare you?_

She stared at him, her eyes roaming over his face, down his neck, his chest and then they lingered on his outstretched hand. 

He held his breath. 

Finally, she returned his smile, placed her left hand in his and stepped inside.


	16. Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday, everyone! Sorry for the delayed update; we're still gradually unpacking things at our new house and while it's exciting, it's also pretty draining. Today's chapter is over 5,000 words to make up for it ;) 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and your endless support! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“I’m standing at your door  
It’s been a million miles  
I’ll be the first to say  
I can’t take anymore

And that I wanna be where you are  
I feel the same as I did from the start  
Whoa, I wanna be where you are  
And I’m willing to get there  
There won’t be any hearts breaking again  
This is the part where I stay where I stand  
Oh, I wanna be where you are  
Tell me you’re with me so far”  
-Gavin DeGraw, “Where You Are”

\---

It took everything in Tora not to race up the stairs to Poppy’s apartment. 

A week ago, he’d been sitting in Quincey’s car, waiting for her to come downstairs. He was the ex-boyfriend, an outsider, no longer welcome to take up space in the bubble that was her life. 

This time last week, he’d taken mental note of how pretty and happy she looked climbing into the yellow sports car. Tora had given all credit to their break-up; he’d imagined she was a better person when she was free of him. He could still see that being true. Poppy probably never cried as much before she met him and certainly had less cause to worry. 

And yet, she still _wanted_ him. Wanted him around to talk to, to tease. To share food with, to protect. Wanted him to be near her, _inside_ of her. And now, she wanted him in her apartment, a place he’d only dreamt of seeing again. 

To Tora, it felt like coming home. 

The moment she unlocked the door and he stepped inside, it was like someone pulled on the damn rip cord of his life. His walls caved in, every last flicker of worry or doubt extinguished and he landed safely on the soft ground of her carpet. 

He smiled as he allowed his eyes to readjust to the familiar surroundings of her home: the warm glow of the lamp she’d left on in the corner, her dog-eared copy of Pride n’ Parachute resting on her sofa, the tiny ass dining table that made him cramp up while simultaneously feeling like a perfect fit, like he was worthy of his seat. 

And of course, all her plants dotted along the walls, the ceiling and crowded around her balcony door, leaves outstretched like they were welcoming him inside. 

It was fucking great to be back. 

Once they were both inside, Tora turned and locked the door behind them, then made a beeline for the glass sliding door. His nerves prickled as he tugged at it; she hadn’t gotten the metal grilles installed and he frowned when he noticed the same shitty lock mounted above the handle. Making these changes had been a precautionary suggestion on that first night, before he was aware that Kane knew about them. 

Now? Now Tora was back and he’d make the damn upgrades himself.

“I don’t keep that door open if I’m not here,” came Poppy’s voice from behind him. “I promise.”

Tora turned to face her. It wasn’t _her_ he didn’t trust when it came to the doors of her apartment. “Ya can never be too careful, Bobby,” he said. “I’m gonna get ya some better locks for both doors and install grilles on this glass one.”

Her face scrunched with concern. “Oh, um, I don’t know if my landlord would like you just making changes…”

Pfft. In his life, a little old lady was the least of his worries. He crossed the room to stand in front of her and wrapped his arms around her curvy waist. “Don’t ya worry about that. I’ll talk to her, I can be _very_ charming,” he smirked. 

And if for the first time in his life his charm failed him, he would make the changes anyway and pay for whatever reparations there would be. He made plenty of money; Poppy would never even _miss_ her security deposit. He’d make sure she was always taken care of. 

Poppy raised her eyebrows at him. “What are you going to do? Corner her in her kitchen and take your shirt off?”

Pfft. Would he _ever_ hear the end of that?

Tora laughed. “Nah, I save that fer cute little hamsters.”

She smiled up at him. “Good.”

\---

As they seated themselves at the dining table and divvied out their food from the diner, Tora realized how badly he wanted every day to end like this for him. He could picture himself walking into a warmly decorated home after a 9:00 – 5:00 workday and sitting down to share a meal with his favorite person in the world. 

_Marry her._

These two words thrummed through his mind like the chords of a song and he was tempted to bob his head along to their beat. 

_Marry her._

When he heard them a second time, he glanced up to look at his girlfriend. Poppy was staring back at him and a quick change of emotions flitted across her face. At first, she looked content, as comfortable as he felt. Then the softness of her features fell away and was replaced by a stern, furrowed look, like she was being held captive by some deep thought. 

It was the same look she wore the night she’d given him the painting; the night Kane had texted her the first time. 

He needed to snap Poppy out of it; teasing her usually worked. 

“Stop watchin’ me eat, Bobby. It’s rude.”

At the sound of his voice, her head snapped to the side. “I’m sorry,” she squeaked. 

Well, shit. He hadn’t meant to startle her. Whatever she was thinking about must’ve been pretty heavy. 

He chuckled to ease the tension. “I’m just teasin’ ya. I like when ya look at me.”

She didn’t turn her head and said nothing. The hell was going on in that pretty little head of hers?

“Hey,” he said softly and this time she met his gaze. “Somethin’ on yer mind?”

“Ah, yeah, actually,” she said, her voice hesitant. “It’s just… Trevor. You know, the old security guard?” 

Tora set his burger down in front of him. “Mmmhmm.”

“You didn’t, um… did you or did you have someone else, uh…”

“Ya askin’ if I hurt him to get Ronzo that job?”

She looked down at her hands. “Yes,” she whispered.

_There it was._

For a moment, Tora felt torn: on the one hand, he was warmed by the fact that she cared about Trevor’s well-being, even though he was a shitbag. It was who she was and one of the reasons he loved her as much as he did.

On the other, he was disappointed; not in her, but in the life he lived, in _himself_ for ever giving her a reason to doubt him. 

“Bobby, hey. Look at me,” he said and held out his hands across the table to her. 

She glanced up at him and immediately placed her hands in his, her grip tight. 

“I don’t _like_ ta hurt people. Ya need to always remember that about me. Okay?” He knew she knew this, but he felt the need to reassure her of it again. 

She nodded and he released the breath he was holding. “And as fer Trevor,” he continued, “that prick was shit at his job. When he wasn’t sleepin’ or playin’ on his damn phone, he was cheatin’ on his wife. Right there in the booth, while he was s’posed ta be on duty.”

At this, Poppy’s eyes widened a bit. Clearly, she’d never caught him in the act. “But… how did you know that?”

“Ronzo. He’s into all that techy shit and he’s got eyes everywhere. Told me all about him. I couldn’t have that fuck in charge of yer safety, so I decided ta move Ronzo in.”

She nodded. “So… what did you do?”

“I waited ‘til I saw his lil’ girlfriend show up and then jumped the wall. He came over ta yell at me and I mighta mentioned I knew where he lived, who his wife was and even the name of his fuckin’ toy poodle. Told him I wouldn’t tell a soul ‘bout the shit he was pullin’ if he quit his job on the spot.”

Tora watched as the tension slowly released its grip on her face. “So you didn’t hurt him?” she breathed. 

He shook his head, though he couldn’t deny he’d had the thought to break Trevor’s hands for messing around on his phone or to punch him in the dick for messing around on his wife. Fucking prick. 

“Nah. Told ya, I don’t like to hurt anyone. I only do it if I absolutely have to. And he was a fuckin’ asshole, but he didn’t deserve _that.”_

She sighed deeply. “Okay.”

Tora felt his phone buzz once in his pocket then, alerting him to a new text. He didn’t give a shit if it was Quincey or even Vincent, he’d check it after dinner; the only person he wanted to talk to right now was currently sitting in front of him. 

He gave Poppy’s hands a gentle squeeze, still not totally convinced that she believed him. “Bobby, there’ll be times in my line of work when I’m forced ta hurt people. Whether it’s Vincent barkin’ at me to do it or it’s someone threatenin’ _you._ Just know that whatever the case may be, I don’t wanna do it, but I will if it means keepin’ ya safe. Yer the most important thing in the world ta me. Ya understand?”

Slowly, he watched her face change as she considered his words; it went from being etched with deep lines of concern to the same infuriated look she’d shot people at the diner for staring at him. Then her eyes went soft and muddy as she focused on his own. 

She squeezed his hands back. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Poppy was quiet for a moment more and ran her thumbs over his large knuckles. “I love you,” she said. 

_Marry her._

Tora smiled widely at her. “I love ya, too.”

\---

After dinner, Poppy went to the bathroom to shower and Tora took the opportunity to check his phone while he lounged in the living room.

_Gyu, 1 New Message_

_Hey Big Bro, I got that motion detector you wanted._

Finally. 

Tora called Gyu immediately and he picked up on the first ring.

“Sup, Big Bro?”

It was something he always appreciated and respected about his friend; he was reliable and loyal, whether it was work-related or otherwise. Gyu was the only person Tora would ever trust with Poppy’s safety or the knowledge of his relationship with her.

It also helped that he hated Kane as much as Tora did. 

“Just got yer message,” he said. “Ya got the motion detector all ready ta go?”

“Fer the most part,” Gyu replied. “My guy just dropped it off to me and I still need to configure it. I also need to install the mount and I’ll download the app to your phone when you pick it up. We’ll have to sync it-“

Christ. 

“Ronzo, I don’t need ta know all the hacker shit ya gotta do to it-“

“Well, it’s not really hacker shit, bro. Just your typical configuration and installation of-“

“What time will it be ready?” Tora cut him off. This fucking shit went right over his head. All he needed to know was that it was going to _work._

“At the most, an hour. And that doesn’t include syncing it to your phone.”

Fuck. He’d been hoping he could run downstairs quickly and plant it in the tree outside her balcony before she was done showering. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her to know what he was doing; he was just trying to ease her into all of this shit slowly. 

Tora would rather explain it to her calmly then have her catch him halfway up her tree with something that looked like a camera in his hand. 

Just because she knew he was in the mafia didn’t mean he wanted to rub it in her face. 

“Shit, I’ll hafta wait ‘til she’s asleep and then come pick it up,” he told Gyu as he crossed the room to the front door and gave it a tug. Locked.

“Sure thing, bro. You know where I’ll be.” There was a pause. “So you and Poppy, are you like… a thing or-“

Fucking hell. 

As if she’d been summoned by the sound of her name leaving Gyu’s mouth, Tora heard her emerge from the bathroom. 

“I’ll text ya when I’m on my way down,” he said and ended the call. 

He wandered over to the sliding door and pulled on the handle. Locked. 

“All good?” came her quiet voice from behind him. 

“Yeah. I check ‘em twice. Always have.”

“Not a bad idea,” she replied. “I’m done in the bathroom if you want to shower. I set a clean towel out on the counter for you. There’s a spare toothbrush, too.”

She was always so damn thoughtful. 

“Thanks, Bob-“ he turned around and paused, eyes wide.

Her hair was damp and hanging wild and wavy around her shoulders. She wore a silky maroon robe with pink flowers scattered across it. The robe fell to the tops of her thighs and it was so thin, he could distinctly see the outlines of her breasts and her erect nipples straining against the fabric. 

_Christ,_ was she even wearing underwear under the damn thing?

This thought burned brightly in his brain before it flowed south and smoldered in his cock, which was suddenly hot and hard as iron. 

Finally, she spoke. “Don’t stare, it’s rude,” she teased. 

“Sorry, s’just…” He walked over and stood in front of her. Her cheeks were bright pink and looked as hot as he felt. His hand reached out for the robe belt and slid it between his index and middle fingers. “Are ya wearin’ anythin’ under this?” he rasped.

“Nope,” she said and then smirked up at him. Fucking _smirked._ Shit, this little woman knew exactly what she was doing. And if he had to take a wild guess, she wanted him as badly as he wanted her.

“Good. Keep it that way.” He leaned down and pressed a firm kiss to her mouth. “When I’m outta the shower, yer all mine.”

\---

It required every ounce of strength he had, but somehow Tora managed to _not_ jerk himself off under the pounding spray of water.

It was bad enough that he had a throbbing hard on, but standing in the same place where she had just been naked and wet and being surrounded by the scent of her light, flowery shampoo, knowing she was out there _waiting_ for him…

_Fuck._

He wasn’t sure he’d ever showered so quickly in his life. 

Once he stepped out onto the bathmat, he wound a towel around his waist without bothering to pat himself dry. What was the point? They were about to make a mess of her sheets, anyway. 

At this thought, he smirked to himself. Of course he’d still be careful with her, but it wasn’t her first time anymore. Maybe she’d want to push things a little bit further with him or at the very least give him another blow job. He’d test her first and see what she was willing to do. 

Either way, he was determined to make it good for her.

Tora brushed his teeth with the cartoony little toothbrush she’d set out for him and then snapped off the light. 

It was go time. 

\---

When Tora slipped into Poppy’s bedroom, she was waiting for him under the covers. She had them pulled up just far enough that they rested beneath the swell of her breasts and for a moment, he could do nothing but stare at her from the foot of the bed. 

Why was she so damn perfect?

And why was she so far away?

Finally, he dropped his towel to the floor and beckoned to her with one finger. “C’mere,” he said and tapped the edge of the bed.

She shook her head quickly and flung the covers off herself, revealing every inch of her naked body. 

_Christ._

“No, you come here,” she told him and patted the space next to her. 

Hmmpf. 

Tora tapped the bed again. “I said _come here.”_

He _really_ wanted her to crawl down to him on all fours and take his cock in her mouth. 

“And I said come up _here,”_ she responded and slapped her palm down on the mattress. 

He smirked. 

Sassy little woman. 

He was done with this; she could blow him some other time. He just needed to feel her.

“Enough playin’ for ya,” he growled and grasped his hands around her ankles. 

She squealed, then giggled and kicked playfully at him as he dragged her down the sheets. Once her ass hit the edge of the bed, he dropped to his knees on the floor and spread her legs. 

There was no build up like all the times before and there was no need for it; she was already glistening for him. Once Tora was between her legs, he didn’t hesitate as he sealed his mouth over her. Poppy let out a sharp gasp and then moaned as he slicked his tongue against her. 

Christ, if he were to die right here and now, it would be with a wet smile on his face. 

She continued to moan and shudder as his tongue dipped into her, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted to be completely enveloped, wrapped up in her. He slipped his hands under her thighs and pushed them up to encourage her to curl them around his head. 

Poppy obliged eagerly and he felt her hook her ankles together on the back of his neck. At this angle, with her thighs coiled around his head, she completely overwhelmed his senses. He saw nothing but her swollen folds, could hear nothing but the wet _squelch_ of his tongue as he lapped at her. 

The sweet scent and taste of her wet heat filled his nose, his mouth. As he lightly dragged his teeth over her clit, he felt nothing but her hands burying themselves in his damp hair. 

This was fucking _heaven,_ his own personal paradise. 

Tora continued to slide the hard edge of his teeth over her clit until she was squirming uncontrollably against his mouth. He’d pleasured her enough times to know that this meant she was close; it wouldn’t take much more to push her over the edge. 

He teased at her opening with two fingers until she was panting and gasping for air. _”Please,”_ he heard her beg. 

Anything she wanted. 

Tora slid one finger inside of her and then added another. He pumped at her gently at first; even with as wet as she was, he could feel a slight amount of resistance as she clenched against his fingers. God damnit, she was so fucking _tight_ and he couldn’t wait much longer. 

He began to thrust his fingers into her harder, faster and when her cries grew louder and closer together, he sucked her clit into his mouth. 

He smiled as she shattered around him; her thighs shook hard against his cheeks as she silently arched off the mattress. 

When she collapsed on the bed, her body a soft, silky puddle, he stood and crossed the room to his discarded pants. He pulled out a condom from his wallet and rolled it onto himself. 

She watched him with heavy eyes as he joined her on the bed. He slid one arm around her back as he hovered over her. “Scoot up, sweetheart,” he murmured and she used her heels to shift herself to the middle of the bed. 

He kissed Poppy deeply, then looped her arms around his neck before he grasped his cock and slowly guided it into her. 

A shiver ran through his body as he was connected with her again and he became overwhelmed with the urge to feel her deeper, harder. He rocked his hips and drove himself in a little further. 

“Feel okay?” he whispered, searching her face for any signs of pain. He found none.

“Y-yeah,” she breathed and then closed her eyes and moaned as he pumped into her again. 

Once he was assured that it felt good for her, he began to thrust his hips at a steady pace, desperate to sate his need deep inside of her. His gaze focused in on her face: the wild tendrils of hair that clouded her head, her eyes screwed shut in pleasure, the partial smile of her parted lips as he rammed into her with his cock. 

She was a goddamned angel and could have any man she wanted, but for some reason, she’d chosen _him._

After a moment, she opened her eyes and smiled up at him. Tora cupped one hand behind her head and lifted it to meet his. He kissed her firmly and slipped his tongue past her lips; he wanted to fill her as completely as he possibly could. 

He began to slam into her hard and her hands left his neck to grasp at his arms. The feel of her nails raking into his skin and the tight squeezing of her pussy around his cock sent jolts of lightning crackling to his brain and he tore his mouth from hers to cry out. _”Fuck,_ Poppy, ya feel so goddamn good,” he rasped. 

He’d never had another woman who fit him better than she did. 

As if to prove his point, Poppy wrapped her legs around his back and locked her ankles together, drawing him in closer and deeper. 

_Shit,_ if he wasn’t careful, he was going to come before she did. 

He let out a low, frustrated growl at this thought and nipped at her neck, then lowered his head to her breast. He _had_ to get her there first. He tugged her nipple into his mouth and bit it gently, which caused her to throw an arm around his shoulder to hold him to her. 

Determined to hold himself back, he slowly slid his length out of her and then slammed it back in. Her body racked beneath him as she let out a long, low moan. She liked that, huh? He did it again and was rewarded with deep shudders and another moan, louder this time. 

Fuck yeah. 

He repeated the motion over and over again and felt in complete control of himself until she cried out his name. It was the sexiest thing he ever heard and proved to be his undoing. 

He let out a cry as an orgasm unexpectedly tore through him; his hips jerked once, twice and then one final time as he emptied everything he had into her. 

_Fuuuuuck._

Tora collapsed at her side, breathing hard. “Sorry, Bobby,” he muttered, disappointed at his lack of self control. “Was tryin’ to get ya to come again and then ya yelled my name and I-“

She cut him off by placing a palm over his mouth. “It’s okay,” she assured him. “I’m fi-“

Except it wasn’t okay and he was going to finish what he’d started. 

Her words died in her throat as he plunged two fingers into her. He thrust and pumped and rubbed at her clit the best he knew how until a second orgasm sent her arching off the bed again. 

When they caught their breaths, Tora leaned over and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Gonna go clean myself off, be right back,” he said. He pushed himself from the bed and shuffled into the ensuite bathroom. 

Once inside, he discarded of the used condom and cleaned up with a wad of toilet paper. Between the up and down motions of his hand on himself and the thought that she was just outside the door, naked and satisfied because of _him_ , Tora could feel his cock stirring back to life. 

Fuck. 

Would it ever stop, the _wanting_ her?

He doubted it and even more than that, he hoped she never stopped wanting him either. 

Tora reappeared in the bedroom a moment later and clicked off the light before joining Poppy, who was now under the covers. He stretched out on his back and she immediately dropped her head to rest on his arm. He lightly traced a line from the top of her shoulder to her wrist and she sighed contentedly. 

Yeah, he could get used to this. 

“Tora?” she asked as he slid his fingers through her hair. 

“Mmm?”

“Do you think you could ever… get out?” 

Tora cleared his throat. “Get out… you mean outta the clan?”

“Yeah.”

Fuck, he’d only thought about it every day of his life. Even more so since he’d met and fallen in love with her. It was all he wanted for them, but was there any other way out except…

“I dunno, Poppy. I think about it a lot, but I don’t know if it’s possible unless…” He trailed off, not wanting to voice his next thoughts out loud. 

“Unless what?” she whispered, a hitch in her throat. It seemed like she already knew. 

He sighed. “Unless ya dead.”

Poppy whimpered. “Tora…”

God damnit. 

“Look, sweetheart, I’ve ran it through my head a million times,” he told her. “Ya know what I wouldn’t give to be able ta hold yer hand while we’re walkin’ down the street and not have to look over my shoulder? I don’t want this life for ya, fer us. But it is what it is.”

“But… there has to be something we can do. Anything. It can’t just be life or death.”

_Death._

It had been the only way out for Goliath, but his little brother had told him he’d always wanted more for them. A chance at a normal life outside of the clan. He’d been serious about forming the Ninedaggers clan… maybe he really did have the evidence he’d always claimed he had, too.

“Well, maybe there’s somethin’… s’not a guarantee, but it could be a start.”

Poppy propped herself onto her elbow and looked at him. “What? What is it?”

“Goliath, before he died, said he wanted outta the clan. He hated Vincent fer the way he raised me and he was gonna bring him down. Just thought it was a bunch of talk; my brother had little man syndrome. He was short and made up for it with his mouth.”

Fuck, if his brother was truthful about one thing in his life, let it be this. 

“He said he had hard evidence of illegal clan dealings, meetings with politicians and a list of names that could bring Balthuman down,” Tora continued. “Said he was gonna form a rival clan and stick it to Vincent nine ways to Sunday. Was gonna call it the Ninedaggers.”

Pain jabbed at his chest as the faces of Comer and Arlo came to mind.

Poppy looked thoughtful for a moment. “Do you know what _kind_ of evidence he might have had? Like tape recordings, videos, notes or…”

“Well, he always carried a notebook with him. Betcha anythin’ he had it all written down.”

“Okay. So this evidence… do you know where it might be?”

Tora shrugged. “Never really thought much of it, ta be honest. Like I said, my brother was a mouthy lil’ shit. But… I do have the keys ta his old hide out. It’s an apartment down on Ares Street. Been payin’ the rent on it since he died. Never could seem ta let go of it.”

“Well, that’s something, Tora. I can help you look for it.”

 _No._ No way was he going to drag her ass down to that fucking district. 

“No,” he told her firmly. “I don’t want ya in the middle of this. Ares Street is no place for ya.”

Poppy cupped her hand under his chin and forced him to look at her. “Hey. We’re in this together now and we’re going to get out of it together.”

He smiled and pulled her close to him. “Yer not gonna take no fer an answer, are ya?”

She shook her head. “Nope. And if you refuse to take me, I’ll ask my new friend Ronzo to find out where it is and drive me there.”

“Ronzo knows better than ta cross me,” he told her. The man was loyal to Tora to a fault. 

“Fine. Then I’ll head down to Ares Street on my own and ask around. I’m sure someone will know where it is.”

Hmmpf. Stubborn ass little woman. He believed she’d do it, too. 

Tora narrowed his eyes at her. “How’s it that a woman so cute ‘n little as you can be so damn feisty?”

“When you’re cute and little, you can get away with just about anything.”

He barked out a laugh. God damnit, she was proving to be impossible to say no to. “All right, Bobby, ya win. We’ll head down there in the middle of the day, take Ronzo with us and turn the place upside down.”

Poppy laid back down and cuddled close to him. “Good.”

As they lay there in the darkened quiet, Tora’s eyes roamed across her bedroom. Parts of it were illuminated by shiny ribbons of moonlight and he could make out the shape of her Totoro stuffed animal propped in the corner, a little owl knick knack on her dresser. His eyes came full circle around the room and settled on the droopy nerve plant perched in an orange pot on her nightstand. 

“I love her,” she’d told him after he’d quizzed her on its name and then scowled when it rolled right off her tongue. “But she’s so dramatic. She droops at the drop of a hat and once you give her a drink, she bounces right back, like nothing happened. I think they got their name because they get on your nerves,” she’d chuckled. 

“Bobby?” he said quietly.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry I broke that pot ya gave me. I never meant fer it to happen.”

She yawned and leaned over to kiss him gently on the lips. “It’s okay, Tora. I can get you a new one.”

_Never._

“Don’t want a new one. I managed ta glue some of the pieces back together, but don’t think I did such a good job. Will ya help me finish it?”

She nodded heavily against his shoulder. “We’ll fix it,” she mumbled sleepily. “I promise you, we’ll fix it.”


	17. Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeep, we're getting into THIS part of the story and I'm excited/getting super emotional thinking about what's to come. 
> 
> A special thanks to GeekGoddess for reminding me that the song "Morning Theft" by Jeff Buckley exists. It was PERFECT for this chapter! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy and as always, thank you for reading <3
> 
> Love you all and see you soon, 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Love brings us to who we need  
A place where we can save  
A heart that beats as  
Both siphon and reservoir”  
-Jeff Buckley, “Morning Theft”

\---

Tora didn’t mean to doze off; he’d had every intention of texting Gyu as soon as Poppy fell asleep. 

But between having her heat and curves pressed against him and listening to the peaceful sound of her breathing, he’d drifted off and only roused when his phone began buzzing on the nightstand. 

“Tora,” he rasped out as he answered. 

Gyu’s quiet voice filled his ear. “Hey, bro… did I wake ya?”

“Shit. Yeah, sorry, Ronzo,” he murmured and tried to sit up until he realized his left arm was still lying captive beneath her head. “Time is it?”

“’Bout three,” his friend replied. “And it’s fine, I didn’t know if she’d fallen asleep yet or not. I get off at six, so we still got a few hours if-“

“Nah, she’s asleep. Be down in a couple of minutes. Thanks fer callin’,” he said and hung up. 

Tora glanced over at his girlfriend who was now lying on her side, snuggled into his chest and snoring lightly. Christ, she couldn’t get any fucking cuter if she tried. 

He smiled at the thought and then a frown immediately replaced the crescent on his face as he realized he was probably going to wake her when he pulled his left arm free. 

He grit his teeth together and gently began to slide himself off the bed, determined to embody all the silence and stealth of a jungle cat. He thought he was doing great until her cheek left the plane of his chest; immediately she made a sound like a squeaking kitten and fluttered her eyes open. 

He froze. 

Shit. 

“Where are you going?” she mumbled as she sat up slowly. “Is everything okay?”

Tora sighed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Everythin’s fine, sweetheart. Gotta go downstairs ‘n talk ta Ronzo real quick. Gonna take your keys so I can lock the door behind me, okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

At his soft reassurances, Poppy laid her head back down on the pillow. “Just, mmm- be careful, okay?”

“Always am.”

\---

Tora slouched, arms crossed, in the security guard booth beside Gyu as he did whatever he had to do with the motion detector and Tora’s cell phone. This little building was a tighter fit than he’d initially thought and his shoulders were starting to ache.

How much longer was this going to take? 

Once his friend started to explain he needed to download the app and then sync it to some kind of tooth device, Tora stopped listening. 

Installing apps from a store and gadgets with teeth? He’d never understand this hacker shit and he was fine with that. 

As long as it did what he needed it to, he’d be happy. 

“So,” Gyu said as they waited, “you never answered my question.”

“Yeah, I did,” Tora replied and rubbed at his face with his hands. “Told you I was sleepin’ and ya woke me up.”

Gyu chuckled. “Nah, not that one. My _other_ question. About you and Poppy.”

Tora glared down at him. The hell did he wanna know? How they met? Were they dating? Or… how the sex was? It was definitely something Quincey would ask, but he wasn’t about to talk about her like _that_ with anyone, not even his frie-

“Whoa. Bro, I can see ya getting worked up. Relax. I mean no disrespect,” Gyu said. “I just… I like her. She’s a nice girl. I know you’ve been avoiding women even longer than I have because of the clan and if you’re datin’ her, I’m happy for ya. Gives me hope, like maybe it’s possible that I don’t have to die alone, ya know?”

Tora sighed, immediately disappointed in himself for thinking the worst of Gyu. He just felt so damn _protective_ of her, especially now that Kane knew what Poppy meant to him. 

He hadn’t thought that Gyu might simply be asking because he actually _cared_ or because he was curious about what it was like. 

Tora had never been able to talk about Poppy with anyone before, it’d always seemed safer to just avoid the subject. But there was a reason he’d enlisted Gyu’s help in protecting her; he was loyal and dependable, always had been. 

He could tell him about her. 

And maybe, if Goliath’s evidence against the Balthumans existed, he’d be able to get Gyu out of the clan, too. Then he’d know for himself what it was like to share his life with someone.

“Ah, yeah. I’m datin’ her,” Tora began, but it tasted… _wrong_ on his tongue. He tried again.

“Actually, s’more than that. I… I love her. Think I have since the second I saw her at Quincey’s party,” he admitted to his friend. 

Christ, he felt like his chest was going to explode. It felt so fucking _good_ to finally say it out loud. 

Gyu smiled. “I figured, since ya were going to all this trouble for her.”

“It’s ‘cuz of Kane,” Tora said. “I know I’ve told ya this before, but he’s the reason Goliath is dead. That fucker has it out for me and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect her from him.”

“Shit,” Gyu said as he sucked in a breath. He sat quietly and looked thoughtful for a moment. “I won’t tell anyone what we’re doin’ here. I promise.”

Tora knew he wouldn’t, but it felt good to hear him say it.

“And I know it’s probably not easy for ya to talk about, but… I miss your brother,” Gyu continued. “He was a little shit, but he was always a good friend ta me.”

Tora could feel his throat closing in on itself and he blinked back the tears welling in his eyes. “Yeah. I miss him too. And speakin’ of Goliath, I wanted to ask you…” he trailed off. He knew he could trust Gyu, but could he trust that his brother _really_ had the proof he’d always claimed he did? He didn’t want to give his friend false hope. 

Or himself, for that matter. 

“Oh, it finished syncing,” Gyu said and handed Tora’s phone back to him. “Sorry it took so long to get it for ya. I had Vincent jumpin’ down my throat to get the names of those Ninedaggers guys. Didn’t wanna tell him that Comer and Arlo were part of it, but I was afraid of what would happen if he found out I was lyin’ to him…”

Tora sighed. They at least needed to try. He owed it to his friend, himself.

To her. 

“Gyu, what do ya remember ‘bout Goliath’s notebook?”

\---

Tora breathed a deep sigh of relief as he worked his way down the tree outside of her balcony. He felt lighter after confiding in Gyu, not only about his relationship with her, but his plan to bring down the Balthumans. His friend had listened carefully, almost _eagerly_ and agreed to help him search Goliath’s apartment later that day. 

He dropped down to the pavement quietly and shook out the dead leaves from his hair as he looked up at the tree branch where he’d mounted the motion detector. 

He cared about Gyu, but if the thing didn’t work the way he said it would, he’d beat his ass. 

Tora made his way upstairs and once he was inside, he locked the door behind him. He toed his shoes off and turned the volume up on his phone as he crossed the room to the patio door. He stepped out onto the balcony and paced back and forth a few times, anxiously waiting for his phone to go off. If there was any kind of delay…

Suddenly, it did. A shrill beep that sounded nothing like any of his other ringtones and a notification flashed across his screen. 

_MOVEMENT DETECTED AT 4:51 AM_

He smiled. Fuckin’ Ronzo. He’d never doubt him again. 

Satisfied, Tora made his way back inside and padded softly into Poppy’s bedroom. Was she asleep? The room was so damn dark, he couldn’t tell. He quietly stripped out of his clothes and slipped into the bed as quickly as he dared until he was beside her. 

He hadn’t taken so much as a breath when her little hands reached out for him. 

Fuck, he’d woken her up again. 

Tora wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to his body. He hadn’t been gone long, but fuck if he didn’t miss feeling her pressed against him.

Two weeks without her had felt like a lifetime.

Poppy let out a deep sigh and he smiled. “Everything okay?” she asked. “Are you all right?”

He planted a kiss on her hair and inhaled deeply; she always smelled so damn good. “S’okay, Bobby. Sorry I woke ya. Ronzo had somethin’ ready fer me, so I went and picked it up. Go back to sleep.”

He’d disturbed her rest enough for one night and he’d talk to her about it in the morning; if he told her now, she might be too nervous to sleep.

“What was it?” she pressed. 

So stubborn, even when she was half-awake. 

“I’ll tell ya in the mornin’, kid,” he said. _”Now go to sleep.”_

\---

Tora finally rolled out of bed at nine thirty the next morning to the sound and smell of bacon frying. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so long or so _hard._ Admittedly his couch was a poor substitute for a real bed, but he’d grown used to it over the years. Aside from the occasional sore neck, he typically had no problem dozing off on it.

The last two weeks had been a totally different story. 

Not only had he been plagued with nightmares about Poppy, but he’d had a taste of what it felt like to sleep next to her; once that was taken away from him, it was like he didn’t know how else to rest. She was his warmth, his relief and he’d never been as comfortable in his whole life as when she was nestled beside him. 

And now she was cooking _breakfast_ for him?

Fuck, his life just kept getting better. 

Tora tugged on his boxers and made his way into the kitchen where he was met with the sight of Poppy hovered over the stove; she had on that silk robe from last night and it was draped loosely over her curves. 

He groaned internally. Christ, was this sexy little thing trying to kill him?

He walked up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. “Mornin’,” he mumbled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Good morning,” she responded cheerily and he felt her run one hand along his arm. “There’s hot water in the kettle if you want a cup of tea and breakfast should be ready in a couple of minutes. Go make yourself comfy and I’ll bring you a plate.”

She really was too good to him. 

“Damn, Bobby. Ya didn’t have ta go to all this trouble,” he said around a yawn. “I coulda picked somethin’ up for us at a café. Or… were ya just that excited to cook fer me again?” He smirked at the back of her head. 

“It’s not trouble. I love cooking for you,” she told him. “It feels good. Now, get your tea and go sit down. On the double, mister.”

“Pfft. Whatever ya say, boss.”

Tora prepared two mugs of green tea and then settled himself down at the dining table. He could wake up to this every morning: the comfort of laying beside her in bed, sharing breakfast with her before they started their day. Once they were married, he’d learn to cook and make her-

He froze mid sip of his tea. 

_Once_ they were married?

Shit, they hadn’t even talked about it and here he was, acting like she had a ring on her finger. 

He couldn’t deny he wanted it, though. 

Now that he knew what it felt like to be without her, he was determined to never let it happen again; he would only leave if she made him. He wanted to see her every day, live in a house with her, share the same bed. Not only did it feel like the next logical step of a serious relationship, it felt _right._

Tora would ask her to marry him, he was sure of it now. 

One day, when the time was right. 

\---

“So,” Tora said after he’d finished eating, “talked ta Ronzo last night. His shift today doesn’t start ‘til six. If ya don’t have any plans, we can run down ta my brother’s old apartment and look for that notebook.”

“Really?” she asked. “Today?”

“Yeah,” he responded, unsure if the weird tone in her voice was due to anticipation or disappointment. “It’s small and shouldn’t take more than a couple hours ta do a thorough search.”

She looked thoughtful for a moment and then slowly nodded her head. She was probably still adjusting to all of this and he couldn’t blame her for that; it was a lot to take in. 

“Okay, I don’t have any plans. What time were you thinking?” she asked. 

“Ah, dunno. Maybe noon? Gives Ronzo plenty of time before he has ta clock in.”

“Okay, sounds good. And speaking of Ronzo… what did he have ready for you last night?”

He sighed inwardly. She deserved the truth and he would give it to her like he promised. 

“Motion detector,” he said plainly. If he downplayed it, maybe it wouldn’t sound so weird to her. “Installed it in the tree outside ya balcony.”

Her eyes widened. 

Shit, so much for that. 

“So… so you were climbing my tree at three in the morning?” she breathed. 

Well, it’s not like he could take it back. 

“Yeah. Didn’t want anyone seein’ me do it,” he told her. “Ronzo can’t be in the guard booth every second of his life and until I can get ya some better locks and grilles, it’ll do.”

Tora raised an eyebrow at her. “I just want ya safe, Bobby,” he reminded her gently. 

At this her body seemed to relax and she smiled at him. “So how’s it work? It’s not going to be filming me… is it?” she asked. 

He laughed at her and shook his head. “I may be a perv for ya, Bobby, but I respect ya. Doesn’t have camera or audio. Just sends an alert to my phone if there’s movement on ya balcony.”

Another smile bloomed across her face. “I know you respect me, Tora. And thank you for everything you do to make sure I’m safe.”

He flashed a wide grin back at her. “’Course, Bobby. I love ya and I’m gonna take care of ya.”

For the rest of her life, if she’d let him. 

To prove his point, he stood to clear their mess from the table; he might not be much of a cook, but he could still help her out by washing the dishes. 

“Leave them,” she spoke out. 

He sighed. “This again? Ya cooked, I can clean ‘em.”

Was she… _blushing?_

“No, that’s fine,” she said. “You can clean them later. I just… um, do you want to take a shower?”

He smirked at the little woman sitting across the table. She was ready to go again, huh?

Fuck, he was down, but he’d have a little fun with her first. 

“Showered last night, sweetheart. Whatcha really askin’?”

Poppy rolled her eyes at him. “You _know_ what I’m asking, Tora.”

“I know. Just wanna hear ya say it.”

_That fucking blush._

“Do you want to take a shower with _me?”_ she asked. 

In a second, he rounded the table and hoisted her over his shoulder. She giggled and squealed as he smacked her ass and then carried her down the hall.

\---

At 12:45 that afternoon, Tora was unlocking the door to Goliath’s apartment and stepping inside. Poppy and Gyu were sitting in his car in the alley, waiting on his text for the all clear. 

He hadn’t been to the apartment in quite a few days and wanted to make sure there were no squatters hiding out inside. On Ares Street, it was always a possibility. 

He took note of a window in the bedroom that was unlocked, but they were old and didn’t seal the way they used to. He’d be sure to come back with some wood boards to wedge between the panes. 

As he made his way back to the living room, his phone buzzed with a text from Quincey. 

_Help, I need you :(_

Fucking Christ. 

Tora rolled his eyes. Leave it to Quincey to pretend everything away.

He hadn’t talked to Quincey since yesterday; after the whole incident with Kane, he didn’t really have anything else to say to him. As far as Tora was concerned, they weren’t brothers; shit, they were barely friends. Quincey was his client and he was his bodyguard. If it wasn’t about work, Tora wasn’t interested. 

He hadn’t sent the code, so obviously it wasn’t too dire. Probably just another break up. 

_are you dying?_

_No, but Jonathan’s flight out here was cancelled and now he doesn’t want to come visit until next month. Will you bring me some wine and ice cream and come watch movies with me?? <3 _

_later tonight. working right now._

Tora did one more sweep of the front rooms and then sent Poppy a text. 

_all’s clear, come on up. Ronzo knows the way._

\---

Once the three of them had settled inside the apartment, Tora gave instructions. Things would go more quickly and efficiently if there was a plan and everyone knew what rooms to cover. 

“Okay, I’m gonna tackle the kitchen and bedroom. Ronzo, ya wanna go through his desk? Poppy, ya good with searchin’ the livin’ room?” he asked. 

They both nodded at him.

“Good. Now, I’m gonna say this. My brother was a clever lil’ shit. This notebook of his could be anywhere, so don’t hold back. Turn the damn rooms upside down. I don’t care if ya gotta cut into cushions or flip furniture. Understand?”

Gyu nodded and ventured down the hallway, laptop in tow. 

Tora could feel his pulse thumping in his ears and his blood felt hot and wrong, like it was flowing too quickly through his body.

He wanted to find it so _badly,_ if only for the sake of the two other people in this tiny apartment. 

“Tora?” Poppy said. 

“Yeah, Bobby?” 

“We’re going to find it, okay? I know we are.”

Leave it to her to always know exactly what to say. 

He threw a small smile at her. “I believe ya, kid.”

“Do you have something for me to cut into the couch with?” she asked. 

“Yeah, brought yer box cutter with me,” he said and dug it out of his pocket. He handed it to her. “Hope ya don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind,” she said and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. “Now get going, mister. On the double.”

\---

Tora turned those goddamn rooms upside down and found nothing. 

He’d cleared every kitchen cabinet, even looked through the fridge and under it. Tora lifted every ceiling tile and even checked the wide arms of the ceiling fan. Every pot with a lid, between every plate, the stove, the microwave. 

Nothing.

When he got to Goliath’s bedroom, he’d emptied every dresser drawer, the nightstand, the totes beneath the bed after he’d flipped it over. He borrowed the box cutter from Poppy and slashed into the mattress, leaving no stitch undone. He rifled through the closet, the boxes inside, the large pockets of the coats his brother had left behind. 

By the time it was all said and done, Tora was drenched in sweat and his chest was heaving to catch his breath.

Nothing. 

He’d found nothing.

 _”Yer nothin’ but a bunch of talk,”_ he used to tell Goliath. 

Nothing.

It’s all it ever was. 

\---

At the two-hour mark, Tora decided to check on Gyu and Poppy’s progress. 

Tora went storming down the hallway and when he reached the living room, he was met with the sight of the two of them sitting on what was left of the couch. 

“Anythin’?” he asked.

Gyu didn’t look at him; he just stared straight ahead into the room. “I’m sorry, Big Bro. We didn’t find nothin’,” he said. 

His heart sank as he looked to Poppy for confirmation. 

She gazed back at him sadly. “Tora… just because we didn’t find it doesn’t mean it’s not here. Maybe if we stepped away for now and came back another day…”

_We didn’t find it._

_We didn’t find it._

_We didn’t find it._

These words stabbed viciously into his brain and he began to pace back and forth in the room. His hands were shaking; he was itching to punch something. He raked them through his hair in an attempt to make the feeling go away. 

“Ya don’t get it, Bobby,” he told her. “Ya don’t get many chances to take down someone like Vincent. My brother said he had motherfucking _proof_ that could destroy him. Ran his mouth ‘bout it all the time and now he’s just _gone.”_

Fuck, had Goliath even put the Ninedaggers clan into motion or was it something Comer and Arlo had taken upon themselves to do after he was killed? Something to honor his memory?

At one time, they’d probably been Tora’s only hope. And he’d been forced to stop them with four bullets and a sniper rifle. 

_Fuck._

Tora’s hands lowered into fists at his sides. “This coulda been my way out. A shot at a normal life with ya. Damnit. Knowin’ him, it was probably a fuckin’ lie. A pipe dream ta make me feel better about the shit life I was livin’. Just a bunch of talk,” he spat. “All he ever was.”

Fucking Goliath. 

He _hated_ him. 

_”That goddamn motherfuckin’ asshole!”_ he boomed and lost all control of his feet, his hands. He charged the bookcase on the far wall and threw it down onto its side. He watched with a strange satisfaction as the shelves busted and the paper contents spilled out like entrails, but that pride dissolved at the sound of Poppy yelping behind him. 

“Tora! Getting angry isn’t going to help us find it any faster,” she said as she crossed the room and planted her feet in front of him. “We’re going to get you out of this. I promise.”

He said nothing, just stared down at her. Christ, he was trembling all over. 

Poppy pulled on the neck of his shirt until he finally lowered his head to her level. “I’m not giving up, okay?” she said. 

He shuddered in her grip and wrapped his arms around the tiny woman in front of him, his center, his reason. “Sorry,” he mumbled into her shoulder. “Just don’t know what else ta do.”

“We just have to keep looking. It’ll turn-“

She cut herself off and froze in his embrace. 

“Tora.”

“Hmm?”

He felt her lift her arm behind him. He turned and his eyes followed where she was pointing. 

On the floor, next to the pile of scattered novels and comic books was the deck of poker cards, opened and halfway empty. All of the cards had been cut about three quarters of the way down and sliding out from the bottom of the box was a small, black flash drive.


	18. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, did you guys say you missed the angst? Because I have a crap ton of it for you today :( 
> 
> I hope you're still enjoying Tora's view of things! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and being here, you the best <3
> 
> Love you all and see you soon, 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Last born of the clan  
First one to be free  
Lived inside a house  
Beneath the hanging tree

Londonderry nights  
That chilled him to the bone  
Words were cried at night  
In unforgiving tones”  
-Vampire Weekend, “Jonathan Low”

\---

For Tora, the concept of doubt had always been easy, familiar, an old friend he’d shared most of his life with. 

It was there, a gnawing ache in his stomach at five years old. His belly growling with hunger, which was often. 

_Will Mr. Balthuman feed me today?_

Doubtful. 

It was there, a sharp pain in his chest at fourteen years old. His arm cocked back, preparing to swing.

_Will Mr. Balthuman let this man live?_

Doubtful. 

It was there, a piercing throb in his brain at eighteen years old. His eyes in the sights of a sniper rifle, preparing to shoot. 

_Will I miss?_

Doubtful. 

It had taken twenty-six years and meeting Poppy before Tora felt the ice block of doubt in his body begin to melt away. And even then, after meeting someone who looked at everything with such a positive light, it was difficult to navigate through. It had remained frozen in him for so long. 

The doubt, while no longer solid, turned into rough waters that washed over him, that he sometimes had trouble holding his head above.

He still doubted Quincey and if they were ever brothers. He experienced doubt when Poppy left him; he didn’t believe she would ever come back. He doubted Gyu and his loyalty, his skills with electronics. 

He doubted Goliath and every word that came out of his mouth. 

Doubt trickled from Tora gradually and sometimes entire days would pass when he didn’t feel like he was drowning. The day that Poppy appeared on his doorstep, it had rolled off him in waves. 

Last night, Gyu had helped him set up the motion detector. When Tora realized it worked, he could feel doubt dripping down his spine. 

Today, however, he’d felt water crashing over him, leaving him choking and gasping for air. 

_Will we find the notebook?_

Doubtful. 

And then his brother had thrown him a lifeline in the shape of a black flash drive.

If there was something on it that could bring down the Balthuman clan, Tora doubted he would ever doubt the people in his life again.

\---

After a handful of moments silently staring at the little device, Gyu finally stood and plucked it from the card box. “Your brother was a clever lil’ shit, all right,” he breathed to Tora. 

Tora could do nothing but tighten his grip on Poppy and nod in response. 

Something. 

They’d found _something._

“Whaddya think’s on here?” Gyu asked. 

“Dunno,” Tora told him after a brief pause. “Wasn’t even thinkin’ we were gonna find anythin’.”

“Welp, only one way to find out,” his friend replied and perched himself on the sofa frame, laptop balanced on his knees. 

While Gyu worked, Tora felt Poppy’s arms slide around his waist. “Hey,” she said and he looked down into her big, brown eyes. “No matter what’s on that thing, it’s going to be okay. You know that, right? I’ll be here for the next step, whatever it is.”

How? How did she always know just what to say?

He smiled at her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “I know,” he murmured and felt a sudden, gnawing urge to apologize to her. For what exactly, he wasn’t sure. Sorry that they were here? That she had fallen in love with a criminal? 

Sorry that she had to fight for a normal life with him? She could have it with any other guy who walked down the street and it would be as easy as breathing. 

Shit, where did he even start?

“I love ya, Bobby,” he finally said. “And I’m _so sorry…”_

He was interrupted by Gyu’s voice cutting through the living room. “Big Bro, it’s password protected. I can navigate my way around it, but it might take me a few hours. He was yer brother, do ya have any idea what it might be?”

Oh, for fucking Christ’s sake, not this hacker shit again.

Tora looked at Gyu as he racked his brain for possibilities. The flash drive had been in a deck of cards and everyone knew how much Goliath liked the casino. “Ah… shit. Fucker loved ta gamble. Maybe his favorite game?” he guessed. “Try ‘blackjack.’”

Gyu typed on his keyboard. “Nah, s’not it. What else? Maybe somethin’ more personal?”

Personal. 

If Tora had a password for anything, he’d use a variation of Poppy’s name. Bobby, probably. Or Poppylan. It would be easy to remember and he liked the idea of her name being tied to something that protected him. 

Tora raked his hand through his hair. “Try ‘Reyna.’ R-E-Y-N-A. Name of a girl he was obsessed with in high school.”

As far as he knew, Goliath had never gotten over her. 

More typing. “Nah. What else ya got, bro?”

God fucking damnit, he was ready to throw that laptop against the wall. 

Tora threw his hands up in the air in defeat. “Fuck if I know, Ronzo!” he barked out. “I hate this hacker shit… Ya know I don’t get how any of this works-“

“Well, technically, this ain’t hacker shit, Big Bro. This is just guessin’-“

“All right, smart ass, what else do ya suggest?”

“Dunno,” Gyu shrugged. “I’ve seen all sorts of shit. Name of a childhood pet, the street ya grew up on…”

Shit from childhood? He and Goliath really didn’t have much of one. They’d grown up separately, only to be reunited by the clan in their teens. Goliath had probably never owned a pet before and Tora wasn’t sure where his brother had lived. After their mother died-

_Mother._

“’Murakami.’ M-U-R-A-K-A-M-I. Try that.” Tora looked down at Poppy. It was what he used as a last name on paper, the only one he’d ever wanted to claim. Maybe, if she agreed to marry him, it could be her last name, too. 

“Our mom’s maiden name,” he told her. “One of the only things we knew ‘bout her.”

Poppy smiled up at Tora and gave him a tight squeeze. Then the typing of keys, followed by Gyu’s elated voice, broke through the room. 

“Bro. _I’m in.”_

\---

Tora and Poppy settled themselves on either side of Gyu and stared at the open window on the laptop. 

“What is all this? The hell are we lookin’ at?” Tora asked and touched his index finger to the screen. The contents on the screen shifted and then suddenly they were gone. 

What the fuck?

Gyu let out a frustrated sigh. “Damnit, bro, it’s a touch screen.” He clicked the window open again. “It’s _sensitive._ Just… keep yer hands to yaself, kay?”

 _This little shit._

He’d keep his hands off the computer screen, all right. They’d be too busy busting Gyu’s leg. 

Tora glared at Gyu. “If Poppylan wasn’t here right now…”

“I know, I know, ya’d break my other leg,” Gyu shook his head. 

Shit, he did threaten him with that a lot, didn’t he?

“Looks like a buncha video files,” Gyu continued. “They’re not labeled or organized any specific way, just looks like it goes by the date and time they were added to the flash drive.”

“Okay…” Poppy said. “Should we just start from the beginning and work our way down?”

“Makes the most sense ta me,” Gyu said and clicked on the first file. 

A video began playing and Tora immediately recognized it as a Balthuman meeting in the private room at Chevy’s. If he squinted, he could make out his silhouette at the table, slumped down in his chair. Hmmpf. Probably bored out of his mind; he always was when it came to clan gatherings. 

“Is this at Chevy’s?” Poppy asked. 

“Yeah, s’their favorite place for clan gatherings,” Tora told her. “Ronzo works at the bar there when he’s not watchin’ over yer place.”

Poppy nodded. She looked a little… disturbed and Tora hated himself for it. They were delving deeper into his world with these video files and he wasn’t sure how ugly it was going to get. 

“Can’t really hear what they’re sayin’,” Tora said after a moment. “Try the next one.”

Gyu clicked the second link. More footage of the same shit. 

“Fuck, skip down a few,” he barked to Gyu. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Poppy raise an eyebrow at him. 

Hmmpf. She was bossy without even needing to use words. 

_”Please,”_ he said firmly and eyed her with a smirk. 

She smirked back at him and then turned her face to the screen. 

Gyu had clicked on a file about halfway down the page and when the window opened, they were met with the sight of a dirty warehouse. Tora recognized it immediately; it was a warehouse on the south side of Ares Street, not far from where he’d planted himself for the sniper attack on the Ninedaggers. It was the clan’s typical location for loading drugs, which was exactly what the people on the video were doing. 

The footage was grainy and he couldn’t make out the identity of any of the men. And unless they were public officials of Narin City, Tora wasn’t interested. 

“Damnit, where are the fuckin’ videos of politicians? This shit is useless if ya can’t see the fuckers faces,” he said on a sigh. He could feel doubt rising like bile in the back of his throat. “Fuck, Goliath. Just… _fuck.”_

“Bro, there’s still a buncha files we haven’t looked through,” Gyu said. “Don’t get discouraged yet. The fact that this shit even exists is _huge._ Let’s try one more and I’ll check the others on my guard shift tonight.”

Shit. He was lucky to have someone like Gyu on his side. If there was anyone that had follow through with helping to take down the clan, it was him. 

Tora clapped a hand around his friend’s shoulder. “Thanks, Gyu,” he said. 

“No problem,” Gyu replied and then selected a random video file. 

The three of them were instantly faced with a scene Tora recalled all too well. 

On the far-right side of the screen, a man named Mr. Rasmussin was bound tightly to a chair. He was a local businessman who had fallen on hard times and taken a loan out from the clan. He’d never paid a cent of it back and Vincent had dragged both he and Tora in to collect the “final debt.”

Standing across from him, Tora recognized his fifteen-year-old self with his back to the camera. To his left side stood his boss, arms crossed, waiting. 

“Tora,” Poppy breathed, “is that…”

“Vincent,” he told her quietly, as though he were afraid the older man would hear him through the screen. 

Vincent spoke then and his voice was crystal clear. “Tora… we’ve been over this several times, son. You have a job to finish.”

 _Fuck,_ he knew how this particular scene ended and he should’ve told Gyu to stop it right there; they could watch it together later, when Poppy wasn’t around. She had no business seeing this. 

But his mouth wouldn’t work and his eyes would not leave the screen. It was all unfolding before him: this horrific, _incredible_ scene that had been orchestrated by Vincent with the purpose of breaking him was in fact the very same moment that could grant Tora and Gyu their freedom. 

“No,” Video Tora said. “I don’t want to.”

Vincent sighed. “You’re trying my patience. Do as I say and we can go home.”

Hmmpf. Home. As if Vincent ever knew the meaning of the word. 

_”NO!”_ Video Tora bellowed and his whole body shook. Tora could hear Mr. Rasmussin moaning and sobbing and then he thought he heard a whimper. He turned his head to the side and noticed tears pouring down Poppy’s cheeks. Fuck. If this video didn’t cut off soon, he was going to make Gyu shut it down. 

“You little fucking _idiot,”_ Vincent sneered and slapped Video Tora across the face. It had been eleven years, but he could still feel the burning hot sting on his cheek. 

“I’ve told you what will happen if you disobey me. Do you _really_ want that?” Vincent asked. 

“Don’t care if you kill me,” Video Tora replied. 

His boss chuckled. “I think you’ll care in a moment,” he said and then turned his head to call out to someone off camera. “Send him in!”

The three of them watched as Tora’s younger, blue-haired brother was led in by Martin. His hands were bound and his face was strained. Martin forced Goliath to his knees beside Vincent and then backed out of frame. 

Vincent reached into his jacket pocket and withdrew his small silver blade. Kane had one just like it; he thought it would impress Vincent to know that he looked up to him. 

The older man settled the blade against Goliath’s throat. “Kill the bastard,” Vincent said through clenched teeth, “or I’ll paint the floor with your brother’s blood.”

Fuck, if this video kept going, which he had a funny feeling it would, then Poppy would see him murder someone. She had such a positive, bright outlook on life; it was all she’d ever known and he wanted to keep it that way for her.

“Poppy, look away,” he said and slid his arm behind Gyu to place his hand on hers. “I don’t want ya seein’ this.”

It was like she wasn’t even hearing him. 

“Don’t hurt him,” Video Tora said in a panic. “I’ll… I’ll do whatever you want.”

Vincent cocked his head at Video Tora, his blade paused over Goliath’s neck. 

“Whatever you want, Mr. Balthuman, _sir.”_

Satisfied, Vincent tucked the blade back inside his jacket pocket and then crossed his arms. “I’m waiting, son.”

Tora glanced at his girlfriend, whose eyes were still glued to the screen. 

_Fuck, fuck, FUCK._

_”Poppy-“_ he said and lunged at her from behind Gyu, but he wasn’t quick enough. He could tell she’d seen everything from the horrified look in her eyes and the sob that escaped her mouth. 

Tora scooted down the couch behind Gyu and clutched her tightly in his arms. His friend pushed himself off the sofa to give them space and Tora sat them up; he rocked her against his chest and cradled her head in his hand. 

“Damnit, Poppylan, I told ya to look away,” he said gently into her ear. She wouldn’t stop crying and he could feel his shirt getting wet from her tears. 

Christ, she was probably terrified of him and would never want him to touch her again. She was in shock, she _had_ to be; it was the only reason she was letting him hold her now. 

“I’m sorry ya had to see me like that, I never wanted-“

“I’m _so sorry_ he made you do that,” Poppy sputtered in his arms. “It’s not your fault. It’s not you. _I know it isn’t you.”_

As much as he hated to see her cry, he had to admit he was relieved to hear these choked words come out of her mouth. She truly saw him, understood him, in a way no one else ever had. 

“I’m sorry, Big Bro,” Gyu said quietly from the center of the room. “I shoulda turned it off before it went too far.”

“S’all right, Gyu,” Tora said over Poppy’s head. “We needed ta know what was on that drive.”

“Well, this is a damn good start,” his friend said. “Did ya notice the time and date stamp on that last video? Ya were what, 14? 15?”

“15,” Tora replied and he felt a shudder roll through Poppy’s body. “Goliath was 14.”

“Ya were a _minor,_ bro. And bein’ forced to commit violence under threat of them hurtin’ you and ya family. Think it’s called duress or some shit.”

“Yeah, but what about all the shit I did after I turned 18? Dunno what the courts would hafta say about that…”

“Dunno either, bro, but I can ask my sister,” Gyu said and Tora’s jaw clenched. Did he really want to get involved with Lane again? She had pushed hard for him to serve the maximum sentence after the drug raid. Maybe she’d change her mind about him after she saw the videos.

“She could tell me what to expect if we were to turn over that type of evidence to her,” he continued. “Ya got Vincent’s face and name right there on that video. It all points ta him, maybe they could get him on human traffickin’ or some shit.”

Gyu shook his head. “How the fuck did Goliath pull this off? Filmin’ this shit at 14?”

Tora shrugged and ran his fingers through Poppy’s hair. “Dunno. Had to have had help, maybe someone else in the clan.”

“Maybe Prestin,” Gyu said. “He was pretty deep into the technical side of shit before he was killed.”

It made sense; Prestin and Goliath had been friends since Goliath was a teen and maybe his brother was the _reason_ Prestin had been killed. 

“Yeah, could be,” Tora replied. 

“I’ll look into the rest of the videos on my shift tonight and call my sister. She’s workin’ tonight and has access to-“

Tora’s phone beeped in his pocket and he froze as he realized it was the new alert for the motion detector. He dug his phone out and glanced at the screen. 

_MOVEMENT DETECTED AT 4:46 PM_

Shit. Shit. _Shit._

He looked into his girlfriend’s eyes. 

“We gotta go. Poppy, _someone’s on ya balcony.”_

\---

Tora silently berated himself the entire ride back to Poppy’s apartment. 

Why had he thought it was a good idea to leave her place unguarded? It wasn’t like he’d left it unprotected with her inside, but _still._ Kane or one of his buddies clearly had eyes on the place and had taken quick advantage of their absence. He was getting bolder, braver. 

It didn’t matter to him whether Tora and Poppy were broken up or back together; she was still a target for having been anything to him in the first place. 

_Fuck._

Tora pulled out his phone and called Quincey. “Is Kane at ya place?” he asked when Quincey answered. “I feel… bad ‘bout what happened yesterday and wanted ta apologize to him. Dunno what I was thinkin’.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so glad to hear that! I don’t know what you were thinking either. Unfortunately, he’s not here. He was but he left a couple of hours ago. He said he had some errands to run.”

Tora’s jaw clenched. It was him, he was sure of it. “Ah, okay. I’ll try to find him. Thanks.”

He went to hang up the phone, but Quincey stopped him. “Honey, you’re still coming over tonight, right? I really don’t want to be alone.”

He rolled his eyes. Fucking goddamn princess. 

“Yeah, be by later,” he said and ended the call. 

When they arrived at Poppy’s apartment, Tora threw the car into park and faced her. “Poppy, ya stay in the car with Ronzo until I text ya. _Do not_ come upstairs ‘til I tell ya to, understand?”

The way he was barking orders at her and the way she was looking at him set off flashes of painful memories behind his eyes. 

_Poppy, sprawled out on the floor._

_Tears in her eyes._

Finally, she nodded.

Tora sighed and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’m sorry,” he murmured and wondered if there would ever come a day when she wouldn’t accept his apology. He turned to Gyu. “Ronzo, can ya get started on trackin’ Kane’s car?”

His friend nodded and opened his laptop. “Gettin’ it pulled up now, bro.”

Tora looked at Poppy again. “S’gonna be okay, Bobby. I’ll take care of this,” he told her and then exited the car before she could say another word. 

He heard the gate click open for him and he walked across the lot quickly, with one hand hovering over the handgun at his back. Tora took a quick glance around and then ducked inside the building. 

Tora quietly made his way up the four flights of stairs and kept his handgun concealed. Poppy had called her landlord on the ride there to check on her. Mrs. Haru had been home; she sounded completely normal, as though she had no idea what happened within the last hour and Tora was determined to keep it that way. 

When he finally reached Poppy’s door, he withdrew the gun from his waistband and as he went to slip the key into the lock, his pulse thundered in his ears as he realized the door was already open.

He slowly tapped it open with the nose of his gun and when he had the slightest view of her living room, he pointed it inside. It was quiet and still. No furniture was damaged or overturned and nothing was missing, as far as he could tell. 

Tora stepped further into the room, shut the door behind him and found himself wishing that her sofa had been slashed or her tv had been taken. Anything would’ve been better than what he found. 

All of Poppy’s books had been ripped to shreds. Her plants and canvases, too. Her easel had been broken into four pieces and as he made a slow tour through the rest of the rooms, he noticed her family pictures had been cut up, as well as all the art on her walls. When he reached her bedroom, he was met with the scrapped remains of his hoodie strewn across the carpet. 

Everything she loved, all of it irreplaceable, had been destroyed. 

In turn, it was going to destroy her. 

Some way, he didn’t care how, Tora was going to murder Kane. He should’ve done it already. Then he wouldn’t have had this opportunity to hurt Poppy. 

_Fuck._

He made one last search through the rooms and once he was convinced there was no one in her home, he replaced the handgun at his waist. When he did, his phone beeped from his pocket. 

_Gyu, 1 New Message_

_The tracking history shows Kane was here about half an hour ago._

_RED._

He’d already known it, but to have it confirmed by someone else angered him in a new way he couldn’t fully explain. 

Tora typed out a message to Gyu to bring her up but then thought better of it and erased it. Poppy was going to be devastated and this was her home; she was allowed to cry and kick and scream as much as she wanted without feeling like she had to hold herself back in certain company. 

While he was in prison, in his own grief for his brother, he’d held all his rage and hurt back; he had to, otherwise he risked isolation or time being added on to his sentence. Being constricted was no way to mourn and she deserved that freedom. 

Tora sighed deeply as he typed out a message to her. 

_all clear. have Ronzo walk you to the door, then you come up alone._

A handful of minutes later, there was a knock at the door.


	19. Fix You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, more angst, but this time it involves smut! So... hooray? 
> 
> It might read as angry and rough sex, because that's how Poppy is feeling when it happens, but trust me when I say it's consensual... Tora is 100% on board ;) 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and being here <3
> 
> Love you all and see you soon, 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Oh and tears come streaming down your face  
And I

Tears streaming down your face  
I promise you I will learn from all my mistakes  
Oh and the tears streaming down your face  
And I

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you”  
-Coldplay, “Fix You”

\---

In his life, Tora had used his large body in a variety of ways. He’d used it in the gym, pushing it to its limits to build as much muscle as he could. He treated it as a receptacle for protein, for ingesting foods of specific diets to maintain the mass he’d built. 

He used it to intimidate men during debt collections or to charm people he needed information from. He used it to extract pleasure from women, to take what he needed and then walk away as fast as he could. 

He used it to maim, to shoot, to kill. 

In his life, he’d never used it to affectionately wrap someone in a hug, to hold their hand or hold them close while they slept. 

Not until Poppy. 

And now, as he opened the door to her timid knocks, it was the first time he would use his body to shield the person he loved from something he didn’t want them to see. 

For a moment, he couldn’t say anything. When he looked down into her big, brown eyes, he could see the fear, the concern, the burning questions she had. 

Tora hated to be the one with the answers. He was going to break her heart and there was no way around it. 

“What happened?” she finally whispered. “Is there someone…”

“No one’s here but you ‘n me, Bobby,” he responded quietly. 

“Why didn’t you want Gyu to come up?”

He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “I wanted to give ya time… ta take everythin’ in. Yer gonna be upset and I didn’t want him here for that. This is yer home and ya have every right ta react how you want to, without worryin’ about what someone else is gonna think.”

Poppy nodded slowly. “Okay. I’m ready.”

Maybe she was, but Tora wasn’t. 

He sighed deeply as he offered his hand to her. Here he was, welcoming her into her own apartment, but it wasn’t _hers_ anymore. The moment he’d first stepped through her door, he’d tainted it. This was the life he led every day and now it had reached her home, the place she should feel safest.

In the span of an hour, it had been taken from her and it was all Tora’s fault. 

She stared at his large hand for a long moment before taking it and allowing him to lead her inside. 

\---

Poppy walked in with her head held high and her tiny hand still clasped in Tora’s. Gradually, he watched her entire demeanor change as she began to take stock of what Kane had done: her shoulders slouched when she saw her tattered books and she dropped his hand when she was met with the sight of her shredded plants. 

Tora wanted to reach for her, to curl her into his body and hold on tight. Wanted to grip her face in his hands so she could look nowhere but into his eyes and see how sorry he was, see that he was going to make Kane pay for her pain. 

But he wouldn’t. She deserved the freedom to see it and he also wanted her to be able to tell him everything that had been destroyed, so he could replace what he could. 

Poppy made her way to the corner of the living room and picked up one of the pieces of the wooden easel. “This was a gift from my granny,” she whispered and set it back down. “It was hers when she was my age.”

_Fuck._

Tora fought to keep from choking up as he spoke. “Sweetheart, I’m so-“

He trailed off as she kept moving slowly through the room away from him. She picked up pieces of her family photos and studied them intently before setting them back down. He followed her as she moved down the hall into her bedroom; she said nothing as her eyes roamed over the slashed artwork on the walls and then to what was left of his hoodie. 

Finally, she sat down on the bed and stared absently at a spot on the floor. Tora leaned on the doorframe for a handful of minutes, watching her and waiting for a reaction. He wished she would cry, scream, tell him she hated him, _anything._ Anything would be better than the eerie silence he was currently faced with. 

What was she thinking?

Eventually, he moved to join her on the bed and curled his arms around her. He bent his head close to her ear and whispered the only words he’d been thinking since he stepped foot into her apartment this afternoon. “I’m not gonna let him get away with this, Bobby. He’s gonna pay for every single thing he’s done to ya.”

“How do you know it was him?” she asked quietly. 

“Ronzo sent me a text while ya were comin’ upstairs. The trackin’ history he was able to pull said Kane was here ‘bout half an hour ago.”

Without a word, Poppy gently pushed his hands away and like a robot, stood from the bed and moved into the hall. Tora followed her and watched as she stiffly dropped to her knees and began picking up the discarded pages of her books. 

Tora was at her side in an instant and placed his palms over her hands. She’d already spent far too long looking at the damage Kane had done; the last thing she needed to be doing was cleaning up after him. 

“Bobby, lemme do this for ya. I’ll put everythin’ back together nice and neat and vacuum ya carpet.”

“No,” Poppy said. “I have to do this. I can do this.” 

Fuck, she didn’t even _sound_ like herself. 

Tora cupped her face in his hands; her eyes were still focused on the scattered papers and her hands were picking them up from the carpet. 

“Bobby, hey. Look at me. Sweetheart, _please,”_ he begged. After a moment, her eyes rolled up to meet his, looking but unseeing.

This wasn’t good. It scared the ever-living shit out of him and he knew in that moment, he couldn’t leave her alone here. Not feeling the way she was. He didn’t _want_ to leave. He wanted to be here every day to protect her and at the same time, hopefully he could be a comforting presence.

“I wanna move in here with ya until I handle things with Kane. He clearly knows ‘bout us and he’s gonna keep pullin’ this shit ‘til he gets what he wants. I wanna keep ya safe and this is the only way I know how. Okay?” he asked, silently pleading with his eyes. 

It was like a light switched on in her brain; she blinked at him and dropped the papers from her hands, then suddenly she gasped and tears filled her eyes. 

Poppy launched herself into his chest. “I don’t want you to go,” she told him firmly. “Please stay.”

Thank Christ. 

He wrapped his arms around her and cocooned her tightly against him. “I was hopin’ you’d say that,” he murmured. “I got a few errands to run for Quincey tonight and I’ll grab my things while I’m out. Is there anythin’ ya want? Anythin’ I can bring ya?”

She shook her head. “Nothing I can think of right now.”

Of course. Tora was heading out to buy ice cream and wine for Quincey and half expected Poppy to request the same; they seemed to be common cures for heartache. But he should’ve known better; his girlfriend was stronger and braver than that fucking princess could ever hope to be.

Still, as strong and brave as she was, he _hated_ to leave her alone, even if it was for just a couple of hours.

He dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Okay. Ya should be safe while I’m out, Ronzo will be here the rest of the night and he knows ta keep tabs on Kane.” He paused and looked around the room at the overturned planters and her shredded artwork, her books. 

Actually… maybe it would be best to get her away for a bit, instead of sitting here with the mess staring her in the face, taunting her.

“Ah, unless there’s somewhere else you wanna go? A friend’s or somethin’? I can have one of my men take ya and I’ll pick you up after I’m done?” Tyson would do it and he could be trusted with something as precious as Poppy. 

Again, she shook her head. “I’ll just stay here. I’ll clean and make dinner for us.”

_No._

Anything but that. 

“Poppy, I can clean when I come back. I don’t want ya to hafta deal with it.”

“I’ll be fine, Tora. Really. I sort of want some time alone to say goodbye, if that makes sense?”

He understood all too well what she meant; he would’ve given anything to have a few quiet moments to say goodbye to his brother. 

He nodded. “I get it. Just don’t overwhelm yerself, sweetheart. If ya start to get upset, step away or leave it fer me when I get home, okay?”

_Home._

A word he’d said several times in his life, but never understood the meaning of until he met her. She had turned this apartment into a haven for him, a warm space with light and life growing inside. 

And he was determined to do the same for her now. 

\---

When Tora walked into Quincey’s penthouse with a quart of cookie dough ice cream and a bottle of Moscato wine, the blonde man was bounding across the living room to greet him at the door. 

“Ugh, _finally_ you’re here!” he chirped and took the grocery bag from Tora. “You kept me waiting all day and that’s so unlike you. Everything okay?”

“Will be,” Tora gruffed out and crossed his arms. His jaw was clenched and every cell in his body was screaming at him to leave; he wanted to get back to her as soon as possible. 

“Oh, um, okay. Well, I’ll go grab a couple of glasses and spoons for us. Be right back!” Quincey said and sauntered off into the kitchen. 

Tora crossed the room and fired up a cigarette as he perched himself on the edge of the sofa. A pile of DVD’s was stacked on Quincey’s coffee table and Tora flipped through them.

 _Sleepless in Seattle,_ _Pretty Woman,_ _Romeo and Juliet._

Jesus fucking Christ. 

Quincey plopped down beside Tora and set a small tray down on the coffee table with the tub of ice cream on it, two spoons, two wine glasses and the opened bottle of Moscato. 

“Oh!” Quincey exclaimed as he began to pour the wine, “I see you’re looking through my sad movie stash. I pulled those off the shelf, but I don’t think I’m really feeling any of them. I just bought another one and I kind of want to watch it. That okay?” he asked. 

“Don’t care,” Tora mumbled and set the pile of DVD’s down. 

“Okay, I’ll go grab it,” Quincey said and wandered down the hall into his bedroom. He returned with a DVD wrapped in plastic and handed it to Tora. 

Tora sucked in a breath as he looked down at the case. 

_Pride and Prejudice._

“I know, it’s been out for ages and I’m late to the game, but I’ve heard great things about it,” Quincey babbled as he settled in beside Tora. “Plus, Keira Knightley is _hot,_ right? She has the prettiest…”

Tora didn’t hear the next words that came out of Quincey’s mouth. Fuck if he was staying here another second with his selfish ass client while Poppy was suffering and _fuck_ if he was going to watch this movie with anyone but her. 

He stood up and handed the DVD to Quincey before stubbing out his cigarette. “Gotta go,” he told him and headed for the door. 

“Huh? Honey, wait! Did Dad text you or-“

“No one texted me, princess,” he spat at him over his shoulder. “There’s someone else that needs me more than you right now and I wanna be there for her.”

 _”Her?”_ Quincey asked as Tora closed the door behind him. 

\---

Tora packed his things quickly: a few changes of clothes, his ball cap, protein powder. Glock, ammo, locking gun holster. He walked into the bathroom and grabbed his body wash, shampoo and toothbrush from the medicine cabinet. 

His eyes landed on a box of condoms and for a moment, he thought he shouldn’t pack it. It seemed rude, insensitive; Poppy was devastated right now and sex was probably the furthest thing from her mind. 

But… what if he was wrong? What if she wanted to be close to him for comfort, to feel loved? What if they started getting carried away and he had to tell her no? The last thing he wanted to do was reject her when she was feeling upset. 

After another minute of contemplation, Tora picked up the box and shoved it into his bag. 

He sped all the way to Poppy’s apartment and when he turned the key in her lock, he could hear muffled wailing coming from the other side of the door. 

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

He knew he shouldn’t have left her alone. 

Tora swung the door open and was met with the sight of his fetal girlfriend crying and screaming on the living room floor. 

Heart booming behind his ribs, he dropped his bag to the floor and ran to her side. He lifted her into his arms, where he cradled her like a baby, rocking her back and forth. 

“Poppy, are ya hurt?” he asked in a panic. “What happened? Are ya okay?” He moved one hand down her arm and gently squeezed at her wrists, then her elbows, her knees. 

She shook her head against his arm. “M-my dad,” she sputtered. “There are pieces m-missing and I couldn’t, I _can’t…”_

Tora wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but he felt every ounce of the pain she was feeling. He’d run her a hot bath; it would help with the congestion from crying and hopefully relax her at the same time.

He pressed a kiss to her temple. “C’mon, sweetheart,” he said and lifted her from the floor.

\---

Tora helped her undress and let the hot water run until it was nearly to the lip of the tub. He’d pay the water bill, he’d pay for everything, _replace_ everything if it meant he could make her feel better. 

Once she was submerged in the bath, he took a seat on the floor beside her. He bent his legs, propped his elbows on his knees and stared at a random spot on the wall across from him. 

Christ, he couldn’t even bring himself to look at her. He was too ashamed. This was all his fucking fault; he might as well have been the one who ripped her plants to pieces and shredded all her family memories. 

He was the biggest piece of shit that ever lived and he never deserved her. He was an idiot for ever thinking otherwise. 

“I lied to ya, Bobby,” he finally said. 

He heard the water sloshing around her body as she turned to face him. “What do you mean?”

He shifted his glare to the floor. “The first time ya texted me, the night we met. I told ya with me you never have to worry. But you do. All the damn time.” He rubbed his hands over his face before continuing. 

“I _hate_ seein’ ya cry and knowin’ I’m the reason for it. You coulda stayed away.”

At this thought, he could feel tears brimming in his eyes. He didn’t bother to wipe them away before he turned and looked at her. “I would’ve missed ya so goddamn much, but I woulda understood. You’d be safer, happier. I just can’t help but think I… God damnit, I _ruined ya life.”_

A choked sob escaped his throat and then she was stepping out of the tub. She positioned herself in his lap, her body naked and dripping water everywhere. Tora clung to her desperately and buried his face in her neck. “I’m so sorry, I’m so fuckin’ sorry,” he murmured against her slick skin. 

As she wrapped her arms around him and ran her fingers through his hair, Tora felt like an asshole. Here she was, hurting after having every precious thing in her life destroyed and _she_ was comforting _him._ What a class fucking act he was. 

“Tora, you didn’t ruin anything,” she whispered into his ear. “You _made_ my life. There is _nothing_ that would make me not want you.”

At her gentle words, Tora could feel watery doubt building in his eyes and then spilling down his cheeks. Christ, he loved her. He loved her so _goddamn much._

Her tone changed then, laced with venom and bitterness. _”Kane_ hurt me, but he didn’t ruin my life either. I’m still breathing, I’m still here. And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you.”

Blaming himself was a reflex and he couldn’t help the next words that came out of his mouth. “But if it weren’t fer me, he never woulda-“

“You are not responsible for the horrible things he chooses to say and do,” Poppy told him firmly and grabbed his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. “You are _not_ him.”

They held each other quietly on the floor until Poppy began to shiver against the cool air. She stood and offered her tiny hands to him. He took them and pushed himself from the floor. He reached for the fluffy towel hanging on the door and wrapped her inside of it.

They walked into her bedroom together; Poppy let the towel fall away from her body and helped Tora strip from his damp clothes. They fell heavily into the bed and said nothing. Instead, they laid on their sides, facing each other and letting their hands roam over each other’s bodies. 

Eventually, when she began to feel too far away, Tora pulled her closer and held onto her tightly until he fell asleep.

\---

The next day, Sunday, Tora was determined to be stronger than he had been the night before. Poppy didn’t need the burden of comforting him on top of everything else she was going through. She needed support and he was going to give it to her. 

They woke up together and after some persistence on his part, he made breakfast for her: toast with avocado slices and green tea, something he knew he wouldn’t fuck up. He set the table and after they ate, he cleared it and washed the dishes. When she came up to stand beside him at the sink, he shooed her out of the kitchen: “Go relax, Bobby. Put ya feet up.”

After he’d dried the last dish, he joined her on the couch. He settled himself on the cushion next to her and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. 

“Pick out a movie you’d like,” she said and handed him the remote. 

“Nah,” he said, handing it back to her. “Watch whatever ya want, sweetheart.”

He watched as she clicked through the titles on Netflix before finally choosing an action movie. 

Tora rolled his eyes at her. “Put somethin’ else on,” he told her firmly. “That Pride ‘n Petticoats movie or some shit.”

She huffed at him and made no move to switch the movie over, so he took the remote back and did it himself. 

They reached the point in the movie where Elizabeth was confronting Mr. Darcy about that _asshole_ Mr. Wickham and Tora could feel unease growing in his chest. He wanted to feel closer to her, so he told her to lie down and put her head in his lap. 

“I wanna play with ya hair,” he told her softly. “It’ll help ya relax.”

Poppy sighed deeply. _”Tora-“_

 _”Please,_ sweetheart,” he cut her off, “just let me do this for ya.”

Poppy blinked at him and opened her mouth, then closed it again. She lowered her head down into his lap and he ran his fingers through her long hair until the end credits rolled. 

\---

When the movie was over, Poppy sat up and turned around to face him. It made Tora happy to see that her eyes looked brighter and her cheeks were a little redder. 

He offered her a small smile. “Hey, beautiful,” he murmured and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. 

As Tora began to pull his head away from her, she threw her arms around his neck and held him to her, deepening the kiss. 

He wasn’t expecting it, but he more than welcomed the feel of her tongue slicking against his and the firm movement of their mouths against each other. 

Poppy shifted her hips until she was straddling his lap and his hard on was digging into her center. She began thrusting into him roughly and he let out a long moan. It all felt so _good,_ her mouth, her soft curves, the friction of their lower bodies meeting. 

More. 

He wanted to feel _more_ of her and make her feel as good as he could. 

Tora wound his arms around her lower back and adjusted her legs until they were wrapped around his waist, then settled her on her back on the floor. 

He stretched himself out over her and tucked his knees between her legs for balance. He ran his hands over the length of her arms and brought them above her head, interlacing his fingers with hers. 

Tora kissed her softly at first, barely brushing her lips with his. He wanted to take his time and properly worship her; to express how sorry he was and how deeply he loved her. 

It was a good time to remind her of such things. 

He kissed her more firmly and sucked in a breath when Poppy nipped at his bottom lip. He groaned against her mouth and ground his pelvis hard into hers. She wrapped her legs around his back in response and pulled him closer, then broke her mouth away from his long enough to tug his shirt over his head. 

Poppy threw his t-shirt carelessly behind her and raked her nails over his bare back. He shuddered and could feel his body desperately wanting to respond to her fevered gestures, but he couldn’t. She had been through a lot in the past twenty-four hours; Kane had just destroyed valuable parts of her and she was diving deeper into the dangerous underworld of Narin City. 

He was _not_ going to be rough with her, not when the world had already shown her enough roughness to last a lifetime. 

Tora was pulling gently at the hem of her t-shirt before she yanked it from him and then shoved it off herself frantically, followed by her bra. 

Once they were skin to skin, he could feel Poppy’s fingers scrabbling at the button of his pants. Tora pressed into her chest and slid his arms beneath her to restrain her movements. She was so soft, so warm, so small and _fragile_ and he just wanted to hold her for a moment. 

Poppy grunted in protest and shimmied her arms low enough to unzip his pants. Then her mouth was at his ear. 

“Tora,” she hissed. “I want you to be rough with me. _Right now.”_

His head snapped up to look at her. She’d never been so brazen with him before; it had to be her emotions speaking for her. “Bobby, I-“

“Please, _just do it.”_

Tora sighed and pushed himself off her. How could he explain that he just didn’t have it in him to do _that_ to her right now? He loved her too much to risk hurting her when she was _already_ in pain. 

He stood and pushed his boxers and pants from himself before crossing the room to the gym bag he’d brought with him. He dug out the box of condoms, pulled one out and rolled it down his length. When he returned to her, she was completely naked and spreading her legs wide for him. 

He guided his cock into her slowly and she gasped as he entered her. His eyes screwed shut at the feel of her; Christ, would she _always_ be this tight? He forced himself to hold back as he slowly rolled his hips over hers, each thrust fluid and gentle. 

Apparently, it wasn’t enough for Poppy; she wound her legs around him and clenched him to her tightly. 

“Harder,” she whimpered to him. 

Tora pressed into her with a little more force and clenched his jaw against the urge to slam into her. She needed to feel safe, protected, loved. 

He continued to stroke into her evenly, deeply, slowly. Faintly, he could feel the tingle of an orgasm building at the base of his spine. At this pace, it would be awhile before he’d come, which was fine with him. He wanted to pleasure her first, anyway. 

Suddenly Poppy’s little hands were pressing into his chest as she attempted to push him off her. He stopped his movements and looked down at her. 

Had he pumped into her at a weird angle? Was she not wet enough? She didn’t _feel_ like she’d dried up on him. Christ, if he hurt her…

“S’matter? Did I hurt ya, Bobby?”

“No. You could never hurt me. Roll over.”

His eyebrows rose. Was she pissed? Did she want to stop? 

“Pop-“

“Tora, get off of me and _roll over.”_

After a moment, he finally decided to do as she said and laid flat on his back. Tora wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but if she needed to have some semblance of control right now, he’d give it to her.

At most, he expected an angry blowjob; what he didn’t see coming was Poppy swinging her leg over him and straddling his lap. 

He could feel his eyes widening as she grasped his cock in her hand and then slowly lowered herself onto him. 

Holy. Fuck.

 _This_ was new. 

Tora wanted to keep his eyes open and take in the view before him: his gorgeous, curvy girlfriend pleasuring herself on his length, her full breasts bouncing, her head thrown back in ecstasy, but he found that he couldn’t. She felt _incredible_ in this position and he was so turned on by her confidence that his eyelids slipped shut. 

As Poppy continued to ride him, she gradually began to pick up her pace and find her rhythm; each pump down on him sent shockwaves through his body. He could only imagine how sexy she must’ve felt, how strong and as badly as he wanted to thrust up into her, he wouldn’t. He wanted her to have control for as long as she possibly could. 

He felt her palms splay themselves across his abdomen and then she _slammed_ herself down onto him, sucking almost his entire length into her pussy. He moaned and dug his fingers into her thighs. Christ, if she kept doing that…

Tora cried out as she did it again and again and _again_. “ _Fuck,_ Poppy,” he moaned and finally gave in to the urge to drive himself into her. 

At this angle, he could get deeper and it felt less likely that he could hurt her; she’d be able to lift herself from him if it got too intense. He gripped her legs and then her ass as he stroked his cock into her as hard as he could. Poppy cried out at his thrusts and the feel of her thick thighs trembling around him almost sent him over the edge. 

Fuck, this was the best it had ever been and he was way closer to orgasm than he would’ve liked. He didn’t think she’d come yet and he needed her to. 

He meant to say something to her, _anything_ but she began slamming herself down on him so _furiously;_ between that, the feel of her ass beneath his hands, and the sight of her breathless on top of him, his brain short circuited and he came hard and fast, groaning as he emptied himself deep inside of her.

When he finished, Poppy rolled off him and laid down beside him, struggling to catch her breath. 

Tora turned his head to look at her. “Did ya come?”

“No,” she finally said. 

Well, he would fix that. 

He moved his hand to her wet opening, but stopped when she grabbed his wrist. “It’s fine, really.”

Hmmpf. The hell it was. 

“But-“ 

“Tora,” she rasped and settled her eyes firmly on his. “Whatever your plans are for Kane… _I want to help.”_


	20. Defense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY MPL UPDATE DAY, EVERYONE!!!
> 
> I didn't know if I'd manage to get an update out today or not, so I'm happy to be able to post this!
> 
> This particular chapter is dedicated to BegoniaRex; I hope it helps make today a little brighter for you <3
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone for reading and for always being here; I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Love you all and see you soon, 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“I want to believe  
No, I choose to believe  
That I was made to become  
A sanctuary

Fear won't go away  
But I can keep it at bay  
These invisible walls  
Just might keep us safe”  
-Sleeping at Last, “Six”

\---

“Whatever your plans are for Kane... _I want to help.”_

At first, Tora thought maybe he’d heard Poppy wrong, but when he turned his head and looked at her, she was staring at him, her eyes dark, hooded, piercing. Her mouth, usually adorned in a pretty smile, was set in a stern line.

This little woman was out of her goddamned mind. 

“The hell do ya mean, _ya wanna help?”_ he asked her. 

“Exactly what I said,” she told him and propped herself up on one elbow. “I don’t want to be left in the dark anymore. I don’t know if you’re trying to get him arrested or… something else. What I _do_ know is I want to be part of it. I want to be there and see the look on his face when he realizes he _lost.”_

Tora clenched his jaw and tilted his head to the ceiling. Poppy was hurting, he knew that. She was going through the same barrage of emotions he'd experienced when he lost Goliath. Grief had a way of making the most dangerous, frightening thoughts seem completely rational. As difficult as it had been, he was thankful he’d spent most of the mourning process behind bars; it kept him from doing anything stupid and was probably one of the only reasons he had the freedom to lay beside Poppy now. 

_”Absolutely not,”_ he bit out. 

He felt her tiny hand splay itself across his arm. _”Tora-“_

Tora wrapped her hand in his and shifted his head until he was looking directly into her eyes. “Poppylan, I know what yer goin’ through right now. Kane took somethin’ away from me, too. I wanted revenge, I wanted ta kill him and didn’t care who saw me do it.” 

Christ, that was the first time he’d ever admitted it out loud. Hearing the words in the open air made him realize that, after everything Kane had done to Goliath and now Poppy, he still felt that gnawing urge to kill him, to make him suffer and bleed. He just had a better grip on his rage now. 

Tora sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I had a year in prison ta stew on it and I realized that my rage wasn’t goin’ to help me any. It would only get me into deeper trouble. I coulda been reckless, gotten rid of him and lived out the rest of my days in a cell. But I figured out how ta control my anger and just _wait._ S’how I was even able to be around him that night at Quincey’s party.”

He rolled over then and cupped her face in his hands. “I know this is all fresh for ya. I hate that yer hurtin’, sweetheart, and I’m gonna make sure he pays for it. Ya gotta trust me on that.”

At this point, he still wasn’t certain _how_ he was going to do it. Kane was working his way up the ranks in the clan and was protected by people like Quincey, Martin and Claude. It would be difficult to corner him alone and get rid of him without anyone taking immediate notice or asking questions. More than likely, Quincey would be the first to point fingers at Tora. 

But he’d make it happen, one way or another. 

Anything for her. 

A tear slipped from Poppy’s eye as she nodded. 

“Ya also gotta trust me when I tell ya he ain’t worth throwin’ your life away over,” he continued. “I’m bein’ selfish when I say I don’t wanna be apart from ya, either, but it’s the truth. I love you _too damn much_ ta involve ya any more than I already have.”

Tora could see the wheels spinning behind her eyes as she considered his words. Finally, her features softened and she turned her head to kiss his palm. 

“Okay, Tora. I trust you and I won’t do anything stupid, I promise. I don’t want to be away from you either.”

Thank Christ. 

He smiled at her and pulled her in to kiss her forehead. 

“But, um…” she said, “what about self-defense?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Well, you can’t be with me all the time,” she explained. “It’s impossible. So what about when you’re not around? Could you show me how to use a gun for my protection or… something?”

Yeah fucking right. She was goddamn crazy if she thought he would ever put a lethal weapon into her pure, tiny hands. 

“Bobby,” he said, his voice stern. “I’m not givin’ ya a gun.”

“Okay, well, it doesn’t have to be a _gun,”_ she backpedaled. “I just want to have the choice to defend myself if necessary. I want to feel safe in my home again.”

“S’what I’m here for.”

Poppy narrowed her eyes at him. “You know what I mean.”

Tora sighed. God damnit, she wasn’t going to back down, was she? His little hamster was feisty and ready to bite at anyone who backed her into a corner. He understood her fear and he wasn’t about to tell her that what she was feeling was wrong. It wasn’t. She _should_ be afraid of Kane.

But she also deserved to feel safe again.

“Okay, Bobby. I see yer point. I want ya to feel safe, too. I’ll talk with Ronzo and see what we can find for ya.”

\---

Tora texted Gyu that night and asked if there were any non-lethal defensive tools that he could get on the black market right now. He told him it needed to be portable, something small that Poppy could always have on her person. 

Within minutes, his friend replied with a photo of a small, battery-operated black taser. 

_This is what I got for Lane’s daughter when she started cheer practice in the fall. It would already be dark when she left the building and I wanted her to be safe. What do you think?_ Gyu texted.

Leave it to Ronzo. If he thought it was good enough to protect a member of his family, then it was good enough to protect Poppy. 

_Sounds good. Would you put in an order for one for Poppy?_ Tora typed. 

_Sure thing, bro. I got my niece a pink one. Think Poppy would like that better?_

Tora smirked as he sent his reply. 

_Definitely._

\---

Two days later, after Tora picked her up from work and they finished eating dinner, he slid the small white box Gyu had passed to him that afternoon across the table to Poppy. 

She brushed her little hands off and picked it up. “What’s this?” she asked as she turned the box over in her fingers. 

“Somethin’ that’ll make ya feel safe.”

Poppy smiled. He watched as she popped open the box and reached inside; her smile grew wider as she pulled out the small, pink device. She passed it between her hands and then pointed it away from her. She hit the button and… nothing. 

Tora bit back a laugh. She’d done exactly what he thought she would, which was the reason he hadn’t loaded the batteries into it yet; they still sat heavy in his jean pocket. 

“Um, Tora…”

“Doesn’t have batteries in it yet,” he told her. “Wasn’t goin’ to give you the chance to hurt yerself before ya know how to properly use it.”

Poppy shot a scowl at him. 

“Don’t gimme that look, Bobby. Ya just pushed the button without even knowin’ anythin’ about it. Feisty lil’ woman,” he chuckled. 

She grimaced. “”Er- yeah. Sorry.”

“Nah. Don’t be. C’mon, let’s head up to the roof and I’ll show ya how it works.”

\---

Five minutes later, they were bundled up on the rooftop; the batteries were loaded into the taser and Tora was showing Poppy how to use it. 

“Okay, the charge is gonna pass between these two metal prongs at the top,” he said and pointed at them. “Ya hit the button and once it’s lit up and starts cracklin’ ya shove it into their skin and it’ll bring ‘em to their knees.”

Tora jammed his thumb down on the button and the taser crackled to life. He held his finger down for a moment longer and then released the button. The taser went dark, silent and he passed it to Poppy. 

“Wanna try?”

She eagerly took it from him and held it out in front of her. She hit the button and the taser lit up and once again made sharp, snapping noises. He chuckled as she jabbed it into the open space of the roof, imagining Kane was in front of her, no doubt. 

Tora would hate to be on her bad side. 

When she removed her finger from the button, he pointed to the bottom of the device. “Now, there’s a safety switch on the bottom there. That way ya don’t accidentally activate it while it’s sittin’ in ya purse or somethin’.”

Poppy hit the button again and her eyes gleamed as the taser lit up and began buzzing. After a moment, she lifted her finger from it and the device fell silent. 

Maybe… this wasn’t his best idea. 

“Now, ya gotta be careful with that, Bobby,” he chuckled. “Can bring a man big as me to the ground.”

Poppy lifted an eyebrow at him. “Oh, really?”

She took a step toward him and hit the button. 

_BZZZZT_

Yeah, he’d _definitely_ had better ideas.

Tora’s hands went out defensively in front of him. “Now, ya better not use that on me.”

Poppy glanced at the pink taser and then back at him. “Interesting,” she said.

She took another step toward him and he backed away. 

_BZZZT_

“Shit-! Stop it. I’m warnin’ ya, sweethe-“

_BZZZT_

“Jesus Christ, _would ya put that thing away?”_ he barked. 

She laughed. “I’ve just discovered that annoying you is… strangely satisfying.” Poppy clicked the safety on and then slid the taser into her coat pocket. “All right, all right, I’m done,” she said, holding her hands out to him in defeat. 

Hmmpf. Fucking adorable little psychopath. 

Tora charged across the roof at her and as she squealed, she turned to cut and run, but wasn’t quick enough. 

Not against a tiger, anyway. 

He caught her by the arm and pulled her into his chest, then wriggled his fingers into her side, her most ticklish spot. 

Tora tickled her until she laughed so hard that she started crying. “Oh my god, please stop!” she wheezed. “I’m sorry, I give up! Uncle, UNCLE!”

He finally stopped and wrapped his arms around her. “Ya feisty lil’ shit,” he teased and beamed down at her. Her eyes were crinkled and wet with tears, her cheeks were stained red from laughing and her hair was a frizzy cloud around her head. 

God damnit, she was the prettiest, bossiest, strongest, bravest, sexiest, smartest woman he’d ever met; though he tried to express it in every way he could, sometimes he thought she still didn’t know _exactly_ what she meant to him, how deeply she affected him.

“I never stood a chance against ya,” he told her. “You know that, right?”

“Well, being the one with the taser _does_ give you an advantage,” she smirked. 

“Pfft. Nah, I’m talkin’ bout the night we met. Ya turned around in that kitchen so damn _quick,_ ya accused me of drinkin’ Yahoo or whatever and I was done for. Knew I wanted ya, right then and there.”

“Oh, yeah?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Knew if by some miracle ya agreed to have me, I’d never leave ya side.”

Fuck, if he had a ring, he’d be on his goddamn knee right now, asking her to marry him. It was how much he meant it. 

Poppy pressed herself hard into his chest. “I’m sorry I left yours.”

He was sorry too, sorry he’d ever given her a reason to do it in the first place. 

“Don’t be,” he murmured. “Told ya I wouldn’t hold it against ya. Still don’t. You were standin’ up for yerself, just like that first night in Quincey’s kitchen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fuckin’ thrilled ta death yer in my arms again. But if I’m bein’ honest, I love ya even more for walkin’ away when you did.”

She blinked up at him then and he cupped her face in his hands. “Really?” she asked softly.

“Yeah. S’another one of those things I love most about you. Ya might not see it, but yer so fuckin’ brave. And strong. Even stronger’n me.”

And he meant it. It took strength to leave him after she’d learned what he was, but she proved she was even stronger than he realized when she made the decision to come _back._

“That so?” 

“Well, strong enough fer a tiny, lil’ hamster, anyway.”

She swatted at his arm and he laughed. “I love ya, shorty,” he said and dipped his head to kiss her. “And I promise you, I’m always gonna be there for you. _No matter what.”_

\---

That Friday was one of Tora’s rare days off and when he pulled up to Giant Goldfish to drop Poppy off, he’d kissed her until her face turned as red as the blouse she was wearing.

“Tora,” she rasped out when their mouths finally parted, “aren’t you afraid someone is going to see?”

“Don’t care ‘bout that anymore,” he murmured and leaned in for another kiss. “Kane already knows and I’m tired of hidin’ it. I love you and I don’t give a flyin’ _fuck_ who finds out.”

She smiled against his lips. “I love you too, but I really do have to go to work now,” she giggled. 

Tora pressed a kiss to her cheek and then trailed his mouth down her jawline, her neck. “Ya sure?” he whispered and nibbled lightly at her throat.

Poppy gasped and used her little hands to push him away. _”Yes,”_ she said and swatted at him playfully.

“Hmmpf, fine,” he said and leaned back in the driver’s seat of Quincey’s car. “I’ll pick you up at five and we’ll go see that girly movie ya picked out.”

Poppy smirked as she opened the car door and swung her feet out onto the pavement. “You never complained about my taste in movies before, Mr. Pride ‘n Petticoats.”

“That’s Mr. Darcy ta you,” he said and leaned over to pinch her bottom as she slid out of the car. 

She yelped in surprise and turned around, her face ripened red. “Oh my god, Tora!” 

He barked out a laugh as she puffed her cheeks out at him. “Love ya, sweetheart. Have a good day.”

“Love you too, you old perv,” she huffed at him and then slammed the car door shut.

\---

On the drive back to her apartment, Tora reflected on how damn good it felt to be able to give his girlfriend a kiss in public. For a moment, he almost wanted to _thank_ Kane; he _hated_ what he’d done to Poppy’s possessions, but in a strange way, he’d also granted them freedom. By letting them know that _he_ knew about their relationship, they could now be open about it with the world. No more hiding, no more long-distance dates in other towns. 

They could do whatever they wanted, wherever they wanted. 

Tonight, he’d finally pick up his red sports car out of the storage unit, then he’d take her to a restaurant in the city and to the local movie theater, where he didn’t care who saw them. 

When he arrived at Poppy’s place, he immediately found himself looking for something to do. He wandered through the living room and ran a finger over the spines of her tattered books. Maybe now would be a good time to start replacing the things she’d lost. 

Tora began a Google search for one of the book titles and quickly became overwhelmed; what the hell even _were_ some of these websites? Books for cheap, pre-owned books that looked like they’d been used for toilet paper, brand new books that were on back order. 

Fuck, he’d just give the list to Ronzo and he’d get them for him. 

Tora punched out a quick message of the books he needed. 

_Eleanor and Park, The Lovely Bones, The Wrath and the Dawn…_

His finger hovered over the send button before he remembered the most important one of all. 

_And could you get a copy of Pride and Prejudice? First edition if you can, don’t care what it costs._

It was too late in the season to replace her plants, but he would run her ass to every greenhouse in Narin once spring hit. 

What else could he do _now?_

He grabbed a piece of paper and pen from the kitchen counter and made a list. 

_Canvases, wood glue for easel, new paint and brushes, new art for her walls…_

He had another hoodie he could bring to her and he’d take her to one of those little craft shows she liked so she could buy new shit for her shelves. They might not be the same as what she had before, but maybe it would be close enough.

List in hand, Tora snatched the keys from where he’d tossed them on the coffee table and headed out the door.

\---

After Tora picked up his car, he went to a small craft store first and loaded up on art supplies: he wasn’t sure what size canvas she preferred to work on, so he grabbed a couple of every dimension they offered. He picked up a couple packs of paintbrushes and when it came to the paint, he didn’t know the goddamn difference between acrylic and watercolor, so he bought one of each set. 

He stopped by Alice’s to grab lunch and after she’d filled his belly and given him a good thump on the head, he made his way to the home improvement store. 

They didn’t have wood glue stocked at the craft store, so he wandered back to the adhesives aisle. Maybe he’d pick up some more soil for her on his way out; she would need some for the plants she’d saved by putting them in water.

Tora was scanning the labels when a cheerful voice broke the silence behind him. “Hey, you’re the guy with the ZZ plant, right?”

He turned and was met with the sight of the red-haired cashier from before. “Pfft. Ah, yeah. Jake, right?”

Jake beamed at him. “Yup! So how did everything go? How’s the plant? The pot?”

“Saved the plant and pot’s good as new,” Tora told him proudly. “Now I’m lookin’ for some wood glue to fix an easel…”

Jake chuckled. “Break a lot of things, do ya?”

Tora’s jaw clenched and he took a deep breath. “First one was on me, but I didn’t break the easel.”

Though he might as well have. 

“Oh. Um, well, okay. Our wood glue is there-“ Jake pointed “-and I recommend the Gorilla Glue brand. It has the best ratings.”

Tora grabbed a bottle and tossed it in the cart. “Anythin’ else that might help?”

“Ahh, maybe some C clamps? To help hold it together while it dries.”

Tora followed Jake to the hardware section of the store and grabbed a handful of the weird metal clamps. 

“Anything else I can help you find? Sure you don’t want a new pot?” Jake teased.

Pfft. Little shit. 

“I’m sure, kid. Happy with the one I got. But I do need some soil. Probably just standard to start.”

Jake smiled. “Follow me.”

\---

While Tora was standing at the register, he could feel the red-hot stare of the clerk on him. She scanned his items slowly and kept glancing up at him through her fake eyelashes. 

He rolled his eyes and then they settled on a weird, small spiky plant the clerk had sitting beside her computer.

“Hey, s’that your plant?” he asked, pointing behind her. 

“Yes, yes it is,” she smiled at him. 

“Would you mind setting it out here on the counter fer me?”

“Sure, handsome. Anything you want.”

She cupped the tiny plant in her hand and plunked it down in front of him. 

“Thanks,” Tora said and hovered his phone over it to snap a picture. “Had ta get a picture of this damn plant fer my girlfriend.”

The clerk huffed and said nothing else but his total amount.

While she counted out his change, he typed a message to Poppy and attached the photo.

_what’s this one?_

She answered almost immediately.

_It’s a succulent. Haworthia. Or sometimes it’s referred to as a zebra plant because of its stripes :)_

He chuckled as he typed out a response. 

_shit they have plants named after animals?_

_Yup!_

_good to know._

He’d be sure to ask Tyson about that. 

\---

It was 4:55 and Tora was stuck in fucking traffic. He’d gotten so distracted shopping for her in the city that time completely slipped away from him. 

Oh, well. The movie didn’t start until later and he was only a couple of blocks away. He’d just call her and-

Like magic, his phone began to ring and he brought it to his ear. “Tora.”

“Ah, hey, Big Bro,” Gyu said quietly. 

“S’goin’ on?”

“Well, I wanted to let you know… um, I’ve been tracking Kane’s car and getting updates every hour, like you told me to…”

Tora’s jaw clenched. “And?” he gruffed out.

“And, as of five minutes ago, he was parked outside of Giant Goldfish Publishing.”

Tora ended the call and drove like a madman down the street; he weaved in and out between several cars, blaring his horn the entire way. After a few near misses and middle fingers thrown in his direction, he finally spotted the sign of Poppy’s office.

_Red._

A flash of red that he immediately recognized as Poppy’s shirt. She was standing like an action figure on the sidewalk and her whole body was heaving. She was staring down at… something on the pavement. 

_Where the fuck was Kane?_

Tora unrolled the passenger side window as he screeched up to the asphalt. 

_”Oi, Poppy!”_ he yelled and she whipped around to look at him. 

When he felt his front tires bounce over the lip of the curb, he threw the car into park and climbed out.


	21. Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday, everyone! Sorry for the lack of updates the past couple of days; we've been busy working in the new house and enjoying the fall weather. Plus, I'm not gonna lie, it's taken me a little bit of mental preparation for this next part of the story. Things start moving quickly, there's a lot of feelings and anger involved and it exhausts me just thinking about it, but I am Here. For. It. lol
> 
> This particular chapter is dedicated to my best friend Gaby, who recommended the Citizen Cope song. She's also possibly, maybe, potentially (but definitely) working on some MPL/Stages related art for me AND now she's reading the comic! She binged practically the entire thing in less than a day lol. All I'm saying is if you don't have a best friend like Gaby, GET YOU ONE. 
> 
> I hope you all have a great week and that you enjoy this latest chapter :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading and always being there <3
> 
> Love you all and see you soon, 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Where you been hidin'?  
I'm believing  
You give me life  
Life, my dear  
You give me strength to beat the odds  
And overcome my fears  
You make me feel like I belong under the sun  
You never grow old  
Because you're forever young

If there's love  
I just want to have somethin' to do with it  
I just want to feel yours”  
-Citizen Cope, “If There’s Love”

\---

As Tora ran up to Poppy, who was wielding her pink taser and hovering over Kane’s writhing body on the sidewalk, there were only two thoughts that crossed his mind:

_Did he hurt her?_

and 

_My girlfriend is a little fucking badass._

Tora gently pulled the taser from her hand and flicked the safety switch on. He stuffed it into his coat pocket, looked down at Kane and then to Poppy. 

“Fuckin’ _Christ,”_ he hissed and framed her face in his large hands. “Ya okay? Did he hurt ya?”

With every word, Tora could feel rage tingling in his spine, threatening to prickle out into his limbs, his brain. This motherfucking asshole had to have done _something_ to Poppy for her to whip out the taser. 

Her chest heaved and her cheeks puffed out with air as she tried to catch her breath. “N-no,” she sputtered. “But he c-came upstairs. Erdene and Jacob were there. I had to g-get him out. He grabbed my arm and tried to make me get into his c-car.”

_RED._

_RED._

_RED._  
_RED._  
_RED._  
_RED._

Tora could feel his jaw clenching and his temple throbbing against his next words. _”He put his hands on ya?”_

Poppy’s eyes widened as she nodded. 

_Get her out of here. You don’t want her around for what you’re about to do to him,_ an old familiar voice spat from some corner of his mind. 

What the fuck was he about to do to Kane?

He didn’t know, but he didn’t want Poppy standing so close when he was feeling this out of control. 

“Get in the car,” he told her.

“But… what are you-“

“Poppylan, _get in the car.”_

Once Poppy had shut herself inside the vehicle, Tora squatted on the pavement and focused his gaze on the man sprawled out before him. Kane’s eyes were screwed shut in pain, his mouth was twisted up around his guttural moans and his veins were stretched out over the throbbing pulse in his neck. 

_Poor guy is in pain. Don’t you think you should put him out of his misery?_ the voice whispered. 

How did he want to do it? He could haul Kane into his black car, drive him out to the banks of Narin River, slit his throat with the little silver blade Kane liked so much and then roll his car into the water. Or he could burn Kane’s body and Ronzo-

Suddenly a soft voice spoke out from beside Tora.

“Um, excuse me, sir, but is he all right?”

He glanced up at a middle-aged man and woman who were looking down at Kane with deep concern etched in their faces.

_Witnesses._

There were civilians here, people watching. 

_Poppylan_ was watching. 

Tora flickered his eyes closed and attempted to quiet the vengeful voice, to dissipate the storm of violent thoughts rumbling through his brain. 

_My desires are on their way to me._

Deep inhale, long exhale.

_My desires are on their way to me._

He would take care of Kane. Somehow, some way. Just not today. Not like this.

_My desires are on their way-_

“Sir?”

Tora opened his eyes and stood to his full height beside the couple. “He’s fine. S’my friend and he just had a little too much to drink. You can keep movin’,” he told them in a low voice and then dismissed them with a wave of his hand.

Both sets of eyes crinkled with worry as they looked from Tora, back down to Kane and then to Tora again. “But-“ the man began.

Tora dropped all emotion from his face as he lowered his head and hooded his eyes at them; it was a look he’d had several years to practice and perfect, a look that served as a final warning. It halted even the most persistent assholes and had on occasion even brought Vincent Balthuman to speechlessness. 

It had yet to lose its effectiveness, it seemed, as the couple’s eyes widened. They continued to jostle down the sidewalk and once they were out of sight, Tora gripped Kane under his arms and hauled him to his feet. 

Kane staggered backward a bit and Tora grasped his shoulders to steady him. “Ya okay there, Kane? Can ya stand?”

Kane didn’t respond, all his focus seemingly on trying to feel the ground beneath his feet. 

Tora allowed him another moment to find his footing. “Kane, can ya hear me?”

Kane’s head lolled up to look at him and at last he nodded. “Yeah, I can hear ya.”

“Good,” Tora said and then clapped one of his giant hands around Kane’s face and yanked it roughly towards his. “’Cuz I’m only gonna tell ya this one time.”

He stared down hard into Kane’s dark eyes. “Might not feel like it right now, but yer one lucky motherfucker. If I’d seen ya touch Poppylan, Winston and his boys would be scrapin’ what was left of ya off this sidewalk.” 

Tora leaned in close to whisper in the smaller man’s ear. “You ever put so much as a _finger_ on my girlfriend again, it’ll be the last thing ya live ta do. Got it?”

Kane nodded in Tora’s grasp, his breathing uneven and escaping his scrunched mouth in little puffs. 

_”Good._ Now get the _fuck_ out,” Tora hissed. He dropped his hand from his face and shoved Kane away from him.

Kane stumbled down the sidewalk before he finally reached his car. Tora watched him fall into the driver’s seat and then pull away from the curb. Once he saw him turn the corner of the next block, Tora rounded the front of his own car and threw himself inside. 

Immediately he faced Poppy and his hands returned to her face. 

“Ya sure yer okay?” he asked her, his voice firm. 

She settled one of her tiny hands over the top of his. “Yeah, I’m fine. Um… so, some good news: the taser works.”

Christ, leave it to her to break the tension by making him laugh. 

“Damn right it does,” he chuckled at her. “Just glad I didn’t give ya a gun.”

“So…” she said slowly as she dropped her hand from his, “you aren’t mad?”

_Huh?_

Tora’s eyebrows settled in a straight line. “At you?”

“Well, yeah. I told you I wouldn’t do anything stupid and and I _tased_ him on a _public street…”_

Kane had literally just attempted to abduct her and she was worried that _he_ was upset with _her?_

Tora angled her face in his hands so she was forced to look at him. “Poppylan, I’m fuckin’ _proud_ of you. I gave ya that taser to protect yerself with and that’s what you did. He put his hands on ya and tried ta force you into his car. That’s the legal definition of self-defense, sweetheart. Ya did everythin’ right.”

His eyes softened as he stroked his thumb across her cheek. “I’m just sorry I wasn’t here a few minutes sooner. Coulda prevented ya from havin’ ta do somethin’ like that in the first place. Stupid fuckin’ traffic.”

And he was stupid for letting time slip away from him while he was shopping, but he didn’t want to tell her that. He wanted to surprise her at home with everything he’d bought for her.

“But… what if he calls the police?” she asked. 

“Kane ain’t gonna draw attention to himself by involving the cops. Trust me.” He’d only ever been in willing contact with the police once and it was to leave an anonymous tip about the drug deal that he and Goliath had been part of.

“What if he tells Quincey?”

“Pfft. He ain’t about to try to explain ta Quince why he was in a position to be put down by a woman in the first place. Thinks it makes him look weak and that’s the last thing he ever wants. I promise ya, everythin’s gonna be okay.”

Poppy took a deep breath and slowly released it. “Okay. I trust you.”

Tora smiled at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Good.”

He settled back into his seat then and closed his eyes as he let out a sigh of relief. She was okay. She was _safe,_ sitting here inside the car with him. 

“Tora?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“What did you say to Kane?”

He opened one yellow eye and smirked at her. “Dunno what ya mean. Just helped him to his feet and made sure he was good ta drive.”

_”Tora.”_

He blinked at her once. “Told him he was lucky I didn’t see him touch ya and if he _ever_ put a hand on my girlfriend again, it’d be the last thing he lived ta do,” he told her, conveniently leaving out the part about having Winston coming to clean up his body. 

Poppy said nothing, just continued to stare at him with a totally unreadable look in her eyes. 

Shit. He’d been determined to be as forthright and honest with her as he possibly could, but maybe that would come back to bite him in the ass? Maybe one day he would finally say the words or perform the act that would push her over the edge and she’d want to leave him again. He couldn’t blame her; this wasn’t a life for anyone. 

Tora sighed internally. Leave it to the life he led to mess up their date. After such an overwhelming afternoon, she’d probably be better off at home with him, ordering food in and watching a movie on Netflix. He’d give her all the gifts he’d gotten for her and hopefully that would cheer her up. They could have just as much fun with a quiet evening in.

Tora finally started the car and shifted it into drive. “All right, Bobby, I’m gonna get ya home.”

“But… what about our date?” she spoke up.

Tora glanced at her over his shoulder. “Really? Ya still wanna go, after all that excitement?”

Poppy nodded quickly. “Yes. I want to go out for dinner and a movie with my boyfriend.”

 _Badass._

His girlfriend was a tiny fucking badass. 

He smiled brightly at her. “Whatever ya want, sweetheart.”

\---

Tora took Poppy to her favorite sushi restaurant in Narin City, just a few blocks down from her office. They kept the conversation steered clear of anything related to the clan, instead chatting about their days, a new book Poppy bought on her lunch break and they hammered out the details of the beach trip they were taking that summer. 

They smiled, _laughed,_ he teased her until she blushed and towards the end of the meal, he reached out across the table and held her hand in his. 

It felt _normal,_ how he wished it could always be between them. 

The bubble burst, however, as they climbed into his car to head to the cinema. He’d leaned across the center console to give her a kiss when his phone buzzed in his pocket. 

_Gyu, 1 New Message_

_Just got off the phone with my sister. She wants to set up a meeting with you._

Shit. This was the last thing he wanted to think about right now, but he knew the sooner they jumped on this, the better. 

He punched out a quick reply before pulling away from the curb. 

_Should I bring my lawyer?_

Tora continued to text off and on with Gyu as he and Poppy stood in the ticket line at the theater. When he replaced his phone in his pocket, he reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly. 

At Gyu’s mention of the flash drive and Inspector Lane, Tora could feel the return of paranoia pricking at his nerve endings. He felt himself slipping into bodyguard mode as he angled his body to face the exit doors and slid his eyes over the crowd of patrons before him. 

He couldn’t believe he’d allowed himself to let down his guard, to _relax_ for so long, especially while out in the city with her. What was he thinking? There was nothing normal about being in a relationship with him. It would always come back down to clan matters and who might be watching him. 

Tora paid for their snacks and drinks and then followed closely behind her into the theater. When they settled themselves at the back, Tora slumped down in his seat and sent a response to Gyu’s latest text. 

“Everything okay?” she asked quietly from beside him. 

He turned his head and offered her a small smile. “S’fine. Just textin’ Ronzo.”

Poppy perked up a bit. “Oh? Are there other videos we can use on that flash-“

Tora reached out and gently slid his palm over her mouth. “Don’t worry ‘bout that right now, sweetheart. Just enjoy yerself.”

It was the first date she’d planned for them since the night they broke up and he’d be _damned_ if he was going to let anything ruin it. 

She pulled his hand away from her face and frowned at him as the lights dimmed and the screen flashed to life with previews.

Tora watched the first handful of minutes of the movie but kept finding himself distracted by the tiny woman sitting next to him. Poppy was perched at the edge of her seat, eyes wide, sipping her drink and giggling around the rim of her straw. 

He smiled and shifted in his seat until he was leaned against the armrest and facing her. _She_ was more interesting than whatever was happening on that giant screen. He could watch her smile and laugh all day.

Tora hoped she never stopped. 

It felt good to know that her encounter with Kane today hadn’t further unnerved or upset her; if anything, it seemed that it gave her a new sense of confidence, empowerment, of being. Once again, she’d proven she was so much stronger than he’d thought and he mentally berated himself for not giving her more credit. 

Sunday, he’d been so reluctant to be rough with her; he’d thought she was too emotionally fragile at the time to know what she was asking. He was a brute and he could _hurt_ her. But seeing her today, posed above Kane, taser in hand, he realized she was the bravest, most resilient person he’d ever met. 

She could handle it and if she still wanted him to _fuck_ her, he wouldn’t hold back.

Several more minutes passed before Poppy glanced over at him. She leaned forward and beckoned to him with one finger. He brought his face close to hers. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” she whispered. 

“Just like seein’ ya happy,” he whispered back, his voice thick with lust as he imagined bending her over the seat in front of him. 

Christ, could he even make it through one movie without _wanting_ her?

For a moment, Poppy said nothing as she stared into his eyes intently. Then, before Tora could take a breath, she crushed her mouth to his. 

_Shit._

A deep sigh rumbled out of him as he grasped the back of her head to hold her to him. He nipped at her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to him eagerly. Tora pushed his tongue inside and it wrangled with Poppy’s, tasting every sweet inch of her. 

As his mouth moved over hers with a punishing intensity, his hand roamed across her breast and cupped at her through her blouse. Tora found her nipple through the fabric and rolled it between two of his fingers. A long moan escaped her mouth and he smiled against her lips. 

“Bobby,” he huffed, “if ya keep moanin’ like that, we’re gonna get kicked outta here.”

“Well, if _you_ keep touching me like that,” she rasped, “we’re gonna need to go somewhere I don’t have to be quiet.”

His eyebrows shot up to his forehead. Fuck, he had no plans of stopping.

“Wanna head home?”

She nodded and took his hand so he could lead her down the darkened stairs.

\---

No sooner had they stepped foot inside her apartment, Poppy _lunged_ at Tora. 

They attacked each other’s mouths with bruising kisses, tongues, teeth. In a fevered rush, she unbuttoned his jeans and pushed him back onto the couch, where she sucked his cock into the wet heat of her mouth. 

This time she was not so hesitant or gentle; she pumped furiously at his length against her mouth and then let him take the lead when he gripped the back of her head to push her down on him. 

She’d almost blown him to completion before he pushed her away and told her to get on all fours on the floor in front of him. She was so wet that he slid into her from behind with no effort. As he began to build a rhythm inside of her, he spanked her lightly on the ass. Poppy bucked her hips back into him and _moaned_ before whimpering, “Do that again.”

He let out a low chuckle and then did what she said. He would never hold back, never underestimate her again. 

Anything she wanted, it was hers.

Tora pounded into her, fingertips digging into her ass, until she was screaming and begging for release. He used his thumb to roll circles over her clit and then she clenched and trembled as she came apart around him. 

Once she finished, Tora firmly planted his hands on her hips and slammed into her until the room fell away from him and he was emptying himself inside of her. 

Afterwards, they lay beside each other on the floor and when their breaths returned to them, he hugged Poppy tightly into his bare chest. 

Now that they were home from their date and relaxed, satisfied, he thought it would be a good time to tell her about the meeting with Lane. Now there was no nice dinner to interrupt or a movie to ruin. It was safe here, a place where he could be open and real.

A place he never felt the need to hide. 

“Ronzo wants me ta meet with his sister, Lane,” he told her. “She’s an inspector in the city.”

“Does she want to talk to you about the flash drive?” Poppy asked.

Tora nodded. “She spoke with an attorney and they think I have somethin’ against Vincent. They wanna go over my options.”

“Like… working with them to build a case?”

“Yeah.”

Tora heard Poppy swallow hard. “But Vincent, um… would that be safe for you? I mean, he-“

“None of this is technically safe, Bobby. But it might be my only shot. And as fer Vincent, he has friends in high places, but if I could find proof of his associations with them, I could bring ‘em all down.”

Tora would do whatever it took to give her a normal life free of worry, free of the clan. He’d never wanted out as badly as he did until he met her.

“You think the notebook is still out there?” she asked him. 

“I mean, Goliath said he had proof of illegal clan dealings and look what we found. If he said there’s video proof of politicians meetin’ with Vincent and the others, it’s gotta be out there somewhere. I _have_ ta believe that.”

Poppy nodded slowly. “And if you help Lane with this… what would you get in return?”

He shrugged. “Immunity? Fer assistin’ the police? I dunno. S’what I gotta talk ta Lane and her attorney friend about.”

There were a few beats of silence and then Poppy asked, “Do you want me to go with you?”

Shit, it wasn’t that he didn’t _want_ her there. He always wanted her around. He just didn’t want her wrapped up in this part of it. If word got out that the Tiger of Ares Street was cooperating with Inspector Lane, things could get ugly and he wasn’t going to let Poppy become a target for clan retaliation. 

“No, sweetheart,” he said and kissed the top of her head. “It’s enough that Kane knows ‘bout us. I don’t want ya involved in any more of the dangerous parts of my life.”

She shifted in his arms to look at him. “But-“

“In fact, since Kane’s gotten braver, I don’t wanna take any chances with ya. I’m installin’ those grilles on ya door tomorrow and I’m gonna assign one of my men to ya. If I’m not free to take ya somewhere, Quincey’s, goin’ to get groceries, whatever, you’ll be goin’ with him.”

He’d assign Tyson to her security detail; he was loyal, trustworthy and being a plant lover, he and Poppy would probably get along great. 

Poppy struggled in his arms and tried to push herself away from him. “Tora, I can take care of myself,” she huffed. “I think I proved that today.”

Tora worked around her squirming and clutched her to him more tightly. “Pfft. Ya don’t gotta remind me how feisty ya are, woman,” he chuckled. He could still picture her on the rooftop, advancing on him with the crackling taser. “Almost felt bad for the bastard today. But you had time to think about that. Ya said he came up into your office? Where there were other people?”

She nodded. 

“He gave ya a chance to react. Maybe feelin’ ya out, seein’ what you would do. He won’t be so generous next time, which is why I want an extra set of eyes on ya.”

Poppy settled into his chest after a moment and sighed. “Okay, Tora. I trust you.”

\---

By the same time the next week, Tora did everything he’d told Poppy he was going to.

Easily enough, between bringing his dimples and a plate of Poppy’s freshly baked cookies to Mrs. Haru, Tora was able to convince the landlord to let him make upgrades to his girlfriend’s apartment doors. He’d even set aside some time to hang a couple of picture frames and canvases in Mrs. Haru’s own unit.

Tora had also officially assigned Tyson as Poppy’s bodyguard and commissioned him to find a special plant for her. 

“Did ya know there are plants named after _animals?”_ Tora had asked him on the phone. 

Tyson laughed at him. “Yeah, bro. There’s quite a few. Goldfish plant, rabbit foot fern, bird of paradise…”

“All right, Mr. Plant Expert, I get it,” Tora sighed and briefly wondered if Tyson was related to Jake, the home improvement store associate. They were both a couple of smart asses.

“What about… ones named after tigers?” Tora asked. 

“Ahh, you wantin’ a tiger plant for yer little lady?”

“Yeah, ya know of any? I fuckin’ hate Google and I figured ya’d be a better help.”

Tyson chuckled again and Tora could practically see the crinkle lines lifting around his eyes. “You came to the right guy. I’ll see what I can find for ya.”

\---

The following Saturday, at Poppy’s next meeting with Quincey, Tora plopped himself down right beside his girlfriend on the couch. He threw one arm over the cushion behind her and then fired up a cigarette. 

Since their encounter with Kane outside of Giant Goldfish, they had been silently celebrating their new freedom in the form of holding hands when they walked down public streets, kisses in the middle of grocery store aisles and now, cuddling up next to her on Quincey’s sofa. 

What had always felt so dangerous and wrong suddenly seemed like the most natural thing in the world and Tora couldn’t get enough of it. 

He glanced down at Poppy and noticed a blush rising to her cheeks. Quincey blinked at them several times and then finally a wide smile stretched across his face. 

“Oh. My. God. Did you two… are you _together?!”_ he shrieked and gestured wildly at them. 

Tora rolled his eyes at Quincey but didn’t correct him. 

“Ahhh! I _knew_ she was your type!” Quincey screeched as he pranced over to them. He flopped himself down over their laps and stretched out on his back. “Frankly, Poppy, honey, you could do better,” he told her as he twirled a long piece of her hair around his finger. “But you are _exactly_ who I would have chosen for this big brute. Ugh, I’m so happy for you!”

Tora shoved at Quincey’s waist, but he couldn’t stop himself from smirking. It was nice, almost feeling like brothers again. 

“God damnit, Quince, get off me. Yer not even wearin’ pants,” he told the younger blonde man and Poppy giggled. 

Quincey balled his hand into a fist and smacked it against his palm. “Pants… of course! That explains the writer’s block! I’ll be right back.” Quincey pushed himself from the sofa and made it halfway down the hall before the front door intercom buzzed. He turned and looked at Tora. “Oh, honey, that’s Kane. Can you let him in?”

Oh, he’d fucking _love_ to.

 _”Sure,”_ Tora ground out. 

“Thanks, you’re a doll!” Quincey chirped before sauntering down the hall to his bedroom. 

Tora met Poppy’s wide eyes before he silently crossed the room and hit the button for the main door. A moment later, there was a knock and Tora flung the door open. He stepped aside to allow Kane in, who took one look at him, one look at Poppy and smirked. 

“Hey, guys. What’s up?”

 _Show him,_ the voice hissed. _Show him what’s up._

_RED._  
_RED._  
_RED._

Tora slammed the door shut behind him and clapped one hand around Kane’s shoulder. _”You-“_

He was cut off by Quincey meandering into the living room, buttoning his pants. “Hi, honey!” he greeted Kane. Then he looked at Tora. “Um, what are you guys doing?”

_Quincey. Poppylan._

_Witnesses._

Kane opened his mouth to say something, but Tora beat him to it. “Oh, I was just tellin’ Kane here that he should take some time off. He’s lookin’ a lil’… _zapped.”_

Tora met Poppy’s eyes then and she clapped a hand over her mouth. 

“I agree one hundred percent,” Quincey said. “I always tell Kane he’s working too hard. One of these days, he’s going to run himself right into the ground.”

Well, that was the fucking plan. 

Quincey settled himself beside Poppy on the couch and propped his journal open on his lap. “So it seems like you two are getting along. Are you finally over your little feud?”

“Oh, we’re workin’ on it,” Tora smiled and squeezed Kane’s shoulder before releasing him. “Before ya know it, one day soon, _it’ll be dead and buried.”_


	22. Taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm convinced this update is the reason for my tension headache right now LOL
> 
> Real quick! I wanted to bring something up just in case it's triggering to anyone. Tora is texting while he's driving in this chapter and I felt uncomfortable even writing it. While it felt like something he would do in the midst of raging emotions and trying to navigate this time sensitive mission, I DO NOT condone it. Texting while driving is extremely dangerous and against the law (at least, it is where I live.) Please don't do it, peeps! :)
> 
> Anyway, we're getting deep into the shit of things now and I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and always being here <3
> 
> Love you all and see you soon, 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“The colors have built up in my mind  
They're bleeding through my heart  
But nobody knows that they exist  
Look at my bursting veins  
Now do you see the red in me?  
It's a sign for the end”  
-Rooney, “Blueside”

\---

When Tora pulled up outside of Poppy’s apartment, he was wearing a smile that stretched from ear to ear. 

As he shifted the car into park, he glanced over at the potted orchid he’d buckled up in the passenger seat. This was it, _this_ was the plant that would stump her. It just _had_ to be. 

Tyson had told him how rare the tiger orchid was and once he’d located a seller, Tora paid a pretty penny for cuttings of the plant already in bloom. It was shipped express from Indonesia and when it arrived late that morning, Tyson immediately sent him a text. 

_The tiger is in the house. You gotta come get this thing before I keep it for myself._

Tora snatched up his keys from the coffee table, told Poppy he had an errand to run and kissed her goodbye at the door before she could question him. 

Tyson lived on the outskirts of Narin City; he had a plot of land just large enough for his one-story home and a glass greenhouse in the backyard. When he got there, Tyson gave him general care instructions and random facts about the plant (“It can grow up to 25 feet tall, big bro. Fucking _Christ.”_ ) 

As Tyson prepared to pot the plant for him, Tora told him to keep some cuttings for himself; there were more than enough to fill two pots. The older man was so damn thrilled that he walked over to Tora and gave him a one-armed hug, dirty gardening gloves and all. 

If Poppy was even _half_ as happy as Tyson, Tora would be satisfied. 

On the way back to her apartment, he passed a bakery in the city and turned around to pick up a muffin for her. There were a couple of times she tried to deny it, but she was _always_ in the mood for something sweet and he liked being able to surprise her with treats. 

After he unloaded his fragile passenger and tucked the muffin in his hoodie pocket, he typed out a text to Poppy. 

_i’m back. wanna open your gate for a thug?_

\---

Before unlocking Poppy’s apartment door, Tora set the potted plant down in the hallway. He wanted to give her the muffin first and then catch her off guard with the orchid. 

As he walked in, he kept one hand on the baked good in his hoodie pocket. He crossed the room to her and as he leaned down to give her a kiss, he noticed her nose was bright green. 

Pfft. What the hell? 

He glanced behind her and saw a blank canvas propped up on the repaired easel, then spotted a paintbrush in her hand. He chuckled at her. 

“What’s so funny?” she asked, scrunching her little green nose at him. 

“Thought paint was s’posed ta go on the _canvas,_ Bobby.”

“Huh?”

With his free hand, he swept his thumb across her nose and showed her the streak of color that now covered his fingertip. 

“Aw, fudge biscuit!” she cried and scrubbed at her nose furiously. 

Christ, why was she so fucking cute?

After she’d gotten most of the paint off, Tora couldn’t wait anymore; he pulled her hand away from her face and shoved the muffin into her mouth. 

“Caramel chocolate muffin,” he told her and watched as her eyes widened with surprise, then softened as she chewed thoughtfully on the treat. 

“Whoa… this is really good!”

“Ya like it?”

“Mmmhmm!”

He smiled at her. “Not a fudge biscuit, but close enough.”

Poppy smirked up at him as she polished off the rest of her muffin. “Where did you get this, anyway?”

“Somewhere in town. Picked it up for ya while I was out runnin’ errands. Got somethin’ else for ya, too.”

“Oh, really?”

“Mmmhmm, s’out in the hall. Lemme go grab it.”

As Tora stooped down to pick up the orchid, he noticed his hands were shaking. What the hell from? Nervousness? Anticipation? It was just a fucking flower and she was going to like it, so what was his problem?

He held it behind his back as he crossed the room to stand in front of her. Tora stood there quietly for several heartbeats and willed his hands to steady themselves. Christ, it was a _plant,_ not a ring. How the hell was he going to propose to her if he couldn’t even handle giving her a simple orchid?

Poppy stared at him expectantly. “Okay, the suspense is killing me,” she giggled. “What is it?”

At the sound of her warm laughter, Tora could feel his body begin to relax in degrees. He flashed her a large smile as he held the orchid out to her. 

“What’s this one?” he asked.

Tora watched as she peered closely at the plant; she said nothing as she studied it and the longer she looked, the more her eyebrows furrowed together.

After a moment of speechlessness, she blinked up at him. “I- I don’t know.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he smiled so hard. “Ya sayin’ I finally did it? I stumped ya?”

Poppy giggled again and threw her hands up in defeat. “Yes. I give up. You win. What is it?”

_He won._

Fuck, he loved surprising her. 

“S’called a tiger orchid,” he said. “Tyson helped me find one for ya.”

“Tiger, huh?” she asked as she fingered one of its large green leaves. “What makes you think I can handle two tigers in my house?”

Tora laughed. “This one’s just a cub right now, Bobby. Tyson said it can grow up ta 25 feet tall. Guinness Book of World Records says it’s the world’s tallest orchid.”

Yeah, he’d Googled _that_ shit himself. 

“Well, if it gets to be that tall, I’m going to need your help taking care of it, Mr. Six Foot Three,” she laughed and stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. “Thank you for always thinking of me. I love it. I love you.”

“I love ya too, Poppy.”

He lowered his head to kiss her again and as he did, she let out a gasp and gently pulled away from him. Poppy picked up her abandoned paintbrush and pointed at the end table beside the couch. 

“Will you set the tiger cub there, please?” she asked. 

“Sure, Bobby. Ya gonna paint for awhile?”

“Yeah, I finally figured out what I want to put on this canvas.”

Did… did she like the plant so much that she was going to _paint_ it? 

It was the best reaction he could have hoped for. 

And it was perfect timing; Gyu had just clocked back in from his lunch. He’d taken his hour off in the security booth that day, but Tora didn’t want to bother him with work shit while he was on break. He did enough for him already and deserved a little time to himself. 

“’Kay. I’m gonna head downstairs; Ronzo’s back from his lunch and I gotta talk ta him about settin’ up that meeting with Lane.”

Tora waited a beat for the words he knew were going to come out of her mouth. 

“Okay,” she said and looked over her shoulder at him. “I know what you’re going to say, but _please_ let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

He smirked at her. He knew it made her feel better to say it, but his answer regarding this was never going to change.

“You’ve helped me enough, kid. Gotta do this one on my own.”

Poppy sighed heavily at him. “I know.”

“I’ll see ya in a bit, sweetheart. Have fun.”

\---

_Physical duress._

_Human trafficking._

_Immunity from prosecution._

In the midst of Lane’s rambling, these were the only three phrases that sounded halfway familiar to Tora. Christ, did overexplaining shit run in hers and Gyu’s family or something? Since he’d stepped foot in her office, more than once he’d felt the urge to fall asleep in his chair or snap a picture of the giant aloe plant in the corner for Poppy. He didn’t need to be educated on all the bullshit legal details; all he needed to know was that this wasn’t going to be a waste of his time.

He didn’t give a flying _fuck_ what they charged Vincent with, so long as he went to prison and they could guarantee Poppy’s safety during the trial. 

“Look, you’ve seen the video, haven’t ya?” Tora cut her off mid-sentence.

Lane looked to her attorney friend Celeste, who was seated next to her behind the desk, recording meeting minutes. Celeste was a thin, stoic woman who Tora respected right away; she didn’t stare. Then Lane rested her attention on Tora once again. 

“Unofficially, yes. We’ve both seen it. Gyu sent it to my personal email,” Lane replied. 

“Okay. So, in plain English, do ya think it’s enough to put Vincent in prison?”

Lane sighed. “Best case scenario is yes; he would serve time. There is no question of the man’s identity in that video and no jury member in their right mind could claim to be blind to that.”

“My concern is who Vincent has in his pocket,” she continued. “Everyone in Narin City is aware of just how far his reach goes, even his son, Quincey’s. You should know; you’ve been on the receiving end of their ‘help’ in the past. Just a little over a year ago, wasn’t it?”

Tora narrowed his eyes at her. Christ, she was fucking bitter. Was she _ever_ going to let that go? 

“Ya know, for someone who’s seen that video, yer actin’ like you still think I wanted this life fer myself. I didn’t _ask_ for any of this,” he hissed at her. “So if yer wantin’ to dwell on shit you can’t change instead of helpin’ me, yer brother and Poppy _now,_ then I’m wastin’ my time here.”

He stood to leave; he’d reached the door when the voices of both women stopped him. 

“Tora, wait,” Lane called out from behind him just as Celeste asked, “Poppy? Who’s Poppy?”

Tora slowly turned and crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at them. 

_They didn’t know?_

“I’m sorry,” Lane told him and she met his eyes when she said it. “You’re right. It’s just that… Christ, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost _had_ him, only for money to speak louder than the evidence that was right in front of everyone. I want to help you, I do. I want to help Gyu. So please,” she gestured to his chair, “have a seat.”

“And Poppy,” he said firmly. 

“At this point, I’ll help your damn pet goldfish, Tora,” Lane replied. “Just… sit.”

Finally, Tora did. As he settled into the chair, his eyes flickered over to Celeste. “Poppy’s my girlfriend,” he told her and then turned to Lane. “She’s a civilian and now she’s wrapped up in this shit ‘cuz of me.”

“Oh,” Lane replied. “Gyu didn’t mention her.”

Hmmpf. Leave it to Ronzo, allowing Tora to be the one to involve Poppy and decide how much he wanted Lane and Celeste to know about her.

He really was a good friend. 

“Poppy’s the only reason I’m sittin’ here right now,” he told Lane, “which brings me ta my main concern. If we officially turn this flash drive over to ya and Vincent goes to trial, can you guarantee her safety?”

“Tora, you know as well as I do that there’s no true guarantees against clan retaliation-“

He stood again to leave and Lane threw her hands up in the air. “Damn it, would you just sit your ass down and let me finish?”

Tora slowly lowered himself into the chair and waited for her to continue. 

“While there’s no guarantees against clan retaliation, I can enter the three of you into a temporary witness protection program.”

“And what would that look like for us?” he asked. 

“Well, they would relocate you to a residence with high security. They would equip you with chauffeurs and bodyguards and if it came down to it, I’d assign some of my own men to you for the duration of the trial.”

Tora let out a deep breath. This was already sounding better. 

“But Tora,” she said, her voice suddenly low, “if you truly want to live a normal, _safe_ life with Poppy, you know it doesn’t just stop at Vincent.”

“Yeah. I know,” he said. “Gyu tell ya ‘bout Goliath’s notebook?”

Lane nodded. “He did. He also said you couldn’t find it.”

Tora shook his head.

“Now, I’m not saying this to be a smartass, but there’s nothing I can do with a notebook that’s not sitting in my hands,” she said, looking at him pointedly. 

“Unofficially, I would urge you to do whatever you can to find it. If it _really_ has the names in it that Goliath claimed it does, it could mean the end of Vincent, of Clan Balthuman and the end of every public official who’s tied to it.”

_Do whatever you can to find it._

Pfft. As if he could just pick up the phone, call his dead brother and ask him where it was.

“I dunno what else ta do,” he admitted. “We tore his place apart and there was no sign of it. We got lucky enough with the fl-“

“Tora, if Poppy means as much to you as you say, then you’ll find it,” she said. Her eyes glassed over with tears then and she blinked them away. “My brother means just as much to me.”

_Fuck._

“Okay,” he said as he leaned forward in his chair and stared straight into her eyes. _”I’ll find it.”_

\---

Tora left Lane’s office in an emotional limbo; there was even more pressure on him now to find that damn notebook, but at the same time, he hadn’t felt this light or _positive_ about his situation in weeks. There were finally people _listening_ to him, people willing to help. 

Christ, had that… _ever_ happened before?

Tora knew Lane had her own selfish reasons for getting involved, but he didn’t care. He’d take all the help he could get. 

Not only did she want to free her brother from the clan, but everyone knew she’d been trying for years to take down the Balthumans and their political comrades. Lane was a common topic discussed at clan meetings; she was considered more of a running joke than a threat. Over the years, Vincent and Martin shared humor and laughter at her futile attempts to bring them to justice. 

They had no idea they truly had a reason to _fear_ her now, which would work to her advantage and to Tora’s. 

They would never see them coming. 

As Tora lowered himself into his beater car, he thought about what it meant if they were actually able to pull this off. What would that look like?

Freedom from the clan, something Tora never dared to imagine; for someone in his position, hope was a tricky, dangerous thing. It could eat you up from the inside or it could get you killed. 

But now? Now it was here, something tangible he could see and touch. Hope didn’t look exactly as he thought it would, presenting itself in the shape of a black flash drive, a collection of video files, the notebook he was going to find… 

Most importantly, hope had a pulse. It had curves, a five-foot nothing frame. It had big brown eyes and the prettiest smile he’d ever seen. It had a sweet voice, one that laughed, that teased, cried and moaned his name. 

Hope had warmth, talent, drive. Hope had tiny hands that reached for him, that touched him gently and held him close. 

Hope had a name. 

_Poppy._

A life free of the clan meant a life with her. They could go wherever they wanted, _do_ whatever they wanted. They could live together, in an apartment, a little house on the beach, a cardboard box, he didn’t give a shit, as long as she was there. 

A normal job for him, where he’d be home at 5:00 every night. He’d cook dinners for her, after he learned how to, anyway. He'd fall asleep beside her in their bed every night and wake up next to her every morning. 

Marriage. She’d want to marry him, right? Tora couldn’t see why not. They were in love and committed to each other and if her collection of romance novels was anything to go by, she was more than likely into the idea.

Kids? Did she want kids? Did _he?_ It wasn’t something he’d ever given thought to before; he’d never really had the option and now that it might be a possibility… he didn’t think it’d be so bad. Kids were just people shorter than Poppy and probably just as feisty and sweet. Christ, if she wanted them, he did too. 

Tora glanced down at his phone and realized it was already 5:30. Shit, his meeting with Lane had run longer than he thought. Oh, well. He’d known this might happen, which is why he’d sent Tyson to pick Poppy up from her office at five. 

Huh. That was weird. Normally Tyson sent him a text to let him know that he’d picked her up, but not today. Maybe he’d had shitty reception in Lane’s office? Tora glanced at the bars in the corner of the screen; he had full service _now_ and had been sitting in his car long enough that any delayed messages should’ve come through. Maybe he should give him a ca-

Suddenly his phone lit up in his hand and the words _GYU CALLING_ flashed across the screen. 

“You heard from Tyson?” Tora asked as he brought the phone to his ear. 

“No, bro, that’s why I’m callin’,” Gyu said. There was an edge to his voice that Tora didn’t like. 

“They’re still not here and that’s not like them. Tyson always has Poppy home by this time.”

Tora’s heart froze solid and heavy in his chest as one word, one _name_ screamed through his mind. 

_Kane._

_RED._  
_RED._  
_RED._  
_REDREDRED._

“Where is he?” Tora hissed, knowing he wouldn’t need to tell Gyu who he meant. 

“Tracking puts him at Giant Goldfish at 4:30 and now, with the route he’s taking, it looks like he’s heading toward Goliath’s apart-“

It was all he needed to hear. 

Tora ended the call and immediately dialed Poppy’s number. It rang and rang and then he heard the sweet sound of her voice. 

_Hi, it’s Poppy! I can’t come to the phone right now, so please leave your name…_

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Again. 

He called her again, then again and each time he was directed to her voicemail. 

Maybe she was in a place she couldn’t answer the phone or risk having Kane hear her. 

He punched out a text message and then another. 

_please tell me you’re safe_

_Poppy I love you and I’m on my way_

Tora threw his car into drive, screeched out of the lot and onto the street. He wove rapidly through two lanes of traffic, coursing like a disease through a bloodstream; the surrounding cars felt like stubborn antibodies, fighting hard against him to ensure he didn’t reach her in time. 

_Get out of my fucking way._

With one hand gripping the steering wheel and his outstretched thumb laying on the horn, he used the other to dial Tyson and pressed the phone between his ear and neck. It rang and rang and then voicemail. 

Again. No answer. 

Shit. Shit. _Shit._

In that moment, he wasn’t certain of a lot of things. He didn’t know if Poppy was okay, if Tyson was with her. He didn’t know what Kane's intentions were or if he’d even still be at Goliath’s apartment by the time Tora arrived. 

All Tora knew was that today, Kane was going to die.

\---

As the speedometer needle climbed upwards, Tora’s mind echoed with the sound of voices. Some begged, some threatened and others made him feel like at any moment, he was going to lose all self-control.

_Please be okay._

_Please be okay._

_Please be okay._

_If he hurt her, I’m going to fucking kill him._

_Who are you kidding? You’re going to kill him, anyway. Him and whoever else stands in your way._

Fuck, what if Kane wasn’t alone? What if he’d involved Martin, Claude? Or that _psychopath_ Scharch? Tora had his Glock in the trunk, but what if it wasn’t enough? He had no idea what he was about to walk into and there was absolutely _no one_ he could turn to. Gyu was in the guard booth monitoring Kane’s movements and Tyson wasn’t answering his phone. Involving Lane was out of the question. 

No one else in the clan knew about Poppy; well, no one else except…

_Quincey._

_The code._

Fuck. 

If they were ever brothers, if they meant anything to each other at _all,_ Quincey would do this for him. He was his only hope. 

Clutching the steering wheel tightly in one hand, Tora stabbed out a quick text with the other. 

_near, far_

Several silent moments passed and as he approached the fringe of the Ares Street district, his phone beeped. 

_Quince, 1 New Message_

_Wherever you are_

Thank. Fucking. Christ. 

_949 n ares st unit 3b door will be open_

\---

Tora turned quietly into the alleyway behind Goliath’s building and relief crested in him at the sight of Kane’s parked car. 

He was still here, which meant she might be alive. Kane wasn’t one to stick around for body disposals. Tora also didn’t see anyone else’s cars that he knew, which gave him hope that Kane was the only one he’d have to deal with. 

Tora silently slipped out of the car and popped the trunk. The Glock had already been loaded with a full magazine, so he clicked the safety switch off and held it firmly at his waist, pointed to the ground. He left the trunk lid and driver’s door open; he’d come this far and couldn’t afford to let the slightest sound give him away. 

As he took the stairs two at a time, his heart began to pound hard against his chest. Every thud of his heart and every step that he took reverberated in his ears; if he listened closely, they sounded a lot like that one voice in his head, begging, pleading. 

_Badump. Badump. Badump._

_Please. Be. Okay._

_Step. Step. Step._

_Please. Be. Okay._

As he approached Goliath’s door, he held his ear to it closely. The voice in his head went silent and was replaced by two more, a woman’s soft voice and the deeper, angrier tone of a man. 

_She was alive._

In just a few minutes, he wouldn't be able to say the same for Kane.

Tora lifted his fist and knocked firmly on the door. 

“Kane,” he bellowed, “I’m gonna open this door and when I do, _yer fuckin’ dead.”_


	23. Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG this is the last angsty chapter! Then we're on to a fluffier epilogue and I. Can't. WAIT. 
> 
> I'm also toying with the idea of a few Stages one-shots after this is over (and I've taken a little breather! LOL) I've had a few requests for the wedding night, babies, etc. and I'm considering these, but I'd like to know what your thoughts are? If there's enough interest, I can add one last chapter to this story after the epilogue where you can post your votes/ideas for potential one-shots. 
> 
> Please let me know and we can make it happen :) 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this latest chapter! Thank you all so much for reading and being here always <3 <3 
> 
> Love you all and see you soon, 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Oh brother, we'll go deeper than the ink  
Beneath the skin of our tattoos  
Though we don't share the same blood  
You're my brother and I love you, that's the truth”  
-Kodaline, “Brother”

\---

“Kane,” he bellowed, “I’m gonna open this door and when I do, _yer fuckin’ dead.”_

From the other side of the door, Poppy’s voice called out to him. 

“Tora! He has a gun!”

He knew Kane did; she never would have gotten into the car with him otherwise. 

Tora had a gun too; he was a better shot than Kane and he was going to get her out of this. Alive. 

He flattened himself against the wall on the right side of the door and used his arm to swing it open. Slowly, he peered around the frame and pointed the barrel of his Glock into the room; from where he stood, Poppy was partially covered by the door, but he could make out that she was standing in front of the couch and Kane was behind her. 

_Behind_ her, like she was a goddamn shield. Who was the soft one now?

_And where the fuck was Tyson?_

“Poppy? You okay, sweetheart? Did he hurt ya?” Tora called out. 

There was a pause and then she called back, “He hit me in the face a couple of times, but I’m okay.”

A sound emerged from his mouth then; it was rumbling, guttural, born somewhere deep inside his chest. It reminded him of that vengeful voice, full of rage, hissing inside his mind. 

_He touched her. Hit her. You know what you have to do._

Tora slid sideways into the room and aimed his Glock at Kane, who immediately ducked down behind Poppy. 

Christ, the look on her face, the wide-eyed fear and… was that _blood_ trickling from her mouth?

_RED._

_RED._

_DEAD._

_Kill him. Kill him right now._

He _couldn’t._ Despite all of his training and his marksman’s ability, he would never fire a gun in Poppy’s direction. Ever. 

And Kane knew it. 

“I told ya, Kane,” Tora hissed and as he moved to the center of the room, he left the door gaping wide open behind him. Quincey was on his way and he couldn’t risk Kane hearing his arrival. “If ya laid yer hands on my girlfriend one more time, it was the last thing ya’d live to do. Get out from behind her, ya fuckin’ _coward.”_

“I’m not stupid,” Kane spit back at him. “I know how deadly ya are with that thing. Put it the _fuck_ down and I won’t blow her brains out right now.”

The metallic sound of Kane cocking his gun reached Tora’s ears and he froze. He needed to get Kane to take his gun off her. Tora knew he was unhinged, but he’d never been this _bold_ before, preferring to hide behind Martin, Claude and anonymous tips to the police. Who knew what the fuck he was going to do?

“Tora, _he killed Tyson,”_ Poppy sobbed. “He slit his throat in Quincey’s car. Don’t put your gun down. He’ll kill you, too. _Don’t do it.”_

His heart seized in his chest.

_Not Tyson. Not like that._

_Fuck. Fuck. FUCK._

“Put the fuckin’ gun down or she’s dead!” Kane roared. 

God damnit, he had no choice but to believe him. He needed to work on trying to get Kane to point his gun at him instead and if he put his Glock down, it would be somewhere Quincey couldn’t miss it. It would be impossible for him to deny Kane’s true nature after seeing him like this; he’d pick up the gun and shoot him. Tora had shown him how to use it before and Quincey would defend him now. He _had_ to. 

Tora had no other choice but to believe it.

He met Poppy’s gaze then. “S’okay, Bobby,” he said quietly and set the gun down beside the open doorway. As he did this, her body shook with sobs and tears slipped down her face. 

Kane was going to pay for every single one. 

Tora raised his hands up in front of him. “All right, Kane, gun’s down.”

Kane remained crouched behind her with one hand clamped around her wrist. 

“Kane, fuckin’ _look at me.”_

Finally, he rose up behind Poppy and peered at Tora over her shoulder. 

“Take the gun off her,” Tora said. “Point it over here.”

“Where’s yer Glock?” Kane asked. 

“On the floor behind me,” Tora pointed. 

“Ya got any more on you?”

“How long have ya known me, Kane?” he asked him. “Ya know I don’t. If a job’s too big for me and my Glock, then I don’t come alone. And I don’t see anyone else here.”

Not yet, anyway. 

_C’mon Quince, get yer ass here._

“Didn’t think I was much of a threat, huh? Think yer gonna find ya’ve vastly underestimated me,” Kane replied sourly. 

Though he’d never admit it to Kane, he _had._ He never anticipated he’d murder Tyson on a public street. He was off the handle now and Tora had no idea what he would do next. 

Tora needed to get the gun focused away from her; Kane was hot-tempered and he’d point his gun at him if Tora implied he was soft. That pissed him off more than anything in this world. 

“Nah, don’t think so,” Tora smirked. 

As he’d predicted, Kane aimed the handgun at him. 

_Good._

“Get away from the door,” Kane said through clenched teeth. 

“Sure. Where do ya want me?”

“Come forward, in the middle of the room.”

Tora took two steps and planted his feet where Kane signaled. “Kane, why the fuck you doin’ this?” he asked. “You know it ends badly for ya.”

“Nah, don’t think so, bro. I got somethin’ ya want and soon as I hand it over to Vincent, yer done.”

Over his dead _fucking_ body. 

“Yer not takin’ Poppylan anywhere,” Tora growled at him. 

“No, not the bitch. I’ve got ya brother’s notebook.”

Tora could feel his eyes widening. It was the last thing he expected to hear. _Kane_ had it? How the fuck did he even know where Goliath lived? He’d never been here before. Had he followed Tora there? _Tracked_ him?

His eyes flickered to Poppy for confirmation and she nodded. 

“He has it,” she whimpered. “I saw it.”

 _Good._

The notebook was the key to Tora and Poppy’s freedom and as an added bonus, it was now another nail in Kane’s coffin. Getting rid of him would be the easiest thing Tora had ever done. 

Tora changed his expression then and dropped all emotion from his face. Kane probably already understood how important that notebook was, but he would downplay it to be safe. “The fuck ya think Vincent is gonna want with my kid brother’s random scribblings?” he asked. 

“Naw, these ain’t random,” Kane laughed. “I’m sure ya’ve heard of Modi Suzuki, the hotshot politician?”

Tora said nothing. 

“His name’s in it,” Kane continued, “along with the names of eight other city officials who’ve had dealings with the clan. There’s a list of evidence that ties them directly to the Balthumans. And won’t Vincent love ta hear that his prized tiger had it sittin’ in his car, dead set on showin’ it to the police?”

Fuck. If _anyone_ had seen him at Lane’s office earlier that day…

Tora snorted at him. “Makes ya think Vincent will even believe ya? He thinks yer a _fool,_ Kane. Told me so himself.”

“He fuckin’ won’t after this,” he snarled at him. “Not when I have Martin ta back me up. And ya know he will. Thinks yer as soft and disrespectful as I do. And we’re gonna love watchin’ Vincent rip you apart.”

 _Hmmpf. Pretty smart. If he pulls this off, you’ll never see Poppy again,_ the voice hissed from some dark corner of his mind. 

_RED._

Tora crossed his arms across his chest. “Well, Kane, sounds like ya got everythin’ figured out. It’s a good plan. I’m impressed. Yer not as fuckin’ stupid as ya look.”

The moment those words left Tora’s mouth, he regretted them. 

Kane growled and pressed the barrel into of the gun against Poppy’s head. She winced at the contact and fresh tears slid down her red cheeks.

_Way to go, you fucking idiot._

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

“Kane, what’d I say? C’mon, point the gun over here at me. She’s not the one who’s a threat to ya right now.”

Kane forced the gun even harder into Poppy’s temple and Tora head her whimper. 

_FUCK._

_”Kane, look at me._ S’pose I’m the stupid one here, ‘cuz I dunno where Poppy falls into any of this. Whaddya got against her, huh?”

He knew exactly why Poppy was here, but he needed to get Kane talking again. _Anything_ to keep him from pulling that trigger. 

He watched as Kane removed the gun from her temple and then jammed it into the apple of her cheek. “Yer fuckin’ her, ain’t ya?”

Christ, she meant so much _more_ to him than that. She was everything. 

Tora’s jaw clenched as he slowly nodded. “I know the concept is foreign to ya, but I love her.” He met Poppy’s eyes then. “Wouldn’t be standin’ here if I didn’t.”

Kane barked out a laugh from behind her. “Then how can ya not see it? She’s a _guarantee._ Yer a damn sucker for her. The second she’s dead, the legendary Tiger of Ares Street becomes a rabid animal. ‘Tween that and the notebook, you’ll be a threat to Vincent and the clan and he’ll have no choice but to put you down.”

Tora didn’t give a shit about any of that. 

He needed to get that gun off of Poppy. 

“Makes ya think I’m gonna let that happen?” Tora asked quietly as he slowly took a couple steps toward them. 

“Fuckin’ stay where you are, asshole,” Kane barked at him. He released his hold on Poppy and moved away from her in the opposite direction of Tora. He _was_ smarter than he looked; he knew better than to let someone as fast and strong as Tora get too close to him. 

Then Kane pointed the gun at him. “Ya ain’t gotta choice,” he said. “This is happenin’.”

Now that he had an opening, he continued to tread lightly towards Poppy. He had to get in front of her, needed to touch her. 

“I know ya ain’t gonna kill me,” he told him. “Fer yer little plan ta work, ya need me alive. Ya need ta turn me into Vincent in order to gain his respect.”

Kane sidestepped toward the middle of the room, where Tora had been standing. “Keep fuckin’ movin’ and I shoot her.”

“Ya keep sayin’ that,” Tora said, “but I don’t think you’ll kill her. Ya know that as soon as ya do, I won’t let you outta this room alive. You weren’t expectin’ me ta show up ‘n throw a wrench in yer plans, were ya?”

Kane clenched both hands around the handgun and aimed the gun at her. 

“I love you, Tora,” she murmured. 

_No._

_”Shut the fuck up,”_ Kane seethed at her and then looked at Tora. “You bein’ here doesn’t change a goddamn thing.”

As Kane said these words, Tora took a deep breath and lunged in front of Poppy. 

“If ya shoot her, ya gotta do it through me,” Tora said and slid one arm behind his back to hold her to him. Poppy shoved herself into him and sobbed quietly as she clung to his arm. His tiny girlfriend was still breathing, warm, _alive_ and Tora was going to make sure she stayed that way. 

“Move yer ass, Tora,” Kane ground out as he cocked his gun. 

“Y’know this only ends one way, Kane,” Tora told him calmly and clutched tightly to Poppy. 

_”Get the fuck outta the way!”_ Kane screamed and Tora felt her wind her fists into his shirt.

Tora stood his ground and as he waited for the blow he expected to come, there was a flicker of movement at the door behind Kane.

He sucked in a deep breath. 

_Quincey._

For a moment, the blonde man paused in the doorway, his features painted with shock. He didn’t move, just stood and watched, listened. 

_Move, Quincey. I need you to move._

Kane’s laughter broke the silence. “Okay, fuck this. New plan. I kill both of ya and tell Quincey that I saw ya bring her here against her will. I came after ya to try ‘n stop ya, but you killed his poor little editor before I even got inside. Ya were chasin’ her tail and she rejected yer advances for the last time. The tiger snapped and I had to put him down.”

“And,” Kane continued, “I’ll give Quincey the notebook, tell him I found it on ya. He and Vincent will be _thankin’_ me for gettin’ rid of ya.”

Out of his peripheral vision, Tora saw hurt, _anger_ slowly seep over Quincey’s face and he took two careful, quiet steps into the room. 

“Makes you think Quincey will believe you? He’s my brother,” Tora said and made eye contact with him as he said it. 

“Pfft, all the years I’ve spent kissin’ his ass have paid off, that fuckin’ dandy will eat whatever shit I feed him. And he ain’t yer brother,” Kane sneered. “In fact, ya ain’t a brother anymore when the only one ya ever had is _dead.”_

As Kane spit these words out, Tora watched Quincey glance down and take notice of the gun on the floor in front of him. He held it up, pointed it at Kane’s back and then clenched both hands tightly around the handle. 

With tears pouring down his face, Quincey cocked the gun and nodded once at Tora. 

In one calm breath, he simply said, “Kane.”

Tora didn’t see what happened next. 

The moment Quincey nodded, Tora whipped around, wrapped Poppy in his arms and dropped them both to the floor as the sound of a gunshot shattered across the room. 

\---

Over the sound of Poppy screaming, Tora heard a heavy _thud_ somewhere on the floor beside them. He glanced over his shoulder and was met with the sight of Kane, lifeless and bleeding out on the floor. 

Relief swept over him as he looked back to Poppy, who let out a loud wail beneath him. He pressed his knees into the floor to ease his body weight off her and then he framed her face in his hands.

“Sweetheart, hey, s’okay,” he murmured and kissed her forehead. “I’m right here and it’s over. Just breathe, okay? _Breathe.”_

Poppy blinked up at him then and focused hard on his face until finally, she tilted her head up and kissed him, then wrapped her arms around his neck. 

“Honey?” Quincey’s voice warbled from somewhere beside them. “Is she okay?”

Tora gently pulled back from her and his gaze scanned over her injured eye and her split lip. His jaw clenched. 

_Fucking bastard._

“He hit her a couple times,” he bit out, “but she’ll be okay. She’s a feisty one.” He smiled down at her and brushed her hair out of her eyes. 

Tora pushed himself off her and helped her stand on her feet. She turned and looked at Quincey, then down at Kane’s body. 

She wiped the tears from her eyes. “Q-Quincey? What are you doing here?”

Quincey dropped the Glock as he stepped forward and reached out to cup her face. He gently ran his thumb over her split lip and swallowed hard. “Tora sent me a text before he came here… oh, honey, I’m so sorry. _I’m so sorry,”_ he whimpered and pulled Poppy into a hug. “We’ll go back to my apartment and I’ll have the doctor come look at you, okay?”

Poppy squeezed him back and then gazed over his shoulder at Tora. “You texted him?” she asked. 

Tora nodded. “Sent him the code, somethin’ we’ve been doin’ since we were kids. If one of us is in trouble, we send the code to the other person. That way if anyone’s lookin’ at their phone, they don’t know what it means. If ya get the code, ya have to drop whatever it is yer doin’ and go to ‘em. No matter what.”

“I was having dinner with Jonathan in the city,” Quincey told her. “I got the text from Tora with the code and this address; he told me the door would be open. I didn’t think I’d be coming here to- to…” He stumbled forward in Poppy’s arms and she struggled to hold his weight. 

Shit. Tora held his hands out to steady Quincey and silently berated himself for not filling him in. Like Tora, he’d had no idea what he was walking into and Tora was in such a panic, he didn’t even think to warn him.

“Oof, sorry, honey. I’m still a little queasy. I don’t take to violence very well. I’ve never _killed_ anyo-“

Tora was sorry he had to, but so glad he did. 

“Thank you for coming, Quincey,” Poppy cut him off and squeezed him tighter. 

“Of _course,”_ he said. “He’s my brother.”

_Brothers._

They really were. 

Quincey planted a kiss on Poppy’s forehead and then turned to Tora. “Honey, I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you. I didn’t _see_ it. You two have been at each other’s throats since we were kids and I… I thought-“ Quincey trailed off and the next thing he knew, he was wrapped up inside the sobbing blonde man’s arms. 

Well, if this wasn’t fucking awkward. Tora shot a pleading look at Poppy and she shrugged at him. 

Tora sighed. “S’fine, Quince,” he said and lightly patted Quincey on the back. “Ya were here fer me when it mattered most.”

“B-but I should have been there for you this whole _tiiiiiiime,”_ Quincey whined. 

“Well, yeah, ya should’ve,” Tora replied and Poppy squinted at him. He sighed again. 

At least she hadn’t lost her feistiness.

“What can I ever do to make it up to you?” his brother asked. 

_You can get the hell off me. I want to hug my girlfriend and you’re getting my shirt all wet with your snot._

“Ahhh, I’m sure I’ll think of somethin’,” he replied. 

“I-I’m just so glad I came up with the code all those years ago,” Quincey blubbered. “I’m a genius really. And don’t you dare try to take credit for it to look good in front of Poppy,” he told Tora sternly. 

Like _fuck_ he’d ever take credit for a code that consisted of words from a song about a stupid love boat. 

“Pfft. Trust me, I wouldn’t. That was all you, princess.”

Tora managed to wriggle out from his brother’s embrace and made a beeline for Poppy. He folded her into a hug and held her tightly against him. “I’m sorry, Poppylan,” he said into her ear. “I love you and I’m _so sorry._ Thought I was gonna lose ya today. When Ronzo called me and told me ya didn’t make it home…”

“I love you, too,” she murmured into his neck. “And I don’t ever want to hear you apologize for Kane again. He made his choices and he paid for them.”

Poppy shifted her head and looked long and hard at Kane before stooping down beside his body and tugging one side of his coat away from his chest. 

“Poppy…” Tora said, unsure of what she was doing. Kane was dead, but he still didn’t want her touching him or getting any of his blood on her. She’d made enough bad memories for one day. 

She ignored him and felt around inside the inner pocket of the coat. When her hand emerged, it was clutching the notebook, splattered in his blood. She held it out to Tora. 

He sucked in a breath as he plucked it from her hand. He’d seen it so many times, but it never held any significance for him until now. He used to tease Goliath about his “diary” and had even tried to steal it from him on occasion, but Goliath kept it well hidden and now, Tora would finally see what was inside of it. 

_It was all there._

The nine names of the politicians and then different locations scribbled across from each one. The first one read _Modi Suzuki, Best Waffles._

“What do you think these locations mean?” Poppy pointed. 

“Dunno, sweetheart. Maybe that’s where we find the videos?”

“Sounds like a good place to start.”

Quincey spoke out from the other side of the room. “Um, sorry to interrupt, but what are we going to do about _that?”_ he asked as he pointed down at Kane’s body. A nauseated look passed over his face. 

“I’ll call Winston, get a couple of guys over here for clean up,” Tora replied. 

“Oh, right. Clan protocol,” Quincey replied as he stepped gingerly over the body. He clapped one hand on Tora’s shoulder. “Then what? Anything I can do?”

Shit, he’d already done so much, more than he’d ever wanted to ask of him. He had _killed_ for Tora, proven to him that they were brothers. And yet, it didn’t feel like enough. Until he was out of the clan, he wasn’t sure _anything_ would feel like enough.

A life free to be lived with Poppy _would._

“Yeah, I thought of how ya can make it up to me,” Tora told him.

Quincey blinked at him. “Oh. So soon. Well, what is it? Name it. Anything. _Anything_ you want.”

Tora gazed down at Poppy, who smiled up at him. “I want outta the clan,” he said and trained his eyes on Quincey. _“And yer gonna help me.”_


	24. Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, the last chapter :( 
> 
> Good lord, this has been such an emotional, rewarding, draining, _wonderful_ experience. I have absolutely LOVED writing these stories for you, first from our girl Poppy's POV and now from Tora's. I'm so glad all of you peer-pressured me into rewriting Stages from his point of view LOL. It was something that I didn't even realize needed to happen, but you guys knew best, so thank you <3
> 
> Tomorrow, I will be posting one last update to this story (Chapter 25) where you can toss your ideas for Stages one-shots at me in the comments. Like me, so many of you have stated that you're not ready for this series to be over yet and I am happy to continue writing it. So far, their wedding day/night, honeymoon and snapshots of kids have been mentioned, so I already have ideas fleshed out for those. Be ready to put your thinking caps on and let me know tomorrow what you'd like to see! 
> 
> Once again, THANK YOU for loving this story that came out of nowhere; I'm so grateful to Lily for creating Midnight Poppy Land in the first place, to everyone who has been here for Stages since the beginning, to those of you who have told me you've re-read it countless times and to those who are discovering it for the first time. I'm blessed to be touched by each and every one of you. 
> 
> Love you all and see you soon, 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“And all that you are I see in your eyes  
And honestly, love, I give you my life  
A beautiful life

This is a declaration  
A baring of my soul  
Let's have a conversation  
That nobody ever holds  
It gets so complicated  
Still I know  
You are the best thing (you are)  
You are the best thing  
You are gold  
Gold”  
-Matt Hartke ft. Maggie Peake, “Gold”

\---

“Christ, woman, ya ‘bout ready yet?” Tora called through the closed bathroom door. “Ya been in there for an hour!”

He heard Poppy giggle. 

“Okay, one,” came her muffled voice through the door, “I will forgive you for your impatience because this is your first time and I know how excited you are.”

Uh huh. Yup. First time going to the beach and first time proposing to someone, too. He was excited, nervous, going to pass out any minute and she was in there fucking _giggling._

Little shit. 

“And two,” she continued, “I’ll forgive you for calling me _woman_ because you have no idea what it means to be one. If we’re going to the beach, I have to shave my legs and that takes awhile, Mr. Hairless Cat.”

Pfft. 

God damnit, if she didn’t come out soon, he was going to kick the door open and get down on one knee in the bathroom of their one-bedroom apartment. 

He laughed at her. “All right, Bobby. Take your time. But hurry.”

Poppy giggled again. “Relax, mister. I’m almost done.”

Thank Christ. 

He retreated from the door and padded downstairs to wait for her on the sofa. As his eyes roamed over the little knick knacks that cluttered most of the surfaces in the living room, their growing plant collection and the framed photos of them displayed on the main wall, he smiled to himself. 

They really had come a long way. 

\----

After Kane was killed and Tora enlisted Quincey’s help in getting out of the clan, things began to move forward… slowly. 

Despite proving to Quincey that he was right about Kane, Tora knew it might take a little convincing to get him on board. Loyalty to people like Vincent and indifference to clan matters eventually became something you didn’t practice anymore; Tora knew all too well that, over time, it was ingrained, a bad habit, something that grew to be _part_ of you.

Later that night, after Doctor Mak had treated Poppy’s injuries and gone, Quincey sat across from Tora on the sofa with a disbelieving look on his face. 

“Whatever’s happened, it couldn’t have been _that_ bad, right?” Quincey asked, lip trembling. “I mean, not so bad that you’d want to leave _me?”_

Tora sighed as another bad habit of his brother’s came out to play: thinking that everything revolved around him. 

“Ain’t you, Quince,” he replied. “S’all of it. The shit I’ve done, the blood on my hands, everythin’. It’s not a life. And not one I want Poppy involved in. _I need out.”_

When Quincey still remained unconvinced two nights later, Tora made the difficult decision to _show_ his brother why he desperately needed to be free of the Balthumans. 

When the scene of Young Tora beating a bound man to death flickered across Gyu’s laptop screen, Quincey gasped and sobbed and clung to Tora. 

“I’m sorry, I’m _so sorry,”_ he whimpered. “I had no idea. I was out playing fucking lacrosse and reading smut while you were… you were-“

“Not ya fault, princess,” Tora said and he meant it. He’d never blamed Quincey once for the way Vincent had raised him. “S’how ya old man wanted it. And it was prolly better this way. Don’t think we woulda grown up together the same if youda known.” 

If Quincey had known about the abuse he’d suffered as a child and _still_ did nothing, Tora wouldn’t be sitting here with him now. It was easier to forgive someone for their innocence, for not knowing. 

“Y-you know I’m not him, right?” Quincey asked. “If I took over the clan, I’d never _ever_ make you do anything like that.”

_If he took over the clan._

Just as he didn’t want this life for himself, Gyu, Poppy, he never wanted it for his brother either. He deserved a choice, too. 

“Already told ya, I don’t want a life in the clan,” Tora replied. “Not for me, Poppylan, you or Ronzo. We take yer dad down, Quince, and we’re all _free.”_

With the one giant hand that wasn’t clapped around the blonde man’s shoulder, Tora reached for Poppy across the couch, squeezed her fingers and smiled at her. She returned his smile and grasped his hand tightly. 

Quincey watched this silent exchange between them and began blubbering again. “Well, if you two aren’t writing my next romance novel for me,” he gasped out and wiped away the tears on his cheeks. “I’m going to write about you. I’ll change your names, of course, but I have _so_ many ideas and you guys are so _sexy._ I’ll even give you a percentage of the royalties!”

Poppy blushed and giggled as she threw a glance at Tora. He sighed. Once Quincey latched onto inspiration for his writing, he wouldn’t fucking let it go until it was down on paper or you agreed that it was a good idea. They had more serious shit they needed to discuss right now and throwing a ball in the blonde man’s direction would get them there quicker.

“Christ. Whatever, princess. Just don’t ‘spect to get any personal… _details_ outta us.”

He’d certainly tried in the past, but Tora remained tight-lipped, even about the women who meant nothing. Quincey was dreaming if he thought Tora would ever utter a breath to him about Poppy in _that_ regard. 

Quincey clapped his hands together and squealed. “Oh, yay! Thank you, honey. And not to worry about the smutty details; I have plenty of experience in that area, so I won’t need your help there. In fact-“

 _”Quinceton,”_ Tora sighed and rolled his eyes, “I know ya excited, but what about the clan? You gonna help us or not?”

Quincey went silent and looked thoughtful for a long moment. “I’m going to help you get out,” he finally said. “Whatever it takes.”

\---

Immediately after Kane and Tyson’s deaths, Tora commissioned Winston and his men for clean-up. He didn’t give a shit what they did with Kane, but he was very specific that Vincent was not to know he was dead. The last thing he needed was Martin or Claude breathing down his neck or pointing fingers. They were also to handle Tyson with respect, to cremate his body and deliver the ashes to Tora directly. 

Tyson had no family, as was the case for most men who’d grown up in the mafia. He’d been a loyal man, a good friend and died while he was tasked with protecting the most precious thing in Tora’s world; he wanted to be certain that Tyson was honored and properly remembered. 

Poppy, being the ever-thoughtful person that she was, insisted on ordering a specific urn. His ashes would be protected and layered within this white ceramic pot that doubled as a planter. “It’s what he would have wanted,” she told Tora matter-of-factly. He knew she was right.

When they received Tyson’s ashes a week after his death, they held a private memorial service for him in his glass greenhouse. They transferred his remains to the urn that now held a desert rose plant, gathered his plant collection and took them home. 

Tyson’s rare plants, along with the planter that held his ashes, were now displayed prominently in Tora and Poppy’s shared living room, where they would see the sun every day. 

\---

Before they began with legal proceedings, Lane pressured Poppy and Tora to track down the nine pieces of evidence Goliath’s notebook alluded to. “Once I officially have the flash drive in my hand, I can’t pretend I haven’t seen it,” she’d told them during their last meeting. 

“I can’t sit on evidence like this; I would have to start building the case right away. If Vincent is arrested and you’re traced as the cause, you become targets to clan members who are loyal to him. I can’t have that for you or Gyu, so keep your heads down until we have every single one of our eggs in a basket. Then we’ll take them all down at once.”

The search went on for two months and in that time, Tora still served as Quincey’s bodyguard. He also performed whatever heinous tasks Vincent charged him with, which came to include tracking down Kane. 

“That little prick has gone AWOL, I know it. ‘Obedient to a fault’ my ass,” Vincent mocked Martin and shot him a pointed glare. Martin looked out into Vincent’s office, saying nothing. “Tora, find the fool and when you do, _shoot him on sight.”_

Knowing that the threat of Kane was eliminated, Tora spent his free time venturing out to the locations designated in the notebook. Some were restaurants Goliath frequented, a few small casinos, including the one owned by Heavy Bleeder and even clan-owned Club Miracle, right under Vincent Balthuman’s nose. 

Club Miracle, unlike the rest, was written in bright pink ink and Tora sighed. 

He was going to have to deal with fucking Candy. 

Poppy wanted to accompany him to these places, but it was a firm _no_ from Tora. “Ya done plenty already,” he told her. “Yer the reason I even thought ta look for the notebook in the first place. I gotta do this next part on my own and I don’t want ya to see some of the things I might hafta do.”

\---

The first location written in the notebook was a restaurant called Best Waffles. It was a little hole in the wall place that Goliath had worked at when he was younger; he’d left the job on good terms with the owner and Tora hoped that meant she might direct him to exactly what he needed. 

When he arrived, the owner’s punk son was there; he told Tora that he wasn’t getting past him without paying a hefty sum. It took Tora one swing to knock him on his ass and out cold. His mother stood by watching from the corner and instead of dialing the police like he thought she might, she’d smirked and told him to follow her. 

Goliath had left a box of belongings behind in a storage closet; the older woman brought it out and left Tora to dig through it alone. Inside he found some of Goliath’s old clothes, a pair of aviator sunglasses and at the bottom, a DVD labelled “Modi Suzuki.”

Tora smiled widely to himself. 

Fucking Goliath, finally coming through. 

He tucked the disc into his jacket pocket and as he stood, he tossed the aviators back into the box. He stooped to pick up his brother’s clothes and when he did, a large, rolled up wad of cash fell out of the pocket of a gray shirt. 

A small piece of paper was rubber banded to it and one word was written across it in bright, pink ink. 

_Reyna._

\---

Under the colorful strobe lights and wave of booming music of Club Miracle, Tora leaned with his back against the bar. It wouldn’t take her long to find him. It never did. 

He fired up a cigarette while he waited and after a handful of minutes, he could make out her pink hair bobbing through the crowd toward him. 

“Hey there, Tiger,” Candy cooed as she slithered up to his side. “I haven’t seen you in awhile. I missed you.”

Tora stubbed out his cigarette and smiled down at her. “S’why I’m here. Missed ya too.”

She blinked her big pink eyes in surprise. “R-really?”

“Mmmhmm.” He lowered his head then and rested his lips on the shell of her ear. “Ya got some place we can be alone? I’ll do somethin’ for you if ya do somethin’ fer me,” he whispered. 

Candy pulled her head away and took his hand in her own. “Follow me,” she grinned. 

She led him up a side staircase and to a door he’d never been through before; when he stepped inside, he was met with the sight of dusty rose furniture and accessories, shag carpet and a chandelier whose lightbulbs emitted a bright, pink glow.

He locked the door behind him and took a seat on a fluffy, overstuffed sofa. 

“This is my private suite,” she said as she sauntered up to him and straddled his lap. “We can do whatever you want.” 

Tora smirked up at her and placed his large hands on her hips. “I got somethin’ in mind,” he said. 

Before she could utter another word, Tora lifted her off him and stood. He withdrew Gyu’s switchblade from his pocket and sunk it into one of the couch cushions. He drew a clean line through it and thrust his hand inside. 

“Oh my god! What in the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing?!” she cried out and shoved at him with one hand.

Ignoring her, he continued to search. He cut up the rest of the couch, the pillows, fragments of the carpet. Candy screamed and when she made a beeline for the door, he stood in front of her. 

“Ya walk out that door and you’ll regret it, Reyna,” he said. 

Candy froze in her tracks and her rosy eyes widened as she looked up at him. “What… what did you just call me?” she whispered. 

Tora would never have recognized her; when he’d last seen Reyna all those years ago, she’d been blonde-haired and blue-eyed, exactly Goliath’s type. He wasn’t sure how or when she’d gotten mixed into clan business, but his brother obviously knew and wanted her out. 

Because she meant something to Goliath, he’d make sure it happened. 

“Yer real name is Reyna,” he told her as he withdrew the large wad of cash in his pocket. “And Goliath wanted ya to have this.”

She took it gingerly, her mouth hanging open. “But wh- how… I don’t go by that n-name anymore,” she sputtered. “I… _can’t.”_

“I know,” he said. Tora dragged a chair over from the corner and perched it beneath the chandelier. He stood on it and inspected the light fixture; taped above one of the elaborate arms was a small, flat memory card. Tora plucked it from the painted metal arm and hopped down. He shoved the tiny device into his pocket and gazed down at Candy, who was crying freely. 

“I’m goin’ ta tell you this one time,” he said firmly. “Somethin’ big’s about ta go down. Use that money to get out while ya still can.”

Candy nodded at him through her tears. “Okay.”

As he turned his back to leave, she called out to him. 

“Thank you.”

Tora glanced at her over his shoulder as he opened the door. “Thank my brother,” he said and left her alone.

\---

Two months later, all nine pieces of evidence were collected and everything was turned in to Inspector Lane. 

Before she declared the evidence and officially presented the case against Vincent, Lane made sure to enroll the Tora, Poppy, Gyu and Quincey, now that he was involved, into the temporary witness protection program. They were relocated to top floor apartments in the city with high security and were accompanied by escorts and bodyguards whenever they left the buildings. 

Just like she’d promised. 

Once Lane made her case public, things moved in a blur. 

Official charges were brought against Vincent Balthuman, along with Martin, a few other high-ranking clan members and the nine politicians. Images of their subsequent arrests were splashed across television screens, magazines and newspapers for weeks and then finally, their trials began.

\---

Tora eventually stood and made his way into the kitchen, where he cracked open a can of strawberry juice and leaned against the counter while he waited for Poppy. A few moments later, her soft voice drifted out from behind him. 

“Hey, handsome.”

He turned around and smiled at her brightly, then sighed as he noticed the large tote bag hanging from her shoulder. 

“Shoulda told me you were bringin’ this big bag,” he said as he crossed the room and slid it off her arm. “Woulda at least carried it down the stairs for ya.”

“It’s fine, Tora. I’ll let you carry it to the car,” she teased as she moved past him and began to load snacks, water and the rest of the strawberry juice into a cooler. 

He smirked and turned his attention to the heavy bag he was holding. “What the hell ya got in here, anyway?’

“Usual beach stuff. Towels, sunblock, shovels, pails, a book…”

He snorted. “How _much_ sunblock?” he asked, lifting the beach bag like a dumbbell. “Feels like I’m holdin’ a sack of bricks.”

Poppy scowled at him. “Well, excuse me, but not all of us can get a tan just by sneezing outside on a sunny day, mister,” she said. _”Some_ of us burn.” She gestured down to the fair skin of her bare legs and Tora’s eyes widened. 

He quietly set the bag down on the tiled floor as he studied her. She was wearing nothing but a one-piece bathing suit and some sort of lacy, see through sweater thing over it. She looked hot as _hell_ and right now, their plans to go to the beach were forgotten; he had a new plan of his own. 

Tora crossed the kitchen to stand in front of her and caged her against the counter with his arms. “I’ll protect ya from the sun, Bobby,” he murmured and planted an open-mouthed kiss on her neck. “Just gotta cover ya body with mine.”

His favorite color immediately seeped into her cheeks. “Th-thought you were in a hurry to get to the beach?” she choked out. 

“Was. Then you came down here in this lil’ outfit and now I got other things on my mind,” he whispered against her ear. “The beach’ll still be there in half an hour, right?”

Poppy’s eyes rolled closed. “Mmmhmm.”

His lips captured hers then and his tongue traced slow, lazy circles inside her mouth. He hoisted her onto the counter and ground his hard cock into her center. She groaned at the contact and then gasped sharply. 

“Ow… Hey, Tora…-“

 _Fuck._ She must’ve felt the ring in his pocket. 

“Ignore it,” he gruffed out against her neck. 

“What…? No, I mean, there’s something in your shorts that’s poking me-“

“Ignore it,” he told her again. 

“But it’s uncomfortable…”

He lifted his eyes to hers then and smirked. “Guess I’ll hafta take my shorts off then, huh?”

\---

“Oh my god, honey, look at this _spread!”_ Quincey squealed as he bounded up to one of the many glass countertops surrounding them. 

Tora sighed. He knew he should’ve brought fucking Gyu instead. 

He’d decided to wait to go ring shopping until the Balthuman trials were over; he didn’t want bodyguards hovering at a time like this. He was already nervous enough. 

When the trials came to an abrupt end after Martin, Claude and the politicians folded like cheap suits and ratted out any meaningful name that would shave time off their sentences, Vincent was found guilty and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. 

With the official end of the clan, Tora felt as though he could breathe again. He knew it would take awhile before the paranoia would subside, as it had been his constant companion for most of his life, but eventually, one day, he wouldn’t feel the need to look over his shoulder anymore. He would focus straight ahead, on his feet, moving one in front of the other. He would focus on Poppy and all the days to come. 

The day after the trials ended, Tora asked Quincey to go ring shopping with him. After the initial squealing, jumping up and down and sobbing, all done by his brother alone, Quincey recommended some swanky boutique in the city. 

When they walked into the store a week later, Tora scowled at the sparkly, obnoxious interior. Why did it have to be so damn bright? And why did every surface have to be coated in fucking glitter?

He smirked as he realized that Poppy would probably love it here. 

Not long after they arrived, they were approached by a sales associate; he was a dark-haired, suave man in a pinstripe suit who Quincey immediately took to. The sales associate brought out tray after tray of diamond rings that were, in Tora’s opinion, complete eye sores. They were massive, all different shapes and colors. One was even shaped like a damn lightning bolt; Quincey lost his mind over it and then immediately became distracted by a yellow crystal brooch shaped like a leopard. 

As Quincey fawned over the expensive pin, Tora took the opportunity to slink away to the other corner of the store. He’d known coming in here that he wanted something simple. It wasn’t that he couldn’t afford any of the others or that he _wouldn’t_ spend that kind of money on Poppy, he just knew they weren’t _her._

He wanted something nice, a ring that wouldn’t be too heavy or awkward on her tiny hand. It needed to be small enough that it wouldn’t outshine her, not that anything ever could. 

Tora wandered over to a smaller glass case and peered inside. Here. _Here_ is where all the normal rings were. As Quincey chattered distractedly with the associate behind him, Tora took his time and scanned through every row of rings. Finally, he saw it, the one he wanted. A simple, gold band, its center adorned with a single square diamond. 

It was beautiful, small, but eye-catching. Just like her. 

“Oi,” Tora called out to the two men across the store, “I found it.”

\---

Once they’d caught their breaths, Poppy stood up from the kitchen floor where Tora had just fucked her senseless. He admired the view as she tugged her bathing suit and cover-up back on. At the sight of her bare bottom, he couldn’t help himself; he reached up and gave it a hearty squeeze. 

Poppy giggled and looked down at him. “C’mon, mister,” she said and held out her hands to him. “The beach has been waiting long enough.”

\---

When they made the difficult decision to postpone their trip to the beach until the trials were over, Tora was upset and Poppy even more so. 

“You’re being dragged through this terrible trial and now we have to cancel something that could have brought you one tiny shred of happiness,” she’d said, her eyes brimming with tears. “It’s not fair.”

“We’ll go next year, when this is all done, Bobby,” he’d told her gently. “We’ll go ‘cuz we’re free, ‘cuz we _can,_ not just ‘cuz we wanna escape.”

Instead, they took advantage of their gained spare time and began to make plans regarding where they wanted to live. Poppy’s boss happily offered her the choice to work remotely if necessary, which widely broadened their options. 

They could go _anywhere._

Eventually, it was time for Tora to figure out what type of job he could see himself in. Though it had been a position under the umbrella of the clan, he’d _liked_ being Quincey’s bodyguard. He liked the idea of keeping people safe. 

When he decided he wanted to pursue a position in private security, Quincey helped him to fluff his resume and was an excellent reference. He spoke to several private security firms Tora had applied to and when he finally accepted a job after the completion of the trials, it was with a company two hours from Narin City, nine miles outside of Kintsugi Beach, the exact one he and Poppy had made plans to visit. 

They began looking for apartments in the area the next day. 

\---

“Um, Tora,” Poppy said from the passenger seat of his red sports car, “do you think you could slow down a little?”

Tora glanced at her, then at the speedometer and sighed. He hadn’t even realized he’d been speeding. “Sorry, sweetheart, just anxious to get there,” he told her and lightened the pressure of his foot on the gas pedal. 

He’d been waiting for over a year to do this and in just a few more miles, a few more minutes, it would happen. Christ, he just wanted to be on the beach already, one knee in the sand, smiling up at her as she said yes. She’d say yes… right?

His hand twitched toward the box of cigarettes in his cup holder and he fired one up. 

A handful of minutes later, Tora pulled the car smoothly into the parking lot of Kintsugi Beach. He stubbed out his cigarette and as he pushed himself out of the driver’s seat, he took a moment to regard the sky; it consisted of warm shades of pale pinks, oranges and purples. He smiled softly; it reminded him of the painting Poppy had given him, which now hung in their bedroom, by _his_ side of the bed. 

He looked over at his tiny girlfriend as she removed her shoes and deposited them into the backseat. He lifted an eyebrow at her. 

“Sand gets everywhere,” she explained. “It’s like glitter. The last thing you want is for it to live in your shoes forever. Plus, the beach is just better barefoot.”

Pfft. She’d know all about glitter and having been the only one of them who’d been to the beach, she’d know more about sand, too. 

He nodded at her and tossed his own shoes into the car. 

Hand in hand, they treaded through the lot. Bunches of long, wild grass clumped at the corners of the lot and waved at them in the wind, like they were old friends. It felt nice, almost familiar somehow. The closer they walked to the golden dunes, the more sand was scattered across the concrete lot and the moment his foot came into contact with the tiny, warm grains, Tora’s breath hitched in his throat. 

So _that’s_ what it felt like. 

Sand. The beach. Freedom. 

Poppy smiled up at him and tugged his hand a little harder forward. 

At last, their feet were buried in the soft, sanded slopes of the beach and Tora was met with the sight of the ocean for the first time. It was just like Poppy had said; constantly moving and changing around them. Waves of water rolled forward furiously before gently lapping and foaming at the shoreline. 

Seeing it reminded him of seeing Poppy for the first time; she’d settled every violent, tumbling wave inside of him. With her ways, her words, her body, she’d calmed them into something soft, gentle that churned pleasantly in his stomach, his heart, every time he looked at her. 

The only difference was that Poppy made him feel big, in all the ways that mattered. And standing next to this mindless, never-ending expanse, Tora felt… _smaller_ than something else. 

He said nothing as he continued to stare out at the ocean. Finally, he felt Poppy’s arm curl around his waist. He looked down at her with a grin. 

He slid one arm around her shoulders, thankful she was the one he could experience it with. This, right here, was what he’d been waiting for all these years. 

“It’s so… _big,”_ Tora said softly. “Fer the first time in my life, I feel small.”

Poppy nuzzled her face into his side. “Now you know how I feel when I stand next to you,” she said. 

“Pfft. Don’tcha feel that way when you stand next to _anythin’,_ Miss Five Foot Nothing?” he teased. 

She really did always make it too easy. 

She pinched at his side and he laughed. “Can it, you big thug.”

He dropped his arm from her and looked down at her. Should he do it now? What if she said no? 

“C’mon, let’s take a walk,” he said and offered her his hand. 

One walk, just a few steps to work up his nerves. 

“Um, are you sure you don’t want to get our things from the car first?” she asked as she interlaced her fingers with his.

“Nah,” he said and fidgeted at the ring in his pocket with his free hand. If he waited any longer, he might have a fucking heart attack. “That can wait.”

They chatted lightly as they strolled in ankle-deep water along the ocean’s edge, the sea foam tickling the bottoms of their bare feet. It looked colder than it really was, Tora realized and smirked at the thought that people usually had the same idea about him. 

Being with Poppy helped him achieve that warmth he’d sought after his entire life, that always felt just out of reach. With her, the stares in his direction were few and far between. She softened him, helped bring everything human about him to the surface and people noticed. 

He was the happiest he’d ever been and even if she didn’t want to get married, he’d spend the rest of his life returning the favor to her. 

The beach was mostly empty, save for a man jogging with his Labrador and another couple with three children in tow. Tora watched as Poppy smiled at the young family and waggled her fingers at the toddler in the mother’s arms. 

Tora matched Poppy’s smile; she’d be a good mom someday. 

Everything. He wanted _everything_ with her. 

At this thought, Tora dropped to his knee in the wet sand.

When she turned back to look at him, her big brown eyes widened larger than he’d ever seen them. 

Shit, what were the magic words? He couldn’t think of any, so he just began to speak. 

“Uh, now that we’re here, I don’t really know what ta say,” he said sheepishly and pulled the ring from his pocket. He held it out to her. “All I know’s I love you and I never wanna be without ya. Poppylan, will you marry me?”

 _There it was._

Just like that, it was out in the universe where she could hear it. And just as it had the night he’d told her he loved her for the first time, his heart thumped loudly against his chest, each _thud_ in time with the thundering waves parting around them. 

Poppy said nothing; she just continued to stare at him. 

Shit. 

“Bobby?” he said. 

Tears started forming in her eyes and he had no idea what they meant. 

_Fuck._

He should’ve written a speech or said something better, like Mr. Darcy. Maybe he should have talked to her about it first? Or put the ring in a piece of cake? When Quincey brought up the idea to him, he thought it was so fucking stupid, but maybe she would have liked it. 

God damnit, _what_ was she thinking?

Tora raked his hand through his hair and looked away from her. “Shit. I know we haven’t talked about it, but I thought this was somethin’ we both wanted. Will ya at least think it over? I mean, if ya don’t wanna marry me-“

He cut himself off as she dropped to her knees in front of him; tears streamed freely down her face. 

“Hey.” She cupped his cheek in her palm and forced him to look at her. He squinted at her against the fading sunlight. 

Poppy smiled and held out her left hand to him. 

“Try and stop me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: the Japanese word "kintsugi" is the process of mending broken pottery with lacquer that has been mixed with powdered gold, silver or platinum :)


	25. One Last Stages Update

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

Hi guys! It's so hard to believe that we're here again, at the end of another version of Stages. Even though the story has been told through Poppy's eyes and now Tora's, I'm STILL not ready to say goodbye. So you can imagine my shock/excitement when I saw some requests come through for one-shots of the aftermath: wedding, honeymoon, babies, etc. 

Ask and you shall receive! 

I already have a few ideas fleshed out for these future one-shots, but I also want to hear from you. Are there any scenes of the aftermath you'd like to see in particular? Or any ideas for scenes that you have in mind? It can literally be anything and I'll try my hardest to make it happen. 

If this is something you're interested in, please feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments below! I'm so thrilled to be continuing this journey with you :)

Thank you SO MUCH for being here; this community and the people in it mean everything to me <3 

Love you all and see you soon, 

pb&c


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